My Gift to You

Chapter 1

Kyuhyun stepped out of his car with a deep breath, closing the door behind him with caution, letting the night air settle onto his skin, a slight chill, atleast in comparison to the blistering of the summer, a clear indicator that autumn was on its way. The thought made Kyuhyun smile. Autumn was on its way...Yesung would be happy. The older man really liked when the leaves fell and the air became crisp. Kyuhyun himself had found new appreciation for the season, though it was still mainly due to the fact that Yesung liked it and well...he liked anything that made Yesung happy, so he was more than game.

It was that temperament that led Kyuhyun to be in his current predicament; standing in a park at 2 o’ clock in the morning, the area dark and nearly ominous, except for the large willow tree he was parked under, the moonlight shining through the branches and leaves, creating a rather exquisite pattern on the paved ground, bathing Kyuhyun in a soft glow, even if he was unaware of it, instead personally focusing on his surroundings. He was parked at the middle of car park, made in a clearing near the Han River, the outline of the River’s path and accompanying trails and decorations in his eye sights, even seeing the large expanse of water, and to his other side, the more botanical aspect of the park, Kyuhyun noticing a few late night joggers but the area seemed to be mainly deserted, only a few cars scattered about the area, the lighting lamp coupled with the moonlight, atleast taking away some of the darkness, Kyuhyun pulling his light coat tightly against him, pulling down his hat when he saw two people walking in his vicinity, then laughing at himself when he realized that he was acting paranoid, the two people not paying much attention to him anyway. Really  why would they even think Super Junior’s Cho Kyuhyun would ever be in a fairly dark park unaccompanied at 2 o’ clock in the morning during a promotion period anyway? Clearly no one in their right mind. Why was he there again?

Oh right! He was here because Yesung apparently summoned for his presence. It was quite clear that Kyuhyun had a bit of problem with the manner in which his presence was requested. After a long day, shooting for radio star and some schedule at KBS, and a little shopping, he had returned to the dorms hoping to spend the rest of the evening suffocating Yesung or better yet, smothering the older man in kisses, especially since it was  technically the day before his birthday. His great plans were ruined however when he arrived home, only to find their [well Yesung’s , but he liked to think it was ‘theirs’] room vacant, except for Yesung’s pet turtles staring up at him from their enclosure, their owner nowhere in sight. Kyuhyun found it strange that Yesung was not back yet, even though it was past midnight, but supposed that Yesung just had a late schedule or had decided that he wanted to spend the evening with his parents, which was not exactly rare with him, though he normally had good enough manners to inform Kyuhyun of his absence, which he had not done thus far. Kyuhyun pulled out his phone then, ready to call him, but decided against it, not wanting to disturb him. It was weird but somehow Kyuhyun and Yesung had not been able to adopt the habit of regularly checking in with each other. Kyuhyun was always surprised when he realized that he and Yesung rarely called each other or behaved as most people in relationships did, not utilizing the allure of modern technology. It was not as if Kyuhyun didn’t wish to constantly hear Yesung’s voice,  just that he wanted to hear it too much. If they started that way, it would never end. He supposed that is why they both silently agreed to keep their distance in that regard.

Kyuhyun had to contend himself with waiting for the older man, settling on their bed, taking his position against the wall, flickering with his phone as he waited for him, all the whilst pretending that he wasn’t. He eyed the door with excitement, his teeth in annoyance when he realized that it was only Ryeowook coming to greet him. He didn’t care much to speak to him in truth, disappointed that it was not Yesung before him, but then could tell that Ryeowook was in glee over something or the other, dashing towards him with a happy smile and speaking rapidly. It took Kyuhyun a good minute to tell him to slow down, Ryeowook only taking a breath before he was nearly squealing; something about Yesung and it will be so sweet. Kyuhyun was about to strangle him when Sungmin entered the room, laying hand on Ryeowook’s shoulder, the smaller man, smiling at the gesture, then shifting to the side, so that the resident aeygo king could make things more clear. Kyuhyun was grateful that he had arrived just then, positive that he would have killed Ryeowook if the eternal maknae had not calmed the hell down and tell him where Yesung was. It seemed Ryeowook didn’t value his well being as much as Kyuhyun thought. Instead Sungmin took over the reins, smiling as he told Kyuhyun that Yesung wished for him to meet him at the park near the Han River at 2 o’ clock, and he was to dress warmly. Kyuhyun was rather confused then, asking Sungmin what on earth was going on. Why hadn’t Yesung told him that they had something on? Why did he want to meet him out in the open that late at night? Was Yesung feeling alright?

He bombarded Sungmin with questions, the older man simply letting him ramble as if he was speaking rhetorically, Ryeowook grinning ear to ear, until Kyuhyun became frustrated and insisted that someone tell him what the hell was going on. Sungmin, to his horror, just patted his head and told him that love had made him even more unhinged, which was actually quite sad. Kyuhyun glared something quite fierce, Sungmin finally reacting as he should, pulling back lightly, and smiling sheepishly at Kyuhyun. Ryeowook, no longer able to contain his excitement, gushed that Kyuhyun should be excited about spending the evening with Yesung, before Sungmin effectively covered his mouth, Ryeowook pouting underneath. Kyuhyun was thoroughly frustrated, ready to murder the two before him and kill Yesung for not just telling Kyuhyun himself that morning. Sungmin seemingly tired of the games, seriously informed Kyuhyun that Yesung requested his presence at the park at the given hour and they were told to ensure that Kyuhyun dressed warmly and comfortably, but not to let him leave the apartment if he was too tired or in a bad mood. Sungmin also informed before Kyuhyun could interrupt, that Yesung did not give a reason specifically and he had no idea why Yesung chose the location or the time, stating –‘He was just being Yesungie hyung,I really don’t know’-shaking his head in resignation, Ryeowook in the meantime, suspiciously avoiding eye contact with Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun was too annoyed with them both at the time to continue arguing; instead flopping down on Yesung’s bed, trying to figure out what on earth was going on with the older man. Ryeowook only saying that he better get a move on if he wanted to meet him, Kyuhyun sighing in annoyance, pulling himself off the bed, grumbling that Yesung was a pain in his side and he wanted to strangle him for being so oblivious, that it couldn’t occur to him to call Kyuhyun instead of leaving those two idiots to inform him of his clearly insane plans. Ryeowook took no offence to Kyuhyun’s continuous grumbling, being quite familiar with the maknae’s habit, instead just giggling that despite the slew of complaints released from him, he was speedily gathering his things, clear that he was in a rush to meet Yesung anyway.

 Ryeowook watched in amusement as he picked up his things and hurried to his room, looking through the cupboards for clothes, then dashing to the shower. Ryeowook stood at the kitchen counter, waiting for the kettle to whistle, mixing a cup of coffee for Kyuhyun. The kind hearted eternal maknae was sure Yesung would not appreciate him letting Kyuhyun leave the dorms potentially sleepy. The least he could do was ensure that he had something to keep him alert, Kyuhyun having to drive to the location. In no time Kyuhyun was rushing to exit the dorm, dressed in a pair of dark blue nearly black jeans, a long sleeved blue shirt , pulling a baseball cap over his, heading to the door in haste. Ryeowook had to bodily stop him, insisting that he drink the coffee and put on a light coat atleast. Kyuhyun seemed likely to ignore him, except that Ryeowook pleaded that Yesung would kill him if Kyuhyun caught a cold or feel asleep at the wheel. Kyuhyun glared but swallowed the coffee, a drink that Kyuhyun had no real love for, so fast that Ryeowook though he would burn himself, pulled on a soft light coat and headed to the door, grabbing his car keys on the way out. Ryeowook watched go with a smile, thrilled with the knowledge that he had. He truly wished Kyuhyun happiness.

There Kyuhyun was, standing in the carpark, like a fool waiting on his idiot beloved [shouldn’t  that be boyfriend? ...no!...that’s weird okay...just the person I love..], contemplating the ways he would kill him if the older man for causing him so much stress and just sort of annoyed that he had not seen him yet. Kyuhyun wanted to see him! He knew it was sort of pitiful and probably even embarrassing, but at that point he just wanted to see Yesung. It was not as if he was clingy, well not exceptionally clingy, more that he was so in love he found it hard to be away from him, especially with the knowledge that he would soon be parted from him, atleast for a little while. He didn’t think he was wrong to want to have as much of the happiness he could get whilst Yesung was beside him. He had it tempered to deal with schedules and activities and was proud to claim that he was not so reduced as to be incapable of being separated from Yesung, simply that he just rather be in the man’s presence when he was given the time. It was for that reason he was particularly annoyed. The time he was standing aimlessly in the carpark, could have been spent cuddled together just sleeping and he would have been happy.  The things he did for love….sigh…

Kyuhyun grumpily leaned against the hood of the car, propping a foot on the front bumper, hands folded as gritted his teeth  together, eyes trained to the paths ahead, looking around for Yesung, planning to strangle him if he didn’t pop up from somewhere soon. Never really being a patient person, Kyuhyun dug into his pocket to pull out his cell phone, hitting speed dial number 3 [it would have been number one but Leeteuk had insisted that he always be their number one contact, so Kyuhyun had to give way on that point]…plus he didn’t seem to call Yesung that frequently, so it would be impractically. In fact he had only ensured that it was so high, simply because Yesung by basic etiquette should hold a position in the top three as a matter of courtesy, the man in fact being the person he was in love with. It was just the natural course of things really.

This course however, was brought into question when after the sixth ring, there was no answer, Kyuhyun’s temper raising steadily, ready to chuck the phone into the depths of the Han River when by the eight ring there was no response, the phone connecting to some cutesy voicemail tone that made Kyuhyun want to utter profanities that his mother would have smacked him for. In fact, by the time he had disconnected and began glaring at the poor contraption, his mother would have been well within her rights to wash his mouth out with bleach, so many profanities being released from the tall man. His mood was then decidedly foul, glaring at everything and anything, nearly scaring a young couple some distance away, who had the misfortune of glancing in his direction during their leisurely stroll, the young woman grabbing her boyfriends hand steadily as they hurried by. Great! People now thought he was some crazy night prowler. Just perfect! Kyuhyun grunted as he kicked the front wheel with anger, swearing ten ways to Sunday that he would strangle Yesung the second he saw him, whining  when the pain shoot through his left leg from the impact, cursing once more in frustration.

“ Why are you so childish?” a very familiar voice called with amusement, the laugher glazed so far into the tone that Kyuhyun thought that he would have to extinguish the voice to ever pry the amusement and playfulness out of it. Kyuhyun however would never be able to do anything against the person that the voice belonged, so had to contend himself with simply inflicting bodily harm rather than ripping him to shreds as the annoyed blood thirsty voice in the back of his mind kept demanding. That voice however was soundly defeated by the pure affection he felt for the lithe blonde haired man, so his vicious desires were set aside for a more rational reaction, glaring at the man approaching with so much intensity his own eyes began to burn, his lips drawn so tight he was feeling actual pain in his jaw, which was clammed down on his teeth at such an angle he thought it would scratch his gums, body turning to the approaching man in a rigid stance, arms folded across his broad chest, clearly displeased, yet somehow the playful smile never left Yesung’s face as he walked towards Kyuhyun rather briskly, eyes warm and affectionate, which naturally drove Kyuhyun insane. Seriously? He was definitely going to kill Yesung!!!

“Yah!!!” Kyuhyun practically screamed, though the sound came out muted due to the anger and frustration clawing at his throat, his face turning red from the rage he was subduing, anger intensifying the more Yesung seemed mainly unaffected, the rational side of Kyuhyun pointing out that despite the half smile the older man seemed flustered and sort of nervous and in all fairness was walking towards him with a lot of energy, not strolling as that dark part of his mind was making it out to seem. Kyuhyun saw him flinch a little at his tone and the accompanying glare, but Yesung seemed mainly unmoved as he approached, Kyuhyun’s hands moving from his chest to fall to his side, the motion actually even less welcoming. Kyuhyun felt serious indignation in relation to his treatment thus far. He was confused and annoyed that he had been so uninformed and practically ignored and made to wait in the cold dark night [Really?....pssh...Fine!! It wasn’t that cold or dark, but...but…..he could have still been killed!] especially when Yesung knew he had little to no patience....then! He doesn’t even answer his phone! Who does that? Like really, who was so insane to ignore Kyuhyun? He more than had a right to be angry and he wasn’t even counting having to deal with an excitable Ryeowook. Hell! He was entitled to kill Yesung for that alone. Kyuhyun was so mad he could pout, but he restrained, keeping his lips in a thin line, looking fiercely at the man now nearly in arms reach, Yesung looking slightly red and breathy.

“I am sorry” purred with so much cuteness that the man could be mistaken for a cat, eyes small and nearly feline, lips upturned in a beautiful pattern, face angelic and sweet, Kyuhyun’s heart feeling lighter instantly, causing anger to surge through him, annoyed with his own heart. If such an action was not manipulative enough, the older man pulled out the artillery, practically throwing his arms around Kyuhyun in a half embrace, using his hands to hold on to Kyuhyun’s bicep, the tension in them immediately flowing out, smiling up at Kyuhyun sweetly, pressing his head against the mainly stoic Kyuhyun’s chest, causing the younger man to release a puff of frustration, trying his hardest not to look at the cute man, using that blasted aeygo like a stunner, the worst part being the fact that it was still fairly mild, Kyuhyun positive he had not even extended himself as yet, causing fear in the younger’s heart. He was sure he wouldn’t survive a full aeygo act, grateful that Yesung was keeping it mild and thankful that his task of avoidance had been successful so far, not falling into the trap that Yesung was springing.

His resistance however was thoroughly dented when Yesung pried his head from Kyuhyun’s chest to glance around, going left then right, then leaning up and pressing his lips against Kyuhyun’s in a quick [oh God..why so quick?] shy kiss, mainly a peck, his lips soft and warm against Kyuhyun’s, who naturally moved his hand to hold on to Yesung, who by then had pulled away with flaming cheeks, once more resting his head against Kyuhyun’s chest, his forehead pressed near Kyuhyun’s heart, the younger man, instantly blushing as a reaction, then quickly twisting his head to scan the area to detect if anyone would have seen the action, releasing a breathe he hadn’t realized was caught in his throat when he saw the area mainly free from life, so no possibility of being seen, Kyuhyun resting his hand protectively on Yesung’s back, his anger giving way in a rush to the affection he felt. He was still annoyed mind you, but it was hard for him to harbour any real ill will towards the person that he adored, the anger practically washed away in a flood of affection the kiss brought with it, only wanted to hug him tight before he strangled him for all of Kyuhyun’s misfortunes thus far.

“Why are you so annoying?? Huh?? Don’t even think that I am not going to kill you!” Kyuhyun warned disapprovingly, glaring slightly at the man that was smiling at him sheepishly beneath his eyes, Yesung calmly reaching around his back to pry Kyuhyun’s hands from him, Kyuhyun lifting his eyebrow and Yesung just shaking his head, appeasing Kyuhyun by lacing their fingers, squeezing them together, stepping out of Kyuhyun’s embrace, putting some distance between as he glanced around the area, his cheeks still bearing a soft rosy blush, standing a short distance from Kyuhyun as he continued to scan the area, his lips upturning when he determined that it was fairly free from on looking eyes, turning to smile at the glaring Kyuhyun, who rolled his eyes at the action, determined not to be induced by the so far quiet man...which was actually annoying him. Why hadn’t Yesung responded to him anyway? Did he think that he was kidding? He was well aware that he was no longer capable of holding any sort of resentment, but that did not mean he was so reduced as to be ignored. He really hated to be ignored actually. He was just about ready to ask Yesung if he wanted to die, when he was blinded by a glowing smile.

“Why would I think you wouldn’t?” Yesung questioned with a warm smile, eyes twinkling and bright with playfulness, voice sultry and suggestive, clearly enjoying being reprimanded, which once again annoyed Kyuhyun. Yesung had turned to look at him with bright playful eyes and a smile that was bordering on being a smirk, the older man playing up the soft cuteness, tugging on Kyuhyun’s hands tenderly, his fingers weaving around his in the most gentle of ways...intimately...Kyuhyun thinks his heart skipped a beat and his blood begins to rush to his face. He bit down on his jaw hard then...closing his eyes to avoid the evil onslaught, clearing his thoughts and burying the affection. Yesung should not have the right to bend him to his taste. He had a right to be annoyed and he as sure as hell was going to let it have its time. He was adamant that Yesung would not trick him with that devious angelic beautiful...Would you stop!! Arrrggghhh....deep breathes...He was mad. I am mad!!!! I am mad!!...he sighed and then  opened his eyes, Yesung still smiling at him, and he glaring at him nearly with new fierceness, Yesung’s smile falling ever so slightly, Kyuhyun’s heart kicking him in the chest, his face softening of its own accord, Yesung smiling at him again with sweetness....well that settles it...He was a wuss...sigh..

“Would you stop smiling at me like that? It’s freaky.” Kyuhyun instructed, deciding that since he was not very good at resisting those beautiful smiles, then he should be a tyrant and eradicate them. Yesung however seemed to think he was joking as he just leaned his head back and chuckled heartily, the sound escaping rich and beautiful and Kyuhyun was left to wonder if he didn’t just leave the frying pan to enter the fire. If those smiles weakened them, the sound of Yesung’s husky mirth completely owned him, immediate warmth settling in the pits of his stomach, his indignation feeling rather affronted by the unnecessary butterflies rising up happily in his depths. He couldn’t even glare properly anymore, his eyes over taken by the cuteness and sheer beauty of the older man laughing at him...Yesung was laughing at his anger and by extension him, yet his stupid heart could only internally gush at how adorable he was. If that was not evidence to the fact that he was nearly entirely certifiable, then he didn’t know what would be the appropriate indicator. He however, was a man of strong will and even more pride, so despite the strength of his weakness he was intent on permitting his indignation to act as it saw fit, which currently meant strangling Yesung.

“Ohhhhh you are so cute” Yesung cooed , eyes disappearing  behind his playful smile, his blonde shaggy hair failing over his face as he giggled softly, releasing his hold on Kyuhyun’s fingers to reach up and place his warm hands on cold cheeks, Kyuhyun looking at him with mild disdain, which he seemingly was oblivious to or just choose to ignore, his hands spayed out to cover the grit of Kyuhyun’s cheeks, his body so close that Kyuhyun could have felt the warm radiate from him or maybe Kyuhyun was just that sensitive to Yesung , the aroma of coffee and cinnamon teasing his nostrils, Yesung’s coat brushing against his finger tips, his hands now moulding against the cold skin, spreading its warmth, so deep that it touches Kyuhyun’s core . His fingers, it seems, decided that the touch was not enough, pinching at the cheeks, Kyuhyun looking at him from beneath his eyelids, eyes trained to all of his movements as if mesmerized, Yesung making cooing sounds and motions, driving Kyuhyun crazy.

 The younger man was torn. He could either reach his hand outwards and strangle the annoying man that was pinching his cheeks and moulding the flesh as if it were play dough for his amusement or he could drag him in his arms and imprison him, hide him away from the world and close to his heart. Both were rather tempting options to be honest. He wanted to kill him, but he was just so adorable that it was hard to even think. Kyuhyun was now positive that Yesung would kill him one day...one way or the other.

“Get off . You aren’t cute” Kyuhyun grumbled, mad that the cuteness was rubbing him of his sanity, reaching his large hands up to pry Yesung’s warm hands from his cool skin, automatically missing the extra warmth against his skin, his hands grasping at Yesung’s wrist, sliding his hands down to recapture the small hand, wrapping his fingers firmly around the smaller digits, then doing the same to the other hand, Yesung wrinkling his nose at him at the insult and the fact that Kyuhyun had just ruined his fun, clearly not put off by the fact that Kyuhyun was being rather dismissive, seemingly unperturbed by the gruffness of the maknae , looking at Kyuhyun with warm eyes, that smile he was just forbidden from wearing, tugging at the corner of his lips, Kyuhyun tugging at their clasp hands drawing Yesung closer, the older man apparently not noticing the action or not reacting to it if he did. He made faces at Kyuhyun in the interim, their joint hands resting on Kyuhyun’s chest, the maknae testing his endurance, as Yesung continued to apparently disprove his claims.

“Really? Donghae said I was…even Siwon did” Yesung informed offhandedly, continuing to make funny animal faces at Kyuhyun, his cheeks puffing out when he attempted a blowfish, then quickly burst into a fit of snickers, apparently amused by his own actions, Kyuhyun unable to stop his own chuckle from emerging at the unbearable cuteness, then his face drawing into a thin line when he realized that Yesung had just mentioned Siwon saying he was cute. Like Seriously? Was that even necessary? Who on earth was Siwon to say things like that anyway? All of a sudden anger returning, this time fuelled by something a lot more sinister than annoyance, green in colour and sourced in insecurity and pettiness. To anyone else it would be called jealousy, but to Kyuhyun it was just ‘a bit of distaste’ his hands automatically tightening on Yesung’s fingers, drawing closer, Yesung still a giggly mess, so taking no note of it.

“They lied” Kyuhyun sneered, face firm, voice low and bordering on unfriendly, eyes drawn over Yesung’s head, into the darkness ahead, focused on the tree bark some meters away, his face calm, hands firm on Yesung’s fingers and wrist, internally he was shoving anger and annoyance down forcible, unwilling to admit that Yesung’s casual mention of Siwon was the real reason he was stewing, his mind automatically wondering what Yesung did to garner that compliment. Was he smiling at Siwon the way he smiled at him? Did he make funny animal faces to appease Siwon as well? The very thought had anger boiling in his pits…fiery and frightening. A calm voice though, internally pleading with him to be rational and not allow his mind to run away with him. Unfortunately for him however, during the process he failed to realize that Yesung was no longer amused and his good mood was fading rapidly, tugging his hands out of Kyuhyun’s grasp, eyeing the maknae with indecision and uncertainty before he smiled at him, seemingly deciding that he would attempt reconciliation once more.

“You are just mad that I am cuter than you” punctuated with a teasing chuckle “Come with me. I want to show you something” Yesung spoke with some excitement, when his chuckles subsided, stepping away from the mainly stoic maknae, reaching his hand out to tug on Kyuhyun’s hand turning away from Kyuhyun to walk in the direction from which he came. Kyuhyun however, still grumpy and annoyed with everything removed to move, Yesung turning to look at him with a raised eyebrow, before tugging on his hands once more, Kyuhyun looking at him with firm annoyed eyes, Yesung no longer smiling at the annoyance expressed by Kyuhyun instead, looking at him critically.

“Let go” Kyuhyun instructed grumpily, pulling his hands from Yesung’s grasp, glaring at the calm man, annoyed with everything that happened, and even more mad because he couldn’t stop thinking about whether Siwon had seen Yesung make fish faces as well. He knew..oh he knew…he was being irrational and really petty but it was clawing at his insides. He knew it was not something extraordinary if Siwon had indeed been able to see Yesung’s aeygo and in truth he knew it was something that was actually sort of common; Yesung was prone to acting cute with people like Siwon. What annoyed him however was the idea that Yesung was showing his cuteness to someone else. Didn’t he know that he was too precious to be shared? Didn’t he realize that he shouldn’t let anyone else near him? That everyone would want to steal him and Kyuhyun would probably suffer the fires of hell if that ever happened? The thought was burning his insides and he was seeing flashes of red as a result. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he was being childish and irrational, but in that second, he just wanted the thought to vanish from his mind, automatically blaming Yesung for making him suffer. Why did he have to fall in love? Why? Just Why?

“Look Kyuhyun….I am sorry. Nothing went the way it was supposed to. I know you are unhappy and I am sorry for that, but you are just being petulant now” Yesung scolded, though his voice carried more hurt than anger, releasing Kyuhyun’s hand, instead turning to face the dissatisfied maknae, reaching a hand outwards to touch his cheeks, stopping midway and withdrawing, head falling, hair covering his eyes that were now trained at his feet, sighing in defeat.

He really should have known better. Why on earth did he think he could do something like that? He never got things right. It was one fail after another. Maybe he shouldn’t have dragged Kyuhyun out in the middle of the night when he was tired. He was wasting Kyuhyun’s time and probably wasting his own time. He was tired and he as frustrated. He had worked all day on it, even after all his schedules, in the middle of a promotion period and still he couldn’t get anything done right. It was probably a bad idea anyway. He was not cut out for things like that. He shouldn’t have even bothered to try. He was annoyed at himself, and his failure, but at the same time, Kyuhyun was grating on his nerves.

Couldn’t he see he was trying his best for him? He ran all the way there when he realized he was late and then he couldn’t find his phone. The heavens were obviously against him, made evident by how moody Kyuhyun was. Nothing it seemed was destined to go the way he wanted it. Still! Kyuhyun was just being mean. He was trying his best, yet the spoilt brat was not helping him at all. He knew he was wrong to keep him waiting, but he had said sorry. What more did Kyuhyun want from him? He tolerated all the gibe remarks and the annoyance, and tried his best to appease him, but after a while Kyuhyun should have atleast stop being so petty. He knew he was annoyed but couldn’t he be a little more welcoming? Couldn’t he see that Yesung was trying his best to make it up to him? That he had a long day? That he was trying his upmost best for him?...’Maybe your best isn’t good enough’ that hated voice whispered from somewhere. He didn’t argue with it…he couldn’t really. It was obvious he wasn’t good enough and he never would be. Why did  he ever think otherwise? He sighed, not bothering to meet Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“Hyung..” Kyuhyun spoke hesitantly, now afraid and nervous, his anger disappearing the second he heard Yesung call him by his name. It was rare for Yesung to actually say ‘Kyuhyun’, seemingly preferring the more affectionate forms of his name. The man only ever uttered his name when he was annoyed with him. Kyuhyun was stunned for a second, his anger quelling with the understanding that he, due to his mood and conduct, had annoyed the older man as well. That evil voice inside of his mind was rather proud and sort of indignant, but it was soundly defeated when he heard the hurt tone of his scolding. Yesung was annoyed but he was hurt more than anything else. Kyuhyun was stumped. He reflected on his conduct and could recognize that it was not exactly very mature or helpful, but still felt he was justified, until his mind not so kindly informed him that he was a ‘jealous insensitive jackass’…he was rather insulted, until his mind once again informed that he was childish and indeed petulant. He wished to argue but knew it was pointless. He knew he was being petulant, but it was Yesung’s fault! Why was he…why was he…arrggghhh…he was frustrated. He was mad and annoyed at Yesung and then even more mad at himself. Why did he always react emotionally with Yesung? It was so freaking annoying. Not only did he have to deal with an annoyed Yesung, which he knew was going to be hell [he hadn’t forgotten the last time Yesung was mad at him and he feared], he also had to deal with a hurt Yesung, which naturally worried him more. Why was he so insensitive? He really hated when Yesung was hurt or upset and despised it the most when he was the cause of it. He for once really didn’t know what do know.

“Let’s just go home Kyuhyun ah” Yesung breathed out, not looking at Kyuhyun, voice strained and sort of defeated, turning his body to Kyuhyun’s car, taking a step away from the maknae. He was tired and just sort of unwilling. He didn’t know what to do and it was all weighing him down, crushing his heart. Kyuhyun was clearly unwilling and if the way the younger just spoke was any indication, he was weary as well. He didn’t mean to take his frustrations out on Kyuhyun, even if he was being more of a brat than usual. It was his fault that things ended up the way they did, standing in a deserted car park at half past two  in the morning, after no sleep and he was sure tiring days. What was he thinking? Really! No wonder Kyuhyun was mad. He now felt guilty for scolding him. He had no right to make it Kyuhyun’s responsibility when he was the one that was wrong. He was apologetic to the younger man and embarrassed that he let the frustration get to him. He didn’t want to look at him. Right then he just wanted to get home, curl up on his bed and pretend none of it was happening.

Just as he was about to take his next step, a hand, clearly belonging to Kyuhyun, grabbed hold on his bicep, the grip firm and unrelenting though positioned in such a way that it caused him no real pain, Kyuhyun tugging on his hand lightly, seemingly wishing to pull him back towards him or atleast impede his retreat towards the car. Yesung did not struggle against the action, though he did not facilitate it either, standing his ground, trying his hardest to clear his mind and gather his thoughts, eyes still planted on the ground, still refusing to meet Kyuhyun’s eyes, still unwilling to face the maknae and confirm that he had caused him annoyance and tiredness with another one of his failures. He was slightly annoyed that Kyuhyun still insisted on letting the tiring evening continue. Didn’t the younger realise that he was just prolonging the suffering? Why couldn’t Kyuhyun just let him go home and wallow in his disappointment and self pity? He made to pull his hand from Kyuhyun’s grasp and continue his interrupted journey to his car, but Kyuhyun impeded that action quite successfully, using his body to his advantage in such a situation.

“Hyuuunnnggg I’m sorry” Kyuhyun practically purrs, voice laced with such innocence that one could be fooled into thinking that he was a reincarnated saint, except he was no saint. Accompanying his shameless display of cuteness, clearly meant to curry favour, the larger younger man practically threw his body at the older man, releasing his arm only so that he could free up his body to drape it over Yesung’s back, hands snaking over his shoulders to clasp themselves against the firm chest, fingers laced as to ensure his grasp never faltered, Kyuhyun’s own strong torso, pressed impossibly close to the warm skin of Yesung’s dorsum. Kyuhyun deliberately drawing the man closer to his body, even he wasn’t sure what he hoped to achieve, burying his face in the curve of Yesung’s neck and throat, his nose planted against the coffee/cinnamon scented skin, taking deep breathes, drawing the man in, Kyuhyun continuing to gradually tighten his grasp, his cuteness at an explosive level, rubbing his head or rather hair against Yesung’s cheek’s as much as the baseball cap would permit , trying to look at the man with innocent child like eyes.

Kyuhyun couldn’t say his pride was not taking a beating, having to reduce himself to such a level was causing him actually pain, yet he was willing to offer up his pride as a sacrificial lamb to be slaughtered if it mean he could atone for his sin. In his warped logic it was a sin to cause Yesung so much dissatisfaction. The man’s countenance poisoned his eyes and stabbed at his eardrums. He was mad and if he was to be truthful, the annoyance he felt was still bubbling beneath the service, buried in a hurry however when Yesung took his first steps away from him. Those steps lashed at his heart in such a manner that he wondered if he had any sanity at all. Kyuhyun was a smart kid and eventually a smart man, yet despite his overall brilliance, he had come to realize that he could be a right idiot sometimes and if you were to wring his arm and threaten to destroy his laptop he could be persuaded to admit that it wasn’t just sometimes and was especially prevalent in areas such as romance and relationships as a whole. Kyuhyun had hoped that with the advent of ‘undying love’ or whatever else that had him spewing sonnets and daydreaming of holding hands in green meadows [which he would deny even in his grave ] that he would develop some romantic know how, but such aspirations were crushed very early in the game. If his awkward rambled confession was anything to go by, he was an abject failure. Still! Kyuhyun had tried his best; he did everything and anything he could to make Yesung happy.

The man deserved to be happy, to be loved, to be treated with never ending devotion. Kyuhyun had tried to ensure that atleast Yesung was happy in his presence. He knew…knew all too well….that he was not always the best or not even close to what Yesung deserved, but he had always consoled himself with the simple thought, that no matter how romantic or how brash and ignorant and temperamental he was, Yesung was always happy or he always seemed happy. Kyuhyun could hold Yesung in his arms every time possible and close his eyes with a clear mind. Yes…he deserved to be there, he deserved to have such a brilliant man in his arms, to feel such warmth, because if nothing else, he had made him happy, he had protected what was most precious to him.

He supposed it was for such a reason that it was sometimes easy for him to burn his pride, something that he valued greatly. He had long come to the understanding that there was nothing much that he valued more than Yesung and his happiness. Everything else paled greatly in comparison to those warm hands and bright eyes.  Kyuhyun thought it was his duty to make Yesung happy. He knew he would disappoint the older man sometimes, and sometimes he would be a complete idiot and annoy him, but despite all that he could always be rest assured that Yesung would be happy….Wouldn’t he? It had become abundantly clear however, that Yesung was anything but happy in that moment. The older man was never one to easily display his emotions contrary to popular belief, and he rarely did so when he thought it would upset Kyuhyun, which in fact upset Kyuhyun even more, but Kyuhyun didn’t have the time to think about that then, not with his heart clawing at his insides, his mind being doused in acid from the depths of the blinding abyss, all chastising and reprimanding him in voices so loud, he thought he would be deafened.

 It was therefore rare that Kyuhyun was able to perceive his mood that easily without having to mentally manoeuvre all the flimsy barricades to his heart and mind that Yesung always seemed willing to erect. Why he worked so hard to keep Kyuhyun out was something that the maknae would never understand and in fact he was certain it would be one of those things that would drive him up a wall for an eternity. Despite his distaste in that relation, it was quite disheartening that one of the only times he was freely able to discern Yesung’s discomfort it gave him no joy. It was just evidential that he had been such a pain that Yesung was unable to hide his discontentment. Kyuhyun still thought he was justified in his anger and his annoyance, but nothing would ever justify him having a part in upsetting Yesung to such a point. He felt regret and renewed anger, this time directed at his own self. How could he let his pettiness and childish conduct upset the person he loved most? Sometimes he wondered if he really was as smart as he claimed he was. He had to do something and that something had to be fast. Yesung was unhappy and walking away from him. It was something that he could never accept . It hurt his pride to so reduce himself but it hurt his pride [and his heart] even more to let Yesung hurt as a consequence of his stupidity. It was rather beneficial that Yesung was particularly susceptible to his charms…well maybe not charms, but his killer aeygo attack…sigh…aeygo…that was what he was reduced to.

“Hyuuunggg…don’t go” Kyuhyun continued his shameless whining and pleading, holding the older man tight in his arms, not being deterred by the hand on his head bouncing off Yesung’s head, trying his hardest to get as close as possible to the once fleeing man, his fingers lacing even tighter when Yesung lifted his hands, seemingly to reach for his hands, Kyuhyun snuggling himself against the seemingly still upset man as tightly as possible, afraid that Yesung would try to pry him off. Kyuhyun was stubborn in that he refused to move an inch, until he could be assured that he was once again in Yesung’s good graces. It would be even more painful to his pride, to have his aeygo rejected after he had to swallow so much pride to behave that way in the first place.

Kyuhyun tensed mentally when Yesung’s small beautiful fingers brushed against his clasp hands, unconsciously tightening his grip on the man, hiding as much of his face against the warm silk skin at Yesung’s throat, so close that he could taste the slight saltiness and sweetness of the areas, tempted to confirm that it would actually taste like coffee, before his mind pointed out that then was clearly not the time to provoke Yesung, hoping that Yesung wouldn’t have the heart to dislodge him when he was clearly ‘so very upset’ or just clinging to him like some deranged Koala….maybe Yesung would find koala’s to be cute? He was in hope mode to be honest, his eyes buried so deep into the fragrant cervix that he couldn’t make out the older man’s expression, though it wasn’t very promising when Yesung’s body stiffened from his contact. Kyuhyun was just going to convince himself it was just due to the surprise rather than an unwillingness from the man to accept Kyuhyun’s affections, and everyone was warned that he was keeping that delusion come hell or high water , so his snarky little mind had better keep its opinions to itself if it knew what was good for it.

Kyuhyun’s breath caught as the small warm fingers took its place upon his skin, brushing his nose against the skin that was serving as his haven; his chest pressed firmly against Yesung’s dorsum only leaving enough room so that he could stand independently and not hurt the older man with his considerable weight, his arms wrapped firmly and tightly over the lithe shoulders and firm chest, waiting for Yesung to make his move, trying to convince the man silently that he didn’t want to discard Kyuhyun’s affections for him. He was only able to breathe semi normally when the fingers only held on to his wrist , tight and reassuring, making no immediate move to displace his grip, the finger tips now a comfort to him, warm and tender, just as they had always been, Kyuhyun grinning against the skin, pulling his head out a little to try and catch a glimpse at the currently silent man, curious to see what his mind was like in that moment, Kyuhyun praying that he was in a forgiving mood, really not wanting to have to deal with Yesung in one of his less friendly moods, his own anger being buried in favour of rectifying the current situation. Kyuhyun unfortunately unable to make out much, without loosening his hold, which he had no intention of doing. He couldn’t let Yesung escape from his grasp, not at all.

“Kyu ah” Yesung finally spoke, after what felt like a lifetime to Kyuhyun but was probably less than a minute, his voice warm and filled with what could be termed amusement and no Kyuhyun was not just hearing what he wanted to hear. It was even confirmed by the low husky chuckle giggle cross thingy, a warm sound that brought joy to Kyuhyun’s eardrums, feeling the tremors against his own jaw as the muscles on Yesung’s neck contracted to produce the melodious song, Kyuhyun grinning like a fool, a flood of happiness washing over him, gushing through his veins in a storm, reaching into him to settle his mind, painting him with a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment that defied logic…honestly was it even logically to feel so much relief when he didn’t even know if Yesung was willing to forgive him? For all he knew Yesung could just be chuckling because he had just devised some elaborate plot to make Kyuhyun cry…a real possibility with Yesung. The normally shy man was a devil in disguise, make no mistake. Kyuhyun had already underestimated him and was in no way looking forward to a repeat performance. That train of thought effectively wiping the smile from his face. He needed to stay focused and stay confident. He couldn’t be lulled into a false sense of security and lost his hard fought advantage. He had to hold on until it was resolved. With that mind set, Kyuhyun returned to the task at hand.

“Would you stop that? It tickles!” Yesung instructed with a giggle, though Kyuhyun couldn’t tell if he was giggling because he had fangirl inclinations and thought Kyuhyun was adorable or if Kyuhyun’s ministrations against his hyper sensitive skin …he supposed it was probably the latter..’You think?’ Kyuhyun would argue with his mind but decided that he had better things to do, namely not react like an idiot to Yesung squirming around in his arms in delicate motions and alternating between tugging at his clasp hands and trying to whack him away with soft smacks to wherever his small hands could reach with the impossible angle. He mainly ended up smacking Kyuhyun’s arms, which were like little due to the angle, not perturbed in the least by the actions, instead chuckling against the soft skin, feeling the goosebumps rising against the tips of his lips. He didn’t dare kiss the older man but with the closeness of his lips he might have. Instead he ensured that his warm breathe caressed the slivers of expose skin, teasing the goosebumps, Yesung immediately reacting in shock, his giggles increasing in intensity, a glorious sound, his movements less controlled, trying to careen his neck as far away from the stimulants as possible, Kyuhyun possessing not an ounce of mercy, deliberately ensuring that Yesung was not away from his grasp.

“Kyuhyun ah….let go! Someone might see us” Yesung pleaded his giggles low and more infrequent, settling as the sensitivity in his cervix decreased with the constant exposure, but not entirely, still squirming around a bit when Kyuhyun dragged his nose along the area, Yesung taking matters into his own hands, pulling at the hands holding him prisoner forcefully, Kyuhyun being torn as to how to proceed. In his mind it was unlikely that anyone would recognize him and in truth there had been no one around the vicinity in quite a while and unlikely to be any soon either, so it was not an issue on that front. However, Yesung was very concerned about things like that, nearly at paranoia. Yesung would be really worried that someone would see them and that would defeat his purpose. He intended to ask for forgiveness, not to bother the older man any more than he had. He couldn’t decide if he should release him as well. He rather liked the feel of the man wrapped in his arms and he still wasn’t sure if Yesung had forgiven him as well. As far as he knew he could be releasing a torment. The choice however was taken from him, when Yesung took advantage of his internal debate, using his distraction to pry himself from Kyuhyun’s grip, quickly stepping away, Kyuhyun only grabbing one of his bicep, which he couldn’t hold on to in the end. Kyuhyun had to admit defeat, taking a stance to face the consequences of his actions. He was ready to get killed, he vowed, as he watched the older man hastily look around the area for onlookers, lowering his gaze to the floor when Yesung turned towards him, either from embarrassment or shyness, maybe fear, which he would probably never admit to anyway.

“You sneaky brat!” Yesung accused, Kyuhyun eyes flying from their imprisonment to stare at the older man with barely concealed shock. Yesung didn’t sound anything close to what Kyuhyun expected, the older man voice warm and affectionate, even if it held a slight accusatory tone, more playful than anything else, his eyes bright and hidden, having been scrunched up by the soft warm smile he was wearing as he took that last step to Kyuhyun, turning blinding when he pulled one of his hand back, an odd position Kyuhyun mindlessly thought, before smacking Kyuhyun soundly on the chest. It stung. It stung a lot. Kyuhyun’s chest hurt, as he grasp for that quick short breath, the air in his lungs lost form the impact and the shock that such small hands could be so forceful. It was not extremely painful but it still had that pang that would cause him some discomfort. Yesung, laughing happily when Kyuhyun automatically glared at him, the younger man rubbing his hand against the affected area whilst Yesung tried to bring his impromptu chuckles under order, Kyuhyun catching his breath sufficiently to once again stand upright, waiting to see what else the older man would do, his eyes softening with affection.

Yesung choose to forgo any more violence, instead reaching up to caress Kyuhyun’s cold cheeks, smiling warmly at the shy maknae, the younger smiling in response, so very grateful that Yesung had no other plans to make him suffer, well other than the smack to his chest which was barely a sting anymore. Kyuhyun had to restrain himself from gloating especially when he  confirmed that Yesung had indeed forgiven him, so atleast he was not in a punishing mood, the older man’s fingers warm against his cool skin, his touch sending little jolts of electricity throughout his body, coercing a blinding smile to nearly split his face, though not entirely innocent. Kyuhyun had hoped to use the smile to convince Yesung that he was innocent and squelch any attempt by the older man to hold a further grudge. Kyuhyun was man that knew the value of cuteness. He was going to milk Yesung’s inability to resist his soft features to his advantage and he wasn’t even going to feel guilty about it. It was his for the taking and well….he was taking.

Kyuhyun decided that he needed to test his respite. He had to have some sort of certainty that Yesung was not going to stop speaking to him or ban him from holding his hand. He had been there and it was hell on earth. He had to ensure that it was never allowed to see a repeat performance. He was sly and probably stupid, but that was not something new for him anyway. His action wasn’t well thought out but he didn’t seem to care, smiling rather brightly, when he pulled the older man in to a suffocating hug, reaching his free hand out to tug on his bicep, Yesung losing his balance, shifting his weight onto Kyuhyun, the younger taking advantage of his need, wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him close to his chest. Yesung was too surprised at first to react, Kyuhyun chuckling at his own little act, the sound throwing Yesung off balance even more, resting his hand on Kyuhyun’s chest and jaw for some balance, steadying his heart before he could act, Kyuhyun’s warmth surrounding him once again. It was an intoxicating feeling and he was nearly powerless.

“Get off you diot!” Yesung instructed, shoving Kyuhyun off of his body, both hands shoving at Kyuhyun’s chest, rolling his eyes at the child in front of him, Kyuhyun once more trying to pretend he was innocent, boyish grin out and proud, eyes soft and pleading, Yesung sighing to himself, admitting defeat early in the game. There was no way he could be mad at Kyuhyun for any length at time anyway, unless he was really trying and I would be accurate to say that he was not really trying. His plans were quickly changing from going home and snuggling in his blankets to going home and wrap Kyuhyun and himself with each other and just get some sleep. The original intention was to spend the night with Kyuhyun anyway. It would be different from what he had hoped but it was still better than nothing anyway right?

He was annoyed but at that point he was just sad and tired, though Kyuhyun had done a good job of cheering him up. He knew that Kyuhyun had no idea what was going on and was probably just trying to be save himself after his less than appropriate conduct but still, he felt better. He would never understand how or why Kyuhyun had so much control over him, but his mere presence coupled with all the cuteness served to lighten his heart significantly. For whatever reason Kyuhyun always seem to have that effect on him and he was grateful. The child was still a brat mind you, but he was someone that he could depend on. The affection he felt for him then incomparable, unable to stop the happy chuckles at the obviously fake innocent look Kyuhyun was shooting him. He wondered if he would ever stop loving the younger man more, but supposed he was wasting his time. He would love Kyuhyun more each day anyway, so why wonder as to possibilities. The fact that it was happening should have been more than enough to end that inquiry.

“Let’s go home Kyu ah” Yesung encouraged, when his chuckles subsides and he realized that they were still standing in the car park in the slightly chilly night, reaching up to pull Kyuhyun’s coat tighter around his neck and throat, not wanting him to get sick, smiling as he performed the action, Kyuhyun not looking at him much but wore a smile. The night was ruined and Yesung just wanted to get home so he could forget that any of that sort of thing happened. He would just let it go as is. Kyuhyun was probably tired anyway, so maybe it was for the best. The younger man looked happy enough now but Yesung still had to make it up to him at some point, he promised himself. He pulled his hands down and once more turned in the direction of the car, ready to leave, Kyuhyun more than likely to listen to his instruction then, as the younger no longer seemed to have any fighting spirit left him, or so he thought. It was then unexpected when a hand reached out to halt his progress once again.

“Hyung….Wait! Didn’t you want us to go somewhere?” Kyuhyun questioned a little hesitantly still carrying a bit of reservation in that areas considering he was so against it originally. He was curious now in truth. Yesung was so excited before. Why was he no longer excited? Or better yet what had made him so excited? With Yesung it could honestly be anything, but Kyuhyun wished to know what had made him so eager. Maybe he could salvage something from the evening [was it morning now?] after all. Kyuhyun was really reluctant to have it end that way, so impeded Yesung’s progress further, this time no longer carrying any real fear of upsetting the man, his curiosity piqued and ready to be sated.

“Don’t worry about it. It was a bad idea to start with. I don’t know what I was thinking. I am sorry for dragging you out here” Yesung said somewhat solemnly, turning once again to face the unmoving maknae, his voice regretful and laced with disappointment, eyes hazing over as he thought about all his ruined plans and wondered what it would have been like if he could have done it with Kyuhyun properly. Would the younger man have liked it? Would he have been touched? It didn’t make sense to worry about that now though. It was already late and they could both use the rest. Yesung smiled weakly at Kyuhyun before turning away once again only to have his hand tugged at once again.

“Let’s do it still” Kyuhyun basically insisted, looking at Yesung expectantly, still unwilling to give up on whatever Yesung had called them out to do. He had heard the barely concealed disappointment in Yesung’s voice and wanted it gone. He knew that from Yesung’s demeanour that it was probably no longer what he wanted but Kyuhyun didn’t care. If Yesung wanted to do something then he should be able to do it. He didn’t want the disappointment to carry over and he was sure that Yesung was just not happy that it was no longer perfect. Kyuhyun didn’t ever need perfection, he just needed a happy Yesung and that was what he would strive for.

“Just leave it Kyu ah” Yesung spoke slightly defeated, the more Kyuhyun looked interested in his event the more pitiful he felt. It was all ruined now…well maybe not exactly ruined but he didn’t want to disappoint Kyuhyun anymore than he had already. It was better to just return home and forget about it all. He hoped Kyuhyun would understand in that regard but a look in the maknae’s eyes told him he would be anything but. What was he going to do?

“Come on Hyung” Kyuhyun announced with easy, sliding his hand down from Yesung’s forearm to attach on to his small fingers, hand settling into his palm as they had always done comfortably, Kyuhyun wrapping his large fingers around them securely, with no protest from Yesung , who was a step behind him, causally being led by Kyuhyun, the younger using their joint hands to guide them into the darkness that Yesung had come from, his grip firm and body determined. He continued walking forward, Yesung trailing behind him, biting his lips to stop himself from laughing. At first he was confused. He didn’t know what Kyuhyun was up to or where he wanted them to go, but then realized that Kyuhyun was trying to find what Yesung wanted to show him. The sweetness of the gesture warmed his heart and clouded his mind with happiness. It was hard to believe that the annoying brat could possess so much sweetness but he did and it was wonderful. Yesung however whilst touched by the gesture was unsure how to proceed, though this was figuratively, Kyuhyun’s problem being more literal when he had to slow his steps, being unsure as to what direction Yesung had intended on taking him originally.

“Do you even know where you are going?” Yesung questioned with a laugh when Kyuhyun’s progress was halted entirely, the maknae looking left and right, not sure where he was supposed to go. Did Yesung want to take him to the river or did he want to take him along the shops? The river would be nice but sort of weird and then the shops would all be closed at that hour, so there was nothing to really see there. Then again Yesung could have intended something else all together. He could never be sure to be honest.  He had just stopped to decide what direction to proceed when the question was asked, the melodious laugh piercing the silent night air, Kyuhyun feeling the blood rushing to his face, shyness rising quickly when he realized that he had no real answer for Yesung.

“Well….I was just gonna guess” Kyuhyun answered truthfully, eyes trying not to look at the older man that had come to stand beside him, though he could tell that Yesung was amused, his voice laced with laughter and playfulness, Kyuhyun positive that his face would be reflective as well. He didn’t want to look at him, not with the mild shyness he was feeling, so had tried to act indifferent, looking at the road ahead, and hoping silently that Yesung would be willing to volunteer a direction.

“We don’t have to do this anymore you know. It’s late. If you are tired we can just go home” Yesung counselled, as he stood beside Kyuhyun, tightening his grip on their joint hands, using his index finger to rub comforting against the joint hands, looking intently at the maknae in anticipation of his answer. Yesung was not sure exactly sure what he wanted to do then. Kyuhyun was apparently interested in his little surprise which was really very heartening but he wasn’t sure if he wanted Kyuhyun to see what he had planned for them. If after all the stress they had to go through to get there and Kyuhyun didn’t like it, he would be very sad indeed. Maybe it was better to just forget the whole thing. Kyuhyun probably had a long day just as he had. It wasn’t worth the stress anyway. He could insist that they go home, but Kyuhyun would be stubborn if he just unilaterally decided as such and he really didn’t think he had enough patience left to go there again with the younger man. This time he would just leave it up to Kyuhyun, whilst he hoped the younger would just decide to go home.

“No I want to go. I want to see what you wanted to show me” Kyuhyun decided, finally turning his gaze from the distant trees to look at the smaller man beside him, smiling as he nodded his head. He could admit that Yesung’s proposal had indeed echoed quite promisingly. He was indeed tired from a long day and even more frustration added by the little misunderstanding had drained him quite a bit. Yet, his curiosity was piqued and he couldn’t seem to dispel it at all. He wanted to know what could compel Yesung to request his presence out in the open so late at night. He was aware that it could more than likely be something ridiculous, but he had come to realize that he wasn’t that averse to ridiculous when it came to Yesung. He was tired but it was still an opportunity to spend time with Yesung. They had upcoming schedules in Japan and no matter what he promised himself, he wouldn’t get to spend time with Yesung on his birthday. There was no way Siwon and Hae…hell that anyone would let him monopolize the older man’s time as he is generally prone to doing. It was still a beneficial opportunity to have the man all to himself, atleast for a little while.

“Really?” Yesung questioned and then nodded “come with me then” he instructed after Kyuhyun nodded in his head in the affirmative, smiling at the slightly shorter man, who reciprocated a little hesitantly, before he took the lead, tugging on their joint hands, Kyuhyun more than content to follow where ever the older man led, his steps lining up beside him, both walking comfortably hands attached.

Kyuhyun took it upon himself to evaluate the area for onlookers, with Yesung seemingly forgetting that he had to be weary, pleased when he saw no one, tightening his grip on the hands, taking a larger step so that he could be in line with the older man, both walking beside each other. The air was silent, neither seeing it fit to have any lengthy discussion, perhaps just happy to enjoy what was turning out to be a comfortable stroll. They hadn’t walked far, but Kyuhyun could confirm that they were not going along the river, Yesung having passed that exit without so much as a glance, walking steadily towards the shops. Kyuhyun was confused. As far as he knew the shopped that lined the areas were all closed and in fact to his recollection, there would be nothing there that could really gain their attention. He was ready to point this out to Yesung but decided to hold his tongue in that instance. Yesung seemed rather calm about walking along the street at the late hour, and wore a small peaceful smile, cheeks rosy from the coldish night breeze. Kyuhyun was not willing to disturb the moment. Maybe Yesung just wanted them to walk along the street? It was late so they didn’t have to cover up much, and were fairly safe as at the area wasn’t especially crime prone and so far they had only past a few tired looking shift workers, who were much too sleepy to wonder why they looked like boy band members. 

Their gentle stroll was interrupted slightly when Yesung picked up his pace, tugging on Kyuhyun’s hand as he approached a small shop…well not a shop exactly but a café. It was along a nice path and indented a little into the edifice. It was clearly dark but from the outside, with the single yellow light that illuminated it, Kyuhyun could just tell it was one of those homey, sit on a couch sort of coffee shops. The glass door had some calligraphy style gold designed that Kyuhyun couldn’t read in the dark, but the outside had two table sets, with large shrubby plants lining a walk way to the main door, glass panels meant for viewing acting as walls. Kyuhyun had seen the café before, time to time when they were in the area but he had never had the opportunity to enter, being much too busy and just too scared to enter in the middle of the day. He never wanted to be mobbed despite how mellow it looked from the outside. Fangirls were scary sometimes.

Whilst he examined the exterior, Yesung had lead them up the up the path to the entrance, Kyuhyun following mindlessly, so distracted examined the area that he bumped into Yesung when the older man had stopped in front of the glass panelled door, Kyuhyun having to reach his hand out to steady both himself and Yesung after his little accident, smiling sheepishly at the lead vocalist when he lifted that eyebrow in response. Kyuhyun rubbed the back of his head before he shrugged, indicating that he was sorry but stuff happens, to which Yesung responded with a warm chuckle. Kyuhyun however was quickly curious and if he was to be honest slightly worried. Why had Yesung led them to a closed café at  nearly 3 am anyway? It was rather worrisome, especially if the person involved included Yesung.

“Hyung, what are we doing here? The café is closed” Kyuhyun pointed out matter factly, facing the blonde man with questioning eye framed with what was becoming a trademark eyebrow lift, his tone not accusatory but plainly interested, body angled so that he could look down at the smaller man, spotting his serene expression and calm countenance turning into a smiling form when he lifted his head to answer Kyuhyun’s inquiry.

“ I know its closed silly” rolling his eyes in mild exasperation “this is what I wanted to show you. I hope you like it” Yesung smiled warmly at Kyuhyun ,eyes bright and hopeful, squeezing Kyuhyun’s fingers in reassurance when he saw the question in the younger’s eyes, trying to calm his own erratic heart before doing this.

Yesung knew that he couldn’t stall for time much longer. It was all set to be used at a specific time but he had gone and ruined that already. Things had already gone so wrong, that he was nearly positive that he was making a mistake my going through with his crazy plan. He knew that he was never the right one for things like that. How could he think he could properly surprise Kyuhyun anyway? It was just so far out of his arena that he was probably just fooling himself with the idea of it all. He wanted to sigh but held it back. Kyuhyun had made it clear that he didn’t appreciate him sighing, so instead opted for an internal expression of hopelessness. He supposed however, that he should atleast make the effort. Kyuhyun was already standing beside him, looking at him with the most adorable confused eyes, being so cute, even if he was practically implying that Yesung was an idiot that did not know when a store was closed. Kyuhyun deserved much better than he could produce clearly, but they were already there and he suspected that it would be annoying and disappointing to Kyuhyun if he chickened out now.

 If he went through with it, then atleast Kyuhyun would only be disappointed and not annoyed. He had freaking out about his plans, so much so that he nearly forgot about just exactly what he planned to do. He could only pray that he didn’t choke on his own spit and faint before he got the words out. He wondered if he could just make a run for it. Kyuhyun would think he was insane and probably strangle him but it would be better than doing that anyway. It was not as if Kyuhyun had to have such experiences. He was positive the younger man would be happier if he spared him the torture. ‘Would you stop being like that…Kyuhyun deserves to know’ his mind cajoled. Yesung was more than willing to argue with it, but was nudged by an elbow from Kyuhyun, who was looking at him with worried eyes.

“Hyung-“Kyuhyun began when Yesung had made no real effort to do anything, unless he intended to show Kyuhyun the glass door or the outside location. Was Kyuhyun then supposed to compliment the door? In was a pretty door, but not exactly something he thought he should be admiring at 3 am during a promotion period, but if Yesung wanted him to, then he would ….tease mercilessly. He supposed even Yesung was not that ridiculous and could therefore have a real reason for dragging him there. Maybe he wanted an opinion on the location? He did mention looking for a new spot for the family café, but Kyuhyun supposed that they selected a really bad time for a tour. Putting aside his crazy thoughts he was just ready to ask Yesung what the hell was going on when Yesung interrupted.

“Just a second. Let me open the door and yes… I have a key” Yesung informed with a chuckle, interrupting Kyuhyun before he could point out the obvious. He had decided that he would just go for it. If it came to it, he could just scrap that part of the plan. It would still be embarrassing but he would survive. It made no sense to make all that hard work go to waste and maybe if he was lucky Kyuhyun would still find a little bit of joy from his little event. He took a few deep breathes, meant to settle his heart and get him ready to act, before he dug into his pants pocket to search for the key, chuckling a bit as Kyuhyun added that he was ‘just making sure’ and something about not wanting to be arrested, Yesung not taking it as an insult, rather just Kyuhyun being Kyuhyun.

He could feel Kyuhyun close and it was unnerving him a little, his nervousness clawing at his insights, therefore resulting in him being a complete idiot and not being able to find the small thing in his pants pocket, Kyuhyun chuckling low in his throat as a result of Yesung’s inability to find the key. With great effort  he finally managed to locate and extract the small gold coloured key, cheekily waving it in Kyuhyun’s face, the younger just rolling his eyes at Yesung’s  childishness. He looked on over Yesung's shoulder as the older man seemingly inhaled rapid breathes, muttering something to himself before he plugged the key into the socket, turning it slowly, before he turned the doorknob, pushing the easily opened door back on its hinges, the chimes above greeting them into the darkness.  Yesung took the first step into the dark room, but not much past the doorway, glancing around the dark room hesitantly. Kyuhyun was right behind him, halted at the doorway as Yesung had yet to properly enter. Kyuhyun was unsure as to how to proceed and was concerned when Yesung looked around sort of hesitantly, automatically raising his released hand to grasp at the older man’s waist, just to be sure, applying a bit of pressure so that he would know that Kyuhyun was right beside him. Yesung turned awkwardly to smile at Kyuhyun, before he took a few more tentative steps into the room, Kyuhyun holding on to him as he followed suit. Once the doorway was cleared, Yesung turned to him with a nervous smile, and clasped fingers, finally speaking.

“There is supposed to be a light switch on that wall there. Can you just put them on?” Yesung requested with a shy smile and a hint of nervousness that was starting to unnerve Kyuhyun a little. They were in a café, a fairly safe one at that, so what on earth did Yesung have to be nervous about? Well other than the fact that he was insane and visited cafés at 3 in the morning, when there was no real reason. Kyuhyun supposed in that case they both had a lot to be nervous about, but atleast Yesung had used a key, so they weren’t breaking and entering. He was sure that would be a great headline.

Aside from that though, Kyuhyun had a feeling that something was not quite right, even if the level of craziness could naturally extend with someone like Yesung involved. There had to be some reason for them to be there and how on earth Yesung did have the keys. Kyuhyun had about enough and was ready for some answers. He only refrained as he would prefer to have that sort of conversation in the light rather than a dark café. He nodded at Yesung's request. He pulled his unwilling hand from Yesung's lower back and waist, though he ensured he squeezed it gently before, as if saying he would be back, walking in the direction Yesung had pointed him in. The lights had to be there somewhere right? He approached the wall instructed, pressing large fingers against the wall, trying to find that elusive switch. How did Yesung know it was there or better yet, it better be there! With great difficulty, well not exactly difficulty but perhaps more annoyance than anything else, he was able to find the switch atleast five feet from where Yesung was indicating that it was, pressing the smack button triumphantly.

Kyuhyun turned around to gloat at his great ability to locate troublesome light switches but instead was left sort of breathless. To say he was surprised would be an understatement of great proportions. He was positive he looked almost comical, with his mouth hanging open slightly, eyes wide and enlarged, the words caught somewhere in his throat, hands out in a gesture that he couldn’t really identify properly.

The darkness he realized did an amazing job of concealing the perfection that was now before his eyes. The cafe was  what he expected to be perfectly honest. It was nice and warm with a homely feel, couches and soft chairs instead of the hard metallic sets that one would expect, the decor in soft beiges and calming browns, the walls covered in trinkets and family oriented paintings meant clearly to give a comforting feel, books lined the walls in some places, not the sleek shiny prints but those old hard covered classics of all colours, Kyuhyun wanting to reach forward and just run his hands throw the yellow pages, but at the moment his attention was completely caught by the small table that stood in the out from the rest, placed in front of one of the window walls at the front of the cafe. It was not distant from the other furniture but clearly meant to be special. The table cloth a soft maroon sort of colour, but he was sure it had some fancy name that he didn’t know, the legs a long bit of carved wood, completed with two similarly carved chairs with matching coverings and finishing. The table itself had a fine candle stick, with gold patterning and two red candles, that he supposed was meant to illuminate the soft pastries and cakes that was laid out on the table with a china tea set, Kyuhyun now noticing that the rest of the fairly large rooms had scented candles and flowers distributed to contribute to a feeling of celebration.

 With eyes roaming and mouth still slightly agape, he finally turned to the man that had brought him there, naturally taking a few uneasy steps towards the man that brought him there, really not sure exactly what he was feeling in that moment, feeling so much that it was hard to really quantify or explain properly. He knew  he was surprised and slightly confused and more than likely he was happy, thrilled even, touched at the act, embarrassed that he was so happy and shy to face the man, still annoyed that Yesung couldn’t just say that he had planned something but a little impressed that he had managed to organize something like that, then back to confusion. He was not imagining it...right? Yesung had indeed just basically recreated the cafe scene that had caused them both a little sadness and longing...right? He did it for Kyuhyun? The younger man was in a position of never ending emotion and for the first time in a long time was probably speechless. With wide eyes and a smile emerging from somewhere in his core as he took a few more steps towards the shy looking man, Yesung also seemingly shy, with rosy cheeks and soft eyes.

“I was supposed to say ‘Surprise!’ but I was so nervous I forgot. You are surprised though….right?” Yesung questioned with a nervous chuckle, eyes darting about as he tried to make himself seem small, the shyness and embarrassment clawing at his insides, wanting to disappear or atleast stop his heart from pounding in his chest, nearly deafening, having to resist the urge to turn around and just leave and go hide in his room. Seriously...he even forgot to say surprise....it was not a very auspicious start. The only thing keeping him in his position was Kyuhyun walking towards him. He didn’t think he would ever have the strength to walk away from Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun smiled despite his emotional storm, amazed that how adorable the older man was, especially with his fiddling with his fingers, eyes downcast and staring at the floor, only lifting his head to steal glances at Kyuhyun, then shyly returning his eyes back to the interesting but not that interesting  floor, black jean clad leg drawing patterns on the floor, as he shuffled about a bit, waiting apparently for a reason. Kyuhyun was tempted to smother him in a tight hug and in fact that was all that occupied his mind thereafter, putting everything else out of his mind in that moment, quickening his steps as he approached the older man, still somehow surprising Yesung, who gasped when he threw his arms around him, dragging him bodily into his welcoming arms, wrapping himself tightly in his embrace, hands splayed across Yesung's small back, the older man taking a breath, hands still left awkwardly at his side, too shocked to react, as Kyuhyun smothered him, pulling him closely in each second, his face having no choice rest against Kyuhyun’s shoulder, shifting with each tug closer to be buried in the cervix at his throat, his body moulding against the younger man, Kyuhyun inching closer and closer, hands spreading and extending on Yesung's back until he was cradled in Kyuhyun’s arms, body pressed against him completely, Kyuhyun’s own head leaning down to bury himself in Yesung's hair and throat, his cap being dislodged a fair bit. Yesung finally reaching his hands around to hold on to Kyuhyun, spread them across the younger’s back, holding on to him as close as possible, drawing on his back, his breath laboured from the tightness of the embrace, his mind clouding over in an apple scented daze, barely conscious that he couldn’t breathe.

 Kyuhyun not much better, his mind a tornado of emotions, so much so that he felt as if he were floating, the only thing holding him to the earth was the warmth of the man in his arms and the scent of coffee and cinnamon, not being able to produce much coherent thought, only one thing repeated in his mind, a continuous need ,urging him to hold Yesung close and then closer than that. He wanted him so close that he would never be apart, as if they were on. He had so many things he had to process, had to consider, but just then he just wanted to felt the pounding of a heartbeat that wasn’t his own against his chest, and get lost in the sweet smell of Yesung's skin. He would wonder about the butterflies and the thrills and all those things later. He only wanted Yesung….just Yesung.

Each second the hold tightened, impossibly so, Yesung now practically craved into Kyuhyun, his smaller frame lost in the broadness of Kyuhyun’s strong chest. He remembers that he hated feeling small, yet somehow he didn’t mind, his heart happy to be lost in Kyuhyun’s chest, his heart beat still frightfully erratic, his breathes short and grasps, his arms turning white from the grip he had on Kyuhyun’s back and still he didn’t feel close enough to him, letting his mind forget that he was having problems breathing, Kyuhyun’s grip gentle but suffocating. Kyuhyun insisting on pulling him closer, even if somewhere in his mind he knew that there was no room to be breaches, no space to yield. He could feel Yesung's heart thumping against his chest and the contours of his stomach muscles ripple when he adjusted against him, his hands feelings the slight tremors Yesung made with each movement closer, his hair brushing against Kyuhyun’s jaw line and cheeks teasingly, the scent of his skin strong and heady, Kyuhyun inhaling rapidly, his body craving the scent, just holding the person he loved the most in arms, refusing to let go. Then he felt it. The small push.

“Ky…Kyu…Kyuhyun ah…I..I can’t….breathe” Yesung stuttered with considerable effort, his eyes closed, his breath laboured, his hands unwrapping from around Kyuhyun, trying to create some sort of separation. He held on as long as he could, ignoring the pain in his body, the sharp pulls against his lungs with every strained breathe he took. Kyuhyun’s hands were warm and fit perfectly against him, as if they were made to be there, yet his grip was tight. Not painful by themselves but with the closeness of their bodies, it forced his lungs to constrict from the pressure applied to his upper body. His mind had registered that his ability to breathe was being impeded but he had pushed it all aside, wanting only to focus on Kyuhyun and the happiness that pulled at his insides. He could bear the pain, he could take short breathes, he really could, until he couldn’t. The pain was mild on his body, but the longer he strained his chest the more striking the pain became, until he felt a burning sensation in his throat, different from the gentle fire that he was experiencing from Kyuhyun’s touch. He wanted to let it all go and just stay in Kyuhyun’s arms but that warning bell in his mind kept ringing, stronger than blind endless affection it would seem, forcing him to try for an escape, spitting out the words as best as he could, trying  to extract himself as best as he could though not having much success.

“Kyu ah….. let go! You’re….. suffocating…. me…..I can’t ….breathe..Kyu ah ” Yesung tried again, breath in even shorter gasp, the pain in his chest tight now intense, pushing the other thoughts away, insisting that he fix the problem now, shifting and twisting his body to get out of Kyuhyun’s hold, his hands trying t o sneak in between the space at the sides to push at Kyuhyun’s chest, when the younger did not response. He opened his eyes with great effort, trying to find Kyuhyun’s gaze, then realized that he was in the wrong position to do so, eyes gazing around for something to alert Kyuhyun to his predicament; the younger seemingly too dazed to hear his voice. He understood, feeling no resentment. He was in a similar situation seconds ago, only the body’s natural need to protect itself pulling him out of his gaze. 

His chest was now pulling against itself. He had to do something that would make Kyuhyun listen to him. It was brash and scary but he had to do it. Then was not the time for shyness. He leaned forward and bit down as hard as he could on the smooth apple scented skin of Kyuhyun’s throat, teeth digging into the skin, holding back as not to hurt him, just enough to give him a shock, to jolt him out of his daze to release him, not entirely, just enough so he wouldn’t die or suffer continued pain. His teeth dug into the skin with a bit of force, still conscious not to leave a scar, the result instantaneous. Kyuhyun’s head pulling away from his hair, his weigh shifting back, his eyes flying open with shock, a gasp being released from his mouth, the necessary separation being created for Yesung to speak to him.

“Kyu ah…..you need  to let go. I can’t breathe” Yesung used all his energy to look up at Kyuhyun and speak as clearly as he could; hoping the daze and the shock in Kyuhyun had cleared enough for his message to get through. If it didn’t then he would have to do something violent. He really didn’t want to have to knee Kyuhyun in the groin. He was positive that would put a rather pitiful damper on the romantic mood that had developed and needless to say, he was not enthusiastic to perform such an action. He just wanted to breathe and then he would hug Kyuhyun and thank him for being so amazing and tell him all the things he wanted to say to him. He needed to not pass out to do that. Kyuhyun would have to just forgive him for biting him, hopeful that Kyuhyun was able to understand that he needed him to let go.

He looked at Kyuhyun’s eyes or atleast tried to, thrilled when recognition seemed to be taking form, Kyuhyun eyes widening, frown forming automatically, then fear, his body reacting instantaneously. He released his hold in the speed of light, his arms falling away as if they were touching fire, his chest rocking back, head pulling away, the look of horror overcoming his face, just as Yesung took those long awaited gulps of air, his mouth and nose as much as possible, coughing from the effort, trying his hardest to suppress them, seeing Kyuhyun’s eyes darken with each bitter cough he released, his body feeling liberated, his muscles relaxing and the pain in his chest subsiding little by little. Kyuhyun looked at him with frightened eyes, his mouth opening but no words being realized, the shock and horror rendering him speechless, pulling his body away, trying to get away from Yesung. Even in his current flustered state, Yesung had the presence of mind to keep an eye on Kyuhyun. He saw the look in the younger’s eyes, he saw the regret and the fear and the horror and the pain and he knew he couldn’t let it foster, let it grow.

He had no resentment for Kyuhyun. He was positive his grip on Kyuhyun’s back was strong enough to suffocate the younger man as well, only being prevented from doing so because of Kyuhyun’s much larger frame and quite possibly his baby hands, but he was just going to blame in on the fact that Kyuhyun was pretty well built in comparison to him. He knew they were both caught in the moment and if he was honest, he would have been willing to say, that they liked it, despite the pain. It was actually quite a scary thought. He would have stayed right there, lost in Kyuhyun’s warmth, if not for his body forcing him to retreat. He supposed it was a romantic thought, but such a concept was downright scary. Shouldn’t care more about his wellbeing? He couldn’t be that blind, shouldn’t be that lost to reality, yet he suspected that he more than likely was. It was a surreal realization, one that gave him a bit of pain but he was willing then to accept it for what it was. He loved Kyuhyun and wished to be with him always, willing to endure pain and to suffer. That could never be wrong, once it was controlled. He would ponder on those matter later however, something much pressing had to be resolved first, made absolutely necessary by Kyuhyun’s movement, the younger man showing clear intentions of pulling away, his feet reaching back to retreat and Yesung knew he had to act that very second. One large gulp of air and he moved.

“You aren’t going anywhere” Yesung insisted as he threw his arms around Kyuhyun’s waist, his body moving in a rush, filling a slight burn in his lungs from the action, moving his body much too quickly, the oxygen debt not yet appropriately repaid, yet he didn’t care. He had to do it. He had to stop Kyuhyun from pulling away from him. It was clear to him that Kyuhyun was weary of him now, weary of hurting him, afraid and guilty and no matter what happened he was not going to let Kyuhyun leave his side. He had worked much too hard to have him there and in his arms for the younger to be upset by the fact that they were both idiots that didn’t realize that they couldn’t hold on to each other that tightly. It was just unfortunate that he was smaller than Kyuhyun and his body, whilst muscular and well toned was comparatively frailer. Neither of them expected it to end that way and in truth, he more than contributed. If Kyuhyun was just slightly smaller, he would be the one that couldn’t breathe.

He didn’t want Kyuhyun to think he did something wrong, didn’t want him to withdraw from him, didn’t want the younger to feel guilt, to think he had hurt him. He knew what that look in Kyuhyun’s eyes meant. He had seen it before, when he had fallen off that bed. Kyuhyun was already blaming himself for causing him pain, when in reality he was the one at fault. He was the one that didn’t have the good sense to realize that he couldn’t breathe sooner. He had to ensure that Kyuhyun knew that, that he knew that he was alright and that Kyuhyun had caused no harm. He held on for dear life, his arms around Kyuhyun’s waist tight, but careful not to be too tight this time, impeding Kyuhyun’s movement, the younger man having to steady his step and Yesung at the same time, Yesung not even looking at him, instead resting his head on Kyuhyun’s chest, looking to his side, eyes closed, as he continued to take those much needed breathes of air, feeling much better with each quick exhale. Kyuhyun’s awkward and hesitant movements surrounding him, the younger clearly afraid to touch him, though he could feel Kyuhyun’s eyes on his head, the maknae making no other effort to touch him, hands kept mid air, clearly restraining himself from touching him, his breath short and held. He was nervous, Yesung could tell from his heartbeat. It was actually sort of endearing. He couldn’t let him continue that way though. He had to draw him closer. He released one of his hands from Kyuhyun’s waist, blindly stretching his hand to the side, smiling when his wrist held on to Kyuhyun’s  forearm, Kyuhyun making some indiscernible sound low in his throat at the contact, uttering something that was in line with a promise when Yesung pulled the hand to place it on his back, Kyuhyun immediately trying to pull away. Yesung took a deep breath and did it then.

He lifted his foot and stamped down hard on Kyuhyun’s toes, a deliberate well thought out action, meant to inflict pain, though he held back, balancing his weight as to not really injure Kyuhyun but to cause him some discomfort. Kyuhyun reacted instantly, pulling back with a yelp, Yesung being dislodged in the process but he didn’t mind, Kyuhyun’s face turning red, eyes closed as he tried to reach for his foot, Yesung standing there, looking at him in amusement. Kyuhyun was rather adorable in such a situation. Yesung was sorry he had to cause him pain, but he had a definite purpose and he intended to follow through, Kyuhyun finally lifting his head, to look at him, still cursing at everything for his injured foot. Yesung laughed softly once, before he was ready to deal with him, reaching forward to grab onto Kyuhyun’s face, hands on either side of is soft slightly scarred cheeks, Kyuhyun now rendered silent, looking at Yesung with annoyance and confusion. The older man gripped his face firmly, pulling down to eye level before he spoke.

“You are sorry and I am sorry. You are alright and I am alright. It’s settled now. Don’t you dare pull away again or you will be sorry” Yesung spoke fairly sternly, the warning clear, looking Kyuhyun did in the eyes, making very clear to Kyuhyun that he was not interested in apologies or exclamations of guilt, nor was he willing to let the issue be discussed further. He had stomped on Kyuhyun’s feet, so that the younger would understand that things like that happened, and there was no harm done and that Kyuhyun should get over it. Sometimes they would hurt each other unintentionally. It would be rather tiresome if they both acted like the world ended each time it did. They had to be conscious of each other’s feelings but also recognize that neither were dolls and could survive small knocks and accidental mild injuries. He knew that applied to his treatment of Kyuhyun as well, meaning he would have to stop coddling the younger so much, but thus far, he was more interested in letting Kyuhyun know he didn’t have to act as if he had done something reprehensible and feel guilty about it. When Kyuhyun did not respond immediately he shook his head for him, up and down, giggling to himself, his face now much softer and kind, making his eyes get larger, then smaller in turn, entertaining Kyuhyun, hoping the younger would understand his intention and not feel offended that he had hurt him. He wanted Kyuhyun to be happy. It was most definitely not his intention for the evening [morning?] to progress as it had, but he was willing to try his best, puffing out his cheeks now, thrilled when Kyuhyun smiled.

“You are freaking insane. I hope you atleast know that” Kyuhyun rejoined finally, looking at Yesung with disbelieving eyes, shaking his head as a means of reaction to the insane situations he often found himself in with Yesung, lifting his hands upwards to pry the warm hands from his cheeks and to have some mobility in his face, Yesung permitting the action willingly, allowing him to dislodge his hold, though he kept the hands firmly with his grasp, rubbing his thumps across the plains as he looked at Yesung with an exasperated sigh. He would never understand what on earth went though Yesung's mind he swears. Every time he thinks he can finally understand his mind, he goes and does something completely unexpected and Kyuhyun once again thinks he is lost in the wilderness when it comes to Yesung. He wouldn’t have it any other way really, but it is not the best way to treat his sanity in all fairness. He was pulled in all directions with Yesung. A minute ago he was horrified that he had hurt him, now he was wondering what would be the best way to strangle him. The older man was a mystery to him even then. He didn’t know what he would ever do with him, but he was glad that he had the opportunity to figure it out, chuckling when Yesung made a face at his words, mildly offended that Kyuhyun had called him insane.

 Kyuhyun however was willing to stand by his words. He had no doubt about it. Yesung was insane, completely and indisputably insane. No matter how cute he acted, there was no changing Kyuhyun’s mind on that point. Which sane person stamped on the person they loved feet, just to make a point?  He could have really hurt Kyuhyun! Then he apologized and threatened him in the same breathe. There had to be something wrong with Yesung, and he knew there was wrong with him. Even when he knew that Yesung was insane, he still loved him and wanted nothing more than to be at his side. He was clearly insane as well, make no mistake about that.

“How can you just say that? You could have hurt my feelings” Yesung informed, but spoke with a fair degree of mirth, so as to indicate that he had no real animosity to what was said. It was not the first time he had heard something like that and he knew that Kyuhyun had no ill intention. Kyuhyun often always meant well when it came to him and could recognize that Kyuhyun was teasing, even he was sure that Kyuhyun meant it. It was only interesting that Kyuhyun made no effort to shield his words, though with Kyuhyun that was to be expected. The younger man was frank by nature and rarely had qualms about saying what he meant. He was different from Yesung in that way and it was something that Yesung really admired. He was smiling at Kyuhyun then, unable to keep his face in the right stern expression to get his would be indignation across. He wasn’t hurt and couldn’t fake it, not when Kyuhyun was looking at him with his adorable ‘are you kidding me’ eyes. The younger was much too hard to resist naturally. He didn’t even bother to try.

“Are your feelings hurt then?” Kyuhyun questioned, fiddling with Yesung's fingers, twirling them around, lifting then to his eyes, examining them, noting that Yesung was still biting his nails, Kyuhyun shaking his head at him, Yesung looking a little sheepish, trying to pull his hands away, but Kyuhyun was having none of that, pulling them to rest against his chest securely, now turning his attention to Yesung’s eyes  completely, lifting that eyebrow of his, waiting for Yesung to respond, a smirk playing at his lips, his mind already determining that Yesung would be unable to say much in that regard, the older man scrunching his nose in response.

“No” Yesung responded with a grumble, pulling a face at Kyuhyun in his dissatisfaction, unable to actually claim that he was slighted in the least, Kyuhyun knowing that quite well, asking the question to get under his skin, now laughing at him with glee, Yesung glaring at him in response to the action he viewed as a slight, Kyuhyun just laughing a bit more.

 Yesung's cheeks got warm when he realized that he was rarely ever able to be mad at Kyuhyun, deciding that he really didn’t like a smirking Kyuhyun, wanting it to end, pressed himself once more against the younger’s chest, Kyuhyun this time freely holding him, though his hold was exceedingly light, barely there brushes after he released his fingers. Yesung leaned his head against Kyuhyun’s chest comfortably, no longer wanting to continue in that light, closing his eyes as he prepared himself for what was to come. He still had a rather significant act to perform. He didn’t know if he really had enough courage to do it though. He was shy and it would be had hard for him to get the words out without swallowing his tongue. Then he had to contemplate if it was appropriate to do what he had planned to begin with. It was already so late, the night was practically ruined, and he didn’t even get to light the candles or make the coffee. He had let everything fall through his fingers and he didn’t think it was fair to Kyuhyun to do something like that in such a manner.

Kyuhyun deserved perfection, someone that could do suave romantic things that could move his heart, not a fail like him. If he did it then and things went even worst? There would be no way he would be able to salvage anything. Maybe he should just let Kyuhyun get something to eat and then let him go back to the dorms. Most of the preparations were now ruined as well. He didn’t get to light candles, the atmosphere didn’t have the romantic lighting going for it,  the coffee was now cold and he wasn’t sure he knew how to make proper coffee anymore, the decorations now all looks sort of weak and he was feeling sort of tired. Then, he just knew he would stumble and bite on his words, then he would just embarrass himself and Kyuhyun would hate him!.........Alright…he was being dramatic . Kyuhyun wouldn’t hate him. No matter what that self depreciating voice claimed, he knew better. Kyuhyun would never hate him. He loved him much too to hate him. He knew that. Yet, that was exactly why he was hesitant. Kyuhyun loved him so much, way more than he could ever deserve or reciprocate. He didn’t want to disappoint Kyuhyun, didn’t want him to have to experience his failing. Kyuhyun was someone that deserved to be treated like the prize he was, not be forced to ensure his failed brand of affection. The worst part was that he knew Kyuhyun would still appreciate it. He was so useless with things like that, that even if he was unsuccessful Kyuhyun would still be grateful. He had treated the younger so badly, that he was ashamed of himself really. Why couldn’t he be atleast a little romantic? Why couldn’t be close to what someone like Kyuhyun was supposed to be in love with? He was alright lacking, simply because he wasn’t female, then he had to go and be a total fail. It was not fair to Kyuhyun at all. He sighed.

He burrowed closer to Kyuhyun, just holding on to him, the warmth seeping through his clothes, Kyuhyun’s heartbeat ringing in his ears, holding on to the person that he loved, wondering how he was supposed to proceed, his breathe gentle as he tried to clear is mind and determine his course of action as well. He was just standing there. It was not making sense to just be wasting precious time just doing nothing, but he just wanted to hold on to Kyuhyun for a few minutes. He needed to come to a decision, yet he didn’t know if he was brave enough to go through with it still. All his obstacles could be overcome; if he just got that part then maybe he could save the whole thing. The problem was that he didn’t have the confidence to do it properly, to say the words he wanted to say, to speak his mind and show his heart. He wasn’t good with things like that. He was alright with saying obvious things but when it came to his feelings, he was rarely able to say the right words or express himself in the best way. Did he really think rambling through something like that was worth it? He was so frustrated, it was his soul, he thought. Then he felt it. The arms wrapping around him, holding him in place, gentle and soft, long fingers sprayed across his back, rubbing gentle , forearms resting against his waist, all done delicately, barely there touches, Kyuhyun’s head bending to rest his chin on his head, then lower, to rub his cheek against his hair and his temples, a soft press of lips against his skin, a calming, thrilling feeling all at the same time. Kyuhyun didn’t say anything and made no action that he wanted Yesung to speak, instead just holding close, intimate and delicate.

“You can hide as long as you want. You can tell me why we are here when you are ready” Kyuhyun whispered soothingly near Yesung's ear. This time it was not meant to tease, just meant to comfort. He was not an idiot. He had a fair idea why Yesung had brought him there. The atmosphere or rather what was supposed to be the atmosphere was a clear indicator of his intention. There was no doubt in his mind that Yesung had intended for it to be a romantic evening, the very idea making him quit happy.

 He could admit that he was confused as to why or what exactly he had in mind but he knew that Yesung wanted to give him the café date that they were envious of, and for that he was already very touched, very thankful. He was curious as to why he would do something like that then though. Yesung's birthday was the next day and Kyuhyun was theoretically the one that should have been doing like that. He should be surprising Yesung in the middle of the night, not the other way around. He was slightly embarrassed about that, but consoled himself with the fact that he was justified in not pursuing something like that. Yesung had made it clear that he was preoccupied and then they had to go to Japan on his birthday. Kyuhyun was just hoping he would have him to himself for a few hours at some point to greet him properly and give him his gift, then smother him in kisses and things like that. He didn’t want to pressure Yesung when he was busy and it was his birthday after all. He wanted him to have some breathing room.

It was only now that he realized that the older man had used his breathing room to go and do something for him. He could strangle him for being such a considerable wonderfully sweet idiot. Why did he always put Kyuhyun first? He was serious when he said he didn’t care about the stupid café thing. He just wanted to be with him. Things like that really didn’t matter to him. If he was sitting at home locked in a stuffy room, once Yesung was wrapped in his arms it would be perfection. He didn’t need or want things like that, but he was grateful to Yesung. Happy that he always cared enough to do things to make him happy, to do things that he thought would make Kyuhyun happy. The man was so much to him, cared so much about him that it frightened him sometimes. He didn’t know what he did to deserve so much love, so much care, so much affection.

He had always been lucky in life. He had been blessed with endless well wished and affections since he could remember, but he could never remember being loved the way Yesung loved him, save maybe his parents. He was cherished and adored, treated with reverence, coddled and cradled, regarded with intense affection. He had been loved before but never quite like that. It was a surreal experience, something that often seemed like a dream. He had a thankful heart towards the man in his arms, the affection he had for him growing with each second, with every detail his eyes caught within the room. Yesung must have loved him so much to even try to something like this for him. He would never be able to repay him, but he was going to try.

His first act was to hold him close and lend him his strength. He knew that doing something like that was hard for Yesung, especially with things not going the way they should. Kyuhyun pieced it together rather quickly when Yesung buried himself in his arms. He knew that Yesung was fighting his disappointment and his sorrow that things did not go his way, that he was shy and uncertain. Kyuhyun knew him well enough to know what plagued his mind then and it saddened him. It hurt his own heart to know that Yesung didn’t realize that the fact that he was standing there with him already made everything perfect, that he didn’t realize that Kyuhyun could care less about lit candles and whatever else he was unsatisfied with. The fact  the he thought it necessary to prepare something like that in the first place was enough to have him shouting from the hills. He prays that one day Yesung would truly understand how much he loved him, how much he appreciated him, just how grateful he was to have his love, to share his life, to be the protector of his heart. Kyuhyun hoped with his all heart that Yesung would truly understand just how perfect he was in Kyuhyun’s eyes.

Until then however, Kyuhyun was contend to hold him in his arms and lend him his strength, to be his pillar of support, to be the chest he could rest against again, or to hide against as the case was. He knew the reason Yesung was clinging to him them was due to his shyness and his uncertainty, no doubt feeling weary and hesitant. He could feel it in his limbs, in his breathe, in the fact that his fingers were gripping onto his coat. Yesung was seeking comfort and he was more than willing to provide it. He could hide in his arms as long as he wanted, until he was ready to do whatever it was that he planned. Kyuhyun hoped that his embrace would give him the confidence he needed just then. He was not going to force him or pressure him, instead he was going to be his strength, his support, the person that encouraged him. Kyuhyun hoped that the warmth of his arms would be enough to convince Yesung that he didn’t care what went wrong, that he was just grateful to be there, that he was happy to hold him in his arms, that everything was perfect. Yesung had made no real movement other than to shyly nod his head, Kyuhyun chuckling warmly at his cuteness, before pressing a couple more soothing kisses to the older man’s forehead, trying not to think about how awesome it was to be there like that. He let his mind wonder to what exactly Yesung had in mind. Clearly he wanted to recreate their café date from the magazine. Just that was perfect enough for him. He supposed he really wanted to sit at the table and gaze out of the window, but staying where he was wasn’t that bad either. He had really appreciation for his position actually, smiling as he felt Yesung shift against him.

“I am not hiding, just thinking I guess” Yesung mumbled from somewhere against his chest before pulling back slightly to look him in the eye, smiling sheepishly at him, taking all of Kyuhyun’s will power not to squish him, afraid that he would hurt him again. Yesung had heard Kyuhyun’s words and felt his heart lightened. He understood what Kyuhyun meant and he was grateful to have his support. He was still uncertain, but he wanted to do it. That was his intention to begin with. Actions like those just proved by he had to do it. Kyuhyun deserved to know that he loved him. Even if he was a fail and couldn’t do anything right, he could atleast assure the younger man about his feelings. He clearly couldn’t give Kyuhyun anything else, the least he could do was love him. Not just love him, to ensure that Kyuhyun knew that someone loved him that much.

Even if he had to swallow his tongue to get the words out, he owed Kyuhyun atleast that. Even then Kyuhyun was being his strength, protecting him from the world and his own thoughts, shouldn’t he return the favour? Shouldn’t he ensure that Kyuhyun knew just exactly how much he loved him? He was worried though. So many things had gone wrong already. He had messed it up so much, yet he was asking Kyuhyun to accept that now. He was much too brazen for his own good he knew. He was lacking and he was asking Kyuhyun to accept that. He didn’t have the right to do that, but then again he didn’t have the right to drag Kyuhyun out that late in the night and suffering the younger so much without atleast letting him that there was atleast one thing he did right, one thing he could never fail at and that was loving him. Kyuhyun deserved to know that atleast, no know that no matter what happened, he always had his heart.

“Then you can think then” Kyuhyun smiled at him, leaning down slightly to rub his forehead against Yesung's, a soft fluid motion or as fluid as his cap would allow, smiling at the man looking at him with soft eyes, closing when their foreheads touched, brushing his nose against Yesung's cheeks, his arms still wrapped around him gently, happiness in his heart. He knew Yesung was ready to talk to him then, the older man finally meeting his eyes, a steely sort of determination visible  until the shyness took over and he shut his eyes with the movement, Kyuhyun savouring the closeness for as long as possible, grinning when Yesung squirmed a bit, soft adorable giggles leaving his lips.

“It tickles….stop” Yesung breathes, lifting his hands to push him away gently, Kyuhyun taking the hint, pulling back and laughing soundly, amazed that Yesung actually had tickles on his face. Just exactly how sensitive was he? Kyuhyun actually thought that was interesting, though he had to be mindful to end that train of thought quite early having a fair idea where his mind would take him, decidedly not wanting to go there, just then. Yesung stood in his arms watching Kyuhyun laugh with a soft smile, the sound of Kyuhyun’s laughter going straight to his heart; his cheeks red form all the happiness he was feeling. Kyuhyun was perfect and he loved him.

“I love you” Yesung spoke in awe, caught in the moment, saying the only thing that his mind could conceive in that moment, not even realizing that he uttered the words until Kyuhyun stopped laughing abruptly, his head snapping back to look at him in a mixture of shock, awe, happiness and confusion. He didn’t even understand what was happening, just that Kyuhyun was no longer laughing, face taking on an odd expression, his eyes going wide, his mouth hanging open slightly, Yesung titling his head as the confusion overtook him. Why had Kyuhyun stop laughing? Was something wrong? Why was he looking at him like that?

Then it came to him, and just as quickly he was back burrowed into Kyuhyun’s chest, his heart thumping in his chest and his face a burning scary red, eyes closed shut firmly, applying that old adage, if he couldn’t see them, they couldn’t see him, his mind in that panic state, where all it had was  “OMG…OH MY GOD….OHH WHAT DID I JUST DO?” flashing in those bright neon red lights, wishing the earth would just open and take him, positive that was the only way he would survive the embarrassment. He felt something shift against him and the panic increased. He was really seeking refuge in the arms of the person he was too mortified to look at? His mind was screaming for him to make a hasty retreat, only for the rest of him to not so kindly inform that he would more than likely fall flat on his face if he tried to move then. He was much too stunned to move and if was not a good idea anyway. To move meant he would have to see Kyuhyun’s face and he was sure he would die on the spot from the embarrassment.

He knew he intended to say that to Kyuhyun but he was hoping they could have tea and talk about things and eat cake and while he was on a sugar rush he would say it with some grace and eloquence and not just blurt it like an idiot with his face red and then hide in Kyuhyun’s arms. That confirmed it something was wrong with him. He had spent the entire week building up the courage to do it. He had spend atleast two hours begging Ryeowook to convince him that he was not making a mistake, that he could actually stand before Kyuhyun and say “ I love you” after a perfect evening. Ryeowook had told him he was being an idiot, that all he had to do was say it and let it be over with, that it was not as if he had never said it before. He agreed, recalling that he had said the words when he confessed, and when they had their first date but that was weird since they were arguing and he had rambled his way through the whole confession. Clearly he was not very good with expressing his love for Kyuhyun.

He had hoped that he would finally do it right, that he would finally be able to confess to Kyuhyun the way he deserved to be confessed to. He wanted them to sit at the table, to hold hands and sip coffee, speak a bit and then he would do it. He would say the words with conviction and courage and he would be perfect and charming and all those things everyone else was. He knew that was shot to hell when he couldn’t find his phone and ran late, then had to practically beg Kyuhyun to come with him, then the tea had gone cold and he wasn’t there in time to light the candles or anything. He stupidly still had hope though. Maybe he could make fresh tea, and there was still his birthday cake. He and Kyuhyun could have done that, and then he could do it, like a cool charismatic man professing his love. He wanted to just curl up and die. Who ruins their perfect planned confession after they worked all week on it?

 He had to beg so many people to get the café, and not just any café but the perfect café out of a magazine photo shoot. He owed an old classmate more SNSD concert tickets than he thought possible, and those things weren’t cheap! Then he had to deal with friends insisting that he was dating someone, who wouldn’t let it go. They promised him that ‘she’ would love it and then he threw up. It was a harrowing experience just to get the place, even harder to get someone to set it up and took more courage than he thought possible to even get himself and Kyuhyun there. Ryeowook promised him that it would be okay, that Kyuhyun would be happy, that he could say the words. It was an hour long pep talk and he still ruined it. Who on earth did that? Kyuhyun was right. He was insane. He should have known he was fooling himself. He didn’t have a single romantic bone in his body, yet he thought he could pull off something like that. He deserved to be shot. The worst part was that he still didn’t know how he said it. He knew he just did it, but it was so subconscious a reaction that he had no real memory of it. Was it as bad as the first time? Was it as heated as the second? Was he eloquent? Did he stutter? He couldn’t even remember it. Why was he like that? He was starting to think he was cursed. He wondered if it was possible to stop time or better yet just delete it altogether.  He knew he couldn’t.  All he could do was hide in Kyuhyun’s warm arms until they both forgot about it, however long that was. What was he going to do? …arrggghhhh!!!!! He thinks he should cry.

“Hyung…..are you hiding again?” Kyuhyun inquired with a bit of humour, trying to get a look at Yesung's eyes, darting his head about to try and pick the older man’s gaze, chuckling lightly when he realised that Yesung's face was completely buried in his chest, only his ear poking out, Kyuhyun tempted to them but didn’t want to make Yesung more jumpy than he already was.

He was shocked when he heard the words to be honest. It was extremely rare for Yesung to express the sentiment to him, even rarer if he were to only recall the times that he had said it, outside of his sleep talking. It was like a fine artisan melody, created just for him, weaving through his eardrums straight into heart. He would have thought he imagined it, if it was not for the fact that Yesung turned red and dashed for his chest, hiding rather effectively from the world, his small hands grasping at his jacket, hiding his face into the fabric of his shirt, Kyuhyun feeling the quick exhales of his hot breathe in the area. He looked at him in disbelief for nearly a minute, until he was sure that he had actually heard those words. He couldn’t say he was waiting for them, but to actually hear it made him feel a bubbling sort of happiness that he could never describe. It was sweet and heady and he was in glee. If he smiled any larger his jaw would probably burst he was sure. He was in that state when he felt Yesung shifted a bit, going deeper into his chest, taking deep breathes, Kyuhyun tightening his hold, wanting to provide comfort to him.  It was extremely peculiar to seek comfort in the arms of the persons you were avoiding, but it was probably normal for someone like Yesung, who was naturally prone to things that was unexpected and unlikely. To him, Yesung looked adorable hiding in his chest, feeling the need to tease a little, leaning down to question if he was hiding once more.

He didn’t expect Yesung to answer but he did, a muffled ‘yes ’coming from somewhere near his throat, barely discernible, but causing Kyuhyun to chuckle none the less. He didn’t know what he was going to do with Yesung honestly. The man was an adorable bundle of joy and Kyuhyun was always stumped to be in his presence. What was he supposed to with him then? He wanted to hug him tight and kiss him senseless, but had to refrain himself, positive that would be too much for the blushing man then, having to content himself with just holding him close and enjoying the opportunity to be close to him. He finally responded with a nonchalant ‘Okay’, still laughing at Yesung's cuteness, trying to find a method to survive that much emotion all at once. Yesung held on to him for a few minutes more, taking breathes now and then, Kyuhyun returning to rubbing soothing fingers on his back, trying to keep him calm, staying silent to allow him to gather his thoughts and clear his mind. He would continue to be someone Yesung could lean on or in this case use as a hiding spot. He smiled contently as held on to him, until Yesung shifted in his arms, lifting his head and shimming a bit, indicating that he was ready to talk to him, Kyuhyun releasing his hold slightly, allowing Yesung the space to step back if he so deserved, waiting to hear what he had to say, smiling warmly when almond shaped eyes met his, Yesung smiling coyly.

“I wasn’t supposed to say it like that” Yesung spoke then, his voice steady but soft, hesitant but built on strength, choosing not to accept the offered distance, simply pulling himself away far enough to speak to Kyuhyun. He had sent his few minutes gathering his thoughts and ripping his courage from its hiding spots. He was shy and tired and frustrated and he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. He was disappointed and mad at himself for failing once more. He was more than willing to wallow in self pity for the rest of the week or even year, but Kyuhyun’s hand on his back had been a deciding factor. His logic and his intention had remained the same. The entire reason he suffered himself that much was to be able to finally share his feelings with Kyuhyun. If he backed away now, it would all be for naught. His worries and his fears remained the same but his determination was unchanged as well. It was unfortunate that things decided not to follow his thoughts or his hopes; it was disappointing that all his plans were ruined, and it was downright embarrassing to blurt out something like that, yet Kyuhyun’s grip never once wavered, and Yesung's heart remained unchanged in reflection.

He had more experience than he cared to admit or remember in fails. It had become a regular part of his life and he had learnt to deal with them. He would pick himself back up, laugh off the jokes and try again, continued until he was perfect, or atleast not a failure. He had learnt to be stronger during the course of his life, to be more stubborn and to be more determined. It was hard for him to accept that all his hopes were lost but he knew in his soul, it would be more painful, not just for himself but Kyuhyun to let the evening pass and not say what he had to say. He had promised Kyuhyun, what seemed like a lifetime ago, that he would be strong for him, that he would be a better man for him, and he had not been very diligent in keeping that promise. Kyuhyun however, had kept all his promised. He said he would stay by his side and even after all the hardships they had to endure he had never, not even once released his hands, he had protected and loved him and it was about time Yesung kept his promise. It would be hard but supposed it would be easier than dealing with his mind and his heart if he failed to make it right. He was ready to be the person Kyuhyun should love, or atleast he was going to try. The shyness however refused to leave him, but that was to be expected. He was going to try his best say what he needed though, he knew he would need Kyuhyun’s support to do it, choosing to stay in his arms.

♥규성♥

A/N: Much too long, so I have to split it. This part is 22K.