The paranoia was creeping up on Chanhee.

It wasn’t because he was a wimp or coward of any sort, he considered himself a man like any other, however, being stuck in a cramped room with one violent roommate definitely did not categorize as being his fancy. The blond nibbled nervously on his lower lip, fingers twirling around one another as he played by himself in awkward silence. Leave it to Changhyun, again, for defiling their room with his idiocy. It almost made no sense why there was so much trouble with the kid around physical things. Cooking was one thing (the kitchen was off-limits to the boy therefore) but an actual bedroom? Chanhee’s brows furrowed in confusion, lips jutting out in what seemed as a pout.

Thump.

His head shot up in alarm, eyes wide open and blinking at the sound in front of him. Byunghun stared back at him, dark chocolate hues so piercing, it had Chanhee mesmerized. As mysterious as the man was, Byunghun was highly photogenic and he was just plain handsome in real life. A blush dusted across his petite features, almond eyes shifting to the side of the bed as he bit his lip once again. Chanhee could feel his entire form shrink away in shyness; his fiddling increased as he began stammering like a fool. “B-Byunghun… I-I um… You know…” What was he even doing? Speaking when it was clearly awkward enough? And add to that, he was extremely stupid with his words, they were probably better left alone in silence. Chanhee squirmed, shoulders hunched as he stuttered again.

It was probably the air around them and although they shared little to no words in their rooms when they embarked on trips overseas, the silence was never this unnerving. It was his fault so that fact had Chanhee feeling a little guilty but shame on the both of them because neither were making the effort to patch things up; though it was more because of the fear that had been implanted in Chanhee’s gut and well, Byunghun was an enigma on his own. He was his own excuse.

That being said, no matter how thick the air was, Chanhee thought it might’ve been better if they both just… apologized. However, it took more than just one person to make a mutual arrangement. Chanhee glanced up quickly, eyes meeting Byunghun’s gaze for a second before he was forced to turn away in silence again. They were both grown men, twenty years of age, twenty-one coming, so why were they acting like immature kids? The blond tried again, this time keeping a steady stare at the other. His lips pursed into a fine line, eyes unblinking as he stood up to stand as an equal before the rapper.

“I just wanted to say… I’m sorry,” he started, voice still hesitant and scared, but he continued. “What happened this morning was my fault, I shouldn’t have blamed you. You were just doing your job and I… Changhyunnie just happened to be there at the wrong time so I can’t blame this all on him either.”

There was a scowl on Byunghun’s face that scared Chanhee a little too much because he’d seen it countless of times before someone got pummeled face first into the ground. The things that happened behind the scenes… Backstage to a whole new level, is what he’d describe, not that anyone else would know about it. His slender fingers were up waving about in defence, eyes widened and voice stuttering once more in hopes of putting a truce between the two of them – in case Chanhee had offended Byunghun in any way.

“D-Don’t get me wrong, I-I didn’t mean to take so long–”

“Don’t say his name like that,” the other deadpanned.

…Apologizing.

Oh.

Chanhee blinked.

“He likes you, you know? How stupid can you get? How clueless are you?” Byunghun spat, eyes glaring at the shrinking form in front of him.

Chanhee did consider himself a little slow when it came to understanding other people’s feelings about himself but he certainly wouldn’t say he was stupid. That term had offended him a little and it must’ve shown on his face with the way his eyebrows knitted and lips out in another pout. Byunghun laughed.

“I’m sorry, cutie, I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry for offending you,” he said. …Making Chanhee so confused at this point, he wasn’t even sure what was reality and what wasn’t anymore.

But that wasn’t the point, Changhyun apparently liked him but that was natural because they were bandmates and so close they were basically brothers. The golden-haired man blinked and cocked his head at the other as he tried to ignore the repulsive nickname – cute – his friend had given him. “You’re adorable, though, so I don’t blame him for liking you,” because I do too, Byunghun added in his head with a grin. But he didn’t share so Changhyun was gravely mistaken if he thought he could make a move on Chanhee and get away with it.

“I’m not adorable or am I cute!” Chanhee blurted out faster than he could blink. His face did pale in consideration after realizing what he had just done. He’d basically just denied Byunghun. Which could possibly mean his death as a result. However insulting those terms were, Chanhee wasn’t sure if he should’ve just defended himself in his head. That seemed like the better choice now that he stopped to think about it. It still didn’t stop him from muttering the last little bit to himself under his breath, thought. “I’m manly as hell…”

Though apparently Byunghun had heard which ensued another fit of laughter; Chanhee was, needless to say, annoyed by now. This was not a game, and while Byunghun was amused as hell, Chanhee wasn’t. He glared and raised a fist to punch lightly against the slightly shorter male’s shoulder. “Byung!!” he cried with a scrunched up face. “Don’t laugh! I’m serious! I’m a man, okay? I’m supposed to be manly!”

The laughter continued, making Chanhee feel feeble and useless by this point. The older stepped closer, chest puffed up in a challenging form as he clenched his fists. This was serious business, his manhood was being questioned; no matter how pretty he’d been told his face was, Chanhee is still a man and shouldn’t be degraded so easily. He still had all the parts a man should have so why should he be treated any differently? Byunghun was taking this too far! There were boundaries even as friends and the other really needed to know his place.

“More like a girl,” the rapper snorted in reply. Chanhee pouted. “A very pretty and cute girl. But I like you better like this.”

…Right.

So at least they weren’t awkward anymore but it didn’t mean Chanhee was over being called names. This was no better than the time in elementary school when all the kids ganged up on him because of his pretty features. But all that aside, he did wonder what Byunghun had meant by those words. What he had said almost seemed like a confession, but that couldn’t be, right? What Byunghun felt for him probably wasn’t the same as what Chanhee felt for him in return. They were polar opposites, non-existing in chemistry other than for the sake of their career.

Chanhee found Byunghun violent, arrogant, ignorant, and brash but also dashing, charming, gorgeous, and absolutely breath-taking. He was in love with him, but his love was also one-sided. 

A/N: I feel really sick so it's rushed and just not... good. But the muse struck me to write after so long so I had to finish something. Sorry for the delay and wait!