The clanking of boots and soft thuds of sneakers resounded throughout the narrow streets. The sky covered them in a dark blue mantle, almost black, no doubt leftover from the small storm that had just passed. Starts were non-existent, no matter how much Changmin wanted them at the moment. He needed their guidance and the luck that they could offer. He needed all the luck that anyone-anything-could offer him. He's never been more afraid of saying anything than he was right now. But it was all for the better. At least, that's what he thought.

The constants pitter-patter of raindrops falling from the roof and onto the streets unnerved him. Changmin felt goose bumps run down his arms and he rubbed them up and down with his hands absentmindedly. They kept walking down the stone stairs, the cold air blowing their hair in the wind and making their eyes water. Changmin risked a glance at his companion.

He could be described as the epitome of calmness. Brown almond eyes that were set in a calm stare. Broad shoulders that looked relaxed, but hid a whole world of stiffness. Changmin could tell. It's been a while since they talked. Alone that is. Pretenses always had to be kept in order to maintain a healthy appearance to the public. To the people that never let them be who they are without criticism. But that was another pot that Changmin was not ready to open.

"Yunho..." Changmin whispered, his voice barely registering with his own ears. But the suddenly tense shoulders told him that he had been heard and the quick glance in his direction gave him the courage to continue. 

"That man...he never wanted to hurt you," he started in a whisper, "Please don't be like this," he added with an almost desperate tone in his voice, a desperate tone that went unheard by his companion, "don't hold a grudge against someone that is making someone you loved hap-"

"Someone I love!" Yunho interrupted him-correcting him-his calm face taking on a frown for a moment. His almond brown eyes flickering with repressed anger.

"Right," Changmin nodded his head, knowing this. Knowing it all too well and making his guilt rise with the words that he'll have to say. Damning Jaejoong for making him choose. 

They had broken up. Yunho and Jaejoong that is. The "inseparable" couple, the "ultimate" couple had finally seen it's finale. Too many up and downs. Too many argument, cheating, even fist fights. Too many tears have been shed. Tear that had to be kept secret, rage that had to be bottled up until a mirror-chair, wall-ended up broken on the floor.

Until desperate pleas of, "Stop! S-stop it!" came from Junsu, those who were mirrored by a crying Yoochun while they hugged each other and sat on the floor.

Until Changmin would press his eyes shut as tightly as he could, pressing his pillow over his head, wanting to suddenly go deaf in the middle of it all.

The fans have it easy. Ignorance is indeed bliss at some moments.

"That man...he just came in to fill the hole that your love left in Jaejoong-hyung," Changmin said, wanting to omit the name that he knew could cause his companion pain, but knowing that if he said it, the point could be carried across easier. No misunderstandings to be made of use later. Even in the midst of such a conversation, Changmin's rational side never left. A side that sometime he wish could disappear completely. 

"I know that!" snapped Yunho, letting go of his facade calm and turning towards Changmin, stopping on the widest step of the stone stairs, "I know that, damn it all! I made mistakes, I'm human. Who doesn't make mistakes? Please enlighten me. I neglected him, I know that, why..." he trailed off, his voice cracking. He knew he had made many mistakes, but saying them out loud was costing him more energy and courage that he ever thought possible.

"But...just as I know that, he knew too! He knew that I couldn't live without him, that I've never have been able to live without him, yet," Yunho ended in a broken whisper. 

Yunho had been the one to brake it all up after all. Blaming could go both ways, but only so much could go towards Jaejoong.

Changmin turned his head forward again, suppressing a shudder. It had been a while since he heard such passion coming from his hyung. The admission, Changmin knew, had taken a lot out off the ex-leader. And Changmin wanted no more than to reach out and envelop the older male in his longer arms. Whisper to him and tell him that everything will be okay. That Jaejoong still loved him. Will always love him.

Just as he had done to his Jae-hyung so many times.

"Forget him," was out off Changmin's mouth before he knew what he was going to say, but he didn't take them back, "even if it hurts you, maybe Jae-hyung is happy now with this new person, understand me please! He might be happy. Happiness that he deserves...happiness that you denied him!" Changmin said, lowering his head and clenching his hands into tight fists. This was harder than he ever thought possible.

Yunho only stiffened even more, his tall frame shaking with his bottled up emotions. But Changmin didn't give him a chance of talking.

"I understand what you're feeling, I really do," Changmin admitted, a fleeting image of him passing through his mind, 'Kibum,'  but he quickly shook his head, wanting to rid his mind of things that will cause him further pain, "But I have to tell you, what Jae-hyung told me. That's why I'm here after all, " he said, a humorless grin passing his features before disappearing. 

Yunho grunted, the only form of answer that he was willing to give at the moment-the only answer that his clogged up throat will let him give at the moment. 

" "Tell him that I'm very good. That there were just too many years of loneliness. Loneliness that I could just not bear with. I'm sorry for that Yunho-ya. But, I could never go back with you," " Changmin recounted what was told to him. He wasn't the one at the receiving end of such words and it tore at his heart. Sometime ago, similar words were spoken to him, shattering his young heart. Even if he knew that the fault had rested completely on his shoulders. 

"Convince him! I know you coul-" Yunho started to say, almost interrupting Changmin, only to be interrupted in return.

"-I can't do that! Don't ask that of me Yunho-hyung, please," Changmin forced out between gritted teeth, the doubling pain of his past and present merging together. His rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms forcefully, preventing-demanding-the tears to stay at bay. 

But Yunho ignored his pain, "-Convince him!" he said reaching out and grabbed Changmin's upper arm with force, yanking the taller man to face him. The sight made his arm slacken and he retreat it back to his body. With a gruff, "Sorry," he hummed, motioning to Changmin to keep going. 

" "Tell him that it's better this way. That there's finally someone that thinks only of me. That has time and doesn't care where they have to show me their love-," Changmin was once again interrupted.

"I know that he lied to Jae!" Yunho said, not being able to stay quiet at the words that his beloved had surely spoken. 

"Why do you say that?" the taller of the two retorted back, clenching both hands at his side. It was hard enough to say this things to his Yunho-hyung. But having to gather courage every time that Yunho interrupted him was draining his energy quickly. 

"He had to lie to Jae...he had to," Yunho could find no other reason on why Jaejoong would suddenly cut all connections with him. Even if they-'he,' his mind supplies him-broke it off, they were still friends...right?

Changmin shook his head, already knowing how stubborn his hyung could be, yet he didn't relent and kept on talking, "That man..it's clear he loves Jae. He's so different now, he's so much better now," he said, knowing that lie after lie were spewing out off his mouth without his command. He's always been a good liar. A trait that gets better with age and kept secrets. 

"You know that, and that's why it h-hurts you so much," Changmin said, cursing under his breath for stuttering. Knowing that right now-he was the one causing Yunho pain.

"He gave Jaejoong-hyung the illusion back," the younger male said, knowing that it was another lie.

But once again, his words fell on deaf ears.

"If I could talk with him! I would make him know that Jae's just with him because he's hurting-" Yunho started to say.

"-Don't kid yourself!!" Changmin almost screamed after having to hear Yunho rambling to himself. It was better to snap the older man off whatever he talking himself into, before he grew any kind of false hope inside him. It was hurting Changmin as much as Yunho was hurting himself.

"Jae-hyung likes him," another lie, "Life only gives you one opportunity, accept it!" 'An opportunity that you and I both wasted,' Changmin thought, grabbing part of his hair in frustration. 

"And I know what you're feeling! I really ing do, man..." it was the first time Changmin had ever cursed while in the presence of Yunho-hyung. But polite words could only express his anger and hurt so far.

Without waiting for an answer the tenor continued with his part.

" "Tell him that I'm happy now, and that now it makes me sad to look pass my shoulder and to the past. But, I'm not afraid and I want to live. I'm not afraid of what people may say." " Changmin once again said what was said to him, making him turned his head away from Yunho to hide the beginning of tears that he did not want to show. This tears were for his past, a past that is  not willing to accept him and doesn't want him anymore.

"How did he change so much?" Yunho asked, snapping the brooding younger man out off his musings. 

"He's tired of you," Changmin said, making Yunho cringe and shrink farther away from the taller man. 

Neither of them noticed that while walking and talking they came across a tiny pub and made their way inside, sitting at a tiny table for two.

"Why did he change so much?" asked Yunho once again, this time mainly to himself. He look around the place, finally setting his eyes on the man across from him.

" "Tell him that I'm starting to learn how to love," started Changmin almost automatically, wanting to get it over as soon as possible, "that someone finally needs my love," that was a lower blow and Changmin internally cringed. He knew that Yunho was-is-the one that had always needed Jaejoong's love the most. But he lost it. "He does me good, to my mind, my health and my heart," he finished. Knowing that the worst had yet to pass.

"That man stole Jae from me-" Yunho was quick to disagree.

"-It wasn't his fault," 'It was yours,' but those words didn't need to be said, since both of them knew the truth in between all this lies. 

"He stole Jae from me!!" Yunho yelled, slamming his fist on the table, making his younger companion jump in his seat.

Changmin sighed and steeled his nerves for the next and last part. Who knew what would happen?

"That man..never meant to hurt you, don't hold a grudge against him, try to understand," Changmin started, repeated his words from earlier, "Please don't doubt that....he's your friend and he loves you, because that man...that man...is me," he finished quietly, standing up from his chair. A lie.

Yunho's breathing stopped as a wave of betrayal rushed his inside, choking him and making his oxygen poison. Tears stung his eyes and dripped down his cheeks as he looked up at the taller male with wide brown eyes.

Changmin reach out and put his hand on Yunho's shoulder briefly before exiting the pub. Once outside he sprinted into a run, silent tears running down his own cheeks as he tried to suppress the sobs that accompany them.