Did it already? reply! ppali!

Will do now… Fighting!

Tell him! Tell him! Tell him! ~\^o^/~

I sighed and placed my phone in my pockets before looking up at my friend who was also busy texting.

I sighed again and pumped my fist under the table.

You can do it! Fighting~

"Kyung..." I said, my voice hesitant.
“Hmm?” He replied and look at me with his round eyes.
“Uhh~” I said, shrinking on my seat…

“What if…” I continued rummaging through my head for the right words.
“What if?” He asked while he kept his gaze on me- waiting for me to continue.

Kyungsoo was my best bud since grade school. The same cliché tale; he rescued me while I was bullied in a school playground with elder boys. He stood up for me and fought for me since then. Spending our childhood days side-by-side, I played with him and at the same time he protected me.

Now both of us just graduated from high school and are about to enter different universities for college… Afraid that I might regret it in the end, I decided to tell him my secret feelings.

“What if someone confesses to you out of nowhere but you don’t feel the same way?”
I breathed out feeling a weight lift up on my shoulder and a needle pricked out of my heart.
“E-eh?” He asked dumbfounded.
“Tsk” I scratched my head- “You heard me.”

Yes, I like him. I don’t really know when but I’m sure that I do. But no, I’m not sure if he likes me back.

“Ah.” He took another swig with his cup- thinking quietly.

“A positive feeling is told because one feels it… Not because he knows that it’s what the other half is expecting…” He replied with much thought.

A needle just pricked my heart.

“Elaborate?” I choked out.
“A person must tell another person what he feels for that’s what he feel… Not because he’s obliged to.” He tried to explain further…

And another one.

“You haven’t really answered my question,”
“I’d let her down…” He said without any hint of hesitations.

I then heard something crack inside me.

Kyungsoo for me was surreal. He is anyone’s ideal guy. He’s funny, comfortable, caring and kind. He knows how to cook as he cooks for me when I’m sick and alone- he has a good voice as he sings me to sleep though the phone- he is patient in a way that he waits for me after school just to walk me home and he is charming as he melts everyone with his smile.

He is utterly sensitive except for one thing- me and my feelings. Oh wait that’s two.

“You’d let her down?” I repeated.
He nodded,
“Without even giving her a chance??” I asked hopefully, waiting for a twist of fate.
He just shook his head and thought deeply again.

“Loving someone- I believe, can’t be learned.”
My stomach flipped. No.
“Loving someone, must be felt without any condition… Love comes… And learning to love someone is not the real essence of love…” He concluded.

I just nodded in comprehension.

Looking away I tried to untangle my twisted brain- and tried to swallow through the big lump in my throat.

Don’t give up easily...

With the spirit of hope, I tried once again.

“But-” I was cut-off with his phone beeping.
He beamed out a grin before grabbing it.

The pin of the grenade was pulled out,

“Seems like you’re liking someone,” My voice broke in all the wrong places but I guess he was just too absorbed with the message to even care.

He looked up at me with a guilty smile.

and it just exploded.

I can’t.

I looked down and tried to fight back the tears.

Trying to be there for my friend, I looked back up at him who was still busy typing…

“So~ who’s the lucky girl?” I tried to ask cheerfully with my hoarse and muffled voice.

He smiled for a while and scratched his nape.
“You know the girl from our arts class?” He started off.
I nodded and eye-smiled, to make my tears unnoticeable.
“Which one?” I replied choking on my own voice,
“The one who’s good at drawing inverted fairies.” He stated dreamily.
“Oh, her?” I struggled to answer…

He nodded and smiled bashfully again.

“Well- I’m happy for you then…” I stated half-heartedly with almost no sound coming out.
“But I haven’t really confessed to her yet…” He said defensively,
“And why?” I can’t deny that I did sound a bit optimistic there,
“I’m just… not so sure yet…” He said timidly

“Ah.” I decided to drop the topic and just nod.

--- P.O.V Change ---

Don’t touch her! Men must fight among men! A true man must respect a lady!!
The kid Kyungsoo defended her…

I’ll wait for you here in this bus station so that you could be the very first person I see in the same uniform as me. And with that- we should also go home together to assure a safe travel!
He extended his hand waiting for a deal.

Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I should have skipped school to take care of you too! Wait for a while, I’ll cook soup! I’ll call your mom to ask permission! Don’t move and rest!
He ran down to the kitchen as the sound of pans clanging followed.

Five dollars per song okay? I’ll start now! Good night!

Don’t hesitate any more
just take my heart please.
Love shine like a light
even the moon close its eyes
if it’s not me but someone else
if it’s a line in a drama
burn out the scars that he had made
baby don’t cry tonight [click!]

“Are you okay?” You heard someone ask… Snapping out of your reverie you looked down and felt water drop on the back of your hand. It was from your face. You touched your cheek and realized that it was damp. Remembering his presence in front of you; you swiftly wiped it dry.

“What was that?” You asked looking up and making sure there were no traces of tears already.
“Were you crying?” He asked, panicking.
“What? No. Tss.” You said a bit too sarcastically.
“Are you okay?” He queried further,
“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re not.”
“E-eh?”

“Tell me… What’s your problem?”

You felt tears start to well up on your eyes so you smiled with your eyes again.

“Nothing. I’m fine. Really,” He did not buy it.
He opened his mouth to speak again but he was interrupted by his phone.

Pick it up and I’ll give up.

He gave you one last look,

Don’t.

And picked up his phone.

“Uhh- you know what, I feel kinda sick all of a sudden. I’ll go home first, okay?” Without waiting for his reply you stood up and ran out.

Breaking down, you felt hot liquid snake down your cheek and your view got blocked by a cloud of tears. You wiped them with the back of your hand and ran

You ran and ran and ran until your lungs ached for oxygen.  You ran and ran and ran away from reality wishing that you can run away from your feelings, run away from the pain and run away from your own self.

Tell me, how can you beat something that’s inside you?

You continued running and eventually you had to cross a road. Seeing the signal for pedestrians green, you continued running unaware that the timer was beeping; barely making it on time, a hand grabbed your arm to the sidewalk as the cars zoomed past you.

Shock from the life-and-death situation, tired from running, torn inside and miserable outside, you kept on crying and panting and crying.

“What the hell is your problem?!?!” The man who pulled you out of death exploded.
Looking up at him made you cry even more, it was Kyungsoo.

“You- I saw you running around the street so I figured that you’ll eventually pop out here so afksfjhsfa-” He kept on panting while explaining but you paid no attention and continued your childish act.

“Are you hurt? Somewhere?” He placed his hand over your shoulders and examined your body twisting you here and there like a rag doll.

Now you sure do look like a father-daughter-quarreling-on-the-sidewalk-because-his-daughter-fell-because-she-ran. Well You fell too. You fell in love.

“Are you hurt?” He asked again- without much thinking you just nodded.

“What?!” His eyes widened at your reaction.
“Where?!” He asked urgently.

You cried and pointed at you left chest. Where you heart is.

“What?!” He asked in disbelief.
"My heart hurts..." You whispered
"You got dumped?!" His tone still didn't went down- you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand and just nodded.
“Who dumped you?! Tell me the name of that rascal and I’ll beat him up to his pulp!”

“Then get ready to be beaten up by yourself…” You said in between sobs and even trying to laugh.

You knew that you were quite a mess but you were wretched enough to even care about your appearance.
The next moment was silent.

Realizing what you just said, you cupped your hands over your mouth and cried harder as he was trying to absorb the weight of your words.

“What?” He asked for the nth time.
“It’s you okay?! It’s you!” You screamed letting go of yourself esteem and pride.

“E-eh?” He looked like a lost owl.

 “I love you okay?! I loved you since God knows when! And now it's killing me to know that you like someone else!"

He tried to speak up but no words came out from his mouth, it just hang there- open, as big as his eyes.

“It’s not that I want you to like me back or something…" You said, gving up.

"I just want you to know… Before it’s too late…” You then cover your face with your hands and weep.

You then felt hand grip your wrists and forcefully pull you closer, before you could think about what was happening your face met his chest as he placed his arms around you, hugging you tightly.

For a minute or two you stayed like that and you continued to bawl your eyes out.

He will never love me back

Calming down- you stayed in his embrace and tried to stop crying...

Gently and almost inaudibly, you heard him whisper-

“I’m sorry.”

----------

FIN.

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!
Comments are loved!

Sequel?? >:D

♥, K