I was tapping my fingers on table in the school canteen, feeling that I was becoming more and more irritated. Jihwa was so curious about what happened that memorable Saturday that she asked random questions about it now and then. Even though she heard this story thousand times already, she couldn’t somehow help herself. The whole situation was puzzling for her. Why? Because 3 weeks passed and Yoochun hadn’t shown a sign that this actually happened.

- But he said you’re the only crowd he needs, right? – Jihwa squinted her eyes, thinking hard.

- YES, HE DID SAY THAT – I gave her a deep sigh. – Will you stop it already?

- But something’s wrong! – she exclaimed. – He should treat you differently!

- Yeah, but do I have to remind you that besides this crowd thing, he repeats constantly that we are great friends. Do I have to spell it? F-R-I-E-N-D-S. End of the story.

- Hmm so do you think he doesn’t see a girl in you?

- Precisely – I sighed once again. – What should I do, Jihwa-ah? What should I do to make myself look more lady-like?

- Let us think during this class. Let’s hurry up: it starts soon – Jihwa stood up and rushed to the exit, but stopped in the middle. – Sanghwa-ah…

- Yeah?

- Maybe… Did you think about giving up?

- I did – I answered after a short while. – But it’s impossible. It’s too late for me, Jihwa-ah… And it is what scares me the most.

                     Jihwa looked at me with a worried face expression. I smiled sadly and shook my head. There is no use of denying the fact that this feeling for Yoochun will last. This has gone too far and there is no way back. I will have to bear with it, to put it simply.

                     As I was dressing up to go home, I was called by Yoochun. I thought he would like to change the meeting spot and come back by taking another path. Oh how wrong I was. I didn’t predict even in half the things he wanted to say.

                     Something was fishy from the start. Yoochun looked quite distressed and didn’t want to tell me anything before we were left alone. I gave him a surprised look, still not realizing what was to come.

- Sanghwa-ah… - he started quietly. – I can’t go home with you today.

- …why? – I asked after a short silence.

- I have plans with someone else. I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier.

- It’s okay… It’s not like I’ve made a reservation for you each day – I tried; I really tried to sound normal. – If that’s all, I’ll be going. See you tomorrow, songsaengnim.

- Sanghwa! – Yoochun stopped me. – One more thing.

- Yes?

- About that Saturday… - Yoochun looked really embarrassed. – I’m really sorry if I freaked you out. Actually, I wasn’t in a good shape then. I was after a serious fight with my girlfriend…

- Girlfriend, you say – I repeated emotionless.

- Yeah. I was a bit drunk and needed comfort. I hope it didn’t scare you – Yoochun scratched the back of his head.

- Not at all. Everyone has bad days – is it really my voice that is speaking? – I should be really going, sir. It’s getting late.

- Yeah, you should. Thanks for your understanding, Sanghwa-ah. I know I can depend on you – he smiled widely. – Bye!

                         I closed the door behind me. I honestly don’t know how I dressed up and returned home. Everything was unnatural, automatic. I couldn’t believe that I was so stupid. It should have been obvious from the start that he hadn’t meant what he said that day. And it should have been obvious that such a gorgeous man had a girlfriend. I bit my lips so as not to scream. I didn’t expect that pain would be so… unbearable.

                         The rest of the day I spent staring at the ceiling. I didn’t cry: I’ve never been a crying type. However, I would love to be the one. Maybe the tears would erase the burden that I felt. But the seconds were passing and that weight was growing slowly; it was suffocating me. I looked at the watch: it was 11 p.m. I sighed heavily as my mom was still nowhere to be found. Well, I knew exactly where she was at this hour, though, and wasn’t particularly surprised when my phone rang. Of course, mom was in the bar that was nearby; as smashed as a human being can be. Her drinking problem began when dad left us. She couldn’t cope with reality and thought that alcohol could solve her problems. However, it only got worse.

                  I put my jacket and made my way straight to the bar. The host looked at me apologetically and pointed to the corner. My mom was lying at the table, mumbling something.

- Why did you drink so much, mom? – I asked, rolling my eyes. – Let’s go home.

                           She shifted her eyes to me and looked at me blankly. I gave a dispirited sigh and took her hand. I put her arm around my neck and lifted her heavy body. I said “bye” to the host quietly and exited the bar. Mom drank a whole lot more than usual as she wasn’t able to stand and walk properly. It was really hard to lead her as she tripped a bit here and there. In the halfway mom tripped so hard that we both fell to the ground. I felt strong pain in my knees and cursed silently.

- Sanghwa-ah…?

                            My eyes opened widely, paralyzed from fear. No, not now. I hid my face behind my hair but it was too late. Yoochun stood above me, staring at me, completely surprised. His expression changed when he saw my mother: he pitied me. God, how I hated it. Why was my life so damn difficult? Did I do something bad in my previous life and now I had to suffer?

- Let me help you – Yoochun said after the silence had become unbearable.

- It’s ok, songsaengnim – my voice was shaking. – I’ll be fine.

                            He didn’t reply. Yoochun took my mom’s arm off my neck and put it around his own. Then, he extended his arm and helped me stand up. Honestly, I wanted to disappear. I wanted to die from embarrassment. Yoochun knew it was hard for me. Without saying anything, he started walking towards my home. After a while, I began to follow him. We didn’t speak to each other. As we got to the house, Yoochun helped me lay my mom to bed. Then, I showed him out.

- Thank you, sir – I said quietly.

- Don’t worry about it, Sanghwa-ah – Yoochun smiled lightly.

- Don’t tell anyone…

- Of course, I won’t – he cut me short, knitting his eyebrows. – Sanghwa-ah, we’re friends. I’ll help you anytime.

- Oh, yes, we’re friends after all… - I repeated, averting my eyes.

- Go to bed, ok? Take a rest. And as I say there is nowhere as good as in one’s own bed. We’ll see each other tomorrow. Goodnight.

- Goodnight, sir.

                            Yoochun turned around. I was watching him as he was walking away. So my bed at home is the best, huh? I’d rather be in the worst one. But with you.

- Silly girl. We’re friends. Just friends – I whispered to myself.

                    It was the first time that night. It was the first time that I cried over a guy…

It would be too easy if Yoochun liked her already, right? ;) Let's have a bit of drama. I hope you've enjoyed this chap :)