10:51 pm

The clock might just be the ugliest thing Jiyong has ever seen in his life. Everything else in Seunghyun’s apartment is clean lines, simple shapes, subdued colors. 54 pyongs of leather and marble.

Except for the ing clock on the wall over the kitchen sink.

It glitters. The hands are white but the rest of its surface is glittery neon green. It matches absolutely nothing in the kitchen. Jiyong is almost sure it matches absolutely nothing in the whole universe.

“But hey, my hair is bluish pink, what do I know?” he mutters to himself and wonders again how Seunghyun manages living by himself in this huge place. He has been here for 10 minutes and has already started talking to himself.

He walks over to the love seat where he threw his jacket before and takes his mp3 player out of the pocket. Puts on an old Epik High album and breathes a sigh of relief.

He sings softly and takes Jolie into his arms. Ever since they entered the apartment she keeps sniffing and circling everything in sight. She peed a little under the table in the living room (she favors that place in the dorm as well) but Seunghyun doesn’t have to know that, ever.

Jiyong looks into the space between the blinds and squints his eyes.

On sunny days you can see the Han river from the windows in the living room. Jiyong has been to Seunghyun’s apartment twice before. During his first visit he took time to peek outside every single window in the apartment. It is a habit he developed from spending days on end in studios without windows. Every time he's in a new place he searches for a window and looks outside.

“Just checking for saesangs ” he joked. Seunghyun’s eyes crinkled.

“They made base on the roof, actually” was the response and Jiyong couldn’t do anything else but let out a laugh.

Jiyong can’t see the river now, or the city lights, or anything really, because the fog is thick and envelops it all except for a couple of streetlamps.

Everything outside disappeared.

Jiyong can’t remember the last time he saw fog at this hour. He has seen it in the mornings, when after a whole night in the studio he is too tired to go to sleep so he goes to the gym room to run for 40 minutes and tire himself out completely. The treadmills are lined up in front of the wall made of windows and he glances outside every couple of minutes too see if its dawning. Dawn means it’s time for bed.

23:12 pm

He puts Jolie down and she whimpers. He smiles. He has to, she reminds him too much of Gaho when he was young.

He goes to the kitchen to heat up the food his manager bought before. The original plan was to make bibimbap in Seunghyun’s kitchen. Hyung likes it and Jiyong knows if he made it himself Seunghyun would make an effort to eat it. But plans change when schedule changes and he is tired and hungry and Seunghyun isn’t coming for another hour.

Jiyong eats and thinks he should maybe just leave. Yesterday, when they were all coming back to Korea after finishing another two concerts, he and Seunghyun talked about all sorts of things on the plane. The talk felt overdue somehow, like it belonged in a different time and place, like they should have had it ages ago. There were suddenly so many things he wanted to say to Seunghyun, about his new songs, about Jolie and other things too. He had a feeling Seunghyun felt the same. So they made plans for tonight.

But now he feels awkward, unsure. He knows that after the shoot Seunghyun was going to drop by Jaejoong’s new place for a party between friends. Seunghyun told him to come as well but he got out of it. Not his type of a crowd.

He washes the dishes after himself, gives Jolie water and carefully lays down on the couch. It’s a fancy piece by some fancy Swedish designer but all that’s going through Jiyong’s head is that it looks like it might break under him any moment now.

23:45 pm

Jiyong stirs when he hears Jolie’s high-pitched bark. He feels her stumble ungracefully from the couch. Her feet make a funny clacking noise on the marble surface.

He gets up right in time to see Seunghyun pick Jolie up. He comes closer and Seunghyun moves her around so they are both facing him.

“Hey hyung” Jiyong mumbles, still feeling a bit disoriented after his nap.

“Hi. I’m glad you came”. There is too much sincerity in Seunghyun’s voice and Jiyong has to break their eye contact. He looks at Jolie. Except that she’s looking at him in the exact same way and now he’s never going to look at her without thinking about Seunghyun’s eyes, damn it.

“So what do you think?” Jiyong asks, distractedly.

“About your dog?” Seunghyun laughs and Jiyong wonders how much he had to drink. “Looks innocent enough on the outside, but I’m sure she will be taking after its owner soon enough”

“What do mean hyung? Gaho turned out pretty good, don’t you think?” Jiyong’s tone is playful.

“Gaho is a devil who chews on my furniture.” is Seunghyun’s dry response.

“That was that one time hyung, one time!”

“One too many” Seunghyun moves his face so his nose almost touches Jolie’s. “And you, cutie? Do you have such plans too?”

Ji wants to take a picture of them and keep it to himself.

“Have you eaten?” he asks instead and goes into the kitchen. Seunghyun puts Jolie down and follows.

“Yeah. Could you pour me some water?” Jiyong grabs two glasses and fills them.

“So how is it? Jaejoong’s new cafe?”

“Small but cozy. I like it. He’s so excited about it that it nauseates me. Or maybe I’m just envious.” Seunghyun sounds contemplative.

Ji hands him the glass. “Of what?”

Seunghyun takes a sip. It’s a long moment before he answers. “I don’t really know. Of the fact that he took on a new project and is enjoying himself? I think I’ll be excited about my movie when the filming ends. For now it feels like a chore.”

Jiyong’s eyebrows furrow and he doesn’t know what to say.

Seunghyun notices the expression and continues. “Maybe not a chore but... Something you are so used to doing you don’t really think about it. A routine. Like cleansing your face before sleep”.

Jiyong understands, he thinks. He isn’t sure if he’d ever compare working on his album to unclogging pores but ...yeah. Routine, that he knows.

“You know what, never mind” Seunghyun starts but Jiyong interrupts.

“No, I get it. It’s sad, really.”

“That’s just the way life is. Jaejoong is excited easily, anyway. He’ll get into one of his brooding moods soon enough.” Seunghyun states, exasperated.

Jiyong chuckles and turns away to put his glass into the sink. His eyes pause at the clock.

“I meant to ask you about that”. He points at the wall.

“It wasn’t here the last time. Where the hell did you get it?”

Seunghyun covers his mouth with his hand and snickers. Jiyong briefly notes that his hand looks completely healed (thankfully) and asks “What? Hyung, what?”

Seunghyun’s whole face is smiling now.

“I just knew you’d notice it immediately. It was a gift, from John. But it was meant as a joke. I complained to him that all the fan gifts I get are either wine or cologne. The next time we met he gifted me that cheap clock wrapped up in a paper worth more that the present itself”.

Jiyong freezes at the mention of the director, which in turn makes him feel stupid. Lee a cool guy and Seunghyun likes to talk to him a lot. And that’s all.

“He’s your fan boy too, then” Jiyong says teasingly and is taken aback when Seunghyun’s booming laughter reverberates in the air. He hasn’t heard his hyung laugh like that in a long time.

“That’s what he calls himself actually. T.O.P.’s biggest fan boy” Seunghyun’s amused face disappears from Jiyong’s line of sight when the older man kneels down to take Jolie into his arms again.

Jiyong hasn’t moved a muscle yet. There is a distinct lack of sound in his ears, now that Seunghyun’s laughter stopped. He closes his eyes and turns so he’s standing in front of the sink again. What the hell is wrong with me he asks himself. He opens his eyes and sees that ugly clock. He wants to take it off the wall and throw it into the river.

And then it hits him. He’s jealous.