“You’re awfully excited today.” Baekhyun observes, watching his roommate tap his fingers along the windowsill. Chanyeol turns, flashing the smaller boy a radiant smile that nearly takes his breath away.

“Kris-hyung comes back home today with the rest of the members!” Chanyeol beams. “Don’t you miss them?”

“Of course I do, but it looks like you’re watching for Santa Claus out the window.” Baekhyun smiles back at him, but the younger changed his expression to mock judgment; one eye squinting in that oh-so-Chanyeol style.

“Baek. Everyone knows Santa doesn’t come unless you’re asleep.”

Baekhyun’s smile just widens. One more mark on the list of reasons why Baekhyun loves Chanyeol. With a chuckle, he presses himself against Chanyeol’s back and rests his chin on top of auburn curls. The only time he gets to be taller than the other boy is when he’s standing and the other isn’t, so he takes advantage of it as often as possible.

He rests his hands on Chanyeol’s shoulders. The ‘best friend’ thing is wonderful; Baekhyun would be the first to admit it. But deep in his heart, he knows there’s something about the tall, gangly rapper that’s different. Special. His heart beats a little harder when he looks at Chanyeol, his fingers shake just a little more.

Baekhyun decides in that moment that he’ll confess his feelings to Chanyeol that night after dinner. No doubt they’d be mingling as twelve for a little while, unless the rest of EXO-M was too tired, but he’d just pull Chanyeol aside into their room casually, shut the door, and get it out. In his head, he knows there’s always the chance that he’ll be rejected, that Chanyeol might just want to be friends, might not like boys that way. But in his heart, he knows that it wouldn’t hurt too much, because Chanyeol was his best friend and best friends wouldn’t destroy feelings like that.

If he accepts, however, Baekhyun doesn’t think he’d be able to contain the kiss he’s always wanted to plant on those adorable lips. Those pink lips that often parted whenever the tall boy was thinking, lost in his own mind. Those pink lips that curled into the most gorgeous grin whenever the slightest thing amused him. Those pink lips…

“They’re home!” Chanyeol shouts excitedly, tearing Baekhyun from his reverie. The smaller boy presses his cheek to his companion’s.

“I’ll race ya to the kitchen.”
 

It’s hard for Baekhyun not to display his heart on his sleeve during dinner that night. He couldn’t get ahead of himself, couldn’t ruin the surprise for himself. His impeccably good mood is questioned only when he single-handedly volunteers to take care of the dishes.

Baekhyun sets the final glass in the cupboard and grins to himself. Tao is lingering in the kitchen, chatting with him lightly. When the elder asks if he saw where Chanyeol had escaped to, he grins and lets him know that he had seen the tall boy head to his room. The plan was already in motion; Baekhyun didn’t even have to convince Chanyeol to follow him.

I’m ready for this, Baekhyun tells himself, steeling his resolve one last time. He goes over the words in his head again and again, committing them to memory and hoping that his tongue will not trip over itself. With a smile, he realizes that even if he did stutter or forget or generally mess up this perfect moment, Chanyeol would be the type to laugh with him, not at him. He’d probably find it endearing. He’d probably sling his long arms around the shorter boy and hold him close and Baekhyun would be able to inhale that perfect warm scent that was his Happy Virus.

Baekhyun breathes in deeply, his heart already pattering excitedly in his chest. He opens the door, then opens his mouth to chirp out his favorite companion’s name.

“Chany—!”

The sound dies in his throat. He sees Chanyeol, but he also sees that his beloved Chanyeol is not alone.

Those gorgeous eyes are closed, curly auburn hair tangled with long, pale fingers of a single foreign hand. Soft sounds of kissing meet Baekhyun’s ears and he has to bite his lip to keep from crying out. Chanyeol’s arms are wound around his companion, broad hands wandering around shoulder blades. The other figure’s back is to the door, but Baekhyun doesn’t need the utterance of a name nestled among deep, pleasured moans as Chanyeol tilts his head back.

“Ah, Jongdae…”

Baekhyun swallows hard, frozen in place. He wants to run, but he feels glued to the spot. He doesn’t want to watch, not when someone else is kissing and at the perfect flesh he wanted to taste, but he can’t turn away. If Chanyeol were to open his eyes, he’d be caught.

Tears well under his lashes as the realization hits him, hard and unforgiving; his Chanyeol isn’t his at all. His Chanyeol is Jongdae’s.

That’s why he was so excited for EXO-M to come home.

This hurts much, much more than Baekhyun anticipated.
 

Baekhyun’s mind is a whirling mess, and he can’t even retreat to his own room to cool off. Silently, he decides to sneak to the small porch outside the building. He sits on the top step, staring up at the stars for a while until the tears he had been harboring spill out and blur them.

He had prepared for rejection, of course he did, but nothing like this. He wanted to be mad at Chanyeol, mad at Jongdae too, for stomping all over his heart like this… But Baekhyun knew there was no one at fault. No one but himself, maybe, for being too slow. There’s a soft clicking sound as the door to the building shuts once again. Baekhyun holds his breath.

“You’re going to smudge your eyeliner.” A voice rumbles behind him. Baekhyun turns around abruptly, trying to casually dry his eyes, and comes face to face with a smirking Wu Fan.

“It’s waterproof.” He points out, turning back to bury his face in his arms. Wu Fan’s smile fades instantly when he sees that his dongsaeng is not in his normally playful mood. The blond sits down on the step next to Baekhyun and nudges his shoulder. Baekhyun wobbles from the force, but otherwise remains unmoving. Wu Fan’s eyebrows knit in a frown and he gingerly rests his hand on Baekhyun’s back.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He asks, his voice a low whisper. Wu Fan hears the younger boy mumble something into his sleeves that he can’t quite make out. He leans in closer, the palm on Baekhyun’s back now rubbing slow circles.

“I was going to confess to Chanyeol today.” He says again, lifting his head quietly, his gaze glued to the cement steps.

“And it didn’t go so well?”

“I didn’t even get to try.” Baekhyun swallows the lump in his throat again. “He and Jongdae… They were…”

“Say no more.” Wu Fan mutters, tapping his fingers along Baekhyun’s back.

“Did you know?” The younger boy’s voice is a rough whisper.

“I had my suspicions. About you, and about those two.”

Baekhyun feels a flush bloom over his face and lowers his head into his arms again. He doesn’t want to cry. He’ll look so weak, so absurd, especially in front of the duizhang. He tries his hardest to quell his shaking shoulders, but to no avail.

Wu Fan wordlessly gathers Baekhyun into his arms and allows the younger boy to cling to his shirt as the first sob escapes. The blond his hair silently and comfortingly.

He cries for a few moments, allowing his disappointment and frustration seep out with his tears. He tries not to think about Chanyeol, but the more he tries, the more he does. When the shakes subside and Baekhyun feels like he has control over his vocal chords again, he sits up.

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun sniffles, drawing back and running the back of his hand over his eyes. “You just got back in the country, you’re probably exhausted and you have your own group to tend to…”

“We are one, Baekhyun-ah.” Wu Fan doesn’t remove his arm from Baekhyun’s back; instead, he slides his hand up to run his thumb over the nape of the younger’s neck. “I may not be your leader directly, but I’m still your brother.”

The gentle smile that Wu Fan offers him takes Baekhyun by surprise. He’s seen the leader smile many times; posing for photos, pleasing fan girls, talking with their sunbaes. But there was a genuine softness reflecting in his eyes that Baekhyun had never seen before. This wasn’t for a camera, it was for a broken heart that needed reassurance.

While nothing in the would or could replace Chanyeol in his soul, Baekhyun wonders if, maybe someday, he could find happiness with someone else. He nestles himself into Wu Fan’s embrace again and feels a smile flit along his lips at the elder’s contented sigh. Wu Fan’s chest is warm against his cheek and the fingers threading through his hair make him feel a little less lonely.