‘What the-! Junnie, what’s wrong? Woonie left his phone at home, and went out just now. I was curious who was calling so many times so I peeked. What happened?’ Yo Seob’s voice came across the speakers. Jun Hyung groaned, his breath left his lungs in a rush.

‘Aww man, I think I screwed up.’ Jun Hyung sat down back in the chair heavily.

‘Huh? I thought you guys were recording together? Why aren’t you back with Woonie?’

‘He left first…’

‘Why?’

‘I DUNNO, ALRIGHT! I dunno what went wrong just now! !’ Jun Hyung rubbed a hand across his face.

‘Okay, okay. Wait, I’m going over okay. Stay there and don’t do anything. Just wait and calm down okay?’ Jun Hyung can hear the sounds of Yo Seob leaving the dorm coming through the phone.

He sighed and agreed, hanging up the phone. He slumped backwards into the chair, his head resting on the back rest. All sorts of scenarios played in his head, getting him more and more worried. He prayed Dong Woon would return to the dorm safely. In the state he was in, he hoped nothing would happen to the youngest. Aish, you stupid prick. You should have followed him out just now! What if he got into an… an accident?! Arghhhh!

‘Junnie?’ Yo Seob pushed open the door cautiously.

‘Here.’

‘You look awful. What happened?’

‘I dunno!’

‘Okay, why don’t you tell me what happened from the beginning.’

Jun Hyung took a deep breath and recounted his conversation with Dong Woon just now.

‘I think I know what he was thinking. He probably thought you were embarrassed to say out the reason because you didn’t want to embarrass him. Because you paused for so long, and you never do pause for long in a conversation, he probably jumped to conclusion. You know how recently there is a rash of BEAST haters posting online, and it probably got to him. But, if you don’t clarify your feelings for him soon, you probably won’t have another chance to do it. I’m sure he wouldn’t be so mean as to reject you right away, so what’s the harm?’ Yo Seob teased the still troubled rapper.

‘Aish! That’s not even funny, Seob! How would you know he wouldn’t reject me… I don’t wanna spoil our relationship…’

‘It’s kinda too late to say that now, Junnie.’

‘I know… So what should I do?’

‘Tell him.’

‘Just like that?’

‘You know how he can’t tolerate if people beat about the bush, Jun. and in his current state of mind, I doubt you will have a long time to convince him before he walks away again.’ Yo Seob pointed out. Jun Hyung thought about it, and he agreed with Yo Seob’s assessment.

‘It’s a good thing I have you Seob.’

‘Go on, hurry up! What are you doing still standing here for?’ Yo Seob pushed him towards the door.

‘Thanks, Seob!’ Jun Hyung yelled as he ran out, leaving the chuckling Yo Seob behind.

Dong Woon didn’t know what came over him. He had never been that rude to any of his hyungs, especially to Jun Hyung. He was just so crushed. He knew logically that he had no cause to feel inferior to any of the other members but sometimes it just gets to him. The members were always supportive of him, and they always reassured him that he was definitely worthy to be in BEAST, and to hell with the haters. He was lucky he had such awesome members.

So why the hell did I say those things to Junnie anyway? Dong Woon stopped and looked out to the river. He had taken a cab to the Han River after he left the dorm. He liked the atmosphere there, the water, and the peace it gave him to think. He realised he didn’t bring his phone out with him on the way to the river, but he couldn’t be bothered to go back to fetch it.

Leaning against the railing, he exhaled. His mind was in turmoil. He loves Jun Hyung, there was no need to hide it from himself, but he was also angry with him. Wait, why was he angry with Jun for? I… am… Jealous…? What? Dong Woon turned and rested on the railing, feeling the wind blow through his hair.  Am I? Jealous? He thought back to how he felt when he thought of Jun Hyung and Yo Seob recording so many guides. Then he guessed he really was. Jealous, that is. Aish! What do I do now? I need to apologize for my behaviour… His hands went through his hair roughly, thoroughly messing it up.

He resumed his slow walk along the river, just relaxing and letting his thoughts run their course. He was lucky it was late at night and not much people were out. He had gone out hurriedly and didn’t bring any disguises except for a hoodie, which he kept down. He walked further and further into the park where the river was at, not worried about the time.

Jun Hyung had waited for half an hour back at the dorm, and he was getting antsier and antsier by the minute. Even Yo Seob, who had been behind him, had reached the dorm already. He kept praying that nothing had happened to Dong Woon, trying to keep his thoughts positive.

Five minutes later, he couldn’t take it anymore. He got up and grabbed his things, running out the front door.

‘Where are you going?!’ Yo Seob, who was at the living room, asked as he ran past.

‘Out. I need to find him.’ Jun Hyung answered impatiently, as he struggled to put on his shoes correctly.

‘Wear a disguise, at least. And do you intend to just run around without a clue?’

‘I can’t stand staying put while he is out there somewhere feeling upset!’ Yo Seob was amazed at this different side of Jun Hyung he saw. He had never seen this side of Jun Hyung so worked up over somebody. But then again, they were talking about Dong Woon, so he wasn’t really surprised.

‘Think. Where could he be? Where does he usually go to when he needs space?’ Yo Seob went back to watching the TV.

‘Where? I think… The Han River! Thanks Seobie.’ Without any other word, he ran.

The wind was picking up and despite the darkness, the moon was shining brightly enough for Dong Woon to noticed the heavy clouds gathering in the night sky. He raised the top of his hoodie. He had turned back and started walking back towards the gates. His feelings were not in a jumbled mess like before, but he still didn’t exactly know what to do. He didn’t know to whether to go back and apologize and pretend it never happened,  or go back and confess to Jun Hyung about his feelings.

The skies rumbled with the warning of an oncoming rain and Dong Woon turned his head down, in anticipation of the rain drops. He didn’t notice a figure running towards him.

‘Dong Woon! Woonie?’

‘Huh?’ Dong Woon raised his head, and saw a familiar figure running at him. He smiled, knowing the rapper rarely runs anywhere if he could help it, but wiped it off because he still haven’t decided what to do.

Jun Hyung saw the smile fading from the maknae’s face and his heart lurched. Damn, he’s still angry at me. he finally reached the younger man, and he doubled over, getting his breath back. Dong Woon remained silent.

‘Woon-ah-’ Jun Hyung started.

‘What are you doing here hyung?’ Dong Woon cut him off immediately.

‘Yah, don’t interru- Nevermind. You weren’t back at the dorm so I came out to find you.’

‘For what? I’m fine.’ Dong Woon kept his head down, not looking at the rapper.

‘You are? Don’t lie to me. I saw your eyes just now, Son Dong Woon, so don’t you dare lie to me.’ Jun Hyung spat, hating the way the younger man was talking like nothing happened.

He saw Dong Woon’s shoulder’s slump at his tone of voice and he softened.

‘Come on Woonie. I’m worried. Why did just leave just now?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Now, don’t you dare-’

‘FINE! You wanna know?! I’ll tell you! I left because I couldn’t stand the anger I felt when you didn’t reply me! I left because you didn’t deny what I said! I left because I was jealous! I left because I couldn’t stand the pain of loving you, but with you not even noticing! Or worst, love someone else! I leftbecause I didn’t want you to see how pathetic I was…’ Dong Woon railed at Jun Hyung, meeting his eyes for the first time.

Wow, he has such beautiful eyes, even when they were filled with pain, shame and anger. And tears. Jun Hyung saw the tears, and the rare sight of Dong Woon’s tears rooted him to his spot.

Dong Woon saw that his hyung wasn’t talking again, and he gave up. He wouldn’t wait for him anymore. He moved his feet, and brushed past the dumbfounded rapper, tears slowly rolling down his eyes. He kept silent, even though the sobs were trying to burst out from his chest. It just hurts so much. He was nearing the gates when someone hugged him from the back. He froze. For a moment, no one said anything. They just stood there in the dark, little drops of water falling with increasing speed and intensity.

‘Woonie…’ Dong Woon could barely hear the Jun Hyung’s voice. He didn’t move.

‘Dong Woon-ah, do you really mean what you said just now? That you… Love me?’ Jun Hyung buried his face into the broad expanse of the maknae’s back, hoping and wishing it was the truth.

‘I don’t say what I don’t mean.’ Dong Woon replied coldly.

‘Why did you say you were jealous, Woon?’ Jun Hyung felt the younger man stiffen, and he hugged him tighter.

‘I... I was jealous when you didn’t correct me when I said that Yo Seob have clashing schedules so he couldn’t record the song for you. I was jealous that you and Yo Seob always records your guides for you. I was jealous because you are so close to Yo Seob, yet I can only spend time with you when Yo Seob is busy.’ Jun Hyung was so shocked he raised his head, his grip on Dong Woon loosening. Dong Woon didn’t move away, though his back was still to the rapper.

Jun Hyung couldn’t believe what he was actually hearing.

‘Why the hell did you think that way, Woonie?! I asked you to record with me because I think you are perfect for the song. NOT because Yo Seob couldn’t make it. I’ll have you know he currently doesn’t have any schedules that clashes with mine.’ Jun Hyung was still talking to the maknae’s back. He took hold of the other man’s hands and turned him to face him. He noticed the tear tracks, despite the rain and the hood. He hated the fact that he was the one who caused those precious drops to fall.

‘And I don’t spend time with you only when Yo Seob is not around. Remember that day we went to the arcade, wrapped up like it was winter? And that day when you said you wanted to go to the library to get some books? And that time when you dragged me out to the night market because you said you simply needed to get out. Remember, Woonie?’

Hearing all that caused Dong Woon’s tears to fall faster.

‘, Woonie! Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to make you cry, Dong Woon!’ he gently brushed the tears away, his thumbs catching the tear drops. He hated the fact that he was the one who caused those precious drops to fall.

‘And you know what, Woonie? I enjoyed those times. I enjoyed it because I was with you. I enjoyed it because we were having fun together. I enjoyed it because I was spending time with the person I love.’ Jun Hyung finally got the courage to tell Dong Woon, to finally say the big L word.

Dong Woon’s tearful eyes clashed with his in shock. He saw the unspoken question, and he chuckled.

‘Yes, I said love. I said I love you. I love you, Son Dong Woon.’ Jun Hyung almost chuckled the way the other man’s eyes widened. He stifled it though, knowing it wasn’t the time.

‘Wha- You- How- Huh?’ Dong Woon didn’t know how to respond to that. He had never imagined that the person he secretly loves have the same feelings too.

‘I love you, Woonie. I love your smile, the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. The way you put your hyungs before you. The way you man up even though things were rough. The way you laugh, the way you take care of the members, the way you sing. I love your voice. Why do you think I picked you to sing this song with me? Who do you think I am? I don’t ask people I don’t think is worthy to sing my songs, ya know.’

‘But, you didn’t say it to me just now. I thought I was really right, that you only got me to sing when Yo Seob didn’t have the time.’ Dong Woon embarrassed.

‘Woon, I was shocked speechless, because that was the last thing that crossed my mind. Not because I agreed with you.’ Jun Hyung chided gently. He held Dong Woon’s cold hands in his, and took a deep breath.

‘You know, the song was actually written for… It was written for you. The lyrics, were how I felt. I didn’t know how in the world am I going to tell you my feelings. I was scared. I didn’t want to lose my relationship with you. I didn’t want to tell you and only have you rejecting my feelings. Yo Seob knew my feelings for you, that was why he convinced me to actually record the song with you. I never meant for the song to be seen by you. It was too embarrassing. But I’m glad you saw it now, because you know how I felt, when I couldn’t have you.’ this time, it was Jun Hyung’s turn to look at the ground.

Dong Woon was elated. He never in a million years would imagine that Jun Hyung would love him back. He still couldn’t get over the fact that Jun Hyung was there, confessing to him as well. For the first time since he left the studio, he smiled.

Jun Hyung felt wet fingers under his chin, lifting it up so he could meet the eyes of the man he loves. His breath exploded out of his lungs when he saw that Dong Woon was smiling. He was actually smiling!

‘Your smile is really beautiful.’ He looked at Dong Woon wondrously. Dong Woon blushed, lowering his eyes a little, thick lashes descending.

‘Yours too. I always love to see that rare smile of yours. The one where you left your mouth curve all the way.’ Dong Woon told him. ‘Yes, that one.’ Dong Woon added, when he saw the rapper giving his full smile.

They looked at each other, just standing in the rain. Jun Hyung had took the hood down from Dong Woon’s head so he could see his eyes better. It was such a relief for them both to finally say out what they have been hiding for years. They inched their heads closer, their eyes not leaving the other’s. Finally, finally, their lips touch and the world was forgotten.

‘Achoo! Hyung, pass the tissue box please, will you?’ a thick nasal voice called out.

‘No. get your own. This is mine.’ Another equally nasal voice replied.

‘I didn’t know you hoard tissue boxes too.’ Dong Woon teased the man lying beside him, on his bed.

‘I don’t. I just don’t like to share.’ Jun Hyung replied, turning and smiling at him.

‘Me too.’

‘Good.’

‘Yah, yah, yah! No lovey dovey talk when you’re sick! It’s gross! Especially when you do it in that sick voice of yours!’ Ki Kwang poked his head through the door, his nose crinkling in disgust.

‘Leave them alone, Kwangie! And what did I say? Don’t go into their rooms! You might get sick too!’ Doo Jun’s voice travelled from the living room to the couple’s bedroom. The said couple just smiled at each other, purposely making kissy faces at each other, causing the main dancer to gag in disgust and withdraw his head.

They had told the members the day before when they got back to the dorm finally. They were soaking wet and shivering. They weren’t able to say anything since they got bundled up the moment they entered the front door, but they revealed their relationship to the other four. The members took it in stride, though some blinked in surprise. They haven’t told anyone else yet though. They were going to keep it low profile for the time being.

Looking at each other with teary eyes, and watery smile, the rapper and the maknae gazed into each other’s eyes.

‘How come we are so happy, yet our song turns out to be so sad?’

‘I dunno.’

‘Tsk.’

‘Hey! Doesn’t mean you can be rude to me just because we are together, maknae!’

Dong Woon just replied him with a kiss on the lips.

‘EW! GROSS!’

‘Who asked you to peek?’ Dong Woon cheekily retorted.

He and Jun Hyung just chuckled at the way Ki Kwang stormed out, turning back to look at each other, smiling sweetly.

[a/n: hey guys! do you guys understand this? lolx >< i dun really know what i wrote.. sigh. please please please comment and tell me what do you think of this? and please pardon any mistake and the bad lyrics in the foreword... oh and Sayhello unnie, i hope you like it! :D happy birthday!]