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Park Chanyeol: It’s been so long. I feel like I owe you. I’m so sorry Facebook, I’m so sorry…

Kim Jongin, Byun Baekhyun and 3 others likes this.

Byun Baekhyun: Oh yeah, forgot about this.

Kim Jongin: That’s what we get for being amazing and super popular idols.

Wu Yifan: At least there are no stupid conversations anymore.

Huang Zitao: Yeah but now Chanyeol’s said this, I feel I’ve been neglecting it too.

Wu Yifan: No.

Huang Zitao: Oh yes. Facebook? EXO IS BACK.

Park Chanyeol: YEAHHHHHHHHH!

 

 

Lu Han > Oh Sehun: Shall I pick you up at eight my dear?

Oh Sehun likes this.

Oh Sehun: What are you talking about?

Lu Han: I’m talking about the date I’m taking you out on tonight.

Oh Sehun: Have you forgotten you’re in China at the moment whilst I’m in an entirely different country?

Kim Jongdae: Did no one tell you we’re heading back this afternoon?

Oh Sehun: No… they didn’t…

Lu Han: CHEN! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE.

Kim Jongdae: Oh well! Yeah, we should be there around seven pm tonight by the way!”

Lu Han: Chen, seriously? >:(

Oh Sehun: Oh okay…

Kim Minseok: Jongdae, get out of this conversation and let Lu Han ask Sehun out, okay?

Kim Jongdae: Geez, fine.

Lu Han: Anyway… can you pretend it was a surprise that I’m coming back tonight?

Oh Sehun: I guess so.

Lu Han: Great! I better see a surprised expression.

Oh Sehun: I will try my best!

 

 

Kim Jongin: I’VE AN ANNOUNCEMENT EVERYONE.

Byun Baekhyun, Park Chanyeol and Kim Minseok likes this.

Park Chanyeol: What is it?!?!?!?!

Kim Jongin: …

Park Chanyeol: Kai!

Byun Baekhyun: Do not feed his need for attention baby.

Kim Jongin: Excuse moi?!

Kim Minseok: Heh. Just pictured you speaking in a horrible French accident. Because you suck.

Kim Jongin: You know what?

Kim Minseok: What?

Kim Jongin: Boop.

Park Chanyeol: Can we get back to this announcement?

Kim Jongin: Kyunggie is cooking and I thought you all should know.

Park Chanyeol: That was it

Kim Jongin: Yup!

Park Chanyeol: Wow. .

Kim Jongin: Go suck Baekhyun’s.

Park Chanyeol: Will do.

 

 

Huang Zitao > Wu Yifan: Hey Big guy.

Wu Yifan: ‘Big Guy’?

Huang Zitao: I’m testing out new pet names for ya.

Wu Yifan: I’ll pass on that one.

Huang Zitao: Honey muffins?

Wu Yifan: Sounds like something I should be calling you?

Huang Zitao: I am NOTHING like those honey muffins.

Wu Yifan: Whatever you say babe.

Huang Zitao: How about… Cutie Patootie?!

Wu Yifan: I’m not cute.

Huang Zitao: I happen to think you’re adorable!

Wu Yifan: NEXT.

Huang Zitao: Cuddle Bug! YES. Kris is my cuddle bug!

Wu Yifan: …

Huang Zitao: You can’t change my mind. Soz.

Wu Yifan: Oh great. That’s all I need. To have my species changed and for the world to know I like to cuddle.

Do Kyungsoo: Don’t worry Kris! Everyone knows Kai likes to cuddle; now it’s your turn.

Wu Yifan: Piss off Kyungsoo.

Do Kyungsoo: …

 

 

Kim Joonmyun: Calling on Cuddle Bug!

Wu Yifan: PISS OFF.

Kim Joonmyun: No, but seriously Cuddle Bug, I need your leadership over here.

 

 

Park Chanyeol > Wu Yifan: Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing like a buggggggggggg.

Wu Yifan: Seriously, you.

Byun Baekhyun: I WILL!

Park Chanyeol: YAY. Cheers Cuddle Bug.

 

 

Zhang Yixing > Wu Yifan: Hey Kris?

Wu Yifan: OFF BEFORE I SERIOUSLY HURT YOU.

 

 

Zhang Yixing > Kim Joonmyun: I’m not one to usually do this. like, tell on someone, but… can you talk to Kris? He swore at me and threatened me.

Kim Joonmyun likes this.

Kim Joonmyun: He did what?

Zhang Yixing: Go look. I didn’t even DO anything.

Huang Zitao: Aw don’t worry about Kris. He’s just on his period.

Kim Joonmyun: Oh, one of those days?

Zhang Yixing: If he’s PMSing then you should really get him to the doctor.

Huang Zitao: Why?

Zhang Yixing: There’s a couple of reason, maybe one being HE’S A BOY?!

Huang Zitao: How do you know?

Kim Joonmyun: You mean… he’s not a guy?

Huang Zitao: Of course he is! Just don’t assume anything -__-!

Zhang Yixing: You guys are perfect for each other.

Huang Zitao: THANKS!

 

 

Oh Sehun: I’m feeling the best I’ve felt for a long time!

Do Kyungsoo, Lu Han and 5 others like this.

Do Kyungsoo: Oh? What happened?

Byun Baekhyun: I’m guessing the date went really well?

Oh Sehun: You thought correct!

Lu Han: That’s because I’m like the best boyfriend ever.

Oh Sehun: No arguments here, at all.

Do Kyungsoo: What happened?

Byun Baekhyun: Tell!

Lu Han: I took him out to a very quiet (but good) restaurant and we ate, talked before we took a stroll in the park. That’s all.

Oh Sehun: That may be all but seriously, it was the calmest I’ve ever felt.

Do Kyungsoo: That’s so sweet! Seriously.

Byun Baekhyun: Totally jealous.

Do Kyungsoo: Me too!

Lu Han: Real subtle hints guys!

 

 

Kim Joonmyun: I need two volunteers.

Zhang Yixing, Lu Han and 3 others like this.

Park Chanyeol: What for exactly?

Huang Zitao: What are we supposedly signing up for?

Kim Jongin: Maybe he wants a foursome.

Do Kyungsoo: Such a dirty mind.

Kim Jongdae: Like you all weren’t thinking the exact same thing.

Kim Joonmyun: No, the manager just laid an idea beside me, and I need two volunteers to participate, I already refused.

Oh Sehun: If you refused, then it must be something bad.

Park Chanyeol: I wanna know!

Do Kyungsoo: I’m not sure I do…

Kim Joonmyun: I need two of you to perform Troublemaker’s ‘Now’ dance.

Do Kyungsoo: Thought so.

Byun Baekhyun: No freaking way.

Kim Jongin: Eh… Even I’m not doing that.

Huang Zitao: KRIS AND I WILL DEFINITELY DO THIS!

Wu Yifan: Kris shall NOT be doing this.

Huang Zitao: Oh come on! I’ll be Hyunseung and I’m sure you’ll be a terrific Hyuna!

Wu Yifan: that.

Kim Joonmyun: LANGUAGE.

Zhang Yixing: Aw I’ve missed you saying that.

Park Chanyeol: I agree with Tao

Lu Han: Me too!

Kim Jongin: Me three.

Byun Baekhyun: Me four.

Kim Minseok: Me five.

Kim Jongdae: Me six.

Do Kyungsoo: Me seven.

Zhang Yixing: Me eight!

Wu Yifan: SHUT UP.

Kim Joonmyun: Thanks TaoRis! And Kris, you should really think about getting anger management classes. Your anger has taken a wrong turn ever since we all got back onto Facebook.

Huang Zitao: Tell me about it. Even off of Facebook he’s angrier.

Wu Yifan: Guys. I said no.

Huang Zitao: Kris…

Wu Yifan: Seriously. No. I’m going to ignore you from now on.

Huang Zitao: What??

Wu Yifan: Later.

Kim Joonmyun: Yeah… Kris just left the dorm.

Huang Zitao: Guess that’s a no to the Troublemaker.

Kim Joonmyun: I was joking anyway…

Huang Zitao: Great… now I’ve a pissed off boyfriend for no reason.

 

 

Kim Minseok: Christmas Time!

Kim Jongdae: Mistletoe and Wine!

Lu Han: Children Singing!

Oh Sehun: Christian Rhymes!

Kim Jongin: Now promoting, the barbershop quartet! Christmas edition!

 

 

Kim Jongin: I got a new addiction.

Kim Joonmyun, Wu Yifan and 6 others likes this.

Kim Jongdae: Apart from Kyungsoo’s ?

Do Kyungsoo: HEY. Come on now, no need.

Kim Jongin: Seriously Chen, you’re like my long lost child.

Lu Han: Thought I was KaiSoo’s kid?

Kim Jongdae: You’ve been replaced.

Do Kyungsoo: No one can replace my Lulu.

Kim Jongdae: ANYWAY. The new addiction Jongin?

Kim Jongin: Energy drinks.

Lu Han: Don’t you remember the last time you drank loads of caffeinated drinks last year?

Kim Jongin: No, I don’t.

Lu Han: Exactly.

Kim Jongdae: I fully support you daddy.

Kim Jongin: Gee, thanks. Now, since you’ve agreed, I’ve now placed energy drinks as your new addiction too.

Kim Jongdae: Yes sir! XIUMIN. DRINKS. NOW.

 

 

Park Chanyeol > Byun Baekhyun: I think you’re magnificent.

Byun Baekhyun likes this.

Byun Baekhyun: You’re too sweet!

Park Chanyeol: It’s true, I just watched your performance and you’re really amazing.

Byun Baekhyun: Oh babe, I like this side of you.

Park Chanyeol: Can I shower you with gifts please?

Byun Baekhyun: You need to ask me?

Park Chanyeol: Thought so. Beware, you’re about to be spoiled.

 

 

Do Kyungsoo > Kim Jongin: Um, you just got a call.

Kim Jongin likes this.

Kim Jongin: What are you talking about baby?

Do Kyungsoo: You left your phone in our room, you got a call.

Kim Jongin: Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!

Do Kyungsoo: Kai, where are you right now?

Kim Jongin: Right. Out of the dorms. Okay, so, who was it?

Do Kyungsoo: I’ll just say it straight – apparently it was one of your exes?

Kim Jongin: Huh?

Do Kyungsoo: You put the name down as ‘EX no 3’?

Kim Jongin: Oh…

Kim Jongdae: BUSTED.

Lu Han: Oh my god, I used to LOVE that band.

Kim Jongdae: Did you know they are coming back?

Lu Han: I heard!

Kim Jongin: GUYS SHUT UP.

Do Kyungsoo: Just get home, okay?

Kim Jongin: I’ll be there as fast as I can.

 

 

Zhang Yixing > Huang Zitao: Do you remember, a long while ago, you agreed to go on a road trip with me?

Huang Zitao, Lu Han and Oh Sehun likes this.

Huang Zitao: Are you talking about the time when Kris got me the car?

Zhang Yixing: Yeah!

Huang Zitao: What about it?

Zhang Yixing: Wanna go?

Huang Zitao: …Yes please. I need to get out.

Zhang Yixing: I thought so. Let’s go!

Huang Zitao: I’ll be right there.

 

 

Kim Joonmyun: Has anyone seen Yifan anywhere lately?

Kim Minseok likes this.

Kim Minseok: Now that you mention it, no.

Oh Sehun: He’s not around lately.

Do Kyungsoo: Well it is our long break.

Lu Han: And wasn’t he kind of pissed off last time he was here?

Kim Joonmyun: Yeah, I’m trying to find him. Any ideas?

Oh Sehun: Go ask Tao.

Kim Joonmyun: I can’t: he and Lay went on a road trip.

Do Kyungsoo: Without their phones?

Kim Joonmyun: Oh… right.

Park Chanyeol: Don’t worry. Ever since we got Facebook back, I’ve forgotten about all other communication devices too.

 

 

Byun Baekhyun: Flowers, chocolates, cards and roses. I feel like a woman.

Park Chanyeol and Lu Han likes this.

Lu Han: That’s so cute! :3

Park Chanyeol: Is that a bad thing? I thought you like gifts…

Byun Baekhyun: I love them!

Lu Han: It sounded like criticism.

Byun Baekhyun: Sorry Channie, it wasn’t! Just showing how good a boyfriend you are!

Park Chanyeol: Thank god! My heart was pounding like a nail!

Lu Han: …

Byun Baekhyun: I’m glad you’re so good at giving gifts. *sigh*

 

 

Huang Zitao: Hey, we’re back!

Zhang Yixing: Hey, we are!

Huang Zitao: Hey I had a fabulous time. Thanks Lay.

Zhang Yixing: No problem, let’s do it again!

Huang Zitao: Yeah! I think I just heard Kris come in, excuse me.

Zhang Yixing: Go get em’ tiger.

 

 

Kim Jongdae: Well that escalated quickly.

 

 

Kim Minseok: Room change? Anyone?

 

 

Kim Jongin: *gulp* I hate the fact that that .

 

 

Kim Joonmyun: Soundproof rooms. Amazing technology that we need.

 

 

Do Kyungsoo: All these statuses are about Kris and Tao arguing then having , right?

Kim Jongin likes this.

Kim Jongin: You’re right baby!

Do Kyungsoo: And you got because of that?

Kim Jongin: You didn’t?

Do Kyungsoo: …

Kim Jongin: Thought so. Stop feigning innocence.

Huang Zitao: STOP INTRUDING.

Do Kyungsoo: Oh my god Tao. I can still hear you. YOU’RE ON FACEBOOK WHILST HAVING ?!

Lu Han: Is Kris that boring?

Oh Sehun: By those sounds – no.

Huang Zitao: He’s away getting refreshments. Shut up. All of you.

Kim Jongin: Have fun!

Do Kyungsoo: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Lu Han: Everyone just saw a Kris run in the hallway to the bathroom, right?

Do Kyungsoo: Yup.

Kim Jongin: Uh-huh.

Kim Jongdae: …sadly yes.

Kim Minseok: *Shivers*

Oh Sehun: Ew.

Huang Zitao: You all love it.

 

 

Wu Yifan > Huang Zitao: YOU GO ON FACEBOOK IN THE MIDDLE OF ?!

Kim Jongin: Take it he just saw the status!

 

Huang Zitao: Thanks everyone for pissing Kris off this past week. It was the best we've had in ages!

Kim Jongin, Kim Jongdae and 8 others like this.

 


A/N: It's been a while right? Well, I've been wanting to update this for a long time! Have fun reading! <3

 

 

Comments

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JUSTUMINE #1
Chapter 9: Tao and all his GUCCI things.. omg I love Kris' reaction at that
EXOtic181818 #2
Chapter 8: Lol so fckin funni
EXOtic181818 #3
Chapter 3: Dayum ing awesome
EXOtic181818 #4
Chapter 1: Lol if only these were real
JUSTUMINE #5
Chapter 3: The time when lay showd tao that site... hahhaha.. how cute must be the jealous Tao..
JUSTUMINE #6
Chapter 3: The time when lay showd tao that site... hahhaha.. how cute must be the jealous Tao..
JUSTUMINE #7
Chapter 2: That heechul' line is just... ahhahaha...
I love the baekyeol plot hahaa..
JUSTUMINE #8
Chapter 1: This is hilarious!! I can't understand myself of why am I just found this now?? Hahahahah
wuyifangalaxy #9
congrats on the feature, author-nim!
Chizuka_Aiko #10
Chapter 14: congrats on featuring~~