Sehun tries to act thankful when his Mandarin tutor gives him a pocket dictionary a month in advance for his birthday, but it's a bit hard considering that it's a dictionary. Still, he forces a small smile on his lips as he slowly places it on his desk.

"I know it's a month early, but I figured you need it now," Luhan explains, setting up the table as he speaks.

"Thanks," he says through gritted teeth.

Luhan turns and glances at Sehun, laughing softly. Sehun pretends his heart doesn't skip a beat at the sight, because the sun always hits Luhan's hair at the right angle and his teeth are too white and dazzling.

Sometimes, Sehun wonders what would have happened had he gotten a normal-looking tutor.

Chinese would probably be a lot less interesting, honestly.

"You're welcome. Now let's get cracking on that assignment you got." He leans over and grabs the book, and Sehun sighs.

The tutoring session goes fairly well. Sehun is slowly but surely getting the tones down correctly, and when Luhan beams at him, he doesn't flush as red anymore. Luhan is packing up his stuff when he pauses, and then asks, "Are you doing anything after this?"

Sehun blinks. Is this what he think it is? "Uh no. Why?" Act cool, Sehun, act cool, he tells himself as he tries to put on an apathetic look, but it’s really anything but.

"I have nothing to do after this, so if you want, maybe we could go and get some bubble tea?" he asks, smiling a little. Sehun pretends that he's thinking about it, but he already knows his answer immediately.

"Sure."

Luhan's smile widens and he finishes putting back the last notebook into his backpack. "Okay. Let's go – oh, wait. How do you say 'let's go get some milk tea'?" he asks, grinning now as he waits expectantly for Sehun’s answer.

Sehun huffs, knowing he should have foreseen this. "Uhh we go drink bubble tea?" he tries, squinting at the wall behind Luhan as he tries to remember.

Luhan laughs, and Sehun breathes out. "Close enough."




 

•

Much to Sehun's delight, these invitations after their sessions become more frequent. There's always a catch though – Luhan would point at something and ask him to name it in Mandarin, and sometimes it would take Sehun two minutes just to find the word in his dictionary, and another two to pronounce it correctly. Fortunately, Luhan is patient and helps him encouragingly.

"What's this?" Luhan asks, pointing to a leaf falling from a tree.

Sehun hesitates before slowly saying, "Leaf?"

Luhan smiles. "Good job. You even pronounced it perfectly! You're getting a lot better now, you know?"

Of course, Sehun thinks. Now that he’s been hanging out with Luhan more often, he’s been exposed to Mandarin more as well. It’s a win-win situation.

They're in the park right now, walking home from the cafe Sehun introduced to Luhan. Luhan's looking around curiously, and Sehun's just trying to not focus on how close they are and how little he would have to stick out his hand to touch Luhan's.

And just his luck – or maybe misfortune, depends on how you look at it – when a group of kids run by, accidentally pushing Luhan into Sehun's side.

"Oh, sorry!" he apologizes, immediately pulling back. Sehun is sure he's not imagining the pink hue on the older's cheeks. "So, ahem, what were those called?"

"Little people?" Sehun replies in Mandarin, smiling as Luhan chuckles.

"Yeah, but also...?"

"Kids," Sehun says. "That's easy."

"Oh really? Fine, then give me a sentence explaining what they were doing." Luhan crosses his arm, eyebrow arched in amusement as he waits.

"The kids... run fast... to the swingset. They push past my boyfriend." Sehun and Luhan's eyes widen at the same time, and Sehun realizes his mistake. "Wait, no, I meant – like a friend, who's a boy – not boyfriend – I didn't –"

Luhan's laughter stops Sehun in his tracks, the older hunched over, one arm on Sehun's shoulder and the other on his stomach. "Oh my gosh, Sehun, you're too cute. I know what you meant. No need to freak out or anything."

Sehun wonders which is more embarrassing: calling Luhan his boyfriend or being called cute by Luhan.

•

Luhan is singing quietly under his breath when Sehun enters the room, bag pulled over his shoulder. He backtracks to make sure the radio isn't on or anything, but sure enough, it's Luhan's voice filling the air with a soft melody.

"Wow, you're really good," he comments, awe lacing his voice.

Sehun notices the way Luhan’s shoulders tense and the room goes almost completely silent, as if Luhan’s stopped breathing. He frowns, walking over to drop his bag down and sit beside him.

“Thanks,” Luhan replies stiffly, staring straight into a Chinese book without sparing Sehun a glance. “So,” he starts, clearing his throat. “You’re going to read this page and write me a summary of it.”

“In Mandarin?” Sehun asks weakly, not looking forward to this.

Luhan laughs a little, taking out a sheet of paper for him. “Yes, in Mandarin.”

Sehun sighs, pulling the book over and starting to read. He’s always had difficulty with Chinese characters though; they were so much more complicated than Korean ones in Sehun’s eyes. He recognized a few here and there, such as “I” or “no”, but it was really hard to make sense of most of it.

“I – can you read it to me instead?” Sehun asks meekly, glancing up at Luhan from below his bangs.

Luhan smiles softly with a nod. “Sure.” He pulls the book so that it’s in the middle, and before he reads, he looks to Sehun and says, “But you’re going to have to learn more characters. I know your parents are more concerned with the speaking part of it, but reading and writing is important too.”

“I know,” Sehun sighs, and Luhan’s lips quirk.

“Okay,” Luhan says, then he begins reading.

It’s a really cheesy story, an old retelling of a couple who endured the toughest of hardships to come out on top. It’s short and sweet, though.

Afterwards, Luhan asks him questions aloud, and Sehun writes down the answers to the best of his ability.

“What word best describes the relationship between the two characters?” Luhan asks finally.

Sehun answers this with ease, writing down the character for love without hesitation.

•

They finish ordering their lunch together in a small restaurant Sehun frequents at. There was no tutoring session today – Sehun just felt like going out, and he figured he might as well invite Luhan, since the older is often treating him anyway. At least, that’s what he told himself to calm his racing heart after the older agreed to the ‘date’.

“I’ve never been here before,” Luhan starts first.

“Really? It’s good here, and cheap.”

Luhan smiles. “Cheap is good.” Sehun nods and turns to glance out the window, and Luhan rests an elbow on the table. “So, what did you order?”

Sehun glances at him. “You heard me tell the waiter,” he says warily.

“You know what I mean,” Luhan replies with a cheeky grin, and Sehun sighs.

“Ramen with beef –”

“Full sentence, please,” Luhan sings, and Sehun glares at him.

That wasn’t even a full sentence so why should I have to say one? he thinks bitterly to himself. Taking in a deep breath, he starts again, “I order ramen with beef.”

“I should really start teaching you tenses soon,” Luhan thinks to himself out loud, but he smiles and nods appreciatively. “But good job! Just remember to focus on the accents a bit more.”

Luhan continues to talk about random things, like how he likes how they’ve decorated the place, while asking Sehun for translations here and there. Sehun listens, but he can’t help but notice how Luhan’s eyes keep wandering over to the counter.

When Sehun turns to see what’s there, his heart clenches.

There’s a waiter standing there - a good looking one - counting the money. Sehun slowly turns back to Luhan, who is still staring that way.

Sehun’s about to comment when their food comes. Luhan eats hungrily, claiming that it was a long day and he really appreciates that Sehun offered to take him out to eat.

Sehun slowly picks up his chopstick, not feeling as hungry anymore. He can't stop thinking about the waiter and how many times Luhan kept looking his way.

He knows the word for this: Jealousy.

•

They’ve finished up a tutoring session, but Luhan’s too tired to leave. Without hesitation, Sehun offers to let Luhan stay a little bit longer to rest before walking back to his apartment. Luhan chuckles but accepts the invitation gratefully.

“Hey, is that a rubik’s cube?” Luhan asks, his head hanging off the side of the bed lazily as Sehun sits at the table. He points to the colorful object in his closet, and Sehun stands up to retrieve it.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot I had this thing. I hate it. I could never figure it out,” Sehun replies, frowning. He tosses it onto the bed and turns back to organize his closet a little more – it’d be horrifying if Luhan saw his dirty underwear hanging out of his hamper. When he turns around, his jaw drops.

Luhan smiles at Sehun. “Wow, is that an actual expression from you?” he teases, throwing the rubix cube back at the startled boy, who barely manages to catch it in his awe.

“How did you do that?” Sehun asks incredulously, ignoring Luhan’s joke. He slowly takes his seat, unable to take his eyes off of the rubix cube as if it’s all an illusion.

“It’s really easy actually,” Luhan admits. “You just have to figure out the pattern and you can pick it up pretty quickly. I can teach it to you if you’d like.”

Sehun shakes his head. “No thanks. Mandarin’s enough for me.”

Luhan laughs, sitting back up and turning to Sehun. “Whatever you say,” he says with a grin. He continues to look around the room as Sehun examines the rubik’s cube for any tampering. Sehun’s so busy staring at the rubik’s cube that he doesn’t notice Luhan standing up and making his way over to his bookshelf.

“Wow, you’ve won a lot of dancing awards,” Luhan comments, breaking Sehun’s concentration.

“Wha - oh, yeah,” he says, looking up at where Luhan was. He puts the rubik’s cube down and walks over to him.

“I didn’t know you were this good,” Luhan jokes, and Sehun snorts. Luhan glances over the several awards, fingers glazing over the plaques. “Maybe you could show me some time?”

Sehun blinks, and Luhan glances over at him expectantly. “I – yeah, sure. Of course.” Luhan smiles, and Sehun forgets how to breathe.

“What are these called?” Luhan asks after a moment.

“Awards,” Sehun replies with some difficulty, because it wasn’t exactly a word that came up frequently in his studies.

“And how did you feel when you won them?” Luhan continues, smiling at him now.

Sehun can’t help but smile back. “Happy.”

•

Sehun tries not to be disappointed when Luhan texts him, apologizing that he can’t make it to their session today because he has important plans. After all, he should technically be happy, because studying isn’t exactly fun, and now that means he can go to the movies with his friends like they originally planned.

But that doesn’t explain why Sehun still didn’t go, still stayed at the desk, dictionary open in front of him.

He’s trying to find a word for what he is feeling. ‘Confused’, ‘anxious’, ‘dizzy’... maybe I’m sick, Sehun thinks, and he laughs a little at himself. How about ‘pathetic’?

Around a half hour later, Luhan texts him again: “I’m really sorry though! I’ll bring you bubble tea next session to make it up to you! I miss you~”

Sehun sighs, dropping his head onto the dictionary. He tries thinking of the word that can perfectly describe his feelings for Luhan.

He can’t think of one.

✦

Later that evening, around six, he gets another text. Thinking it’s from Jongin again, bragging about how he successfully put his arm around Kyungsoo and how their hands touched when they reached for the popcorn, he almost ignores it. Luckily, he ignores the Chinese characters and hurries to open the message.

“Hey, I’m at the dance studio right now! If you’re not busy, you should come over. Bring your dictionary, too! We can practice,” it reads.

Sehun doesn’t think twice before grabbing his bag and rushing out the door.

He doesn’t live far from the studio, so he’s there in about ten minutes. Almost out of breath, he crashes into the room.

“Wow, you didn’t have to rush, you know,” Luhan says with a laugh. He’s sitting on the floor beside the stereo, two cups of bubble tea by his side, both left untouched.

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” Sehun replies almost pathetically - almost because there’s nothing pathetic about being in love, although there might be about not knowing it.

Luhan smiles softly, gesturing for him to come over. Sehun takes a seat beside him on the floor, holding his backpack in his lap.

"You really didn't have to bring the dictionary," Luhan admits, grinning. Sehun stares, confused. "I just wanted to see you dance," he continues, and his grin turns into a smirk as Sehun reddens.

"Why didn't you just say so," he mumbles, pushing his backpack off of himself and hiding his eyes below his bangs. Luhan laughs, leaning back. Sehun peaks up and wishes he didn't because even under the terrible lights of the studio, Luhan still looks as great as ever.

"I was going to bring music, but I figured you probably have your own that you practice to," Luhan admits, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully. Sehun nods, even though Luhan can't see from this angle.

He starts getting up, pulling his iPod from his sweater's pocket. As he's plugging it in, he glances over at Luhan anxiously. "So, uh, you're just going to sit and watch?" he asks nervously.

Luhan looks his way and beams, and Sehun takes that as a yes.

Sehun isn't usually nervous dancing; those nerves faded with years of practice. But somehow, Luhan's more intimidating than a crowd of strangers, judgers, and dancers.

When the beat starts, Sehun clears his mind completely. He tries to forget Luhan's presence – which is very hard because Sehun's come to notice almost everything about Luhan by now, even the way he breathes – and let his body take control.

The moves are automatic, and Sehun starts to relax as he gets more into it. He can still feel Luhan's stares, but dancing takes away his anxiety. He's not sure how much time passes, but when he finally looks over at Luhan, he realizes the boy is no longer there.

He stops for a moment, lost, when he sees a moving figure beside him. His breath catches in his throat.

It's Luhan.

And he's dancing.

Sehun almost stumbles when he sees Luhan dancing, making his way towards him. He can't believe it – Luhan's amazing. His moves are smooth and natural, the music pulsing through him.

When their eyes meet, Sehun's mind blanks. He starts dancing again, and soon they're dancing together. Sehun's heart is racing, and he's sure it's not from the activity.

They lose track of time until they come crashing on the floor, shoulders bumping as they slump against the wall, exhausted out of their minds. Luhan passes him the bubble tea, and Sehun drinks it thirstily even though it's too sweet for the moment.

"What word would you use to describe this?" Luhan asks, breathing heavily. He glances over, a trace of a smile on his lips and in his eyes.

"Tired?" Sehun tries, and Luhan laughs.

"I meant for the dancing," Luhan says, leaning over to nudge him softly. Sehun's cheeks feel warm, and it's not from the heat.

Sehun sees flashes of Luhan dancing, Luhan smiling, Luhan laughing. Luhan, Luhan, Luhan. He smiles and turns to him, and answers:

"Breathtaking."

•

They walk home together. Sehun insists on dropping Luhan off at his apartment first, even though he's the younger of the two with classes the next morning. Luhan tries arguing, but he allows Sehun to win this time.

They talk about nothing in particular. Luhan asks about competitions, Sehun asks about work; Luhan thinks about life, Sehun thinks about Luhan. Somewhere in between lots of words and thoughts, Luhan reaches over and laces their fingers together.

Sehun glances over nervously, and Luhan flashes him a smile and starts swinging their arms together. He continues talking about dancing, about how he started learning his first year of college because his roommate and now best friend was a big dancer. He admits that he wishes he had more time to practice, but leaves it at that. Sehun wants to ask, but doesn't because he wants to keep their hands together.

They arrive at Luhan's apartment building, and Sehun is reluctant to let go. He opens his mouth to say good night when Luhan presses his warm lips to Sehun's cold cheek.

The words get stuck in his throat, and Luhan laughs. Sehun expects him to ask him to say "good night" in Mandarin, but he doesn't. Luhan just waves and says, "See you tomorrow," before walking into the building.

Sehun's heart registers the right word before his mind does: Bliss.

•

Tomorrow doesn't come soon enough for Sehun. He waits anxiously for a text from Luhan when the boy doesn't show up on time for their usual session at three.

When his phone vibrates on the table, he immediately grabs it and reads the message. "Running late! Sorry, my parents dropped by unexpectedly for a visit. I'll be there in fifteen minutes though. Hope you didn't miss me! ;)"

Sehun frowns because it's not fair that Luhan drives him crazy with just a couple of words and a winking emoticon.

Luhan arrives looking messier than usual, hair not brushed – but still shiny, Sehun notes – and shirt wrinkled. He puts his bag down and sits down, and Sehun notices he looks more tired than usual.

"Are you okay?" he asks with a frown.

"Ask me in Mandarin," Luhan replies, but he doesn't sound as cheerful as he usually does.

"Are you okay?" Sehun asks again without arguing, because he just wants to make sure Luhan's alright.

"Yeah," Luhan finally answers. "Just a bit tired. I slept late last night," he admits.

"Oh. We could hold off for today," Sehun offers immediately. "You can rest and –"

"It's fine, Sehun," Luhan says with a small smile. "Let's just practice."

Today, they work mainly on translating more sentences and speaking. Luhan tries giving him more characters to study, and laughs at the faces Sehun makes afterwards.

When the session is over, Luhan slumps in his seat and lets out a deep breath. Sehun looks over and stares for a moment until Luhan finally returns the glance and asks, "What?"

"I – well, I was wondering if you could sing again," Sehun admits sheepishly. "But it's probably a bad time and it's okay if you don't," he continues hurriedly, and he gulps when Luhan's face doesn't brighten.

"Yeah," he mumbles, looking down. "It's always a bad time for that."

Sehun frowns. "But why? You're so good at it and –"

"Sehun, I just don't sing anymore," Luhan replies, and Sehun can't believe he's lying to him because he heard him himself.

"But –"

"You wouldn't understand," Luhan finally says, picking up his bag. "I'll see you later, Sehun." He stands up and leaves the room without another word, and all Sehun can do is watch.

He doesn't need to look in the dictionary for this word: Hurt.

•

A pillow goes flying across Sehun's room at six in the morning on a Saturday because Sehun is not and never will be a morning person. He grumbles angrily as he falls over his bed to find his cellphone somewhere on the floor, swearing he will hide all of Kyungsoo's non-stick pans if it turns out to be said boy. Kyungsoo is the only one who wakes up early enough after all.

But it's not Kyungsoo - thankfully, because if he were to hide said non-stick pans, Jongin would probably murder Sehun - and the number is unrecognizable. There are Chinese characters in the message though, and Sehun groans because that can only be one person.

"Zitao, why the are you texting me so early in the morning?" Sehun snaps when he calls said boy back. "And whose phone are you calling from anyway?"

"Happy birthday, Sehun! I'm calling from Yifan ge's new phone! Can you understand me?"  he asks in slurred Mandarin, and it gives Sehun a headache so early in the day.

"Speak Korean, dammit. I don't have time to think about this right now."

"Oh fine! You're no fun!"

"No one is at six AM."

"Kyungsoo is -"

"Besides him, but he's weird because he likes Jongin."

"... I'm gonna tell Jongin –"

"I don't care. Now tell me why you called me, or else I swear I'll –"

"Are you really threatening me?" Zitao deadpans.

"... no. Now what is it?"

"Just calling you to remind you to come over to Junmyeon ge's house at five!"

"WHY COULDN'T THIS WAIT UNTIL LATER?!"

"Well I have yoga at seven and I didn't want to forget to tell you or else Yifan ge will get mad at me then -"

"Okay, okay, whatever. See you."

Sehun hangs up before Zitao can reply and throws his phone into his pile of clothes on the floor before falling back asleep.

•

"I don't even know why I'm doing this," Sehun grumbles to himself as he checks himself out in the mirror. "They're probably going to smash my head in the cake and ruin my hair anyway..." He sighs, shaking his head. "I need new friends."

"OH SEHUNNIE."

"New, normal friends." He braces himself for the crash that's about to come in three... two...

Boom! "SEHUN, THERE YOU ARE!"

.... one.

He trudges over and inspects his door. Poor, misused door that suffers from so much slamming. "Hey," he sighs, turning back to the overly excited couple.

"Hey yourself!" Chanyeol exclaims, scooping Sehun up for a bear hug. "Happy nineteenth, man!"

"A year has passed of you being legal!" Baekhyun chimes in, joining in on the man love. Sehun groans, uncomfortable with all of the touching and love.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get this over with. Why are we even using Junmyeon's house anyway?" he asks, walking downstairs.

"Because his place is big and if we trash it, he won't get mad at us, duh," Chanyeol answers with a roll of his eyes, ignoring the glare Baekhyun throws him.

"Besides," Baekhyun interrupts. "It's nice like we're doing anything special. We're just going to hang out like any other normal day." He nudges Chanyeol, who makes an 'O' shape with his mouth and nods enthusiastically in understanding.

"Uh huh, sure," Sehun says, throwing himself into the back of Baekhyun's car. "Whatever you say. Let's just get there alive."

"Of course!" Chanyeol says as he revs the engine.

•

If there was an award for the worst surprise actor in the history of surprise actors, it'd go to Oh Sehun for his performance at his "surprise" party. When he arrives at the house, lights dim and no one in sight, he sighs and waits for it. When his friends pop out of random places - how the hell did Minseok fit behind the TV? - he doesn't even bother with raising an eyebrow.

"Boo! You're no fun!" Jongin pouts, throwing a balloon at him.

"You could've at least acted surprised," Junmyeon says with a frown. "We spent all day decorating for you."

Sehun looks around at the single banner and scattered streamers in the room. There are a couple of balloons here and there, and then random confetti on the table, but other than that, it's not very different.

"We spent part of our day decorating for you," Yifan corrects.

"But we spent that part with hard work!" Junmyeon pipes in.

"Right..." Sehun plops himself on the couch in between Minseok and Jongdae, who seem more interested in the video game than their friend. "I, uh, appreciate the work, guys, but you didn't have to do anything."

"We kind of didn't -" Zitao starts, only to be hit with a warning look from Yifan.

"Well, we did bake a cake for you!" Kyungsoo finally pipes in, resting a hand on Sehun's shoulder while smiling brightly. "And Luhan helped!"

Sehun blanches. "Luhan's here?" he chokes. Of course he didn't expect that; after all, Luhan left yesterday so coldly, and Sehun was sure he messed things up. He wants to be relieved, but he's not sure yet. He doesn't understand why Luhan wouldn't just sing to him when they've already danced together.

"Yeah. You never told me your tutor was so cute. I mean, no wonder you're always so excited about your sessions," Jongin teases, earning him a frown from Kyungsoo and a death glare from Sehun. He's about to reply when a familiar voice pipes up.

"He's never excited about our sessions," Luhan laughs, exiting the kitchen while wiping his hands. "That's why I had to buy him that dictionary, or else he'd never practice."

Sehun's too nervous to make eye contact with Luhan, but the older doesn't seem to care. He plops himself down beside the younger and knocks their knees together, grinning.

"Happy birthday," he says, and Sehun turns to him and breathes out. "I got you an actual gift," Luhan continues with a laugh.

"But you got me the dictionary," Sehun reminds him.

"Yeah, but that's not a real gift. And you're turning nineteen – that's a big deal."

Sehun smiles. "I guess, but you really didn't have to."

Luhan opens his mouth to reply when Jongin yells, "I'm so sick of this!" He picks them up and pushes them into one of the rooms. "You two are so disgustingly cheesy, it's suffocating the room." He then slams the door on the two of them, leaving them in a guest bedroom alone.

"I'm going to kill him," Sehun deadpans, about to open the door and yell at Jongin when Luhan grabs his hand and pulls him towards the bed. Sehun's heart stops and he loses all of his anger at the touch.

"I want... apologize," Luhan starts off after they sit down. Sehun frowns, but lets him continue. "I didn't mean to be all stiff with you the other day. I just... don't really sing these days."

"But why not? You're so good?"

"Thanks," Luhan replies with a small smile. "It's just that – okay, this is going to be kind of embarrassing, but I used to want to be an idol," he admits sheepishly, and Sehun can't help but smile.

"Really?"

"Really. I even got scouted by SM of all companies," he says fondly. "But my parents didn't like how I gave up studying for it, so they forced me to pull out as soon as I could..." Sehun watches as Luhan's face drops.

"I couldn't get back into university though for a whole year, so I had to take up small jobs to pass the time." He glances at Sehun. “Tutoring you being one of them.”

Sehun frowns. He didn’t know that. "Wait, but how do you afford your apartment if you just tutor me? We don't even pay you that much."

"Well, I room with my old roommate from university still, but the rent went up lately, so I have to find a second job because Yixing's busy studying. So I took up a job at that restaurant you took me to – do you remember it? There was a Help Wanted sign at the counter."

Sehun blinks. He never noticed.

"So I guess that explains a lot," Sehun finally says, and Luhan smiles. He's at a loss for words, but Luhan takes care of that problem.

He leans over and presses his lips to Sehun's softly. It's an innocent kiss, but it leaves Sehun breathless because it's their first. He leans into Luhan, wrapping an arm around him. He wants more when –

"CAKE TIME!" Chanyeol exclaims, busting through the door. His eyes widen enough to match Kyungsoo's and he starts yelling, " SORRY, SEHUN, I DIDN'T KNOW – I mean, I should have, since the door was locked and it's dark but – Jongin sent me, okay, blame it on him –"

"Oh, I will," Sehun replies darkly.

"But there's cake?" Chanyeol finishes meekly.

Luhan laughs and pulls Sehun up. "Come on, let's go eat some cake. It's really good. I should know and all, since I helped."

Sehun smiles at that, bringing an arm around Luhan's waist as they walk out together.

"Look at the lovebirds!" Jongin teases, and Sehun flips him the finger. Jongin just laughs and tugs Kyungsoo to his side, who frowns at him but obediently lets Jongin rest his arm around his shoulder.

The lights turn off, and the only source of light in the room are the candles on the cake. His friends sing happy birthday loudly and off-key, but Sehun doesn't care because Luhan's laughing and singing with them.

As they all scream, "Make a wish!" as he blows out the candle, Sehun smiles because doesn't need one. His dreams are all around him.

•

Later that night, as the party dies down and most of what can be heard are Sehun's friends nonsense rambling as a result of too much sugar and too little rest, Sehun and Luhan are back in that room, comfortably in each others' arms.

"A word for how you're feeling?" Luhan asks, and Sehun stops and thinks.

"I don't know," he admits. "Really happy?" he tries. He's surrounded by the people he love – even the losers outside he calls friends. The boy in his arms is the cherry on top.

Luhan smiles, shaking his head. "Come on, give me a word."

"Love?" Sehun tries again, and he's surprised when Luhan shakes his head again, because that's the only word that comes close to everything he's feeling at the moment.

"Oh, here's your gift," Luhan suddenly says, moving to take it out of his pocket. Sehun is curious to see what it could be, but he's baffled by what it looks to be. It's a small leather notebook, followed by an envelope.

"Is that –"

"Open it," Luhan interrupts with a smile. "It's the answer."

Sehun isn't sure what he means, but he opens the envelope anyway and it's a photo of Sehun dancing. He flips it over and there are words in sloppy Korean characters, and then in Chinese.


this is sehun's story. based off of yesterday, today, tomorrow. it's not just love; it's inside jokes, stupid mistakes, good – and bad – food, friends and family. it's memories stored in your heart that write the words in your book.


"But this isn't a word," Sehun says, confused. "There's no word for all of this." He's not sure what the letter means, or what it has to do with what he said, but the other smiles, and he thinks maybe he might understand eventually, with Luhan's help.

"I never said there was."

✦

"When will you learn that there isn't a word for everything?"

- The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

✦

a/n: inspired by The History of Love, a book I have not read but read parts of and its summary. Umm in it, the boy would ask the girl to name body parts and such, and he gave her a dictionary too. Meh. It's hard to explain, but they actually end up broken in the book apparently so this is awkward LOL I only took the happy part of it and applied it to HunHan, because they’re the couple with the language factor in them. if that makes sense to you lol

I ramble. sorry. thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!