There you were.

All perfect like normal . . .

There goes my heart; I can feel it flutter as the pain melted away as I saw you. I got that feeling that only you could give me Hannie. You and only you will ever be able to give that feeling to me.

And the feeling is back while looking at you.

I quickly hurried to the back of the room where I was hardly visible. I was out of your sight. I could risk my heart breaking.

When you left me the first time it was enough. Enough to know that maybe you and I weren’t meant to be. For it seems that you just were lost with me.

Maybe I was never to be found with you.

To tell you the truth, Hannie, I hate you.

I hate the pain you gave me.

That you still give me.

I hate that you left me.

I hate that you never tried to talk to me.

I hate . . . .

I hate not being able to fully hate. I think its because I love you too much.

You lost me along your path somewhere. I thought we were happy but I think you wanting to stay strong allowed you to make us weak.

Or maybe it was me who lost you . . .

My thoughts were cut off by the sudden sound of music. I look up to see you stepping forward.

The crowd starts to cheer as you walked to the front of the stage. I quickly pulled on my hood of my jacket so you couldn’t see my face.

How weird huh. The diva, the great Kim Heechul doesn’t want to be seen. If they all saw me n-

Bliss.

This bliss . . .

It has been awhile since I have heard you sang. When you sing with out the whole studio messing around, it is beautiful. I love the moments I hear you.

Its is like time slows down and its only you and me again . . .

But aren’t I lost . . . ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The babble in the room rose with every passing second. I knew that you were only allowed to stay for a limited amount of time. Your manager made it quite clear as he watched you and kept glancing at his watch.

Hannie he looks more at it than I do.

I know down to the second in which you have to leave.

Do you know how much it hurts me to watch you be so close yet I know you are too far. Right now I’m just a face in this crowd of people.

I see you right now.

Your hair is much shorter than what I’m used to seeing, but its still has that shine it always did.

Your eyes are much happier; I can see the genuine happiness and joy as you talk to all the soldiers

And I feel jealous.

I want those eyes to smile at me and me alone. I narrow mine quickly as one of my troop members goes and hugs you.

I move quickly to walk out the door; we both know that if this was in the past, I would leave too. Old habits die-hard don’t they?

You had 10 minutes left and I was 10 feet away from the door.

9 . . .

8 . . .

7 . . .

6 . . .

5 . . .

“Heechul sunbae! Where are you going?!” cried one of the soldiers.

I knew you heard it.

Time seemed to slow as I whipped my head around to see you slowly glancing in my direction.

Then time stopped as our gaze met.

Your eyes narrowed in confusions.

Then they flew open in recognition and shock.

The emotions fled in them.

Shock turned to curiosity

Then wanting

Then loneliness

Then sadness

Then  . .  . Love?

Time snapped back in place as I blinked. I see you slowly moving towards me and I know I can’t take this. You didn’t love me.

You wouldn’t love me after so long.

You can’t love me . . .

Can you? I thought the love for me you once had was lost and never to be found.

I ran out the door and fled towards the cabins.

I could hear your run after me, calling me to stop.

But I don’t know if I can go back.

You seem too close, and I am too far lost for you.

Will you ever find m