Divorce. I heard the word divorce last night. It’s become a nightly routine: run upstairs, lock the windows, lock the door and try to ignore the shouting that’s happening.

It turns out that lying wasn’t the only thing that was happening. My mom has been in two affairs. My dad also has a mistress.

They’re not even trying to hide the fact that they’re mad. Instead of feeling bad and evaluating the situation when they find out that their child knows about the fights, they just keep arguing and throwing that word around. It’s like once the child knew; they’re not going to hide it. The shouting will only get louder.

I never knew how much that word would worry me. I never thought that I’d have to worry about it. But here I am, quivering at the very thought that I might never see one parent again.

I sit here under the cherry blossom tree. The same tree that Atsuko and I talked under. I am reminded of the beauty. It’s like marriage isn’t it? We see it as beautiful, and we thought it’ll last forever but eventually, it’ll change with the seasons.

“Yuko!” I don’t even have to look and I can tell that Atsuko is coming up to me. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t want to go into the cafeteria. I don’t want to be around people right now.” I say.

“Yuko,” Atsuko sighs and sits down next to me. “Is it not getting better?”

I shake my head. “I heard the word divorce.” Out of all the words they were shouting, that’s the only word that made an impression on me.

Atsuko sighs and leans against the tree. “I really thought it would get better, not worse.” She turns to me, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” I tell her.

---

School’s over but I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here where I have the chance to forget about this situation.

“Yuko!” Atsuko runs up to me. “Let’s hang out!”

“No, thank you.” I say. Just a few weeks ago, it was the other way around. I ask her and she rejects.

“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!” she says. I’ve said that too. “We can go to the arcade.”

I turn around and force a smile. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.

---

I haven’t been to the arcade for a long time but mindless button mashing is perhaps what I need right now. We go play “Dance AKB”. I look for Heavy Rotation: the happiest song that I know of.

One! Two! Three! Four!

The music starts playing and we do the moves that are shown on the screen.

I want you! I need you! I love you!

Then I realize, that’s what I want my parents to say to each other: to put this all behind and start anew. I start dancing slower and I regret picking this song now. Ironic that the song that I thought would make me happy turns out to be the song that would make me miserable. I hope Atsuko doesn’t notice.

After an hour, I realize I forgot to call my mom. I call her to tell her that I’ll be late tonight. I want to make sure that I don’t fuel her anger tonight. She tells me it’s fine and hangs up.

“Here,” Atsuko hands me a bottle of water. “Take it.”

I take the bottle and smile. I can feel that my smile is weak but I guess it is better than nothing. “Thanks for today.”

“You’re welcome!” It seems like Atsuko and I traded places these past few weeks. She’s more energetic, jubilant even. I, on the other hand, am more of a hollow shell.

Just like she was.

“What should we play next?” I ask.

“Hmm…” Atsuko puts her fingers on her chin. “AH! How about that!” She points to a blue and black machine that says AKB0048. I think it’s a new game. I haven’t seen it before.

We walk towards the machine and on its sides are two things that look like microphones. So is this a singing game? Singing is the last thing I want to do.

Atsuko puts the coins in and we go through the tutorial. Turns out it isn’t a singing game. It’s a hack and slash game. The microphones are the handles to what the game refers to as micsabers.

The game is fairly simple. Slash the robots in front of you.

For about an hour, Atsuko and I scream every time we see a robot that pops out of nowhere or we slash a robot which is every five seconds.

“Aww!” I laughed. “I died. Go get them Atsuko!”

I cheer her on. She keeps slashing robots and she finally reached the end. This so exciting.

The end boss is a giant robot and I think it’s cheap how the game is programmed. You can’t really dodge the missiles the robot shoots. You just stand still and wait for them to hit.

Her health bar is low and I’m biting my nails. She can’t lose!

“Argh! I’ve had it!” Atsuko starts taking her micsabers and starts slashing randomly. It seems to work and I’m surprised that the missiles that the robots shoot don’t hurt her. Maybe you were supposed to strike the missiles, not dodge them.

“You are the winner!” the machine says.

I jump and down with excitement and I hug Atsuko. “You did it!”

“I won!” We both laugh.

It turns out she was the first one ever to complete the game so she gets a golden micsaber replica as a prize.

“Here,” she hands me the micsaber. “You have it.”

“No, I can’t.” I say. “You won it.”

“It’s fine.” Atsuko says and she holds out the micsaber out even more.

“Okay.” I take the micsaber. “I think we should leave. It’s getting late.”

“All right.” Atsuko says.

I’m dreading my ride home.