Beep

I was searching for my phone until I felt it underneath my pillows. I shook my head, mentally cursing how forgetful I am. I checked my phone to see who texted me and saw a notification that I received a new text. I already know who it’s from.

I closed my eyes and gave a sigh.  I know who it’s from. It’s from him.

He says he misses me. Do I miss him? I don’t. I hate him. I don’t want to see him ever again.

I’m scared coming back. I don’t want to go back to Korea. I want to continue promoting with Super Junior-M, away from him, away from the pain.

I hate him. I especially hate receiving text like these, especially from him.

No, I don’t. I take it back. I hate myself. I hate myself for loving him, loving him more than I should.  I hate myself for looking at his lovely smile, his cheery personality, but most of all loving... him. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t stop looking at him. I can’t help myself for loving him.

Beep

                From: Nae chingu

Hae!!! Why aren’t you texting me back? Are you guys busy? Or is it your free time? Text me back. I’ll call you later. I can’t wait until you come back. I miss you...

I threw my phone across my bed.

“Aaaggghhh!” I yelled pulling my hair. I feel like I’m going crazy. I could feel tears form around my eyes as they kept on flowing. Every texts, every word, every smile that comes from him is making me go crazy.

I felt someone’s presence next to me as they sat next to me on my bed, comforting me.

I looked up to see who came in my room and saw Kyuhyun beside me. I was about to tell him something but he just shushed me and continued to comfort my hysterical self. Kyuhyun was comforting me when I could feel more tears fall to my face.

Beep

More tears filled my eyes; I can only guess who sent that message. I looked up and saw Kyuhyun pick my phone and gave it to me.

“It’s Eunhyuk-hyung,” Kyuhyun said as I looked at his hand offering me the phone. Kyuhyun opened my closed hands and put the phone in my hands. “Don’t avoid him hyung. You love him. It’s clear to see that but avoiding him won’t solve anything. I know that you miss him. You don’t actually think that no one notices you take a glance on your phone to see if he texted you. After you check if he did text you, you just ignore his texts. He misses you and you miss him. Why are you making it complicated?” Kyuhyun asked as he was heading towards the door of my room suite.

“B...b...be...c...cau...se I love him,” I managed to say.

“Huh? That’s why I said it’s obvious that you guys love each other. Why are you making it complicated” Kyuhyun looked at me with a puzzled expression. “That doesn’t make sense hyung,” Kyuhyun said as he tried to understand my situation.

I could feel my never ending cries produce more tears.  “What doesn’t make sense? Is it the fact that I love him more than I should? Or is it the fact that that I like a member from my own group? Or is it the fact that I like my best friend? Or is it the fact that I like a guy?  None of them makes sense but I still do. I can’t help it but I just do,” I said crying more hysterically.

Ring Ring Ring

Kyuhyun gave my ringing phone a glance, hinting me to answer my phone.  “No, hyung that’s not what I meant. What I don’t understand is you making a big deal out of this. He cares for you and you care about him so why don’t you confess and tell him how you feel. Don’t care too much about what other people think and just tell the most important person the most important thing... tell Eunhyuk-hyung you like him. Who knows he might like you back,” Kyuhyun said and continued to walk outside my bedroom suite.

I looked at my phone and tried to decide if I should answer it or not. I was about to answer it when the ringing stopped. His phone call became a missed call. I checked the notification and opened the unread message from earlier.

                From: Nae chingu

                Hae, saranghe. I miss you...<3

Ring Ring Ring

I picked up the phone after the second ring. “Y...yeo...bo...sa...yo?”

“Hae, are you okay? Why didn’t you answer my texts or calls? Is working in Super Junior –M hard? Is that why? Are you okay? Answer me Hae! You’re making me worried,” Hyukkie said quickly on the other line making it hard to respond.

“Yeah... totally I’m f...i...ne,” I stuttered.  I cleared my throat and started to talk again, “Sorry I didn’t answer earlier, I was talking to Kyuhyun about something.”

“Aaahhh... okay that makes sense but Hae don’t think that I don’t notice you avoiding me. I believe you when you say that you were talking to Kyuhyun about something earlier but I feel like you’re hiding something. Tell me what’s bothering you,” Eunhyuk said.

“I miss you,” I told him.

I could hear him laugh at the other side of the phone. He said, “if you miss me, wouldn’t it be a good idea to answer my texts and calls?”

“Hehehehe...yeah I guess,” I answered.

We stayed quiet for a while. It was so quiet that it was almost awkward. “Yah... Eunhyuk get off the phone and stop talking to your boyfriend. Leeteuk already went out and he said that if you’re not there in 5 minutes he’s leaving for Sukira without you,” I heard Heechul’s voice at the other end.

“I guess I’ll talk to you later,” I said.

“Yeah... you better answer me. I miss you bab- i mean Hae,” he said. He hunged up before I could reply. Was I just going crazy or did he almost call me babe or baby?