‘Junnie Hyung, why did you pick me to record this song? I expected you to get Seobie hyung to record this with you. I mean, I’m very grateful, and the song is incredible, but I’m just curious.’ Dong Woon trained his questioning brown eyes onto the rapper. They were in the midst of recording the said song, when Dong Woon finally asked the question that had confused him for days. He thought back to how the two of them ended up in the recording studio together, working on that new song.

Dong Woon was doing some light cleaning around the house. He was picking up the dirty laundry from the floor and dumping them into the hamper for them to bring down to the Laundromat later. He was in Jun Hyung’s room when he saw something that caught his attention. Something was sticking out of a drawer. It looked like some paper was stuck in the drawer and no one had bothered taking it out. He reached down and pulled the sheet of paper out, scanning across the page quickly. His eyes widened. I’m in so much trouble now… Junnie Hyung doesn’t like people touching his music scores… maybe I’ll pretend not to see it? But he would know someone touched it…

Just then, he heard the door to the rapper’s room open wider, and the rapper himself stepped into the room. He paused when he noticed Dong Woon in the room but he dropped onto the bed anyway.

‘Hi hyung. Just back from your schedules? What did you do today?’ Dong Woon tried to hide his fidgeting hands, and the paper, from the tired rapper.

‘Hi, Woonie. Nothing much. Just went for MV shooting and performed Good Boy with Baek Ji Young Sunbae.’

‘I bet you were awesome.’ Dong Woon smiled at the rapper, getting a small smile in reply.

‘And you wanna know what is awesome?’ Jun Hyung just shrugged.

‘This!’ Dong Woon held out the paper to the rapper. Jun Hyung took it from him and paled when he saw what was on it.

‘Wh-where did you get this?’ he was flabbergasted.

‘It was poking out of that drawer, so I went to check it out. I’m sorry though, I didn’t mean to peek. It was an accident!’ Dong Woon pointed and hurriedly defended himself.

‘Oh…’ Dammit! Should’ve put it away properly...

‘But, hyung! Are you going to let the company take a look? It looks completed to me.’ Dong Woon asked.

‘No…’

‘Why??? It is really good, hyung! I really think it’s a good song! Why not?’ Dong Woon was confused.

‘Erm, because… Aish, why do you wanna know so much?! Just leave it, maknae!’ Dong Woon pouted, but he was not deterred. He snatched the paper out of Jun Hyung’s hands and marched right out of the room without a word.

‘SEOBIE HYUNG!’ Jun Hyung heard the maknae’s loud yell from the inside of his room.

‘YES?’ Yo Seob sounded like he was in the kitchen.

Jun Hyung hurried onto his feet and went outside to see what the youngest was up to.

‘Hyung, look at this. Don’t you think it has a lot of potential?’ Dong Woon ed the paper into the main vocals face. Yo Seob scanned the lyrics on the paper and turned to look at the rapper, who was standing there, unsure of how to proceed. Yo Seob gave the rapper a knowing look. Dong Woon was still focused on the paper so he didn’t notice. There was a silent plea in Jun Hyung’s dark eyes, but Yo Seob decided to ignore it. He knew what the paper was, and he knew what the rapper was asking.

‘Yeah, I think it’s great!’ Yo Seob turned and smiled at the maknae.

‘See! Even Seobie hyung agrees. I think you really should just show it to the company!’ Dong Woon couldn’t understand why the rapper was being so stubborn. It was a damn good song, and Jun Hyung should seriously record it.

‘But I don’t wanna!’ he whined.

‘Why not! I think it would turn out well!’ Seobie gave the rapper a mischievous look, ignoring the glare he got in return.

You see, Yo Seob happened to know what the song was to Jun Hyung. He knew what caused the song to be written, why, and who was it about. He knew, because the rapper had confided in him. Yo Seob was the only one who knew who Jun Hyung liked. And no, the rumours about him and KARA’s Hara were just that. Rumours.

Well, the person Jun really liked… that would be the maknae. Yep, THEIR maknae. Specifically, the Son Nam Shin. Yo Seob knew, if he asked why Jun Hyung was in love with the maknae, he would say because of his smile.

‘His smile. That smile that makes his entire face light up and his eyes crinkle.’ Jun Hyung told him simply, when Yo Seob asked him about it.

Yo Seob didn’t understand, but then again, why would he? Who would understand how the rapper thinks? He recalled that Jun had said that he had feelings for the maknae since the first time they met, at CUBE. He didn’t notice anything going on back then, but even if he did, he wouldn’t remember.

Yo Seob thinks that Jun Hyung should just confess, and to hell with the aftermath. The other members didn’t even had any inkling of an idea about Jun Hyung’s feelings for their maknae. Yes, the cool and swag rapper loved their Son Nam Shin. But the main vocal was certain of one thing. The members would welcome the couple, if Jun Hyung ever mustered the courage to tell Dong Woon, that is. He knew it, Jun Hyung knew it, but still, he kept his mouth zipped over his feelings.

‘Junnie hyung, I REALLY REALLY think you and Seobie hyung should record the guide! I know it would be awesome!’ Dong Woon was relentless. Dong Woon knew he was being annoying, but he felt a connection to the song. He didn’t know why, just that it sang to him. It really should deserve a chance to shine.

‘Really?’ Jun Hyung was starting to crumble beneath the maknae’s assault. God knows he can’t resist the maknae if he pulls the puppy eyes.

‘I have an even better idea! Why not YOU and Woonie record the song guide?’ Jun Hyung almost groaned out loud. Dong Woon wasn’t looking so well too. In fact, he looked uncomfortable.

‘Erm, I don’t think I can do it. I think Seobie would do better than I can. I mean since you always help Junnie record his guides and all.’ Was that jealousy he detected? Yo Seob wondered. OHO! Have I just picked up something interesting? Hmmm… I wonder…

‘No, no, Woonie, having you record will be good. In fact, I think it’s an awesome idea! Jun, weren’t you and Woon playing around with the idea that day? You said on the interview remember?’ Yo Seob gave him a pointed look.

Oh yeah. I said that having either Woon or Seob record a new project… Jun Hyung thought back about the interview. It would be awesome if we did record it together. As long as my heart stays intact… Jun Hyung made a decision.

‘Woon, will you record the guide with me?’

‘M-m-me? You mean me?’ Dong Woon was shocked.

‘Yeah, you.’

‘Oh…’

‘So…?’

‘OKAY!’ Jun Hyung smiled at the exuberant way the maknae was celebrating. The youngest calmed down soon enough, but the pleased smile was plastered on his face for a much longer time. Jun Hyung knew his own answering smile was visible as well, but he could care less.

Over the next few days, they went to the studio and recorded a short guide to submit to the company. Dong Woon really enjoyed the time he gets to spend with his hyung. He… had special feelings for the rapper since God knows when. Actually, he could remember the exact day, time and circumstance he realized he loved his hyung, not just in the brotherly way he loved Ki Kwang, Doo Jun, Yo Seob and Hyun Seung.

They were practicing at the dance studio for their follow up song for their debut, Mystery. Jun Hyung was observing the maknae practicing a particular movement, while the others were enjoying their break. He went over to him and cuffed him on the head, earning an ‘OW!’ for his actions. Without a word, he demonstrated that troublesome move, emphasizing on the important details. Dong Woon obediently copied and finally got the hang of it. But before he left the maknae, he brushed his hands against where he had hit the younger man earlier as an apology of sorts. When they got back to their dorm after practice, Jun Hyung approached him with a can of coke, fresh from the refrigerator. They all knew how protective Jun was about his coke, so he was kind of surprised. Nonetheless, he took the coke, who knew when you had to go downstairs just for a can of it even though the dorm had some because Jun wasn’t sharing. That cool and swag image of his certainly ain’t the only image he has. He has a side to him that makes me melt. That gentle side of him. Even though he was just giving me coke, it affected me so much. Dong Woon realised his feelings for Jun Hyung… weren’t as straightforward as it seems.

They were now actually recording the full song in the studio. The director was pleased with the song when he heard the guide, and he gave Jun Hyung two options. First, to record the song himself, or second, to give it to other artistes. Jun Hyung was reluctant to relinquish the song though. It was personal to him, it has all of his real feelings in it.

Jun Hyung looked up from the score and froze at the sight of Dong Woon smiling to himself. I’m so glad I have this alone time with him. It’s so hard, with my schedules and our different rooms. But I will always remember his smile. Jun Hyung smiled unwittingly.

Dong Woon finally snapped out of his thoughts. He didn’t realise he was smiling as he recalled how he realised he actually love the rapper. He turned and saw the said man looking at him, smiling that small smile of his. Damn, I love that smile. And that smirk. And that laugh of his. He finally noticed he was staring at Jun Hyung and he looked away.

Jun Hyung remembered writing the song one night, when he just couldn’t sleep. It was when the rumours of him and KARA’s Hara surfaced. He knew it was far from the truth. The truth that his heart has been stolen by Dong Woon. The truth that no one, except for Dong Woon can make his heart melt with just one smile. The truth that even though his love for Dong Woon for infinite, he had no way of telling it and everybody else.

Because he was afraid. He wasn’t afraid of how people would judge him. He was afraid of all the backlash Dong Woon will have to suffer if he went public. He couldn’t do that to him no matter what. And what’s more, he doesn’t have a clue whether the maknae returned his feelings or not. He doesn’t even know the ual preference of the maknae, how was he supposed to know if he ever stands a chance?!

Thinking about obstacles got him depressed. He knew that logically, he should just give up the feelings for Dong Woon. To forget why he loves him so much. But just how can he forget? He sees that perfect smile every day! Whenever he goes for his separate schedules, he counts down the time he would have to wait till he sees Dong Woon again. It was like a drug, waking him fully whenever he sees the smile.

The song wrote itself out, the lyrics, the melody… Everything. It was as though his heart poured out all his emotions and turned them into words.

He was afraid. Of being rejected. Of being hurt. Of knowing he wouldn’t matter as much to Dong Woon as Dong Woon mattered to him. Knowing he was afraid didn’t help make confessing any easier. Since he hadn’t done it yet as of now. He looked at Dong Woon, and remembered his question. Why did I pick you to sing this song? I dunno… maybe it’s because I love you? Because I want to spend time with you? Because I wrote this song for you? Jun Hyung thought to himself wryly. He blushed, his cheeks reddening a little, when the thought of just confessing his love then and there entered his head.

Dong Woon saw the rapper’s cheeks reddening a little, and he deflated.

‘Jun, it’s okay if you don’t wanna say. I understand. Yo Seob must’ve clashing schedules so you didn’t want him to overwork himself right? No worries. I understand. I can ask Hyun Seung or Ki Kwang to do it for you. They’ll do a good job for sure.’ Dong Woon stood up and moved towards the door.

‘W-wait! What are you talking about, Woonie?’

‘It’s obvious I’m not the one suited for this song. I mean, why me when you can have Yo Seob and Hyun Seung? Don’t worry, I’m sure even if Yo Seob is busy, he can still get the time out for you.’ Dong Woon left the studio.

‘Wait, Dong Woon-ah!’ Jun Hyung called, but he was too late. He had already left.

Now what in the world was that all about?! Dammit! Now he’s upset. He caught the sheen of tears in the younger man’s eyes when he turned to leave. His heart tore itself apart knowing he was the one who caused the tears. The maknae was always strong, always smiling, even when he was tired or sick. Jun Hyung was wondering how the heck did the conversation turned so quickly. Why in the world would he think that way?! Did he just imply that I picked him simply out of convenience? The rapper’s confusion turned into indignation. I’ll have him know that I don’t just simply ask anyone to record my songs with me, dammit! And who the hell gave him that idea anyway?!

Jun Hyung tried calling the maknae once he realised he wasn’t coming back to the studio but he wasn’t answering his phone. Jun Hyung knew, he knew, the youngest never decline any calls from his hyungs, he was brought up to be polite. , I hope he’s okay! Has he reached the dorm yet? Wasn’t his phone with him? Dammit, Son Dong Woon! Why are you doing this to me?

He redialled and redialled, but there was no answer. He was about to leave for the dorm when the phone rang in his hands. He immediate answered, yelling into the phone.

‘Yah, where the heck did you go?!’

[a/n: i originally intended for this to be a one shot, but it got too long so im just gonna post the rest of it in the next chappie kay?! :D its still a one shot... kinda... hehehehe]