“Not that. I need more passion Sehun.” Luhan exclaimed

They were at the shooting place which was in the middle of the highway. They have been working for almost three hours from 4 a.m, including set up the equipment. As planned, the shooting consisted of three different parts and the highlight concept was “lost”. Sehun’s performance was pretty good until now, when the most important part was taken.

Luhan requested him to walking on the road, looking “lost”, but not just any lost, love lost. And that how the model was in trouble. He tried every single facial expression he knew or imagined but nothing satisfied Luhan. The photographer kept yelling either “Not enough” or “I want more”. After twenty minutes without success, Luhan tore his hair out and groaned in frustration.

“Ten minutes break. And Sehun, you come here.”

The younger boy let out a long sigh and stepped forward, he didn’t have energy for this. He glanced at Suho for help. The manager quickly rushed to Luhan, flashing his usual warm smile.

“Don’t be too tough Luhan ssi. It’s not that bad.”

The Chinese boy scowled at Suho, made the manager step back a bit.

“It’s my responsibility to be tough. Now if you excuse me, I want to talk to the model.”

Luhan stood up abruptly and took Sehun’s hand, dragging the younger away. They stopped when Sehun pulled out his hand from Luhan’s grip, rubbing his wrist in pain. Luhan turned back to face him.

“I know you’re a well-trained model but not anything will be exact as what they told you. Think about your last heartbroken, let your feeling take control.”

Sehun just stared at Luhan’s face as the latter spoke in a one go. He felt hurt, not because the Chinese boy was lecturing him but the fact that after this job was done, he didn’t have chance to see the honey-brown hair boy standing in front of him any more. He didn’t want to memorize any of this but his eyes betrayed him. Sehun quickly turned around, hiding his teary eyes.

“Let me figure it out alone.”

Then he walked back to his chair in the preparation area. Luhan sighed, he knew those words were quite crude to Sehun but what choice did he have. This was his job, he couldn’t let his feeling into it. The photographer didn’t realize Jongin’s presence until the stylist pressed a cup of ice water against his cheek. It caught Luhan off guard and he stepped back a bit before took the cup from the younger boy.

“Don’t worry” Jongin held up his hand “I’m not hitting on you again.”

“Well thanks.” Luhan chuckled, suddenly found the tan-skin boy pretty cute.

There was an awkward silence because Jongin kept open and shut his mouth several times, trying to say something but ended up playing with the hem of his jacket.

“You know” the younger boy finally cleared his throat “Sehun hasn’t been in love before.”

“What?” Luhan gasped “Are you serious? He’s twenty two…”

“And never in love before. Yes it’s true. He didn’t have time for a relationship.” Jongin stated firmly.

The Chinese boy crossed his arms, tilting his head aside in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Jongin took a gulp from his own drink, he didn’t know it was a good or bad idea to tell the photographer about his best friend’s personal life, but he had gone this far, he couldn’t stop.

“Sehun had a hard life in the past. His father abandoned him and his mother since he was ten. I met him the first time when he was working for a café shop at the age of fifteen. He was a cheerful boy, always smiled and kind to everyone, until the day he found out about his mother’s sickness.”

The tan-skin boy paused to recall the painful memory of his best friend’s past, he wished he could help Sehun more but so little get done.

“He gave up college to apply for a job in the agency I was working back then. He wanted to earn money as much as possible to pay the hospital fee. But his mother’s sickness was beyond remedy, she passed away last weekend.”

“You know what, the concept ‘lost’ fits him well cuz he knows how it feels better than anyone else. But ‘love lost’ is on the other side.”

Jongin turned aside, his eyes met Sehun’s as the model glued his look on a particular person. The stylist chuckled.

“Anyway, I should go check on my buddy.”

Luhan didn’t respond, he was deep in his thought about the story Jongin had just told him. The stylist was about to turn on his heels then he stopped and called out for the older one.

“Hey, Bambi. Want my advice?”

Luhan hesitated a bit but ended up nodding his head.

“What is it?”

“Tell Sehun to look at you while shooting. Not the camera. You.”

The younger boy walked away before Luhan could say anything. He was dazed for a second, trying to figure out what implication in Jongin’s last sentence. The conversation he had just had explained everything. Why Sehun always had the sadness in his eyes. Why the model put so much effort that made him looked older than his real age. Why Luhan felt there was an invisible wall around Sehun’s heart that he couldn’t break through. The younger boy forced himself to be strong to protect the insecure soul of his own.

Luhan turned his head to Sehun’s direction. The model was talking to his tan-skin friend, his face was less tensed than ten minute ago which made Luhan kind of relieved. He slowly stepped to the shooting area, clapped his hands to gain everyone’s attention.

“Okay, time’s up.” he checked his hand-watch “We only got 45mins before they remove the barrier. Let’s finish this one!”

The staff quickly fanned out and back to their position. Sehun stood up from his seat and put on his jacket. The sunray hit his face as soon as he stepped outside the shadow, made him squint in annoyance. The talk with Jongin previously didn’t help him a lot, instead, it left him more curious about how to be heartbroken as the stylist kept saying “Don’t worry, just do exactly what y Bambi tells you.”

The view of Luhan adjusting his camera under the sun caught the model’s eyes. It was the most beautiful scene Sehun has ever seen in his life. Luhan was perfect and perfection was definitely not something for him.

The younger boy jumped out of his skin when Luhan called out his name and signaled him to his direction. Luhan scanned him from head to toe before confessed.

“I don’t know if it even works but when we’re shooting, don’t look at the camera, just look at me, okay?”

Sehun absolutely lost his ability to talk cuz he couldn’t figure out what method the photographer was trying. He found it awkward as his mouth was open but there was no sound coming out.

“Trust me!” Luhan whispered and gripped his hand slightly.

That was when Sehun’s mind officially stopped working. He walked back to his spot in the middle of the road, glued his eyes on Luhan. He felt hurt again. The model didn’t understand why his heart was clenched tight whenever the thought of being away from Luhan flashed through his mind. Three days with the Chinese boy was not enough. But Luhan already had someone else in his heart, so there was no place for him. Why I need him anyway, this question was popped out of nowhere, sent a sticky lump down to the model’s throat. The younger boy gazed at Luhan fiercely and he knew the answer that he had denied the whole time.

Sehun unconsciously turned aside, tilted his head backward to prevent a tear streaming down but it’s too late. He quickly wiped it off with the back of hand and bowed down, bidding an apology.

“I’m sorry.” he came up with a lie “Something stung my eye.”

Luhan slowly put down the camera, didn’t believe he had just captured the moment he’s been looking for. Sehun totally had just exposed the feeling of a broken heart, but not just like a break-up, it was the feeling when you realized you loved someone but it’s too late to be with him.

The Chinese boy was frozen in his position until Suho waved his hand in front of him to snap him back.

“Luhan ssi, shall we continue?”

Luhan startled a bit but then his lips formed into a big smile.

“No, I got what I want. We’re done everybody. Good job!”

Sehun stood dazedly for a second, one minute ago he was prepared to be scolded for his sudden move and now, Luhan claimed that the shooting was finished. He was about to ask one more time if he misheard anything but Jongin rushed to his side and dragged him into the shadow.

They started packed up the equipment as fast as possible because it’s almost 8a.m which meant the highway would be crowded with vehicles in a short time. Sehun didn’t have a chance to talk to Luhan until they got back to the studio.

“Luhan” the model tapped the Chinese boy’s shoulder “Are you sure you got the picture?”

The photographer beamed widely before grabbed Sehun’s hand, heading to the computer. He pointed the photo on the screen, crossed his arms and requested.

“Tell me what you see in this.”

Sehun’s jaw dropped. This was the first time he saw himself in this figure. The sunlight sure made the light effect perfect on his body.  Sehun leaned in to have a closer look at his own face, he could see the pain in there. Did Luhan know about my feeling? Sehun suddenly thought, glanced over his shoulder to see the content in Luhan’s smile.

“Well?” the photographer raised his voice.

“I don’t know” Sehun scratched his neck “But I think I did a good job.”

Luhan let out a giggle, giving the younger boy a smack on his arm.

“You should be proud of yourself. You did great.”