Side by side, they lie on Yixing’s bed, shoulder against shoulder with their hands meeting at their waists. Wufan’s large and comforting hand cups Yixing’s. The lights are off and the only sound in the room comes from Yixing’s mp3 player, which rests on his chest. The white cord from the headphones crawls up his body, separating at their shoulders as one string leads to Yixing’s ear and the other to Wufan’s, connecting them in yet another manner. The soft melody of a blues song purrs in their ears as a saxophone accompanies the raspy voice of a forlorn female. She sings intimately, her voice dancing to the smooth rhythms of the saxophone as if it using the instrument as a replacement for the lover she’s pining over. The song is disheartening, especially considering the circumstances.

            They are separating early tomorrow morning. It’s not a breakup. It’s not a permanent goodbye. This isn’t the end for them, just a new beginning for Wufan as he goes off for school. But knowing all this doesn’t make the inevitable split any less painful. They are still afraid. They worry that things will change between them while Wufan goes abroad for a year. It’s mostly Yixing who worries that Wufan will meet new people and experience so many new things while he’s away and Yixing’s stuck at home, treading the same path every day while remaining unchanged. He worries that the new Wufan, the one that comes back in the future will forget why he fell in love with Yixing in the first place.

            This is all ridiculous from Wufan’s point of view because he knows he’ll never stop loving Yixing, never stop being in love with him. Wufan is just studying abroad for a year, which feels like a seemingly endless amount of time for these two who spend practically every day together. The decision to go is difficult for Wufan to make, but he needs this experience and Yixing knows that this is important for Wufan because studying abroad will look amazing on his resume considering he’s a business major. He needs something to set himself apart from the rest of the group. Yixing also thought about studying abroad with Wufan, but his family needs him close to home, so their only option now is to get through this next year the best they can.

            Since this is their last night together, Yixing doesn’t want Wufan to leave his side, even though Wufan still needs to finish packing and has an early flight out. Yixing is being stubborn and needy and selfish by keeping Wufan beside him, but Wufan really doesn’t mind because he likes this place next to Yixing, just lying on the bed together, listening to music and basking in each other’s presence, not doing or saying anything.

            Once Yixing’s mp3 player changes songs to something instrumental, full of violins and pianos, Wufan randomly asks, “How many do you think there are? I kind of lost count a while ago,” he admits, staring up at the ceiling, knowing Yixing is looking at the same thing he is. There are hundreds of glow-in-the-dark stars scattered across Yixing’s ceiling, creeping down the upper edges of his walls and creating soft green glow throughout the room.

           Each star represents every day they’ve spent together since they became a couple. Yixing started sticking stars when they hit their one hundred day anniversary. He bought exactly one hundred of them and made Wufan help him post them all over his ceiling. They did it again on their two hundredth day, then three, four, five, and six. After their six hundredth anniversary sticking a star became a monthly routine, then a weekly one, and eventually it was something they did every day. They enjoy the ritual and significance of each star as they create their own constellations of love across Yixing’s walls in their own little universe of memories.

            “One thousand and eighty-three,” Yixing answers without hesitation.

            “Seriously?” Wufan gazes over at Yixing incredulously. “That exact number?”

            Yixing shrugs. “I’ve been keeping a tally, not to mention it’s almost time for our anniversary.”

            “Three years, can you believe it?”

            “Not really,” Yixing smiles, squeezing Wufan’s hand. “Time flew by.”

            Rolling to his side, Wufan faces Yixing, accidently pulling the ear bud out of his ear. “Maybe time will fly while we’re apart. I’ll be back before you even have time to miss me.”

            “Liar,” Yixing says, turning his head to face Wufan. “I’m already missing you and you haven’t even left yet.”

            Reaching up with his free hand Wufan slides his fingertips across Yixing’s soft cheek before flattening his palm to cup it. “Please don’t make this harder for me than it already is.”

            “I’m sorry.” Yixing barely get his words out and Wufan is kissing him.

           He pulls back, eyes on level with Yixing’s and noses still brushing together as he says, “Don’t apologize. I don’t like it.”

           “Why are you so confusing?”

           Wufan laughs off the question and kisses him again. In the midst of it all their clothes come off and the music is replaced by content sighs and moans. They hold each other through the night as sleep escapes them while they make love beneath their fairy tale sky. It seems different this time. They are both desperate to feel more, to be just a little bit closer to one another. They cling harder, kissing past their limits and memorizing the planes of each other’s body before their long separation. Wufan’s going to miss the feel of Yixing’s fingers clinging to his and the way their legs tangle together beneath the sheets when they sleep together. He’s going to miss the soft breathing against the nape of his neck as they hold each other or the way Yixing loops his arm around Wufan’s pulling him close whenever he feels like it. He’s going to miss Yixing’s scent, a sweet mint smell. Simply put, Wufan is going to miss Yixing in every way possible.

           During the early morning hours, Yixing drives Wufan home and helps him pack in a rush before he leaves for the airport. They separate at Wufan’s place because he doesn’t want to leave Yixing alone and upset in a crowded airport.

           Yixing stands back and sighs heavily once the taxi is packed with Wufan’s bags. “I’m not putting any stars up while you’re away. It wouldn’t feel right,” he says. Digging into this coat pocket he pulls out a small neon-green star, half the size of his palm and slides it into Wufan’s hand. “Take this with you and think of me while you experience new parts of the world. When you get back, it’ll be the first one we put up together.”

           Wufan laughs, thinking Yixing is probably the cheesiest person he’s ever known, but he loves it, loves him. He wraps his arms around Yixing’s waist, pulling him close, kissing him, and trying not to show how sad he is that he won’t be able to do this for a whole year. He wants to be strong for Yixing. He should be strong because he’s the one choosing to go away.

           “You’re beautiful,” he says. “And sweet, and charming, and completely perfect. I’ll keep this with me everywhere I go and imagine you’re experiencing everything right along with me.”

           It’s Yixing’s turn to laugh. “When did you become so cheesy?”

           “I guess you’re cheese is finally rubbing off on me.” Wufan hugs him tighter. “I’ll keep in touch. I’ll email and call and video chat you all the time. I’ll send you little postcards and letters. I promise.”

           “Me too.” Yixing thinks this side of Wufan is unbearably cute.

           “And anytime you feel lonely or miss me,” Wufan lowers his voice. “Go to your room, turn off the lights, and watch the stars and remember each passing moment they represent. All one thousand and eighty-three of them.”

Yixing nods, feeling a bit of relief because he’ll at least have some of Wufan’s presence around him. They share a final kiss and part with I love you instead of goodbye.

           It’s a little less than a year later when Wufan comes home, well traveled and exhausted. He goes directly to Yixing’s place without calling ahead of time, hoping to surprise him.

           The tiny star is safely tucked into his wallet right beside a picture of Yixing taken on their one hundred day anniversary. He thinks it’s a rather fitting pair. Over the year, the star became worn from Wufan constantly pulling it out of his wallet and running his fingers over it as he thinks about Yixing, misses him. Their relationship didn’t come out unscathed either; it’s a little tattered like the star, but still intact.

           Once Wufan reaches Yixing’s home, they reacquaint themselves all the way into the bedroom. It isn’t until after they finish making love that Wufan reaches for his pants and pulls out his wallet, showing Yixing the star, a memento of their time apart

           “Is there any particular place you want to put this one?” Wufan asks.

           Yixing points upwards, to an obviously cleared spot directly in their line of sight from where they lie at the head of the bed. “I already cleared a special place for it. We can put it up later. I want to stay like this for a little while longer.” He grins, dimples showing with a slight laugh complimenting his voice. They kiss. “Welcome home, Wufan.”

           “It’s really nice to be home.”

Just a little oneshot that I was inspired to write.

I hope you enjoy this bit of Kris and Lay.

<3 Jae