The Beautiful Sky

It has been more than two years since it happened. Kim Jongin left me for a better place, a better world. We promised each other forever but then fate took him away from me. Were we not meant to be?

I look back at what happened and think to myself what could have been different, what we could be now. But what’s done is done and the things that happened cannot be undone. It was hard, accepting the truth at first. It’s never easy, accepting the loss of a loved one. But no matter how much you grieve, no matter how much you wish you could turn back time to make it different somehow, they’re still lost.

It was cruel that he left me behind here in this world so that he alone could move on to a better place. We should have gone together. But where I got out with some minor injuries – hardly scathed – it was nothing compared to what he suffered. They said he blocked me from the damage that could have been done to me and said I was lucky. But how was I lucky? He was at death’s door and here I was watching, praying he would wake up and get better.

Hours of watching him lying down in the cold, unfeeling hospital room turned into days. As each second, minute, hour, day passed by, the pain in my heart grew excruciatingly worse. And then it happened, the dreaded sound of any hospital room, the monotone sound of the machine signaling the loss of a heart beating. They told me they did their best, but their best wasn’t good enough, he was still lost to me. I cried. Hours upon hours of weeping, grieving, wailing. I was inconsolable. The moment his heart stopped beating, mine did too.

Everything passed by in a blur. His memorial service was handled by my parents and my in-laws. I couldn’t do anything except watch and grieve. My parents lost a son-in-law, his parents lost a son and I lost a part of myself that went with him. We all felt his loss; we all felt the giant hole that his presence left. Many of his friends came to the service and offered their condolences, I could do nothing except nod numbly.

It was an extremely cruel trick of fate. We were married only three months. Three months after our new beginning, he was taken away from me. Crueler still, they took him only and left me behind. I was not the only one weeping, grieving. Kim Jongin left many people behind, his friends and his family. That day Kim Jongin was put to rest. That day, a caring friend, a dutiful son and a loving husband left us.

Those first three months after that incident, I visited him every day. How could I not? I spent days, sitting by him, talking to him, crying for him, and blaming him. He left every single one of us behind. I watched as other people begun to move on. His friends, took on with their daily lives, stopping a few times to see him, and me. My parents, and his parents were slowly moving on. Slowly but surely, I could see them picking up the pieces that Jongin left behind. Everyone was moving on, except me. I could not, I would not.

A few more months later, while I was sitting by Jongin, his friend came by and left him flowers. I knew him, how could I not, they were best friends, Lee Taemin. He sat down with me, quiet at first then begun talking to Jongin. Then finally, turned the conversation to me. I will never forget our conversation. It was a turning point my life.

“How long are you going to stay like this Soonkyu?” He asked sadly, his eyes still not leaving Jongin’s headstone. When silence met him, he lifted his eyes from the headstone and looked towards the sky. “He wouldn’t have wanted this for you, you know? He would have wanted you to be happy. In fact, I think he’s looking down here right now and he still wants you to be happy. I don’t think he likes seeing you like this,” he continued.

“What am I supposed to do Taemin? My happiness died with him. We promised each other forever but there’s no forever for us anymore,” I weeped into my hands.

He took this chance to wrap his arm around my shoulder with brotherly affection. “The sky is so beautiful isn’t it? It expands forever, there is no end to the sky. But then the sky is never always beautiful, there are rain clouds, there are storms. The sky that expands into forever is continuously changing,” He looked to the sky with a sad smile.

“Why are you telling me this Taemin?” I asked, bringing my face out of my hands and leaning my head onto his shoulders.

“We can’t always dwell on the past. Jongin would’ve wanted you to move on. He still wants you to move on. Life is short Soonkyu, Jongin’s was even shorter. But at least he was happy. He enjoyed his life, no matter how short it was. He wouldn’t want you to waste away your life like this,” he paused to lean his head on mine before continuing. “You promised each other forever and maybe it’s not the forever you planned it would be but he’s watching you from up there. He’ll be watching from up there for forever. Forever is always changing Soonkyu, you have to change with it.” A slight breeze was felt after he finished speaking.

And with that I cried. I cried long and hard. The words Taemin spoke to me was nothing but truth. I cried at the truth that was being spoken. I cried at the cruel trick life left for me. But I cried because it was time to put this behind me. I cried because finally, I would be moving on.

He was younger than me, very much so and only one year older than Jongin. Yet here he spoke words that were wise beyond his years. I was very thankful to him and it seems Jongin did too. That breeze was one of everlasting gratitude from Kim Jongin to Lee Taemin.

I picked up the pieces of my life that Jongin left behind. It was hard, it was slow and it was painful but I managed to get up again. Everyone seemed relieved, my parents, Jongin’s parents, my friends and even Taemin seemed relieved. He was like the brother I never had.

It was a few more months later when it was Jongin and my first year anniversary when Taemin approached me. I was at the cemetery with Jongin when Taemin came up to me with a wide smile on his face. He placed the flowers he bought in front of Jongin’s headstone when he turned to me and told me he had set me up on a blind date.

I was livid at first, why would he do that? And then he proceeded to repeat the words he said to me a few months earlier. Then I became scared, I wasn’t ready. Not yet. Taemin coaxed me out of my anger and then continuously told me that I had to move on, right in front of Jongin. When I finally buckled under the pressure that was Lee Taemin, I glared at him miserably before he told me where to meet my blind date and he left with a wide smile on his face. And a slight breeze passed by just after he left, as if Jongin was encouraging me to go on that date.

The next week, I met him. My blind date. His name was Byun Baekhyun and funnily enough I met him before. He was one of Jongin’s good friends. We were both shocked to see each other and we both agreed that we would murder Taemin next time we saw him. But it turned out the date wasn’t so bad. We made plans to meet again.

Byun Baekhyun was by no means comparable to Kim Jongin. They were two totally different people. Where Jongin was tall, dark and handsome, Baekhyun was the complete opposite. He was fair, a little bit on the short side and was cuter than he was handsome.

Those plans to meet again, turned into more plans to meet more often. I was dating again, I never thought I’d date anyone after Jongin. Taemin made it his job to make sure Baekhyun and I got together. And we did. We became official, I became his girlfriend after a few months.

I was happy again. Enjoying life again. Baekhyun made me feel happy. He made feel whole and alive again. The hole that Jongin left in my life was still there, but with Baekhyun there, I could feel it slowly healing. Baekhyun was sweet, charming and always made time for me, for us. I could tell he was busy but he would always leave things for a while to tend to me. The life was in my eyes again, the joy. My friends could see it, my family could see it and more importantly Baekhyun could see it. We were truly happy together, we never forgot Jongin and in a way that brought us closer to each other.

Now here I am, on the aisle once more, looking into the eyes of my almost husband Byun Baekhyun. I looked into his eyes and saw my future, I found happiness once more. I turned to look at the crowd and saw the blessing of not only Baekhyun and my parents, but Jongin’s parents as well. I found Taemin, one of the groomsmen, and he was happy. Happy that the promise he made to Jongin was kept, he promised Jongin that he would take care of me, and he did. When I turned back to look at Baekhyun, I swear I saw Jongin behind him. As Jongin looked me in the eyes, he gave me a smile. A smile I never thought I’d see again. A smile of happiness. I smiled back at Jongin and then turned my eyes to gaze at Baekhyun. A new promise of forever had begun. A promise made to Byun Baekhyun. How that forever would change, was up to the future to decide.

I would never forget Jongin, he was such a huge part of my life. But the promise of forever we made to each other was still there. It was not the forever I thought it would be but it was forever nonetheless. He was forever looking over me and forever in my heart.

A/N: Another one-shot from me. Another weird pairing but *shrugs* oh well. xD I hope you guys find it enjoyable :)