“Im sorry, but the person that your trying to reach isn’t available right now hang up and try ag-“ I gave out a long and heavy sigh.  I hung up your phone and placed it on the dinner table.  I looked across my seat and stared at the empty seat.  I got up and turned off the dinner candles and sat back down.  I looked at the cuts that were on my hands and remembered how difficult it was for me to make Sunggyu’s, the love of my life’s favorite meal.  I quietly sat there eating my dinner.  I stare at the plate, which had Sunggyu’s favorite Tenderloin stake, and I even left Seoul to buy the freshest snow crabs for Daegetang.  I prepared everything by hand, the salad, the main course even dessert.  Drops of water drop onto the plate.  I felt the tears coming out of my eyes.

Early this morning:

“Yeobo! Are you coming for dinner?” I excitedly said threw the phone.  I was super happy that I was going to celebrate his birthday with him, It’s been 3 years and I never spent time with him on his birthday.  He was always busy and always spent his birthday with his friends.  “ne~ yeobo, Im going to have dinner with you today, I have no more schedules so I’ll meet you at home at 7 ok?” I played with a strand of your hair, I couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.   Today was going to be the first time I was going to celebrate his birthday…me and him together as a couple. “Ne yeobo~ See you later saranghae.” I said trying to hold in my excitement.  “Ne~ Saranghae.” I hung up and squealed at the top of my lungs. I jumped up and down like a little girl.  Hearing his voice say Saranghae made my heart flutter, it made my smile.  I then felt my phone vibrate.  I stopped what I was doing and saw a notification.  I unlocked it and saw a picture of Sunggyu with his hands making a heart shape and at the bottom of the picture was a caption that said Saranghae yeobo~I really love him and he really loves me.

End of flash back.

I looked at the clock.  It’s 9:05…where could he be?  I got up with my dirty plate and placed it on the sink.  I slowly walked to the table and placed a cover over Sunggyu’s plate.  I walked to the fridge and took one of the post it notes and took a pen from the counter.  I walked to the table and placed the note on the table, I took the cap off the pen and began to write.  Yeobo~ I made your favorite meal today…I hope you enjoy it!  You gave out a weak smile, I felt tears come out of my eyes.  I used my fingers to wipe away the tears.  With all my love youSaranghae and saengil chukha hamnida <3 A teardrop fell onto the post it. “no, ah damn it!” I panicked a little but just left it as it was.  I placed the post it on the cover and walked to our room.  I didn’t even bother to change into my sleeping clothes.  I laid on our bed and looked at the ceiling.  This wasn’t the first time that’s happened.  I felt the tears stream down my cheeks.  I grabbed my pillow and held it really tight and turned my body to the other side. Its happened on my birthday…It happened when we were suppose to meet my parents two weeks ago.  It even happened on Valentines Day.  It’s happened every year so far. I knew that he was busy with the Infinite’s comeback, and that he wants to spend time with his friends, but I also wanted him to spend time with me.  The tears kept on coming down my cheeks and just fell asleep.  I woke up the next morning, my eyes and face was swollen.  I got out of bed and walked out of our room.  I walked to the living room and everything was left like it was since last night.  I would of thought that he would of slept on the coach, but no.  I walked to the kitchen and noticed that the cover was untouched, the post it was still there.  I didn’t even glance at the post it, since I knew it was the one I wrote and I didn’t want to re-read the note.  I felt my eyes water again but I held those tears in.

            Its been almost a two weeks since I’ve seen Sunggyu.  I couldn’t feel his heat and I couldn’t hear his voice.  He wouldn’t answer his phone, I would text him but he would only answer every once and a while.  I would even question myself if he really did love me or if he was having an affair.  It was 8 o’ clock and I called one of my friends who was also a member in Infinite.  I dialed his number and placed the phone on my ear.  “yoboseyo?” He answered.  “Ah, ne, Hoya oppa.” I said shly, I wasnt sure if he was busy or not but my deep thoughts were interrupted by the loud music in the other line. “Ah, annyoung! Whats up??” He said cheerfully.  “Hoya oppa…umm…is Sunggyu oppa there?”  I questioned.  It sounded as if he was at a club.  Please oppa…please don’t be there… “Ne,you, he’s here.” My heart sank.  At…a club? “Um…where exactly are you?” I tried to make sure that my voice wouldn’t crack and I held in my tears that were trying to escape.  So…you left me to go hang out with your friends huh Sunggyu oppa… I felt a tear slip out of my eyes, I quickly wiped it away.  “We are at a club to celebrate out 2^nd win! Our first win was on M! Countdown and our second win was on Inkigayo!” His voice sounded super energetic.   “Do you want to speak to him?” I wanted to say yes but it felt as if my heart would brake even more. “Ani…gwenchana…Annyeong.”  I hung up the phone and tapped it on my hand.  “Tsk…fine so be it.”  I looked at my contacts and called a couple of my best friends.  I went into the shower and the water, after that  I went into our room and got myself ready.  I looked into the closet and found a pretty black strapless mini dress which showed a little bit of cleavage and showed a nice exposure of my back.  I lightly curled my hair and added a little bit of make up on.  My phone vibrated and I read my text.  “Tsk…Sunggyu you’re not the only one that can go out and have fun.”  I walked out of our building and saw Hyorin and Nana outside talking infront of Hyorin’s car  “Yah! you-shi! Its been awhile since we went to the club isn’t it?” Hyorin said as she looked at her pocket mirror making sure everything was ok and looked at me with a smile. It’s been a while since I wen out with them. I placed my hands on the sides of my dress fixing it making sure it was ok.  “Unnie! I’ve missed you so much!! I haven’t seen you since last week at the Café!!” Nana s her arms around min and I couldn’t help but smile.  This is what I need right now, I need to spend time with my friends and not worry about him. “well. Gacha!” I lifted up a fist into the air and got into Hyorin’s car.  Hyorin started the engine and drove us off to a near by club.  As long as I have fun and don’t bump into him, Im okay. Through out the whole car ride, Hyorin was blasting her ipod loud causing the other drivers to look at our car.  I looked out the window and saw an ahjushi look at us as if we were drunk.  I looked away and covered my face due to the embarrassment.  The car drove past the ahjusshi’s car and I looked at the sky. I couldn’t help but frown a little.  I walked into the club, and I could feel the music blasting and the rhythm moving through my body. I was excited and walked to the dance floor.  My body swayed with the beat of the music, I felt free and was in my own world. I felt as if I had no worries. I then feel a pair of hands on my hips. I felt his body move close to mine. “Your very beautiful..”he whispered into my ears.  I felt a tingle go down my spine. I felt his hips swirl in circles, his hands guided me and I followed his every move.  I felt my body heat up.  He spun me around and he was now in front of me.  His hands slid up my sides and he cupped my face. I could feel his breath around my cheeks.  He brushed his lips around my forehead down my cheeks and on my lips. It felt good to be close with a guy, but I knew it was wrong. “Stop…” I said to him but he didn’t listen. “How about me and you go somewhere else…”  I felt his lips down my neck.”…and have some more fun.”  My eyes widened as I felt his lips press around my collarbone. “I said stop!” I shook my head and pushed him away from me.  Hyorin and Nana came running to me.  “you?! Gwaenchana?!?” Hyorin looked at me up and down making sure I was okay. “Ne…” I looked at the guy who was looking at the floor holding his head.  “Hyung!” I heard a familiar voice come from a distance and in my view I noticed 3 familiar figures. “How dare you touch my unnie!” Nana Stepped in from of him hitting him with her purse.  I walked over to Nana and pulled her arm telling her to stop. She looked at me and walked over to Hyorin.  The 3 figures came closer and stood next to the guy. “Ah noona…” I looked at the young male and my eyes widened. “Sun-Sungjong?...” I stuttered. I looked at the other two figures. “Ho-Hoya?…..Woohyun??” I then looked at the guy.  He raised his head up, both our eyes widened.  “you-shi?” I covered my mouth with my hands.  My hands slowly lowered down having only my fingers rest on my lips, I felt my tears escape my eyes.  “Sunggyu oppa?....”

To be continued….