When the world turns dark

And the rain quietly falls

Everything is still

…

It was a lousy, rainy day and the streets were already flushed clean, just a few souls were rushing into their houses with their umbrellas as if they were made out of sugar and therefore could melt any moment. If one would be new to the city, they’d think nobody would live here. Only a few cars were passing by and the people of this city were certainly not made for rainy weather, albeit the city being quite big and inhabiting a lot of citizen.

However, this weather made the people feel dull as the grey and wet atmosphere was lingering in the air, although the scent of rain was sometimes refreshing and special. As droplets of rain were hitting the already wet and through water darkened asphalt, a pair of feet were shuffling over the streets, trying to find any destination as they didn’t know where to hide or where to go for now. The owner didn’t feel like heading home yet, maybe he was in the mood for a hot coffee at Starbucks or maybe just his favorite lychee bubble tea and as he was pondering he was also frustrated that his jacket had no hood, which he could just pull over his head. The hairs of his fringe hang damp into his face and every now and then he brushed it, annoyed, out of his sight.

The feet came finally to an abrupt stop in front of big glass windows of a store, which had a lot of electronic goods, CD’s, DVD’s and their TV’s exposed in the windows were playing some advertisements for KPOP groups and dramas - sometimes even old and new MV’s.

Ten years ago he belonged to this world of glamour and glitter and fame, ten years ago he was on top of the charts. Ten years ago every album he was part of was on top with a lot of sales (more his group could have ever thought of at the beginning), their goods were sold out well and he even has been part of a world tour.

KPOP, tours, concerts, music, his internet presence at twitter and Cyworld and variety shows would fill his everyday life and left him only with four hours a day of sleep. Maybe even less, thinking back about it now was weird as he compared how much free time and sleep he had gained now while working. His life felt now kind of empty.

Damn, was that a tough but remarkable time back then. While he was staring at the flat screen, he didn’t notice how the rain suddenly stopped, which had been pouring down with heavy droplets just a moment before on him and already had soaked him completely wet from head to toe. He looked down - no rain. But it was still raining around him as his eyes curiously searched around. He looked up and noticed a grey umbrella which seemed familiar to him. One of the goods for his band was a grey umbrella too, and it was slightly bigger than normal umbrellas were.

“So long ago, huh? …” a voice was speaking up to him as the flat screen now showed an old MV of his group. One of their greatest hits ever was playing. Fiction. His hands were in his pockets and he didn’t even take one quick glance at the stranger with the umbrella. Who in the whole world was still running around with a B2ST umbrella nowadays? His gaze fixed back to the screen and his hand moved up to the glass, touching it tentatively as he saw his own self, just ten years younger. He withdrew from the glass immediately as he touched the cold surface as if it would break any moment or if the MV would change in a matter of this second, afraid of seeing his fame fade again. Flashbacks were starting to show in front of his inner eye and stopped in the moment as the stranger spoke up again, this time even calling his name.

“Yoseob?”

He knew him? This person still recognized him? He turned his head a little to take a look at the person with the friendly heart, staying there with his umbrella so Yoseob wouldn’t get any wetter. His eyes widened a little and his mouth hung open. He could never forget this face, never forget this figure, never forget…. this smile. With a bright and shiny smile, and oh that eyesmile was just beautifully adding to that, his old group member Kikwang was the caring stranger who held the umbrella above both of them.

That smile. Yoseobs gaze flickered to the others lips and a few images were flashing in front of his eyes at the sight before trying to comprehend what was just happening and that it indeed was his old band mate Kikwang. His hair was dark again, he still wore guyliner, probably just a habit from back in the old days and he still had the nerdy glasses he wore ten years ago. “Wow. It really is you.” Kikwang said in a calm and soothing voice and oh, how he had missed this voice. They hadn’t seen each other in years! Incredible!

In fact, he hasn’t seen anyone of the Beast members since the band decided to stop and let it be. They were just occasionally writing each other mails, to check how they were but actually they were all mostly busy with their own lives, their own wives or own kids and Yoseob himself was the only one who still couldn’t go on, even though he had dated a lot of other people after that time. He wasn’t sure if his ex-members still were all living in Seoul or if they had moved away recently and if they still were doing something with music. He stopped checking the mails about five years ago. But Kikwang, he was here, right in front of him and Yoseobs features softened, his eyes smiling. “Haven’t seen you in forever.”, he said and they both shared a hug in which neither seemed to want to let go again.

“Why were you standing here in the middle of the street on such a rainy day?” Kikwang asked and was careful that the umbrella was keeping the rain away for both of them. “You’re already soaked wet, aren’t you worried of getting sick?” He continued.

Yoseob glanced back to the store and at the TV, to really figure out why he had been standing here and torturing himself with those memories once again. He just shook his head in response and glanced up at his old friend. “I don’t know anymore. I forgot where I was heading now.” A sheepish smile appeared on his face, he was still looking cute, although more mature and he still had those chubby cheeks which just complemented his face. Kikwang snorted and his arm wrapped around Yoseobs shoulders in a matter of a second, Yoseob just glanced up at him and they started walking. The man with the glasses proposed to him to come over to his for a cup of coffee, because he was living nearby.

Actually, he was living on the opposite of the street in a flat on the fifth floor and as he had been roaming around in the kitchen, having a cup of hot chocolate, he happened to look out of the window, mesmerized by the rain for a moment. He just had continued to watch the people until his gaze fixed on a person who seemed oh so familiar to him and then he recognized that it was Yoseob, so he just put something quickly on and rushed down to catch him, because he hadn’t seen him in forever and seeing him there made him happy.

Yoseob didn’t disagree to the proposal of going to Kikwangs for a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. He actually was feeling delighted about his offer and how Kikwang acted as if they just have met each other every day for the past years. He figuratively speaking felt a pile of stones falling off of his heart, making the situation easier for him and as they entered Kikwangs apartment, Yoseob just stood there for a moment, awed. His own apartment was quite big too, like Kikwangs, but it wasn’t as nicely decorated as the apartment he was just standing in.

Kikwang offered to take Yoseobs wet jacket, putting it away and came back with a small towel, handing it to his friend. Yoseob meanwhile took his shoes off and looked around, taking the towel thankfully and dried his hair with it. As he was walking around the living room, which seemed big, since it was simplified to two colours – mostly white and with red decoration-, he looked at all the frames which were displaying photos. Some were old, some showed their times in B2ST and then he stopped at a slightly bigger frame which differed from the others. It showed Kikwang with his wife at their wedding day. Yoseob narrowed his eyes and took the frame into his hands, taking a closer look. Right, he was married already. His finger slowly trailed over Kikwangs younger depiction.When the other stepped closer he put the frame back into its place again.

“She’s on a business trip, won’t be back until Sunday next week.”, Kikwang said and stood next to Yoseob, his hands in his pockets and his gaze carefully studying the other. “Kids?” , Yoseob asked meekly as he actually didn’t really want to know. Kikwang shook his head, looking down to the floor as his foot was moving back and forth, sliding over the carpet, his body was a little tensed as if he didn’t want to talk about this subject either. “Ani, we tried, but nothing happened.” Yoseob nodded, not looking at Kikwang and noticed that the latter felt uncomfortable with it. “I’m sorry.” Kikwang flashed a smile, shaking his head, “It’s fine…we were thinking of adopting.”

Yoseob nodded once again and turned away to look more around. He let out a quiet yet cute sneeze and Kikwang immediately left and lend him new and fresh clothes, so Yoseob wouldn’t need to walk around in his drenched ones anymore. After he changed they sat in the living room on the couch, Kikwang was still all the smile and shine guy from back then, gushing over about every little thing in his life and Yoseob just kept grinning at his silliness and how cute he was when he raved about something.

Suddenly Yoseobs heart clenched and the feeling of loneliness and depression came over him. His gaze fell to the white carpeted floor and he felt like he missed on a lot these years. Not only because he didn’t hold any contact with the others, but also because he felt like he didn’t try to achieve anything after they departed. Kikwang at least had his wife and a stable job, still making music, and had even a plan to get kids. But what does Yoseob have now? He had the constant feeling of failure in the back of his mind and the thought crept into his consciousness whenever it wanted to and in the moments he least needed it. He tried to start an own singing career afterwards but quickly gave up because he had the constant thought of not being good enough when he was solo. He just didn’t dare to do it alone after all these years of being together in a boygroup. Kikwang kept on going to talk about all the most random things, until he noticed that Yoseob was kind of dazed and probably not really listening anymore. He furrowed his brows and leaned in a little closer.

“Yoseob?”