“Is it okay?  I’m dressed so… well I’m not dressed.  Is this the type of talk I should be for?”

                “That’s… for you t-to decide.” 

                Immense… awkwardness… can’t… take it.

                “Mm, you look like you’re going to implode so… I’ll just be right back.”

                About a minute later, he was out, fully dressed in his doggy pajamas.

                He’s so cute and pure.  I can’t believe I’m going to ask to dirty him.

                I led him to the couch, my heart rate rising with each step. 

                “I… uh…”

                “Yeah?  What do you want to talk about?”  He cocked his head to the side and my mouth went dry.

                It’s now or never, come on, Sehun’s your boyfriend.  Trust him.

                “Uh… how should I say- I mean I- Oh it!  .”

                “Us?” 

                I nodded and he stared at me with wide eyes and pink cheeks.

                “Yeah, I mean… if you want to talk about it.”  I scratched my head shyly.

                He just stayed silent for a couple of seconds.

                “Okay.  Go on.”  He spoke again but softer.

                “It’s just, we’ve been going out for so long but-”

                “-we haven’t done it.”  He finished it for me.

                “Do you think it’s weird?  Seven months and nothing.”

                “No!  It’s not weird.  What about the people who wait until marriage?”

                “Is that what you want to do?” 

                “No!”  He shouted before covering his mouth.  “I… I mean… I’m fine with doing what you want.  You’re older after all.” 

                I definitely detected innocence from him.  I thought it was adorable, under all of that ertedness and goofiness, he must be worried.

                “Then, do you want to try it?” 

                “Yeah, of course.”  He whispered, looking at his knees now.

                “When?”

                “I actually already have a date in mind.”  He looked up to meet my eyes and I could see the longing.

                I slowly reached down to hold his equally sweaty hand.  I ran a thumb over his knuckles and let out the breath I had been holding for who knows how long.

                “So, you want it to be planned?”  I smiled sheepishly and broke the eye contact.

                “Well, it will be for me.  You don’t know when it’ll happen.  You can only guess.”  He started chewing on his bottom lip.

                “Are you nervous?”  I used my other hand to tilt his head up so that I could see his eyes again.

                “Yeah, but I trust you.  I love you.”  He embraced me lovingly, resting his head on my shoulder.

                “I love you, too.”  I massaged his back with comforting circles and that seemed to give him more courage.

                “Who’s going to b-bottom, though?”  He tensed up a bit, anticipating the answer.

                “Well, if you don’t want to, I can for your first time.  I want to be as memorable as possible and I don’t think it’ll be fun if your hurts afterwards.”

                “I don’t care if it hurts!  You’re the only one I’d allow to hurt me.  Wait- no, that didn’t come out right.  It’s just that, I think it’ll be more memorable that way.”  He tensed up more, probably embarrassed at what he said.

                “No I get it, so you want to bottom?”  I asked again just to clarify it.

                “Yeah, if that’s okay with you.”

                “I’ll bottom the second time, then.”

                “Okay, sounds like a plan.”  He lifted his head to gaze into my eyes again.

                I closed the space between us to softly kiss him, trying to convey my love for him.  I felt better knowing that we were both equally anxious but I’m sure it would just strengthen our bond. 

                Tao and Kris came in at that moment and their faces lit up like light bulbs when they saw us.

                “I see you guys seem to be agreeing on something, care to share?”  Tao tried to suppress his happiness but failed horribly.

                “Oh don’t you know, Tao?”  I scowled at him.

                “Of course, I had to listen to that painfully awkward conversation.” 

                “Y-you heard all of that!?”  Sehun hid his face behind a pillow in mortification.

                “Sehun-ah, it’s okay, I think bottoming feels better anyway.” 

                “You don’t even know what it’s like to top.”  Kris teased, earning a punch on the arm.

                “Well, I don’t want you to bottom anyway.  You aren’t worthy.” 

                “Ugh, this kid.  You really have a loud mouth.” 

                “Well what do you want?”  I glared at the intruding panda and he just laughed.

                “Just to congratulate you two.  You know, just because I’m so happy for you guys, we won’t have in your bed.  We’ll let you two break it in.  Kay?”  He winked and strolled back into my room- er his room.

                For the next five minutes, we just didn’t say anything.  Sehun was playing on his phone and I was just staring into space. 

                I can’t believe we just had that conversation.  I feel like I’ll disappoint him.

                I don’t want to be the one who tops.  I don’t want to hurt him.  I don’t want him to be mad at me if did hurt him.  I was a nervous wreck now that I knew it wasn’t even planned.  It could come at any time and I know I wouldn’t be ready. 

                I wonder if he’ll buy lube.  Or should I?  Should I buy condoms?

                I ruffled my hair, embarrassed that I was thinking of that when he was right there. 

                Maybe I should ask him.

                “Um!”  We both said simultaneously and then shared a shy laugh.

                “You first.”  We said again and then we both shook our heads.

                “No you… first.” 

                If this isn’t going well already, how are we going to be when we actually do it?

                When we went silent again and took the opportunity to ask first.

                “What is it?” 

                “No, you say it.” 

                “No, you say it.”  I insisted.

                “Okay, what’s your… size?”

                “Uh… I don’t know?”

                “Let me rephrase that then, how… big are you?”  He was becoming quieter and quieter and I had to strain my ears to catch the last thing he said.

                “I’ve never measured.” 

                “Oh.”

                People actually measure themselves?  Maybe I should.

                “Would you like me to?”

                “No, but if you were to estimate, how big would you say you are?” 

                “I guess a medium.”  I shrugged, I mean I didn’t think I was small but I wasn’t big either.

                “Ah… well, I’m going to go out for a bit.”  He declared and I guessed that he was already preparing for it.

                “Do you want me to come with?”  I suggested and he thought about it for a bit.

                “Well… only if you won’t feel awkward going shopping with me.”  I noticed that he was becoming more comfortable with the idea and I decided that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

                “Might as well.”  I kissed his cheek and we walked out of the building, hand in hand.

                When we got to the convenience store, we headed to the section and I started to break a sweat. 

                Nope, not okay.

                “Ribbed?  What the hell is ribbed?  It sounds cool, though…  Luhan have you used this before?”  He held the package up, staring at in in wonder, and I simply face-palmed.

                “Yah!  Stop talking like I’m so experienced.”  I ripped it out of his hand and put it back.

                “Hey!  They have glow in the dark!  Whoa, like… your would be glowing.”  He was so fascinated by a .

                Too fascinated, he’s even reading the back of it to see how it works.

                “I’m concerned for your mental health.”  I sighed and looked at the lube, raising my eyebrow at the fire and ice one.

                “Fire and ice?  Will that hurt?  Oh, never mind!  Let’s get this cherry flavored one!  Oh God, it’s called Cherry so it must be good.”  He started laughing and I narrowed my eyes at him.

 I guess he’s back to normal now.

                “Fine but have you decided on the ?”  I rolled my eyes and took the lubricant and tossed it into the basket.

                “Ribbed or glow in the dark?  Aish, I don’t know.”  He sighed and I picked the ribbed one since the glow in the dark one would be too embarrassing.

                “Yay!  Okay!  Do you want anything else?  Can I get candy?”  He asked, rushing to the candy section and picking up a chocolate bar.

                I snorted at my boyfriend, wondering where all of that nervousness went. 

                “Yes, of course.”  I joined him and got myself some sour candy.

                When we got home he put the things we bought in our nightstand. 

                “Where did Kris and Tao go?” 

                “They went to look around the city, they’ll be back soon.”  I explained and he nodded.

                “Okay, well, you want to watch TV?”

                “Sure but, why did you suddenly want to go shopping?” 

                “Oh, well since you’re going to be surprised, you won’t know if it’ll be tomorrow or next year.”  He smirked and plopped down on the loveseat.

                “Yah!  Next year?”  I didn’t believe that for a second, if anything it’d before Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s wedding.

                “I’m just kidding.” 

                At about two in the morning, I heard some sounds coming from my bedroom and I groaned inwardly.  Sehun was spread eagle on top of me, his head on my chest and our legs twisted around each other.  The couch idea wasn’t bad at all and I liked this position a lot.  Wait that sounded ual but whatever.  I’m going to guess that Taoris is procreating in my bedroom. 

                I should’ve told them not to have anywhere.  I just told them not to do it on my bed… God damn it.

                Whatever, I might as well just cover my ears and try to go back to sleep.

                “Luhan-ah, you’re not loud like Tao, are you?”  Sehun suddenly mumbled and I jumped, my blood rushing to my cheeks.

                “You scared me!  I thought you were asleep.”  I hissed and he giggled.

                “You’re so jumpy.”

                “No, I’m not loud.” 

                “Good, because it’s really annoying.” 

                “Should I go walk in on them?”

                “No!  They’ll probably laugh and then do it harder!”  He held me down just in case.

                “Right, aish, so troublesome.  Let’s try to block them out.”  He nodded and I closed my eyes.

                He inched upwards so that his head was nuzzled into the crook of my neck now.

“Good night-er morning, Lulu, I love you.”  He whispered. 

“I love you more.”

“Lies!”

“Truths.”

“Lies!”

“Shut up, you have school in the morning.”  I reminded him.

“Jerk.  Humph!” 

Sehun gave up and just pecked my jawbone before getting comfortable.  His warm, steady breath tickling my Adam’s apple was enough to lull me to sleep despite the loud moans that filled the apartment.

-------------

Author’s Note:

LOL.

Just what?

HOLY OMG LOOK AT SEHUN CLINGING TO HIM. 

OMG HE PULLED SEHUN BACK.  AGHHH LIKE A MAN.

Is that enough for now?  

Haha, I LOVE YOU GUYS.  

I hope this makes up for the anti-climatic chapter.  THE S WILL BE COMING SOON.  I PROMISE!!