Since when?

Since when was he on this stage? Since when did he get this unpleasant feeling of emptiness. Tired, head down and eyes closed, he swiped his sweat, trying to calm down his heavy breath.

Suddenly, he felt a weight on his shoulders. He smirked, recognizing Kyuhyun almost climbing on his back. Playfully, he threw him down and escaped quickly. Going into the improvised game, Kyuhyun runs after him. He managed to catch him and make him fall as they could hear the fans shouting for a new ChangKyu moment. The younger sit on his lap and tickled him, enjoying the girls' screams around them. Both laughed, playing happily, coming back to childhood for a few minutes.

The silence came and they finally stood up still laughing as they came back to the center.

A bit in the back, he saw Yunho looking at him with a maternal smile. Behind his wall of indifference, he could easily find this bitterness in the leader's eyes. Like this unbearable feeling, he also tried to keep in his heart, locked under the armour they wear to survive.

            Since when?

Since when didn't he laugh freely? Since when didn't he forget his pain? Since when didn't he meet Yunho's eyes to find anything else than sadness and compassion?

He never really knew why, but he always saw those melting feelings in the elder look. No one ever talked about it. Keeping it as a taboo, a silent secret. As if the words themselves would destroy the world they tried with difficulty to keep up.

Since 'everything' happened, the leader expression was tainted by a strange kind of pity. He always thought they both shared the same suffering throw this hardship, but somehow, he realized Yunho seemed to assume the magnae's one was deeper.

Beside him, Kyuhyun stopped and hugged him tightly, trying to erase the sad and surprised look from his friend.

Changmin smiled, not even moving in front of his friend affective display, unlike he always has done. He even chose to tease the public and kissed his cheek, the others singers laughing