We sit underneath the cherry blossom tree in the center of the courtyard. I told her what happened last night. I told her how scared I am about my parent’s marriage, how that I might hear screaming one night, how I’ll be living in fear for the next few weeks or so.

“It was just one night, Yuko.” Atsuko says. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I heard mom said that it wasn’t the first time it happened!”  I tell Atsuko and I try to hold in my tears. I sigh and bury my face into my hands. “I always thought that my parent’s marriage was perfect. Even if they did get into fights, I always thought that they would overcome it.”

Atsuko puts her hand on my back. I just want comfort, whether it’s forced or not. “Yuko, if you want, it’s okay to stay with me until the whole thing subsides.”

I want to. I want to stay by Atsuko’s side. Hear her comfort me, help me forget all I heard last night but I would be more of a bother to her and her family.

“It’s okay.” I tell her. I don’t want to tell her that I would just be a bother, practically a freeloader.

“Are you sure?” Atsuko asks.

“I’m sure.” The two of us gets up. I look up at the sky. It’s beautiful how the pink flowers of the cherry blossom tree look against the bright blues of the sky. But even this beauty will disappear one day.

“I’ll take you home.” Atsuko says. “Come on.”

We pull up to my house and I get out. “Wait,” Atsuko stops me. “Remember, if you need anything, you have my number.”

I smile. “Thanks.”

I walk towards the door, scared to see if my mom and dad are home and fighting like last night. Luckily, only mom is home.

“I’m home.” I say and my mom comes out from the living room to greet me.

“How was your day dear?” She asks. I wonder if she notices how bothered I am by the fight.

“It was good, nothing spectacular.” I take my shoes off and run upstairs to my room.

Later that night, I hear them fighting again. Dad came home late and my mom knew that he wasn’t exactly working. My heart tightens. Their shouts are getting louder and louder and I get up to lock my door and windows again. Please, don’t hurt each other. I can’t pray that the fighting will stop. It’s too late.

I get my phone and text Atsuko: They’re fighting again. I hit send and wait for a reply. Instead of hearing my phone text alert, I hear my phone ring.

It’s Atsuko.

I answer, “Hi.” I said.

“Hey, don’t worry. It’ll be okay.” Atsuko says to me. If she was here, in my room, would she be saying that? It seems like it’ll be anything but okay.

“Can’t you hear the shouting?” I ask.

“I can,” Atsuko says. Is she lying? Does she know that it won’t be okay? “But have hope.”

I smile. “Thanks.”

“Let me know if you need anything else.” Atsuko hangs up.

I put my phone aside. Hope? I hoped yesterday that it won’t get worse, and it’s getting worse.

Hope is useless.