Today too…. Like the other days since I began this autumn, I can see you are sitting alone at the balcony of the biggest house in the village, looking into nothing in front of you.

***

“Let’s go home, Jae. It’s getting late here”

I look at my right and see my dear friend Junsu smiles at me. I nod and leave the place.

‘See you tomorrow….’

***

Sometimes I’ll smile alone like an idiot every time I see a red maple leave falls in front of your face and lands on your perfect nose. Your confused face and the way you get rid of the leave is really funny.

‘But at least…. Can you smile? I’m dying to see your smile’

And again, today I just can watch you from afar. I sigh to myself, for being a coward. I don’t want to see your sad face closely. Let me admire you from afar. May I?

***

I caress my left cheek and I feel it is wet. I caress my right cheek and it is also wet. The more I try to wipe it, it flows harder than before.

‘Why do I feel so sad?! Who is he to me??!! He is no one!! Jae!’

***

"Forget him Jae.... You and him aren't mean to be.... get real!!"

"I love him..."

"See? You make yourself hurt! You know you can't love him!!"

"Why??!!"

"Jaejoong~ah!"