Please don't leave me
That's the problem
"Kris gege!" the blonde haired boy turn around to see his best friend since diapers callin him while runnin and wavin his hands in the air frantically like a hih school irl late for her first day of school. The boy waited until his best friend tao is in front of him. "hey there tao!" he reeted and ruffled the youner boy's hair making the latter glare at him for ruinin his neatly styled hair that took hours for him to style. "Argh! Not my hair! Do you know how long it takes to fix this and then what? You just stand there and ruin my perfect master piece!!!" Kris just chuckled at Tao's cute outburst.
"So you want to play like that eh? Well two can play that game" there was a mischievous glint in Tao's eyes. He was about to mess the hair of the slightly taller boy in front of his supposed victim stopped him grabbing his two hands in midair. "don't do that" Kris said with his husky voice as he let go of the boy's hands and leaned in. "I'll fix it for you" Tao was about to protest when kris stopped him "trust me" and tao just stood there letting his best friend fix his hair.
It's just a friendly action but Tao couldn't help but to blush at the action. Seeing Kris' face up close with a concentrated expression in fixing his hair. He can't help but to observe Kris features starting from his hair that shines when light is directed to it. Travelling down to his perfectly shaped eyebrows, one of Tao's favorite feature if you would ask him. Then looking at his eyes; those deep brown mesmerizing eyes that could melt anyone with just one look. His cute small nose and down to his pink plump lips that is always form into a smirk, anyone would kill for just to get a taste of those luscious lips. The way how his lips move and form in to a straight line due to concentration in fixing Tao's hair sends him towards the edges.
He knew his best friend is handsome. The fangirls and the large fan base that is growing larger each day is a dead give away for that fact. He's also talented in singing and rapping, good at sports like basketball because of his towering height, and not to mention smart that when you see him in his glasses and studying would make anyone want to devour him right then and there. Anyone who will see him would think he's perfect but Tao knows better. Being with Kris for a long time gives him advantage in knowing how the older man really is. He has this flaws that makes him a person and if you ask tao, those flaws make him much more loveable.
Tao never really paid to all these things because he thinks it's not necessary. Kris is his friend and he accepts him for whoever he is nothing more, nothing less, end of discussion. But now that his gege is so close to him, he couldn't help but to feel tingly inside. "there" Kris said swiping Tao's bangs as he back away and admired his work. "Let's go?" Kris ask Tao who's still in a daze. "Tao? Tao?" Kris snapped his fingers in front of the boy who seemed to be pulled back from reality. "eh?" Tao gave a confuse expression in which Kris found adorable. "stop spacing out Tao, I said let's go" the younger nodded as they walk. Tao walking ahead while Kris walk slower.
As Kris watch Tao's back walking ahead he let out a small unnoticeable smile while watching his best friend walk with a bounce on his steps. He always wonder why Tao puts on a stoic face for the world to see when really, behind that facade lies a cute and precious boy who has an undeniable love for gucci products. He remembered when Tao ask him to buy something and in the end of the day he was broke as he could ever be. He smiled at the memory hen he saw how they younger boy's eyes sparkle that time.
People may say that he is intimidating because of those eyes that seemed to pierced through their soul but he thinks otherwise. For him, Tao's eyes are one of his most beautiful feature. He loves how his eyes look at him with a certain sparkle when hes happy. How there is a certain glint when he saw the older boy and calls him gege. Even though Tao's eyesdon't show any emotons at times that make it looks like two bottomless pit he could still see through the younger no matter what.
"Gege hurry up! You're too slow. Don't walk as if you're modelling something" the younger boy puffed his cheeks in which Kris found really cute. "okay fine, it's still early. We have an hour until school starts and our walk only takes 10 minutes." true though the younger always insist being early. "Don't care" the boy replied. Kris quickened his pace to catch up to the boy but something caught his eyes. A dark purplish mark was on Tao's arms. Squinting his eyes he realize it was a bruise by the shape of it.
Grabbing Tao's arms causing the black haired boy to stop walking Krish examined his arm. "Whered you get this bruise?" he ask Tao who was quiet. Kris notice that Tao's skin color wasn't natural. Using his index finger he rubbed the surface only to realize Tao was using concealer. Fishing out Kris' handkerchief from his pocket he wiped Tao's skin to remove the substance only to reveal more bruises. Some are small almost unnoticeable while some are large and dark.
"What happened?" Kris doesn't like it when Tao is hurt. Something inside him is telling that he's hurting too. Ever since the two became best friends he was over protective of the younger. As he examine Tao he notice that his face is pale and also the color of his lips. "Tell me tao. What happened?" Tao couldn't look at his gege's eyes because he knows the moment he did he would give in immediately.
Tao was being bullied in his school but he wouldn't dare to tell Kris because knowing him for years he would tear them limb by limb. The reason? Because of Kris' fangirls. If Kris knew about this then he wouldn't stop blaming himself. He would just mope around telling him how useless he is for not protecting the younger. He remembered that time when it happened and it was not a great sight to see. Kris being disshelved with puffy eyes mumbling incoherent words, and would just suddenly break down and cry. It took weeks before he returned to normal and Tao made sure he won't be back to that state. He don't want seeing hi gege like that because of him so he endured every pain. And he couldn't just say 'oh nothing I was just bullied by your fangirls, but don't worry I'm fine just don't go back to your mopey state and blame everything to yourself' no Tao thought. That would be a big no for him.
"oh this?" I got them during Wushu practice. I made a few wrong moves that causes this. Don't worry it'll heal soon" he gave out a pain smile but it was full of sorrow. "Tao" the younger shook his head and give out a sigh "don't worry i'll be fine" he said as they continued walking.
He grab his fake glasses that covered half of his face. "Tao, please don't wear those glasses" the boy only look at him innocently "I know you're smart and all but please for pete's sake don't. You don't have to live up in being a nerd when you aren't." "so you're saying i'm not smart?" Kris ran his hand through his hair "you're smart both of us know that. But it would keep the bullies away" Tao look at him "don't think I don't know about them teasing you, and you could even be popular but you choose not to" Tao just give him a shrug "I'm contented the way things are" he beamed at Kris though both of them know it's fake.
Kris pulled Tao in a hug "then atleast let me be with you" Tao blush and he was thankful Kris couldn't see him. "I can't. If you hang out with me then your image would be ruined and besides your fan girls would kill me" his voice was muffled because of Kris hugging him. 'I don't care about my image" he Tao's hair "and besides I don't care about those superficial things. You're more important" he could feel his heart beating so fast he thought that it might explode along with his overwhelming emotions.
"besides, you're my best friend" Tao felt his world crumbling down along with his whole being. Those four words kept repeating in his mind. It feels like he's being stab by thousand of knives stabbing his heart over and over again.
He didn't realize he's in love with his own best friend over he years they have been together. He didn't realize how much it would hurt until now. It's much worse than the bullies hurting him physically and mentally, it's a lot worse than any pain he encountered. There is always this fire surging in Tao's heart. No not a real fire because he would have been dead long ago. It was the fire of hope and despair which was quickly extinguish by those four words he didn't knew he would hate sooner. 'you're my best friend' before it was one of the things he would love to hear coming from the older's mouth but now he clearly despise those words. It felt like chaind restricting him, telling him that it is what you'll ever be.
He knew liking his best friend was pathetic and it would lead him no where but he couldn't help it. Everytime he is with his best fiend he's the only person he could see. Tao is the kind of person to always check on things so he wouldn't encounter any big problems in the future. But he forgot to check one of the most important place that lead him in this mess: his heart. He hates himself for being careless that he let himself fall for his own best friend. And now he's facing the consequences of suffering and hurting because of it. He couldn't believe he let himself loose in this game. How he's drowning but he don't want to save himself.
Kris let go of the hug and patted his head. "you know you could tell me everything right?" Tao nodded "always remember that i'm here for you. I'm your best friend right?" to put more effects kris drummed his fist on his chest that made Tao smile. 'that's the problem. I'm just your best friend. Nothing more' he thought bitterly to himself. He let Kris walk ahead of him this time.
"yeah, I'm just your best friend. Nothing more, Do you know how much it hurts? Wishing everyday how I want to be yours but each time my hope is always shattered by those words" he quietly said to himself as a tear slowly fall from his eyes trickling down his right cheek. Wiping it hastily "yeah just your best friend" he bitterly smiled.
"yeah just your best friend" Kris heard the last part as he lookback at Tao who's staring at him. Walking back to the boy he ask him "is there something wrong tao?" the boy shook his head then run ahead "last one will treat ice cream" he heard him shout. He chuckled as he watch the boy figure getting smaller because of the distance. Running after him he watch Tao's back as he smiled fondly.
He couldn't help how his heart flutter when he think of the boy whom he often called panda. He already knew he have fallen in love with his best friend a long time ago and believe me it was hard for him. He's afraid that if he let his feelings het the better of him that he might drive tao away. He's contented with having him as his best friend even though it hurts him. Having the person he loves so close to him yet he couldn't have him. And right now watching tao, he can't help but to fall in love with his back. (yeah he's that madly in love)
As Tao reach the school gates with Kris following shortly behind he can;t help but give him a backhug. One of Kris' favorite if you would ask him. Holding tao closely to him securing him in his arms just give the feeling that Tao would be there forever. But he knows it's impossible because soon enough he would be in somebody's arms and the worstb thought is that, that somebody wouldn't be him. "I win gege! You'll treat me ice cream later!" he pouted "but you were running ahead of me" Tao rolled his eyes "that's why I won dummy!" Tao was the only one who could bring the best out of him "but you'll still treat me ice cream right?" he give tao one of his smile that is reserved just for him "alright" Kris wish that they could just stay in this moment forever but he knew it's impossible.
Soon enough Tao broke away from his grip that gives Kris the empty feeling. The younger bid goodbye as he left hurriedly to go to his classroom leaving him there standing alone. Somehow watching Tao walk away gives him the feeling that the boy wants to walk away from him. And that idea just pained him more than anything.
As Tao walk away he couldn't help but replay the action that his gege did. He knew that it's a friendly gesture and he knows bettern than to think more than that. But he couldn't help but to wish that things would turn out into something more. The thing that he's been wishing eversince.
He don't want to get used to Kris holding hiim like that no matter how secured and protected he felt because he knows later on he would be holding someone else in his arms and it won't be him. He have to let goo first because he didn't know if he could bear the pain if Kris was the one to let go first. He have to act quickly so it wouldn't hurt too much comforting himself. He let go of Kris' grip while quickly disguising his emotions. It needed a lot of strength to do that both physically and mentally along with courage. He knew it was a painful thing to do when he felt that pang as he look back seeing Kris standing alone. But he was already used to it. The pain and the sorrow that he was already feeling numb so what difference would it make? he ask himself as he proceed to his classroom.
~~
With school finishing quickly and students rushing to get out immediately Kris stood in the middle of the crowd looking for his best friend Tao. As the flow of people slowed down he decided to wander around to look for him. He passed a classroom where he heard voices talking.
"you confessed to Tao already? Dude are you mad?" It was Chanyeol's voice "yeah" the voice belonged to Kyungsoo or also known as D.O. "so what happened?" Kyungsoo sigh "he rejected me" 'it's okay. You already know that he likes somebody else right? And why did you like him anyway? Out of all the people why him? There's a lot of people here who can love you more than you could ever imagine" a bitter voice coming from Jongin aka Kai. Everyone knows that Kai likes D.O. but he's as dumb and naive as a rock to realize that. "I like him because he's Tao. I first saw him when we were in fresh men year. He was kind and cute. I don't even know why people hates him because there's nothing to hate about. Then one night when I was walking I was cornered by 3 guys then I heard him shout 'leave him alone' and he beats up all of them. I learned that he studied Wushu when I ask him how he knows how to fight and he was like my knight in shining armor. That moment I started adoring him, until now I guess. I know his answer would be no but it still hurts knowing I liked him for a long time. Now I learned that not all Knight in Shining armor will end up with the Damsel" Kris scoff 'you have no idea bro. Youll sink in shame when you learn how long I've love him' he continued listening "well we could still be friends, and i'll move on" Kris shook his head wondering why the heck is he standing in front of a door listening to their conversation and acting like some sort of a stalker.
He remembered this morning when he was about to walk tao to his next class when he saw D.O. asking him out. It took all of his will power not to storm inside and drag Tao away from him.
"I'm sorry D.O. but..." Tao trailed off "it's okay I understand. We could still be friends right?" Tao nodded "besides you like HIM right?" Tao blush "thank you for understanding D.o. ssi" D.O. shook his head "call me hyung. You're younger than me right?" Tao smiled "ne hyung." D.O. patted his shoulder "you better hurry up before someone snatch him away. And good luck with that" Kris don't know what he should feel right now. Happy: because tao rejected D.O., Sad that he already likes someone else or Disappointed because Tao didn't tell him anything nor given him any clues that he already likes someone else. And he has to hear it from coming from others and not from him.
Different emotions flooded him and he decided to just leave the two alone. His heart is breaking even though he knew Tao and D.O. weren't dating. Why? Because he realized that no matter what Tao like somebody else and that wouldn't change. it rips his heart apart knowing that there's a large possibility that it wasn't him. Just the thought alone was enough for him to cry. He always knew it's impossible for Tao to like him but there's still this part of him. Hoping, wishing, that maybe, just maybe there would be a chance for the two of them. But now he knows that it's already too late.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard noises and whimpering. "Please *cough* stop" he could distinguish that voice anywhere. "Tao" he said softly before dashing to the direction where he heard the noise.
Reaching an abandoned classroom he was nervous. Nervous that the person could really be Tao being beaten up. With shaking hands he opened the door and was on time seeing Tao getting beat up. He was being punched and kicked everywhere. He recognize the girls as her obsessed fan girls and some of the school jocks. Tao was full of bruises and there are blood coming out from his wounds. Worse is that half of his uniform was ed and his eyes were full of fear and pain while one of them is recording what's happening. Kris' sight darkened "what are you doing?!" he growled which startled everyone in the room.
"Kris?" Tao faintly ask as he close his eyes momentarily before opening them again. The tall boy didn't wait for any answers as his fist collided with one of the jocks face. A fight soon broke out as he continued to throw punches and kicks. Tao could only watch as his best friend reverted into a beast beating people up senseless. It's a lot more painful watching the only person he loved romantically being hurt and acting like this because of him. It felt like hours when really it had only been a few minutes when Kris finish beating them up.
kris look at the girls with his frightening gaze "don't ever touch Tao again got that?!" the girls nodded afraid if they make a move it will be their doom. "leave!" he shouted and the girls race to the door to get out immediately. But not before getting the video camera and crushing it.
As he heard Tao groan in pain he quickly rush to his side. "are you okay Tao? Are you hurt?" He face palmed thinking how stupid his question is. Of course he is! Are you blind or just stupid he ask himself.
Tao stood up as he walk towards the door limping but Kris didn't let him go. He hate Tao for letting them beat him up. He hates him for not fighting back. He hates himself for being so blind and stupid not to notice what is happening around him.
Grabbing Tao's wrist in a vice-like grip he made Tao face him. "why didn't you fight back?" Tao didn't answer "WHY?!" He shouted.
Tao only look down but he grabbed his chin harshly to make Tao face him "answer me tao?" Tao struggled to get out of Kris grip but it was futile knowing Kris is stronger right now because he doesn't have any energy left in him. When Kris saw Tao's eyes filled with tears he gently let go of him "why Tao?" his voice was a lot softer than before.
Tao look down as he wipe his tears before looking up to his so-called best friend 'it's because of you!" he tried hitting Kris but the blonde boy was a lot faster. Grabbing his hands and pulling him for a hug he ask "why?" Tao sobbed as he comforts him patting his back gently.
"because of you damn it!!!" he hugged Tao tighter "if it's about my image and popularity then don't. You're more important. You're my--" using the strength Tao has he push Kris away "there" he cried "it's that stupid hurtful line again!" Kris was utterly confuse "you want me to tell you everything?" Tao laugh humorlessly "guess what? I can't because of those lines."
Kris grew angry "what's wrong?! I'm your best friend, aren't I? But you know what? I don't feel it. I thought we're supposed to tell each other everything but you didn't! Don't think I didn't hear you and D.O. talking and he said you already like someone else. Tao, I felt betrayed" Angry tears were now flowing from Kris.
"You eavesdrop on us? Tao ask incredously "I overheard but that's not the point! You lied to me" *slap* Kris' head was tilted to the side while Tao's hand is in midair. "don't ever say things you have no idea. You want me to tell you the truth? You want me to tell you everything? FINE!" Kris look at Tao, surprised by his sudden outburst.
"I hate you! I hate how I couldn't see anyone else when I'm with you. I hate how my heart is beating out so fast when you're around. I hate how my stupid heart chose you out of all the people in this world to love. I hate myself for falling in love with you. Do you know how hard it is to fall in love with your own best friend knowing he won't feel the same? It can't be just like me suddenly saying 'hey Kris! Guess what? I'm in love with my own best friend and it's you' I wish things were easy like that but it's not" Tao stopped speaking for awhile to wipe his tears roughly.
Kris for the second time don't know what he should feel. Happy because his best friend feels the same or sad because he is the main reason why Tao is in this state.
"Tao" Kris called softly but was unheard by the younger "do you know how I cry myself to sleep because of you? I know you don't feel the same but still I fall deeper and deeper everyday. I badly want to save myself because I don't want to drown to all the pain and regret in the end. But you know what? No matter what I do or say to myself I can't stop from loving you. I hate it how I easily fall and now I can't get up" he gave out a force laugh "I hate myself for being in this mess. You're asking me why I let them beat me up? Because I thought that maybe I'll learn how to stop loving you. To know that pain is what I'll gain if I continued loving you. That maybe I'll wake up from this nightmare. And maybe it everything would just be a dream and when I wake up my feelings would be gone. But no! I have to be in love with you, my own best friend" he continued crying and was about to walk away when Kris grabbed him and harshly crashed his lips to Tao.
The kiss was forceful and harsh that cause some blood to draw out. With Kris kissing and Tao not moving. But soon enough Tao responded to the kiss as Kris let go of his grip and putting his arms around Tao's waist while Tao wrapped his arms around Kris neck as they passionately kiss. "They could taste a bit of iron because of the blood but both parties didn't care. It was a moment for the both of them to remember. The kiss wasn't sweet like Tao dreamed of nor romantic like kris hoped for but for them it's the perfect one. Their first kiss.
The two broke away gasping for air. "I love you" Kris said causing Tao to cry "please don't lie. It would just add more pain to the both of us" Kris cupped Tao's head as he wiped the tears that kept flowing. "Did I ever lie to you?" Tao was quiet "don't cry. It pained me to see you like that"
"Then why did you tell me this only now?" tears were still falling endlessly from Tao as he spoke. "I was afraid. Call me a coward but I don't care. I was afraid that I might drive you away. That you might push me away. I'm already contented with us just being--" Tao put his Index finger on Kris' lips stopping him from talking "please. Don't say those words that would hurt me" Kris gently removed Tao's finger. Not before holding his hand and kissing the tip of each finger.
"please Tao, don't learn how to stop loving me. Don't ever leave me or walk out of my life. Please love me. I don't care if I have to beg for it if it's the only way then I will. If it could stop you from leaving me then I will. If it's the only way you'll stay in my life then I will. I'll beg in front of the people of the world if I have to. I love you and I need you Tao. Please love me with all your heart. Because I will love you with all my heart and I have no plans in stopping. I love you Huang Zitao, please love me too" He kissed Tao's tears away which stopped falling "you don't have to beg because you already have it from the start. I love you too. More than you'll ever know. I've been hurt too much but the pain is worth it if you'll be by my side" he smiled as the two hug.
"ouch" Tao winced "are you okay?" Kris ask "yeah" Kris smiled "so... are we" Tao giggled when he saw Kris being flustered "yep" he said and Kris' smile brightened. "so... are we still getting that ice cream?" Tao innocently ask "of course. After we treat your wounds" Tao brightened up "let's go! What are you waiting for?" Kris just laugh at his boyfriend's cuteness. "okay, okay" the two left their school with smiles on their faces.
Things may not turn out the way you like but all of us manage to have a happy ending with the people we love. Take this two as an example that no matter how strong the storm is just hold on to that one special thing you have because in the end the sun will shine and everything will clear out.
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a/n: hey guys!!! It's my first one shot so yeah~
please leave a comment to tell me how you guys feel. It's my first time writing that sort of thing.
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