Lee Eunhyuk. He was the boy of my dreams. He started coming to my school when I was in second grade, but he was in a different class than me, so I barely caught a glimpse of him. In the third grade, again, he wasn't in my class, but then came fourth grade and for the first time, I finally got to see him, hear him, watch him.....then......I fell madly in love with him.

His brown hair was always cut just perfectly and his bangs, they would sometimes face upwards but if they didn't, they hung straight down on his forehead. His brown eyes were the brownest of the browns and when he smiled, oh, that cute gummy smile his friends would always of but I would always find it cute and charming. His entire face lit up. He had the straightest, whitest teeth I'd ever seen. He was a dream. I was obsessed with him, and it was the beginning of a secret crush that I'd hold onto for the many years to come.

In fifth and sixth grade, Eunhyuk and I ended up having different teachers so I didn't see him as much, but he was on my mind and in my heart just in the same way. During lunch or recess, I'd steal glimpses of him. I couldn't erase his brown eyes out of my heart.

When sixth grade came to an end, we were off to high school. I knew I'd be meeting new boys and Eunhyuk would be meeting new girls. I was excited and nervous. For three years, I secretly loved him, dreamed about him and never shared that thought and feeling with anyone.

Finally, the first day of high school came. I hardly slept at all that night, I was so scared and nervous and anxious all at the same time. Funny how this guy can give me this sort of feeling right?

When the bus arrived at our new school, I went to my first class and then my second--and there was no Eunhyuk. I went to my third class and finally my fourth. I walked in the classroom and there he was, sitting alone at a desk. He gave me a huge grin as if he was so relieved to see a familiar face, mine!

I sat right next to him and we talked. We talked and talked and talked. It was different this time, we were in high school and we didn't know anyone else in class except each other. We talked until class started and then we talked at the end of class and we even walked out together! Except, I wasn't really walking, I was floating! Well, at least in my point of view.

That's how it became every day in fourth period during those first few weeks. Jason and I sat next to each other and talked. We became fast friends, more than we'd ever been before. Then one day, my heart almost exploded.

"Hey Hyoyeon, I have an idea of what you can do today when you get home." Eunhyuk told me as we walked out of the classroom

"What?" I asked curiously

"You can call me." he answered, making me speechless "...call me at around four o'clock." 

"O-Okay." I said while my lips and heart were quivering

With trembling hands, I picked up the phone. It was already four o'clock, just like he said. I heard the phone right, then another.

"Hello?" I heard, whose voice I recognized as Eunhyuk's

"...hi..." I said, hoping that he'd know that it was me who was speaking to him. 

He did though. After the first few minutes, I began to relax and he did too. We talked on the phone for more than an hour! It felt like I was dreaming, I was flying, and as if my head was in the clouds! I even found out that he and I shared a common passion: Dancing. And to top it all off, the first dance of the year was coming up that Friday and I began to hope that Jason might ask me to the dance with him! Was my dream on the verge of coming true?

Maybe it was.

The next day, I wanted to run to fourth-period class but I didn't. I walked slowly and coolly, fighting the butterflies that were flying around my stomach.

I went in and sat in my usual spot next to Eunhyuk. He looked at me and flashed me a handsome smile. Right away, the teacher started talking and try as I might, I couldn't really pay attention. My heart was pounding in my chest as I sat next to the boy of my dreams, the boy I had talked to on the phone for more than an hour the day before!

To my total surprise, he slipped a note on my desk. With trembling hands, I picked up the folded slip of paper. My face became red hot and I hoped it wouldn't look as red as it felt.

What could this be? I thought Is he telling me that he likes me? Is he going to ask me to the dance? Is my long-time dream finally going to come true?

I carefully and quietly opened the piece of paper and saw one sentence written there. I looked closely and read the words: "Hyoyeon, will you ask your friend, Hwang Tiffany, if she likes me? Thanks, Eunhyuk." 

Fighting the tears that were about to flow down, I quickly folded it back up and put it in my book. I slowly looked over at Eunhyuk and quickly nodded a "yes" to him. The teacher rambled on,but I was in a brokenhearted world of my own.

I did what Eunhyuk asked me to do. Hwang Tiffany was actually a very beautiful person. Sweet and kind. No wonder Eunhyuk would like her.

I found out that Tiffany didn't like him, but it didn't really matter to me. For the first time ever, I had experienced a broken heart and I had have enough of it.

I had decided right then and there that I wasn't going to spend another second of my life hanging onto a dream that was never going to come true. After much crying, I gave up on Eunhyuk.

A crush is the path to a secret heartache.

Eunhyuk and I never got together, but I watched him with this girlfriend or that one and he watched me as I found new boyfriends who captured my heart. Soon, high school graduation came and we said our goodbyes. He went to America to study for college while I stayed here in Korea.

After that, we never saw each other again.

Though I'm already working now as a dance teacher, and that so many years have passed since that time, Lee Eunhyuk never knew that a blond-haired girl with brown eyes, having the same passion as him loved him from afar. In fact, no one ever knew. He was my secret love for many many years, until now.

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