a little thing called love; {1/2}

Jongin gently put his bag on the shining lacquered wooden flooring which vaguely reflected his refection. He began to strip his shoes then undid his black t-shirt before his jeans, it was easy now—at least what he thought it was—with a light shrug he gave, his jeans would fall to the floor. Then he realized that, he become skinner and skinnier these days.

He bent down to pull the wrinkled ivory bodysuit over his now-long-legs——he has grown taller about 2cm or so in just two months which made Baekhyun envy him because Jongin kept growing and growing and now he was the tallest among the three of them; he, Baekhyun and Sehun. (He just rolled his eyes when the diva-ish boy of his friend; Baekhyun, whining about he was supposedly being the tallest one since he was the oldest among the three of them but now he was the shortest. Jongin just gave a light chuckle, his friend was stressing out for nothing about it and telling his dearest friend that petite body suited him more since he had somewhat babyface and for being the shortest which was cuter he should be more glad, Sehun flatly said that and Baekhyun blushed.)——Jongin had always been thinking like he was wearing a second skin of the ivory bodysuit over his body, he was getting used to it pressing a bit tightly over his body.

Jongin took a glance over the large mirror in front of him, he smiled at his reflection. He looked perfect now. With a soft exhalation of breath, Jongin was ready on his toes.

He was dancing, he was twirling, he was spinning, he was jumping then he was feeling ballet was his soul, his breath and his feeling, physically and spiritually.

It’s been 3 years since Kim Jongin took ballet. He had an interest in ballet ever since his grandfather showed him some classic dances when he was eight-year-old boy and the one that made his eyes were dazzling and wider in delight was ballet. His grandfather somewhat was a ballerino when he was teenager, Jongin remembered his grandfather ever said ballet was the place where he could flow his feelings through it, ballet was about feelings you express with moves. Your feeling is the ballet itself, Jongin reminded himself.

The day after he announced he wanted to be a ballet dancer, everyone was beyond shocked. Not because of taking something that feminine for a boy like ballet, but all they knew was all Jongin’s dream and what he wanted was become a mom once he was an adult. Jongin just simply said in firm tone, “It was just the past. I was so stupid for wasting my time for a hopeless and stupid dream. I’ve realized that my dream is become a dancer; ballet dance, not that stupid one.”

They knew, they noticed it with their eyes. Jongin looked really hurt when he said so even thought that sweet smile was prettily on his full lips. Jongin, in the deep of his heart, he was still hoping he could be one. They could see it through Jongin’s pure eyes.

Became a mommy, he had buried it deep and deep in his heart. He didn’t want to remember he ever had a dream like that. It felt like he was failed had been born as a real boy; what he should do or what he would be. That stupid dream made him sound like a lunatic.

“But that was a wonderful dream.”

The words were full of innocence and sincere, Jongin could tell it. Sehun’s eyes were telling it clearly as he said it. But Jongin was trying hard to ignore it. He didn’t want to let that dream break out again to leave him for hoping a hurtful dream ever again.

“It was a beautiful and pure dream you ever have since you were little, Jonginnie. You told me that. Remember?” This time Baekhyun was saying. His voice was softer and weaker than usual.

“Hyungie, I remember how beautiful you looked when you said you wanted to be a mommy. I’m not lying but you really reminded to my mom that time, Hyungie.”

Jongin just smiled bitterly at them. Really, he was tired of all, he was hurt of everything. Why was that dream really tutored him so much?

“I’m a boy, Baekhyunah, Sehunah. I couldn’t be a mommy. Please don’t let me to hope it for become true. I’ve enough for it.” Jongin stopped his words. He didn’t want to say anything more. It would leave him hurt and regret everything. “All I want now is become a great ballet dancer,” He forced to flash his sweet smile, hoping the two would stop talking about it.

“Are you happy?”

Jongin looked at Baekhyun and Sehun. Worries were in their eyes. No, Jongin didn’t want them to feel the pain he was feeling now.

A smile appeared on his lips, slowly telling, “I am.”

His friends just smiled weakly at him.

“Then, why are you crying?”

Jongin seemed taken aback, he touched his cheeks. Wet, tears? Jongin himself didn’t realize there were tears falling down from his eyes. He suddenly felt a pair of arms were holding him in warm hug when he was about to wipe the tears away. Baekhyun.

“You can cry, Jonginnie. Just let it out, I know you are hurting right now our Jonginnie. You can cry as much and hard as you please, here my shoulders for you cry on. I-I hate it seeing my sweet Jonginnie is hurting like this. Please stop forcing yourself—”

His voice was cracked and sounded hurt. Byun Baekhyun was crying.

“—We are here for you, Jonginnie. So let it out.”

With it Kim Jongin cried his heart out on Baekhyun’s shoulder, so did Baekhyun. And little Oh Sehun wrapped his short arms around his now-crying-than-ever hyungs and cried on Baekhyun’s back.

They three were crying in their warm hugs for a night long.

“Dear God, why does you make our lovely Jonginnie suffer this all? He is too young and pure to be hurt like this.”

“Jonginah,” A friendly voice called.

Jongin lifted his head up, looking at the person whom was calling him just now through the large mirror. He put a small smile on his lips even though he was too tired to do so and was panting heavily but seeing who the person was, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Moonkyu hyung,”

—was his best friend since he joined this ballet dance studio. Kim Moonkyu was the only son of the owner of this studio and the first one whom approaching Jongin when their teacher—Moonkyu’s mom—introduced Jongin as one of them now. With a friendly and warm smile he threw at Jongin, he held out his hand in front of Jongin who was still lowering his head down. Shyly Jongin shook his hand to Moonkyu’s big one. The memory as Moonkyu squealing in manly way about how soft and pretty his hand was still fresh in his mind and Jongin stuttering said Baekhyun’s were prettier yet Moonkyu still demanded his were prettier beside he didn’t have idea who Baekhyun was. He bet his face was as red as tomato that time or even more.

What a memory.

“What’s it?” Jongin asked, still didn’t tear his gaze away on Moonkyu’s as he wiped his sweat on his face with small towel in his hand.

Chuckling, Moonkyu said, “Your soulmate and your other half are here,” he pointed his chin toward the entrance door. And true his soulmate and his other half—as Moonkyu named them—were standing over there with cheerful smiles on their lips as always, waving their hand on the air calling for Jongin, Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun.

“Baekhyunah! Sehunah!” Jongin beemed as he ran a little toward them, his legs muscles were still screaming to be rested, now seeing those two, they could ease the pain just with their smiles. That’s why Jongin was always glad Baekhyun and Sehun always came to pick him after their choir and piano lessons.

Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun never failed brightened Jongin’s days, in happiness and sadness, so did Kim Jongin. They three were indeed meant to each other.

“Jonginnie hyung, I miss you!” Sehun chirped and gave Jongin a bear hug.

Jongin didn’t resist the hug because he knew, Oh Sehun loved to cuddle him although most of the time he couldn’t breath because the younger was too tightly holding him—he never told the younger about it. Just like Jongin’s cute and spoil puppy Sehunnie that he was.

“Sehunah, I’m all sweaty and smelly. How long you want to hug me, hmm?” He ran his finger through Sehun’s soft dark brown locks.

Yet Sehun hugged him more tightly and nuzzled his nose to Jongin’s shoulder. “I love Jonginnie hyung’s smell, it’s just like babies’, so calming,” he mumbled into Jongin’s shoulder.

“Hey, I want to hug you guys also,” was Baekhyun said as he put his short arms around his two beloved friends. “I miss you too Jonginah,” his voice was a mere whisper in Jongin’s ears.

A chuckle escaped from Jongin’s lips, his eyes softened eyeing the two smaller guys in his arms whom were hugging him for dear life. “You two, we didn’t see each other only a few hours. Why did you guys miss me that much?” He said with a mocking tone.

“Because of you, you’re our Kim Jonginnie.” Baekhyun and Sehun said in unison, they still holding to each other.

They were always like this and always be. Those two; Baekhyun and Sehun would run and hug Jongin whenever they picked him after his ballet lesson. They three would spend their time together by hugging and saying how much they missed to each other, and Jongin’s friends in this studio found they looked just like real brothers. The bond between them was eternally strong, they said that to him and Jongin was beyond happy hearing that if they really did look like one.

Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun would always be the dearest ones for Kim Jongin, so would Kim Jongin be for them.

Because they were brothers.

“I miss you too guys.”

They were Korean Teletubbies for sure, Moonkyu thought, watching his younger friends holding to each other for dear life from afar. It was so touching and cute at the same time seeing those boys being this affectionate. They gave him some warm feelings every time they showed their affection toward each other, especially Jongin, that beautiful young man—in his eyes. He was not blind and he was not lying every time he saw Jongin, the latter would always put that motherly smile as he ran his fingers to Sehun’s hair or when Jongin asked Baekhyun that how his choir lesson was and did he eat well—he knew Byun Baekhyun was easily to lose his appetite—with soft and gentle voice of his as he spoke. His eyes would full of affections and warmness that every mother would have every time they gazed their kids.

Kim Jongin did look like a mother figure to Moonkyu, he would be a perfect and caring wife in the future that every men wanted to have, his inner would shout like that as he was being asked how his future wife would be; just like Kim Jongin. And he never told Jongin that, Kim Jongin was a boy just like he was after all. Yet, he couldn’t stop to imagine it.

Kim Moonkyu admitted that he had a minor crush on Jongin ever since the first time they met. Who wouldn’t be falling for that beautiful young lad? Moonkyu mentally asked himself that. A pure feeling and adoration he had toward Jongin was his secret for both of himself and God.

He really adored the beautiful and endearing boy named Kim Jongin. He didn’t dare to say he was in love with the latter because he knew, Kim Jongin worthy to have someone better than him for his side. He was happy and satisfied just with it; could just have that feeling for him. He really was.

And there’s no way Jongin would like him back, Jongin was a normal guy who would love girls. He sighed, if Kim Jongin had been born as a girl, he would have confessed his feeling toward Jongin from the start.

‘Ah… no, God. I lo- like Kim Jongin just they way he is. Was born as a boy I still adore him, really, and thank you for letting such a beautiful angel born into this world, God.’

Moonkyu sighed again, a heavy one this time. Why was he not the one who born as a girl here? If he was a girl, he could date with Jongin without any difficult.

A faint of flush crept out to his cheeks, realizing how stupid his thoughts were. He cursed to himself. You stupid fellow Kim Moonkyu!

“Guys, can I have a hug too?”

Jongin, Baekhyun and Sehun turned their heads toward Moonkyu whose arms were wide open.

“Sure thing, Hyung,” said the trio Teletubbies as they pulled Moonkyu into their bear hug then started to giggle.

He glanced to the large mirror in front of them. They now completely looked like the real Teletubbies, hugging and giggling like this. Moonkyu chuckled of his own thought. Their hug was very welcoming to him. They were his second home.

A family.

He brought his lips closer to Jongin’s ebony hair and planted a light peck on it, just a simple brush—he reminded himself—he sighed in relief the latter didn’t notice it; with a little hint of disappointment because he could only kiss Jongin secretly like this. He was intently watching Jongin in their hug, he really loved it when he could watch Jongin from this close; how Jongin’s doe eyes were gently shut, letting those long eyelashes pressing against his cheeks, how his plump lips would tug a sweet smile, an adorable chuckle of his soft voice and the way the tint of bright pink would creep out to his squishy cheeks. He—

—just loved everything about Kim Jongin.

Silently he prayed to God someday Jongin could meet with his true love that was all he want for the younger boy. If Jongin was happy, he would be too.

‘I’m a gentleman after all.’ 14-year-old Kim Moonkyu agreed with his own thought.

Kim Moonkyu went gay for the beautiful young lad named Kim Jongin, only. And it was a secret.

“How was your piano lesson today, Sehunah?” Asked Jongin to the younger who comfortably was snuggling and nuzzling to Jongin’s tummy, it was his second pillow after his real one back to his bed, but he liked Jongin’s tummy more. He could sleep on Jongin for hours, just like he had said once before, Jongin’s smell just like babies’, so calming. That’s why Oh Sehun loved to sleep on Jongin or at least near him instead of sleeping on his own bed. Happy with his own thought, Sehun brought Jongin closer, mumbling, “It was fine, Hyungie.”

Raising his brows Jongin asked, “Just fine?”

“He was messing with some tones today though, even messier than a couple days ago.”

Jongin looked across Baekhyun as he said that, completely didn’t aware the younger boy was whimpering—Sehun didn’t want Jongin to know he messed with some tunes of the song he had mastered. Baekhyun’s small eyes were glued on his iPad and his lips were slightly open as his thumbs were continuously hitting and moving on the glass screen. He probably was playing Angry Bird, his favorite one.

Baekhyun and Sehun decided to sleep over to Jongin’s house since they didn’t have assignments to do for tomorrow, the boys were beyond happy. It’s their daily routines, coming to sleep over to their friend’s house, and today was Jongin’s turn in this week. The boys would sleep over at least two or three days a week. And most of the time Baekhyun and Sehun would sleep over in Jongin’s house because Jongin’s parents had prepared two beds for them in Jongin’s room. Sehun would be sleeping with Jongin, the boy loved snuggle to Jongin, so Jongin let him be, and another one for Baekhyun alone but sometime the eldest would sneak over to Jongin and Sehun’s shared bed. He didn’t want to be apart from them, Baekhyun simply told them that with those puppy eyes of his.

“Why were you, Sehunah?”

Sehun lifted his head and peeked for a moment at Jongin from the corner of his sleepy eyes before buried his face against Jongin’s tummy again, “Because I was thinking about you Hyungie. Sehunnie was missing you so much,” he said with childish voice, that adorable lisp of his could be heard clearly as he spoke that way, so much aegyo he put into. He knew, his Jonginnie hyung couldn’t resist from his eagyo.

And true Kim Jongin couldn’t resist the younger for being like this so he bent down and giving a simple kiss on Sehun’s hair, whispering, “Miss you too, my little Sehunnie.”

Sehun just smiled against Jongin's pajamas. He couldn’t stop from loving his Jonginnie hyung.

“So you don’t love me too, Sehunnie, do you?”

This time Sehun got up and sat up straight, looking across his smaller hyung with wide eye. How in earth he knew his thought? Did he say that out loud? Sehun was beyond amazed and astonished. His Baekhyunnie hyung might be a future taller. He let out a small gasp and Baekhyun threw him with Jongin’s Krong plush right on his face, literary, earning yelps from Sehun and Jongin. He rolled his eyes at them.

“I’m not, young man. I’ve known you inside and outside, your badness and kindness, your weakness and strength for eight years Oh Sehun. It’s simple to know what you were thinking just now.” Putting his iPad on nightstand he continued, “So, you don’t love me, Oh Sehun?” He bit his inner cheek to hide his giggle watching Sehun was puffing his cheeks out of irritation. This boy was too easy to tease and Baekhyun loved this too much.

Sehun pouted his thin lips as he went closer to Baekhyun, bringing his arms around Baekhyun’s petite body. “I love you too Baekhyunnie hyung and you don’t have ideas how much I do.”

How cheesy this little boy could be that the elders couldn’t stop from loving him.

And Kim Jongin knew, little boy Oh Sehun loved Baekhyun a little bit too much than he should be. This little boy might love his hyung more than just the love of a little brother to his older brother. Jongin could see it in Sehun’s eyes, there was a pure love into it. Yet the said boy seemed didn’t notice it yet. He was still young and innocent to learn about love. They were though.

What is love anyway? Kim Jongin didn’t even have a chance to learn what love is.

Sure, there were some girls in his school had confessed to him; they liked him, they loved him, but he did not. The girls were cute and pretty, but they were completely not his type. Kim Jongin, honestly speaking, didn’t have any particular type for his lover. He realized if there were a girl was confessing to him, his mind would judge the girl. She’s not as cute as his little Sehunnie, she’s not as pretty as his diva–ish boy Baekhyunnie.

There was a time, when a girl; she’s one of the girls he had rejected, told him he just loved Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun way too much. He only would accept the girls if they were nearly like his Baekhyun and Sehun. But they were not, they were just they were; girls, they couldn’t be Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun whom Kim Jongin loved them from the bottom of his heart.

“And even if there were a girl just like them, I knew you wouldn’t be with her since your heart was fully for your beloved boys, Kim Jongin,” said the girl, she was smiling and that was not the real one, Jongin knew it.

“Is it wrong for me to love them a little bit too much that I should be? Us are meant for each other. We are brother. You should’ve known about it.”

She shook her head, “There’s nothing wrong for you to love them. That’s just, you’ll trouble to find the one and only for you if you’re stuck with them forever. You need to be loved and to love someone else beside Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin.”

Kim Jongin was not stupid, he had realized it before; he knew. He needed someone else for his side, for loving him just the way he was but he was unsure if was ready or not to love and be loved by someone else. And sure, he really wanted to know what the true meaning of love was, he really wanted to have someone to teach him how to love—

—Kim Jongin really to find his one and only.

“Dear God, I know there will be the right one for me to teach me how to love and what love is. I want to meet them soon.”

Kim Jongin, when he was thirteen, he wondered what love is and wanted to know how love feels.

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a/n: Sorry for the super late update, I've just finished my weekly exams. And so this is it; the words vomit i give you again-pardon. So mainly this is full of love, rainbow, tears, Baekhun and onesided Kim Moonkyu. ...and no Kris once again. He... just soon. --Sorry for some mistakes in this one--the number of subscriber and comment are the second one for me yet your enjoyment of reading this is the one. the important thing is Kriskai needs more love, they deverse to have your love. I feel like I'm the only one who ship them. My poor ship is poor. GBU.