Shocked. Just plain shocked, like being electrified against will.  It wasn’t fair, what happened to him, in fact it shouldn’t happen at all. But it did. And as Ryeowook stood there, watching at his fiancée that could not deny that he and Sungmin had an affair, he just cannot say anything anymore.

“He didn’t love you,” Sungmin said, eyes wide triumphant. “I ing told you. See.”

And the little one was frozen, staring at the only thing that kept him sane for years. Kyuhyun, his beloved, his one and only, who got nothing to say against Sungmin’s accusation.

It was supposed to be a pleasant dinner, just for the two of them. 

Ryeowook looked at Kyuhyun slowly. Seeing him. Seeing him properly. And perhaps for the first time.

Was what he did all this time a lie? Then the confession, the proposal, it was all a lie? Thinking of it, Ryeowook could not help but feeling so sad. What was he all this time, a toy to be discarded? Why would Kyuhyun lie to him, cheat on him, sneak behind him? Why making him believe that Kyuhyun love him?

It’s for you, Ryeowook. For you.

Ah. His inner self realized.

So Ryeowook ran his fingers through his own hair and laugh. “Is that so?”

Kyuhyun widened his eyes involuntarily, surprised of the response that he got. Even Sungmin was taken aback. Ryeowook laughed?

“I get it, I get it. Stupid Kyuhyun, lying like that,” he said, shaking his head. He inhaled deeply, before he beamed. “Well then, I better get going. I’m sorry for bothering you, Sungmin. You too, Cho Kyuhyun.” And with that, Ryeowook put on his jacket, waved, and stepped out of the restaurant.

The chain that bound the two was now broken.

Sungmin sighed. “If I know it took that little effort for him to get lost, I would’ve done that a long time ago.”

No. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. It was Ryeowook, his or not, and Ryeowook was supposed to be the one who cry when he found out. Ryeowook was always so weak, so fragile, that Kyuhyun must always be there for him. He would not  be able to stand something like this, to hold back his tears, even moreso to laugh. But now that Ryeowook didn’t cry, he was the one that became lost.

“Kyuhyun?”

Kyuhyun, why did you want to cry?

“Oh, ,” Sungmin inhaled a sharp breath, horrified at Kyuhyun’s current expression. “No, no, no, no! It wasn’t supposed to be this way! You love me!” He cried, filled with fear and horror. 

Kyuhyun was tugged out of his frozen state, as he figured out what happened. Sungmin's alarmed face practically told him everything.

Kyuhyun was the one that rely on Ryeowook. He was the one that count on Ryeowook to never leave. He thought that he was the one holding Ryeowook up, when in fact Ryeowook was the one holding Kyuhyun up. He was the fragile one. He was the one seeking comfort and stability that Ryeowook provided.

He switched his gaze to Sungmin, eyes fixed with determination. “Sungmin.”

“No!” Sungmin yelled, his blood run cold. “You love me, right? You said you do! Why now!"He started crying. "Why change your mind when I'm about to have you?”

“I’m sorry,” he said in frustration. “I’m so sorry.”

“ you!” Sungmin screamed aloud.

Kyuhyun didn’t quite remember what happened next. Everything was blurry, like it was a dream.

Stupid Kyuhyun, lying like that.

Lying? Was he ever lying, all this time, telling Ryeowook that he loved him? If it was, then why did it hurt? Cause he felt it, his chest was throbbing with unbearable pain that he wished were never there. But now he knew he was the cause of that torment, he was the one hurting both Ryeowook and himself. And he found himself running on the street. As fast as he could, like mad, eyes searching for certain someone in the crowd.

Ryeowook could be there, he should, he must. Cause Kyuhyun really couldn’t think how to live if he was not there.

“Ryeowook-ah!” He cried aloud, repeatedly, till he felt like his throat was burning all over.

Then he saw the fragile boy. There, on the side of the street, staggering among the crowd that pay no heed to him. 

He was broken.

But oh how beautiful.

It should’ve never hurt  if all Kyuhyun ever felt for him was friendship. It should’ve not hurt at all.

Stupid Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun laughed and cried all the same.

Ryeowook was there. Ryeowook was there.

There.

Ryeowook saw him. Saw his tears.

And Ryeowook stopped. Arms were almost immediately around him, hugging him close. And just like before, he didn’t struggle out, nor ran away. He buried his head on Kyuhyun’s chest without hesitation. Whether it was because Ryeowook knew he couldn’t win against Kyuhyun or because he was too tired to, Kyuhyun didn’t know for sure. But he was glad.

“Don’t cry,” Kyuhyun said, breathlessly.

It was silent for a while. “I’m not,” came the silly reply.

“Then why is my shirt wet?” Kyuhyun laughed incredulously through his tears.

How could they be having this conversation like this? How?

Just how big, how pure of a heart Ryeowook have, to still talk to him like this?

Again, there was a short pause before the answer. Ryeowook was definitely trying to find excuse. Then like helping him, rain started prickling down his skin. It masked his tears almost instantly, and Kyuhyun almost sneer at it. “It’s the rain.”

“Well the rain,” Kyuhyun said.

Another silence. “ you.”

Kyuhyun blinked his eyes in disbelief. Has his ears failed him, or was Ryeowook really swore at him?

He supposed he deserved it. After all the pain Kyuhyun caused him, he was right to even hit him right there right then. He has the right to leave, right at this very moment, to let Kyuhyun drown in his misery.

But he didn't.

“Raised your head then, let’s see who’s right,” the taller one challenged.

And he really raised head, looking directly at Kyuhyun. Puffy, red eyes. Annoyed, pouting mouth. Disheveled, wet hair. Okay, definitely crying it was.

“I am an idiot, Ryeowook-ah. I'm sorry,” Kyuhyun said, hugging him tighter. He could hear the half-hearted laughed, muffled, probably by his own shirt. It pained him more than anything else to see Ryeowook cry. “But I'm not lying when I said I love you.”

The head shot up again after, full of disbelief. “You're not?”

“I do love you,” Kyuhyun said, staring deep into his eyes. “I do love you. For god sake, I love you like mad.”

The eyes looking back at him grew wider, and sparkling again with tears. “Damn it, Cho Kyuhyun. Damn it. Damn you."

“I love you, Kim Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun nodded, smiling. “I'm sorry that I was an idiot. Let me make it up for you."

Ryeowook punched his chest lightly. “Idiot.”

“This idiot loves you,” Kyuhyun said, slowly pulling away from the hug. His eyes were suddenly aware of the commotion around, that started to clue in to the little drama of the two. “Let's go home.”

“Why?” the little one asked.

"Why?"

"Why not him?"

Kyuhyun honestly didn't know. 

"I don't know," Kyuhyun admitted. How many things had happened because of him? Because he did not realize his own feelings. He hurt Sungmin. He hurt Ryeowook. Everything because he could not bear losing people in his life. And even now, he was afraid. "All I know is that I love you."

Ryeowook smiled at him. He tugged on Kyuhyun's shirt.

Kyuhyun looked down at him. “Yes?”

Ryeowook's hand reached out, landing on his cheek softly, before giving him a loving kiss. It was almost awkward, as he never initiates it before. He was hesitating a little, as if confused, scared, but then he relaxed in his arm. He felt uncomfortable, pulling Kyuhyun’s neck down because the man seemed to be lost in his thoughts that he didn’t have any sense to bow down even a little.

“I love you,” Ryeowook said against his lips, before hiding his head in embarrassment onto his chest.

Kyuhyun’s head went empty as if zapped, and then he was laughing, eyes teary. Of disbelief, of embarrassment, of fear. But most of all, of love.

“I love you too.”

Edited 20.08.2017