This I can't deny
Stumbling Denial
Games, changes and fears, When will they go from here? When will they stop?
This is wrong
Everything connects with him are wrong
He just pities you because you’re alone
Haha…stupid Minseok
I believe that fate has brought us here, and we should be together babe
But we're not
I watch the scene from my favorite corner of the café
Sitting on one of the stool in front of the long table
In front of me is the decorated wall, but a feet on my left is the glass window facing the street
I can see but people won’t see me
Though I’m not stupid enough to show my face clearly
That’s why I’m wearing a hat and glasses
Sipping my blueberry smoothie while my eyes tracing the familiar people outside
It’s him, Luhan
Queuing with Sehun on the bubble tea stall across the café
It’s an unpleasant coincidence
But I’m glad they didn’t see me
I just want some peace and calm for the moments
Though there’s an aching feeling on my right chest
I don’t know which one better
Being here watching Luhan and Sehun being close with each other
Or being in the dorm where there’s no place to run and how much I tried to keep my face calm
I should’ve known that being a loner its better
I don’t need to care nor hope
Just giving my team member a simple chat and pretends to hear them tells their stories
Giving a pat on their back it’s enough
And I can go on with myself
But he’s giving me so much hardship
Whenever I turn around, he’s always there
Smiling
Or pulling me to play soccer with him
Because the other prefers to rest, or doing other things
And I happened ‘Can’ play soccer
He caught me playing the ball on the dorm
And since then he makes me his Soccer playmate
But I won’t be like this if it’s just because of that
Luhan invaded my life too much
I’ve spent 2/3 of my days with him and other members
But Luhan still taking the last 1/3 too
Except when I’m sleeping
Thankfully my roommate in China is Tao or Chen
Not him
But when I’m at Korea
I’ve to face him day and night
And what I hate the most
Is that I’m enjoying each and every moment of it
And I’m feeling ashamed to myself that I ever think that he has feelings for me
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you, and I’ll keep my cool, but I’m fiendin’
Luhan is a nice and playful person
And he likes to touch everyone
Whether is whispering too close, holding hand and waist
He’s like that
And I couldn’t blame him because he’s just being himself
And I know better about my own self
I hate being clingy
I hate being dependent
But most of all I hate to hope
That’s why I close myself
I don’t want people to be too close
Because I’m afraid of what’ll happen if my own barriers falls down
And that’s what I’m feeling right now
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