So Eun’s POV

“Can you pass me that salt, Jun Ho?”

“Salt, coming right up!”

I looked at the bottle that Jun Ho had eagerly gave to me and returned to my cooking, “Jun Ho, that’s sugar. I think this dish isn’t dessert.”

“What? It looks like salt!” Jun Ho was still stubborn until he tasted a sprinkle, “Well, I was just testing you! You passed.”

I shook my head at his ego and he returned back to my side after getting the right condiment for me. I took my spoon and blew the soup that I had cooked. He had his hands on his waist as I fed him the soup, “What do you think?”

“I think it needs more salt.”

“More?! I had added half the bottle and it’s still bland?” I argued with him and tasted it for myself, “Well, actually, it’s kind of bland.” Somehow, my cooking skills had never really improved other than that kimchi fried rice that I had cooked for Jun Ho.

Jun Ho wrapped his arms around me, snuggling them under my apron, “Hmm, I think it’s salty enough. Father can’t consume much salt. He has to look after his health.”

I nodded and was grateful for him for thinking about my father’s health. Just before I could reply, my father had stepped into the kitchen which made the both of us flinched in surprise, “Are you guys making out or cooking in the kitchen? I’m famished!”

“Father!” I exclaimed and turned around with embarrassment. He chuckled and I heard Jun Ho appeasing him and leading him out of the kitchen to allow me to finish my cooking. From the kitchen, I could hear the loud laughter from the living room by my father and Jun Ho. That sound had warmed my heart and made me smile like a fool.

I would have never thought this day would arrive.

It had been three years since that fateful incident. Jun Ho was already 26 years old with a successful career as a 2PM member and a composer. Even though he was masculine in 2PM, I preferred him being a composer. His songs made me melt into a pool of mushiness and it paid very well. I had never known being a composer would earn so much money.

Due to Jun Ho’s encouragement, he had convinced me to try song-writing. After finishing ‘Music & Lyrics’ years ago, I found myself writing poems, random phrases and songs. The show had made me passionate about writing and I did not think this passion would go on for this long.

I remembered that day when the press conference happened.

Jun Ho had come forward to admit that we were dating.

 It was an unexpected move. Everyone was going chaotic.

However, Jun Ho assured me everything was going to go right from there. He had announced that he was with the director and me when I was drunk but the reporter had only caught the director and me in action when he was in the car as well.

Although my name was cleared, another headline came up: Jun Ho and So Eun started dating since ‘Music & Lyrics’. 

It was a hard time that both of us had to go through but we went through it together, unlike before. Although it was difficult to face the comments, both of us felt relieved after confessing our relationship to everyone. There was no hiding and denying. Everyone knew we were taken and my insecurities disappeared.

Unexpectedly, my acting career took off when my next drama became a hit after starring with Won Bin. Of course, Jun Ho was amusingly jealous at Won Bin for the multiple kiss scenes we had together but he was happy to see me getting back up after the incident. Everyone forgave me. Everyone had dismissed the scandal as something that the reporter had cooked up to ruin my reputation. The best thing was Jun Ho and I were accepted by the public.

They said time passed whenever you’re having fun and it was true.

It had been three years.

After our fulfilling dinner, three of us had sat down together to have fruits as desserts. I spotted the magazine on my coffee table that had distracted me away from the conversation we were having.

“Hey, So Eun, are you okay?” Jun Ho rubbed my shoulder.

“I’m still trying to get used to this fact…” I pointed at the headlines news which read: 2PM Members, except Nichkhun, had decided to enlist together next year.

I knew it was wrong for me to be sad over this but I knew it was coming anyway. They had to enlist but I had never expected it to be so soon. Jun Ho smiled but it was forced, “The members and I had agreed to enlist together. Taec and Min Jun are 28.”

“I know. It’s just… I’ll miss you.” I could not help but think of the negative things that would happen after he had enlisted. After all, two years were going to be lonely without Jun Ho beside me.

He joked, “I won’t be like SE7EN.”

“Shut up, he’s my idol.” I laughed. I glanced at my father who had his eyes on Jun Ho.

“Son, you know you’ll be in trouble if you make her cry during your enlistment. I expect you to come out strong and back in her arms.” My father warned Jun Ho.

Jun Ho pouted and asked for the umpteenth time, “Are you sure you’re not going to send me off there? Please, So Eun?”

“No, Jun Ho! Stop asking. You should be saying goodbye to your fans there. We’re going to meet on the night before you enlist anyway.” I wished I was able to say yes. I wanted so badly to say yes but I knew this was for the best. The rest of the members were going to be there and it was unfair to steal the limelight from the 2PM members.

After the hearty talk with my father and me, my father decided to call it a night due to exhaustion. Even though he was tired, I could tell he truly enjoyed the time we spent together. I was grateful for Jun Ho’s patience for making his time to mend his relationship with my dad after what had happened through the years.

He initiated to open the red wine after dinner while relaxing at the balcony. He hushed me as he told me not to tell my dad as my dad was not supposed to drink alcohol. I giggled softly and shook my head. Jun Ho swirled the wine in the glasses before handing one to me.

One glass after another.

We did not stop drinking.

Both of us sat down hopelessly on the floor, not caring whether it was appropriate to be doing so. He gulped and set his eyes on me for the longest time ever.

I looked up without a single word spoken and began to hum her favourite song. He blinked and continued to stare at me while I hummed. Feeling that I was being watched, I turned and asked, “What’s the matter?”

“First love,” He muttered under his breath, “Do you believe there’s no love like the first?”

I stayed silent.

He continued again, “Do you believe that maybe the first can also be the second?”

One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts. They say the first cut is the deepest. It may not be the best love, but it is the first one you will remember it for life.

However, some believe the first love is the last, and the last love is the first. If first love comes along your way a second time around, would you give it another opportunity to turn it around?

“The second time I fell in love…” I was staring into space while answering his question, “I feel refreshed. I feel different. It feels like a dream to me. I accepted the love with open arms. I feel desperate to make it all right again.”

I reached out for his hand to give him the assurance that I had in my heart. My smile dropped when I started to speak, “The second time I fell in love, I compared it with the first. It feels like everything is disoriented and I needed directions. I was going all, ‘What am I going to do? Wait, how do I do this again?’ It was nerve-wrecking but I became saner than the first because I knew it was not going to be perfect.”

Jun Ho had me in his arms by the time I finished speaking. My heart felt heavy and light at the same time. At one point, I was happy with our current relationship. On the other hand, this relationship was going to face another obstacle ahead. I knew it coming along – enlistment.

Two years.

Two years without Jun Ho.

The amount of anxiety, worries and sadness involved could not be avoided. I had to stay strong even if it was to put on a brave front. Jun Ho knew I was going to be upset but there was nothing I could do to change the rules and regulations of the country.

“I know you’re worried, So Eun.” Jun Ho read my mind immediately, “Although we had put the past behind, the history will haunt you forever. I can always make promises that I will love you forever but promises are just words without actions.”

Before I could probe further, Jun Ho knelt down in front of me while digging for something in his pocket. I propped myself up until I was sitting straight – but still on the floor with him.

“I know that the second love will never be the first time. The first time is insane and magical gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay, So Eun. The second love is going to be realer than ever. The first time is just history. The second time is going be the future. And what matters to me is the future.”

I had my hand over my mouth when he flashed the box in front of me and opened it. The box revealed a ring that we saw a week ago at a jewellery shop. I had said in passing that it was pretty but Jun Ho had it bought and even customized it to be pink which was my favourite colour.

“Will you take the risk and give me a second chance to make it up all to you as your second love, Kim So Eun?”

I was trying to cook up a cheesy or sarcastic phrase to but there was nothing I could think of in this situation. I bit my lips and took the ring from the box and wore it on my finger on my left hand. He shouted yes and grabbed me up from the ground and twirled me around as if I was a five year old child.

That first love. And the first one who breaks your heart. For me, they just happen to be the same person as my second love.

And my very last love.