When you make the biggest mistake in your life, something good comes from it.   That’s what my Grandpa used to say whenever I felt disappointed in myself.   At the reminder of his words, and the memories of him, I heave a sigh. I wish he would be around. He was the wisest man I’ve ever met. Until this day, I still get upset knowing that he wouldn’t be around when I want to call him. He had always been the one I wanted to talk to the most, until Suzy and I got together.   My attention shifted to her. She was the one who picked me up from the lowest moment of my life.   When Suzy decided that she wanted to go travelling after high school and take a break from our relationship, I let her go.   And I think I made my biggest mistake then.   It has been three years since she left Australia. Her facebook has been inactive since then, but she calls me twice a year to keep in contact. Otherwise, no interaction exists between us.   I always think of what could have happened if I never let her go.   I would probably propose to her this year. We’d get engaged, and then get married in the next few years after we get a job.   Although it seems so far away, there remains a part of me that wishes for it to come true—in the next few years, perhaps; when she returns to Australia, when we see each other again, when we decide to continue where we left off.   But three years have passed. Sung Jong thinks I’m stupid for waiting around like this when I could have “hooked up with the girls in Fairfield”. Sung Jong knows a lot of Australian girls and always tries to take me out with him when he meets up with them at the PUB or clubs around here. I appreciate his effort, but there is just no one who could take my attention from Suzy right now.   And it makes me wonder.   Is Suzy the one for me?   Or is letting her go the start of something good?

 

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  “I didn’t know you’d be on tonight,” she says with that goofy smile she always has on her face.   It’s Monday night. I usually work on Tuesday morning, Wednesday afternoon, and Friday night; the times she doesn’t work for Taj Jackon PUB.   I smile in response. “Yeah. I’m going to the city this weekend. My brother’s high school graduation ceremony is on next Tuesday.”   “I see.”   Silence ensues as we look at each other, waiting for the other to keep talking.   She resumes the conversation.   “Leave me the keys, L. I’ve spoken to Daniel. He’s okay with me staying.” She takes her hand out from her the pocket of her black hoodie and extends her hand out to me.   Curious, and reluctant because Daniel has not informed me anything, I ask, “What are you staying for?”   She seems stumped by my question, but decides to address it coolly, the way she always does. She shrugs and calmly reply, “For a drink,” and adds, “I feel like a drink tonight.”   I regard her hand that is hanging in the air and fingers the keys in the pocket of my pants.   I don’t know whether I should give it to her. I know she won’t steal anything; she is good friends with Daniel. But something is holding me back.   “Here,” she says. When I look up, she has shown me the screen of her phone. She is making a phone call to Daniel.   “Hello?” Daniel’s deep voice is heard from the speaker and I take it from her.   “Hello?”   “L?” Surprise. “Why do you have Amber’s phone?”   “Um, Dan, she is at the PUB now as I’m closing it down. She said she wants to stay for the night—”   “Oh yeah!” Amber must have been telling the truth then. I hear Daniel’s wistful sigh, “Give the keys to her. It’s okay. I know. She is just… having a bad time at the moment. I wish I can come and keep her company, but it’s my Grandpa’s birthday dinner tonight.”   “Oh yeah. That’s fine. I’ll give it to her then.”   “Yeah. I have to go now. They’re calling me. Tell her to lock all the doors when she is done!”   After hanging up, I hand Amber back her phone. She puts it back in her pocket and gazes at me. “So, can I have the keys now?” she inquires politely.   I stare at her extended hand for a moment. My eyes sweep over to the pouring rain outside.   “It’s raining cats and dogs tonight, I’ll stay with you.”   She gives me an irritated look. It startles me as she has been very friendly from the start, but now, her attitude changes. “Daniel has told you I can stay right?”   My heartbeat accelerates. I could hear it in my eardrums and feel it in my chest. I have no intention of offending her, but she has misunderstood.   “I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t want to go home in this weather.”   “You were going to go home anyway,” she points out.   “Yeah, but I wasn’t going to stay here alone.”   Rolling her eyes, she walks past me towards the bar.   Pushing her hoodie to reveal her dark hair with blonde stripes, she murmurs, loud enough for me to hear, “Suit yourself.”   I grin and make myself comfortable on the high stool. Folding my arms on the bench, I say, “Can I have Lemon, Lime, and Bitters please?”   She shoots me a look that stabs me straight on the chest.   God, this girl is feisty.   I hope she wouldn’t embarrass me and rejects my request, but to my surprise, she grabs a second empty glass and puts it next to hers. Seeing this, I smile reflexively. As she makes our drinks with her expert hands and bartender skills, I think about how long we will be staying here tonight. To be honest, I know nothing about Amber Liu, if I count out all those rumours that have circulated around Fairfield. We never worked together since we don’t always have the same shifts; she comes on when I go off and vice versa.   Besides, they’re just rumours, right? The accuracy and reliability are not proven unless you know the full story. Though, I do know that some are true facts.   The fact that she is from the city and has come to Fairfield to attend university here. Fairfield University is renowned for the Communication Degree, Journalism major, because a famous Australian writer graduated from there and is now teaching there. Thus, many have come to this small town for the education.   The fact that Amber Liu is a lesbian who had been in a three-year relationship with Krystal Jung—who people think is a “very beautiful” Asian. Not that I disagree, but I just don’t think she is as pretty as everyone brags about.   The fact that they have broken up just over a week ago. According to Sung Jong, Krystal has an affair back in the city, with a girl from her high school.   It makes me wonder why two people get into a relationship without giving their full commitment to it. Relationship is hard work; it’s not just about who you talk to everyday, who you spend the night with, or who you go on dates with. It’s about staying with each other through ups and downs, and nothing should change even if you’re separated.   Not trying to say that I’m mature enough, but I’ve always thought Krystal is very immature from the way she behaves. She is in her last year of high school, three years younger than us, what do we expect? That’s the time when girls, and boys, want to have the time of their life.   A thud sound coming from in front of me halts my thoughts. Amber has placed my drink on the bench before me and is making her way to the seat next to me. Or so I have thought. Except, she decides to sit on the stool two seats away from me.   I frown at her choice. Somewhat offended, I speak up, “I don’t bite, you know?”   She gives me a condescending look and then looks away, chuckling.   “What?” I ask.   Sipping from her Ginger Beer Spider, she takes a moment before turning to me with a humoured look. Saying nothing, she moves to the seat next to me and settles there as she continues to drink. We don’t speak and just sit there in silence, sipping our drinks. In the few hours that pass, the only conversation we have is my request for her to make me another drink. I think we drown about three glasses already and I have to take a few trips to the toilet. I’m surprised by the amount of her alcohol consumptions. It worries me though, she drinks too much to