Yongguk paced back and forth, his broad shoulders slumped and heavy. Conflicted as to what do to with his arms, Yongguk would switch between crossing them, hiding his hands in the small pockets of his dark brown trousers or crossing them behind his back. From time to time he would rub the back of his neck, heaving deep sighs.

A scream was heard from the room next door and Yongguk growled in frustration and lifted his head. His red eyes searched for the digital clock plastered in one of the unnerving white walls and Yongguk ruffled his hair in frustration when he noticed the boy had been there for almost an hour now, but quickly fixed it by running his fingers through the tick black hair, pushing it back. his lips, Yongguk once again dropped his head. I someone were to enter the small white room, they wouldn’t see a high ranking officer, but a lost boy in uniform.

Fiddling with the hem of his jacket, Yongguk dragged himself next to a wall and leaned with his forehead touching the cold achromatic surface and supporting his weight. In that moment, his only wish was to strip the dark brown grisly uniform as he felt suffocated, ashamed of donning a garment that embodied everything he loathed. But he couldn’t. He had to be strong and continue with his task.

Rubbing his small eyes, Yongguk turned around, now facing his back at the wall. Collapsing on the floor, the man crossed his arms, supporting them on his bent knees and hid his face. How he wished he could let his tears flow unrestrained for as long as his mind needed. But he couldn’t because he had to be strong. A shy whimper escaped his shivering lips and that was it.

Another shriek was heard and Yongguk felt the man’s pain in his own body. He should’ve stopped whatever it was that the guards were doing, he should’ve spared his friend from the pain he was suffering but he couldn’t. In fact Yongguk was realizing how little he could actually do. What was his purpose then, if his life was commanded by “could not’s” and “should not’s”? What could he do? Pass out information? How ridiculous was that, how pitiful was his life then?

He didn’t move. Inside he was battling himself, his mind adrift and his will of continue with the charade scarcely hanging. But outside, he was still, weak, crushed by the weight of his uniform. But he wouldn’t have to endure it for long, he promised himself and an apprehensive grin appeared in his face as he recalled what Soohyun had told him. They would attack soon, sooner than anyone was expecting. In two days everything would end.

I understand why you did it. Don’t blame yourself. Soohyun had tried to calm Yongguk. Empty words, nothing more. How could he not blame himself for the death of Joongki if he had been the one pulling the trigger? No, it was his fault. He had other options, hadn’t he?

A thought crossed his mind and Yongguk raised his head, forcing himself to look at the ceiling. By now Soohyun had already informed Ji Ho. The younger boy would never forgive him for killing Joongki. But neither would Yongguk. He then wondered what Jieun would think if she was alive, but forced himself to deviate from such ideas. She was dead and as much as it pained him to acknowledge it, there was no going back. She wouldn’t come back and he would never be with her again.

If only he was the spiritual kind of person, maybe he could take comfort in believing sooner or later he would be reunited with Jieun. Sadly he didn’t regard it as an option. He wasn’t a man of God and his only faith dwelled in his friends and in what they were fighting for. Sometimes not even that was enough.

Sometimes Yongguk was purely driven by vengeance. Of course he had joined the rebels for the cause, but after Jieun’s death, Yongguk had to make an effort to carry on and continue with the plan. The hardest part was befriending the person he abhorred the most. To this day he still didn’t know what strength had made it possible for him to mingle and work side by side with Kim Himchan. And how baffled and he been when Himchan had confide Yongguk how much he liked him, regarding him a close friend and his second in command.

Yongguk would never understand how Himchan could enjoy his company, since he rarely initiated a conversion and barely made any efforts to maintain it. But maybe that had been the traits Himchan had liked the most: he was a self centered, egoistic, heartless man who enjoyed his voice above all. And Yongguk’s apathy towards him provided the perfect audience as long as he nodded and responded from time to time.

Himchan genuinely cherished Yongguk, also because he was efficient, loyal and reliable. Or so he believed. But Yongguk was counting on that trust Himchan had in him as a way of destroying the man. What better way of crushing him than to betray him? Yongguk would make sure Himchan would suffer before killing him. Yes, because there was no way he would let Himchan live. Yongguk quivered just thinking of killing Himchan. How good would it feel to kill the man who had murdered Jieun? Yongguk was soon to find out.

“You sick bastard!”, Yongguk heard someone scream from the next room, followed by a loud thud. Still with his head up, he closed his eyes for a second and curled his fists into balls so tightly the veins in the back of his hand became prominent. He opened his eyes and got up slowly. Taking a quick glance at the watch, he decided it was time to end the torture; Yukwon had been inside that room for more than an hour.

After fixing his uniform and rubbing his eyes, Yongguk’s once gloomy expression morphed. The lost Yongguk had been replaced by the deadpan eyes and scowling aura of Lieutenant General Bang Yongguk.

Opening the white door that gave direct access to the bleak, dark room, Yongguk saw a mistreated Yukwon on the floor, coughing what it looked like blood.

“Enough.”, he stated, his deep voice under full control. “Bring the next one.”, he eyed the guards, who nodded and roughly hauled the abused boy from the room. Yongguk watched the whole scene with an aching heart, his mind telling him to go help his friend, who looked like an animal being dragged through the floor. But he didn’t even flinch. In a matter of moments, the guards returned, now with a girl with had a small frame, but good proportions. Jeon Hyosung, Jieun’s best friend.

Hyosung’s gaze was strong and she was struggling, trying to escape the guards’ grips, with no avail.

“Sit down.”, one of the guards threw Hyosung into the chair positioned roughly in the middle of the eerie room and she fell to the ground, her head striking into the corner of the metal chair. Blood promptly oozed from the open wound and Yongguk had to take a deep breath. With balling fists, he tried to assure himself everything would be alright.

For the longest time he just stood there as the guards took their turn beating the girl. They slapped her, punched her, pulled her hair and tore her clothes. Yongguk could only ask for her forgiveness.

Hyosung still refused (as always) to answer their questions and the guards then decided to make use of the torture instruments. Yongguk examined the beaten Hyosung while the guards diverted their attentions to the needed preparations.

They girl sat on the chair with her head hung low and her back slumping against the back of the chair. Her damaged hair covered most of her face, but Yongguk could still see the bruises and cuts. Her arms were hanging lifeless on either sides of the girl, with her torn shirt falling from her shoulders and revealing her stomach and sports bra.

“We’ll make you speak!”, one of the guards then turned around holding a metal instrument Yongguk couldn’t name. His stomach turned and twisted and his heart clenched. He knew he wouldn’t be able to see whatever the guards were about to do to Hyosung, but he couldn’t stop them either. If he were to stop them, they would think he was weak or wasn’t fully devoted to ending the rebels.

“Make it quick.”, Yongguk said, his back already turned to them. As he opened the door to return to the white room, Hyosung screamed and Yongguk flinched. He hadn’t been able to control his emotions and, after entering the room and closing the door, he just hoped the guards hadn’t notice his moment of weakness.

“Please forgive me!”, he cried in a whisper and leaned with his back against the door. All he could do now was wait. And he waited for what it seemed like an eternity of screams and pain, until he couldn’t take it anymore.

Reentering the interrogation room, Yongguk commanded the guards to leave and, as soon as the door closed behind them, the man ran to Hyosung. Lifting her head with his hand, Yongguk could see how brutally beaten she was, her white skin all bruised and bloody.

“I’m sorry Hyosung, I’m so sorry!”, he pleaded as he tried to clean some of the blood in her lips with a blue pocket handkerchief he owned. The girl flinched in response to his touches, but didn’t say a word.

“I was weak, I couldn’t watch it. Please forgive me.”, he begged, literally on his knees, as he tried to help the girl as much as he could. But time was running and he couldn’t be alone with her in the room for longer. Before calling the guards to take her back to the cell, Yongguk grabbed Hyosung’s hand and squeezed it lightly.

“Hang in there Hyosung. I spoke with Soohyun. After tomorrow, we’ll attack. Tell the others and prepare yourselves. This nightmare is going to end soon.”