*So, as a warning, this can be kind of sad.*

He sat there, alone, looking at the old album, tears running down his face. He still couldn’t believe it, even after all this time. It’s been years but it still affects him the same way. Why did this happen to them? What did they do to deserve this? Where did they go wrong? Where did he go wrong? He sighed, closing the book harshly and throwing it on the table as he took another drink of beer. It was his third today. He was trying to curb the pain, but it wasn’t helping, and he knew that. He wiped harshly at the tears in his eyes as memories flooded his head.

-

“Changmin-ah~” Yoochun smiled, “Has our maknae eaten?”

“I’m fine, Yoochun-hyung,” Changmin replied shortly, sinking into the couch.

“But Min… You have to eat,” Yoochun’s smiled fell.

“I said I’m fin…” Changmin spoke once more.

“You’re not fine! You are worn out and you haven’t ate!” Yoochun interrupted, “Please? For hyung?”

“Fine…” Changmin sighed, smiling at his hyung’s concern.

-

“Changmin-ah, come play soccer~” Junsu said as he skipped into the room.

“I don’t want to hyung,” Changmin replied.

“But… Changmin,” Junsu began, getting a look of disappointment on his face. Changmin looked on as Junsu began slightly pouting, unconsciously of course. That was just how cute his hyung was.

“Alright, hyung, only for a little bit,” Changmin replied, getting up and dragging Junsu outside.

-

“Changmin-ah, have you seen my mirror?” Jaejoong called from the bathroom.

“No!” Changmin shouted back.

“Can you help me find it? It’s really important~” Jaejoong said.

“Sorry hyung, I’m busy,” Changmin replied, typing on his computer.

“Oh… okay,” Jaejoong spoke, his voice showing his emotions. Changmin then remembered that the mirror had been a gift from his grandmother before she passed away. Changmin got up, sighing.

“Do you remember the last place you had it?” Changmin asked, walking in to the bathroom to see Jaejoong looking furiously through everything.

“No~” Jaejoong replied.

“I’ll help you find it, hyung,” Changmin began, putting his hand on Jaejoong’s shoulder, “We’ll find it for sure.”

-

“T-They’re what?” Changmin asked Yunho, falling onto the ground in shock.

“They… They’re suing SM, Changmin-ah,” Yunho replied, placing his hand on Changmin’s shoulder.

“But… What… What about us? What about TVXQ? What about the fans?” Changmin fired off questions as if he was breathing his last breath of air, “W-What about m-me, hyung?”

“We’ll… We’ll get through this, Changmin,” Yunho replied shortly, not knowing what to say. His voice dropped to a whisper, “We’ll get through this… I hope.”

-

“STOP IT!” Changmin shouted loudly, throwing the now empty bottle of alcohol to the opposite wall. It hit the wall with a thud before shattering and falling to the ground. He tried to catch his breath as the tears kept coming out. He didn’t know why it hurt a lot today; maybe it was seeing them on the websites that did it. He slipped onto the floor, scrunching his knees in and wrapping his arms around his legs. He rested his head on his knees as he began to cry more. Suddenly he felt arms surround his frame and he was yanked into a chest. A hand slipped to the back of his neck, cradling his head into the warm chest that his face was buried into. He knew instantly who it was. It was the only person who ever saw him like this, when the pain got too much. It was now the only person he had left in this world from that time… before everything happened.

“Changmin-ah… Why didn’t you call me?” Yunho asked quietly, tightening his grip on the younger man. Changmin didn’t reply, just wrapped his arms around Yunho and cried harder, “Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad, Changmin?”

“I don’t know, hyung,” Changmin sobbed into Yunho’s shirt, “It just… I’m so tired of everything!”

“I know… I know,” Yunho replied, rubbing circles into Changmin’s back, “No one is here, Changmin. Just us. You can let everything out.”

“I miss them, hyung,” Changmin began, “I hate not being able to see them. I hate not being able to talk to them. I hate everything about this, hyung. It’s been years, but it still hurts. I hate not being able to show I miss them. I hate it, hyung!” Yunho sat there, letting Changmin letting him spill his feelings out. Yunho’s eyes filled with unshed tears; he had to be strong for Changmin. Changmin’s always been strong for him the rest of the year; this was his time to pay Changmin back.

“I miss them too Changmin,” Yunho said quietly, “I promise… Everything will be okay. Everything will be… okay. Just… Please, stay strong for me? Don’t let me do this on own. I need you, Changmin. I can’t loose you too.”

“I don’t want to loose you either, hyung,” Changmin’s hold tightened on Yunho, “A-Are we going to be okay?”

“We’ve been fine, we will continue to be fine,” Yunho replied, “We will continue to be fine until the day comes that we can stand on that stage as five. Until we can stand as five in front of the Cassies; in front of everyone; in front of the whole world.”

“I want to believe you…” Changmin muttered.

“Believe in me, Changmin,” Yunho replied, “If there is nothing else to believe in, believe in me and I will do the same.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Changmin said quietly as his tears finally dried out.

“No, thank you, Changmin,” Yunho replied, “Thank you for giving me something to believe in. I would be nowhere without you.”