What the hell am I doing? I am Shim Changmin, the kingka of this school, one of the most powerful and fearful person in this school, not to say about every harsh and mean things I do to other people without think about their feeling; and now I’m showing a care action toward a nerd? I could just him raw, why I need to prepare him first? Why I care about other people to see his gorgeous body while I practically my ex-es in a public and not bother about bareness? Wait, did I say gorgeous? No…! There must bee something wrong with my brain now, perhaps food poisoning? Or stress? Is there another logical reason? Gosh!

                “Hey, what’s happen with you? You just stare blankly for ten minutes now?” Kyuhyun’s voice brings me back from my trailed mind about the nerd. We’re in our usual place to eat lunch, but I got no appetite thus make me just play the food on my plate.

                “Nothing.” I responded coldly at him as I scan our table. There’s two empty spot on the table. One belongs to my ex stupid girlfriend and …

                “Where’s Yoochun?” My question answered by a silence and some gulped down their food really hard. My eyebrow rose slightly at the silence as one of my corner lip raised as well.

                “Well… I guess I know where I could find him. I bet all of you know where he is too, right?” Again, nobody answers my question.

                My eyes landed on Leeteuk as he gulped down whatever at his throat. “I guess the oldest could tell us what’s happen in this school for one week, right? And I bet it’s interesting to know some news about our missing friend here as well…” I ask with a mocked tone and stressed the word friend.

                “You see… When you’re go in vacation…” He started, and I just pinched my nose bridge at the mentioning of vacation. “Yoochun always absent to eat lunch with us. Usually, he will eat lunch with Junsu…”

                “Call him my toy!” I snap at him. “What else about Yoochun and my toy?”

                “Apparently Yoochun always fetch him before go to school and take him home as well. I heard that Yoochun spend time hanging out with… your toy and his family.”

                All Leeteuk said are too much. I stand up harshly and walk out from the Glass, leaving all my so called friends dumbfounded at their place. I bet Yoochun stay with him right now and comfort him. Hugging his fragile body and say soothing word to ease whatever pain I brought to him. So why should I care about him?

                “Argghhhh…” I let out all the stress and confusion inside my head and punch whatever near me, as it happens to be a wall. Not care so much about the wound at my hand, I quickly go to my car and drive home. There’s no one at home at this hour, because my sister already back to her school, my mom still at work and my grandfather usually at his office in school.

                After 15 minutes driving like crazy maniac, finally I arrive at home. Just when I walk slowly to my room, I hear some noises from my mom’s room. Is mom home already? He’s rarely at home at this hour; because apparently he is so busy to keep his mind out of my bastard father. I took a step closer to mom’s room only to hear some panting, and groaning from two grown men. Frowned, I decide to knock and call for my mom.

                “Mom…? Are you home already?”

                The noises suddenly shut down, replaced by some hurrying sound.

                “Mom…” I knock again, and two minutes later, finally the door opened by my flushed mom. He just wearing his bedroom robe while I could see his lips are swollen with a clearly fresh hickey and some bite marks at his neck. And what make my eyes widen even more are his partner are no other but my so called father.

                “What is he doing here?” I ask while pointing at my father. He is no better than my mother, just tied up his robe, still sitting at the edge of the bed. His face shows his annoyance because it seems I just barge in when they are just about to have .    

                “And why should I can’t be here?” He asks, frowning at my direction, but I just shrugged off his question and eyed my mother.

                “Mom, could you explain what that bastard do here?” I hissed to make my point that I don’t want to talk to my father. This time my father already stand up and make his way to stand beside my mother; his face now is mix between annoyance and slightly angry.

                “Min, he is your father… You can’t call him like that.”

                “I’ll call him what I like to call. Beside, he matches the title I gave him.” I snap at what my mother said, and smirking to the said man.

                My father gets red because of anger as I said that. He looks like almost punch me but my mother prevents him to do so. “You…! How dare you talk to me like that…?”

                “Yun…, please stop this. Nothing could be afforded when we just follow our anger. Calm down, please?” My mother now stands between me and my father to prevent any of us punches each other. “And… Min, why you’re here? You supposed to be at school. And…, OMO…! Why your hand is bleeding? Come on… Yun, please take the kit aid at the bathroom please…” All his calm tone disappears as he saw my bleeding hand from my previous action at school.

                “It’s nothing. I better get going before do something to him…” I can’t stand any longer to be with my father. Every time I see his face, all my mother misery comes across my mind and I’m not trust myself to be with him. Thankfully our vacation could end without any injury at both of us, because my mother seems to suggest to booked 3 rooms; one for my sister, one for me and one for both of them. So, my vacation just about me locked myself in my room and refuses to participate with their activities. At first my sister forces me to join them, but when she sees all the atmosphere go wrong between me and our father, she couldn’t help but let me do my own activity.

                “Min…, couldn’t you just bear a little to be in the same room with your father? At least do it for me…?” My mom plea and sad face makes me bite my bottom lip, contemplated about what to do. My father already back from bathroom and bring the kit aid with him, even though his face show slightly annoyance but it seems there is some… care feeling?

                Finally I give up on my mom plea and let him usher me to sit down on the sofa while he kneel in front of me. I refuse to look at my father, who stand behind my mom and assist him with everything he need, so I just look outside the window and not talking at all.

                “Yun, could you get us some drinks here? And I prefer to have some fruits also…”

                “But… boo…” Okay, it’s creepy to hear some whining come from my father.

                “Its okay, Yun. I could handle it from here.” With my peripheral sight, I could see my father sigh before give a light kiss on my mother’s forehead and process his way to kitchen.

                After his gone, I turn around to face my mother who smiling so sweetly while bandage my wound. “What he is doing here? Tell me the truth… Oh, don’t bother to lie to me, because I know if something is not right.”

                “He told me about retire from business and let his brother to handle it for a while before pass it to you. He wants to repair our relationship again. And did you know that he already sold his apartment? That’s why he’s here, Min. He’ll leave with us again.”

                My mom’s face shows everything what he feels inside. I could tell about how happy he is right now, and I don’t want to ruin whatever he’s happy about; even if it’s mean I’ll be out from house more often that usually. “If it is make you happy, than I don’t have any excuses to object him, right? About the business thing… I… Let’s not talk about this, please…?”

                “So, you agree about this?” My mom’s shining face really eases my headache a little and makes me smile sincerely for his happiness.

                “Yes… But one thing I’ll warn you before hand, I’ll be out from house more often. It’s actually disadvantage for me, because it means I couldn’t eat for homemade meals. But then, you know how the situation if you put me in the same room with him, right?”

                “Min, why both of you…”

                “Mom, just stop about this topic, please?” I raised my hand to prevent my mother talking about him anymore. My mother just let out a sighed before nodded his head, understandingly.

                “Fine. But I like to ask, what happen to your hand? Is there something wrong in school?”

                “Nope… It’s just…” Seems like my mom understand about how hard whatever I want to say, so he sit beside me and rub my back lightly.

                “Just tell me… You know…, even if I couldn’t give a right solution, but it still could lighten your heart a little when you tell someone about your problem.”

                “Mom… Today…, I encounter with my toy, err… I mean the Kim Junsu, and he’s talking to Park Yoochun.”

                “Park Jungsoo’s son?” My mom ask suddenly, and I nodded my head, confirm his question.

                “You know what state I go to school this morning, right? I’m mad about this vacation and when I go to school, I see them together. That scene like adding fuel to my angriness and what I do next are really out of my sanity…”

                “What do you mean by that…?” My mom frowning as he eyed me confusedly.

                “I drag him to my private room and… Well, you know…” I try to not make an eye contact with my mom due to my guiltiness.

                “No, I don’t know. What did you do to this poor boy actually?” My mom already crossed his hands in front of his chest as he seems to catch what I mean.

                “Well… something you almost do earlier.” I gulp as I finish my sentence.

                “Are you sure? Because if you drag this boy, then I guess what’s happen next are . What me and your father about to do are making love. So it is not the same. Young man, what did you do?” At this point, my mom already narrowed his eyes.

                “I’m… I… err… Is it , if the other party enjoyed it too? Maybe at first I force myself at him, but then he seems to enjoy what I do to him…”

                A slap landed at my upper arm as another one followed. “Yah! How dare you to this boy? Am I not taught you right? How could you?”

                I try my best to avoid but it seems not work. “Mom, I regret what I do to him too, but I don’t know why I do it at first place.” My mom leaned back to regain his breath and he look so disappointed with whatever I said earlier.

                “Yah… what happen here?” Oh great, now my father are here. He look at me and then to mom. He immediately dashed to mom and kneeled beside him.

                “Boo, what happen? Did you two have fight?” I see he caress my mom’s cheek and smiling softly to him. I couldn’t help but to see the loving gaze he shoot toward my mom also. Is he really going to change and make mom happy? When our eyes make contact, I immediately turn around and get up from the sofa.

                “Min, we’re not done yet…” I hear my mom’s voice. I turn back to face him, confuse and scare at the same time with whatever he wants to say now.

                “It’s just my assumption, but… by any chance… did you fall in love with this boy?” My eyes widen at his question. Love…? Fall in Love? No one but Kim Junsu? What in the hell is happening right now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                My bottom hurt like crazy. I could feel his drip down when I try to stand up to get dressed while I placed my tremble hand on the couch to support me. I feel so dirty and ashamed because of what happen. I don’t know if I could face anyone outside this room, especially Yoochun. Think about him, my tears start to appear and I have to bite my bottom lip to hold the pain. Just when I try to reach my pants, my leg seems to loose its strength and I feel my body ready to fall flat on the floor. That’s when a pair of hands wraps around my waist to catch me. Startled, I turn around to see Yoochun’s face in front of mine.

                “No…” I shrieked unconsciously and push him away. I could see his sad face at my action, but he keeps approaching me and wraps the blanket around my body. My sobbing gets harder as he hugged and rubbed my back at a soothing manner.

                “Shushh…, please… I’m sorry… Please don’t cry…” My heart breaks at his word and got crumpled down as I feel his tears fall down on my shoulders. Is he crying with me now? Why? I’m not worthy to be crying for…

                “Su…, please… Don’t cry anymore… From now on I’ll promise to always be on your side. I don’t care what happen earlier, because I know it’s against your will. So please…, will you accept?” I keep sobbing for another five minutes before it’s slow down. I gather up my courage and look at him in the eye and found him looking back at me with so much sincerity in it.

                I gulped down as I shoot him a simple question, “Why?”

                “I know it is strange to say this, but I like you when I first saw you. It turned out to an admiration as I see you struggle your school life as it looks like you don’t know the word ‘give up’ itself. When finally Changmin told the entire school about you is being his own toy, I see a chance to approach you and get closer to you. No one will think it’s weird if I keep being with you, because I’m one of Changmin’s friends. That’s an advantage for me. I’m really sorry for his behavior toward you, and right now is a moment that I most felt that. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you earlier. I’m sorry, Su…” His confession really took me by surprise as his tears show up again. Hesitated, I lift up my hand and brush away the tears that fall like a waterfall out from his handsome face.

                “I… Maybe I like you… a little… no… a lot. But, I needed time… I…”

                “It’s fine. As long as you let me stay by your side, you could think for as long as you want.” Yoochun’s radiant smile make me bite my bottom lips as I think about how long I’ll keep him waiting. “Let’s go, Su… I’ll take you home…”

                Embarrassed with my situation, I hesitated for a moment to make a move. “Err, could you please go outside for a moment? I… you know, clothes…” He seems to grasp the situation and nodded understandingly.  He kisses my forehead before make his way out of the room. After he left, I sighed as I think deeply about my situation. How come he still wants me when his friend already me? Is this a prank? But he looks so sincere… With so much effort and time I manage to put my clothes on and walk to the door quietly. Just when I’m about to open the door, I could hear Yoochun’s voice slightly from the other side.

                “Yes… He already got nothing but to accept me. Yes, it’s a pity to use such an innocent one like Kim Junsu, but there’s no other choice I guess. No, he’s alright. He’s stronger than you thought. Bye. See you at the office.”

                You could see me as a statue, who standing behind the door with my left hand still at the door knob. What is that? Is my ear do some prank on me and makes me hear some hallucination? Wait, that’s something to see… Is he…, as I quote him, using me? What the hell is going on? Why he use me, when nothing there to be used? I feel so dizzy all of the sudden, but I don’t think to be in the same place with whatever or whoever make me in this state. I open the door and rushed outside, ignore Park Yoochun who smiling oh so widely at me and walk straight to school gate to looking for some quite and peaceful place for me to re-think about anything that happen to me lately.

                “Su… Junsu… Wait, please…” I could hear he call me, but I keep continue walking and ignoring him. It seems he already reach his patience, and I feel he grab my arm harshly and yank me to stop walking.

                “Auch…, It’s hurt…” I said unconsciously and he let go my arm immediately but then hold my shoulder instead, but more gentle.

                “Su, what’s happen? Is there something bothering you? Tell me, please…” I look at him coldly as I scream inside my head about how he could betray me like this.

                “Please, leave me alone. I need my own time.” Another cold words out from my mouth as I release his holding on my shoulder. I start walk away once again when I hear him call me, again.

                “Su, why…?”

                 “Just… leave me… alone…” My voice grew weaker as I hold in all the tears that threatening to fall and keep walking. When I think he’s nowhere near me, I broke down into a crying mess but keep my pace to walk out from the school. My sight blinded by the tears and I couldn’t care anymore to who I bumped into. My head keep throbbing as the dizziness comes again. Once I bump into someone that I don’t recognize who he is, but look very beautiful for a man I can’t help but feel my legs give up on me and darkness come to claim me.

                “Omo… Hey… Help me bring him to infirmary…” That’s the last thing I hear, before I lose my consciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                My mom is being weird now. First, he’s easily forgiven my father and welcomes him with an open arm into this house; not to mention about the entire affair my father do. Second, he’s saying weird thing about love and Kim Junsu? Why he put love and Kim Junsu in one sentence? And he, of all people out there must understand me really well when it comes to this love thing. The last and the weirdest is he brings someone unconscious to our home without knowing who he is and it turn out to be this Kim Junsu. What a coincidence, right?

                “Mom, what are you thinking? Why you brought someone you don’t even know? How if he’s turn out to be burglar or criminal or… I don’t know a fraud?” I almost yelled at my mom when a maid told me the news.

                 “Min, calm down please… He’s someone from your school, so it’s impossible if he’s whatever you said earlier. Beside, he looks so pale and I don’t have heart to just ignore him; he’s crying too earlier. I planned to bring him to infirmary, but the nurse already home because of some issue, so I took him home with me.” My mom’s calmness really drives me crazy. Is he not feel scared about anything worse that could happen?

                “Mom… Why you have to be so kind-hearted to a stranger? I bet his friends could handle him, why it must to be you?”

                “Well, I thought about that at first, but then some people around there seem hesitated to help me to bring him. When a teacher pass by, I stop him to help me but he said you prevent him to do so. Is that true, Min? And they told me this boy name is Kim Junsu.” His piercing gaze really makes me nervous and gulped down my saliva hardly than usual. My mom could be so scary when he got angry, which very rare to see it, but when he do that, there’s no one could stop him, even my father himself. And why fate must bring my mother and this Kim to meet each other?

                “That’s… Maybe… Err, there just misunderstood what I said… Yeah, they misunderstood.” Nervously I explain what I had said to entire school, and I couldn’t help but been thankful because I don’t stuttered when I do it.

                “So, basically, you’re saying that you treat this boy harshly than you told me previously, right?” I just nod to answer my mom’s question.

                “I don’t know what’s wrong with you. It’s better to not question it right now, because he’s going to wake up anytime soon.” With that said, my mom goes to one of the guest room where this Kim Junsu has been put in it. Hesitantly, I follow my mom step to the said room while contemplated to enter it or no. Finally I decide to just poke my head a little to see if his condition really bad as what my mom said, and what welcome me really deafening my ear.

                “YOU…!”

                It couldn’t be mistaken anymore. The voice and a hint of hate dripping on it must belong to Kim Junsu. I could see he try to get out from bed while holding to his head but my mom’s hand prevent him to do so.

                “Hey, calm down… No one here is going to do harm on you. Just lay down for a while so the dizziness could go away from your head.” My mom said softly to him, and seconds later turn to face me. “And Min, I appreciate if you could out from this room, because he clearly doesn’t like to have your presence here.”

                “Fine… It’s not like I want to be in there too…” I slowly walk away from there, but could hear my mom said something about brat or spoiled and I just grinning to heard that while shook my head, amused. How come he said that, while he is one of those people who spoiled me the most?

                “Changmin-ah…” I hear my father called me when I walk pass the living room. At first I want to ignore it, but there’s something inside my heart that told me to listen to him even if it just for this time. So, I proceed to the living room and sit at the sofa opposite from him. I studied his face and all I could see is his tired face due to his duty as a CEO of the Jung Co. one of the big company in Seoul. His handsomeness not yet fades away even if he is just as old as my mom. Both of them actually match from heaven, because I bet there is no one in this world could love this man in front of me unconditionally like my mom do. Almost all the woman and some man out there just try to up his money and popularity. Who wouldn’t want some piece of Jung Yunho, 3^rd richest man in South Korea, with a well built body and a great sense of fashion but unfortunately already attached to my mom? Even with a married status, he’s still vey hot in so many eyes. There’s no doubt about me being his son, despite the difference between our surnames, because I am somehow get my attractiveness from him.

                “Let’s get to the point here. I’m clueless about how you make a distance with me. Let’s see the fact, I’m your biological father but you treat Jaejoong better than you do to me, while he’s not your biological mother. Yes, practically he is the one who raised you until now and actually I’m so happy to see both of you get along really well.”

                “So, what’s your point here?” I snap at him, even though I know what he wants to talk about, but still give him a poker face.

                “My point is, could you at least try to accept me again as your father and treat me like one? I don’t know what I do wrong to you and make you give me a cold treatment.” His words really make me scrunched my eyebrow with a slight disgust feeling.

                 “You’re really clueless, you said? Fine, here’s the fact. I hate you because of what you do, not to me but to mom. Did you know how many nights he spent crying when you’re not home? How many nights he worried when you come home late? Did you know that mom knew your entire affair out there? Did you know how much he loves you, so he begs me to keep this from Jiyool, so she still sees you as a good father figure? Did you know how angry I was when you easily back home again and claim to rebuild your relationship, when you’re not aware at all about mom knows everything? And what makes me angry even more is when mom begs me again; to accept you back at this house because his unconditional love to you! Now you hear what I’m saying. So say it, you want me to treat you like a father you are, when whatever you do are totally not worth father title?” Surprise could be seen on his face when I mention his affairs. Did he thought that I’m still a kid who so obvious about his surrounding?

                I don’t need any answer from him and get up from my seat to walk back into my room, and slump hard to my bed. Just when I’m about to close my eyes, my phone start ringing and I tend to ignore it. But it keeps ringing and makes me snap the device before answering harshly to whomever on the other line.

                “What do you want? Do you know what time it is?”

                “Oppa, I’m sorry to disturb you…” Jiyool voice come through the device and makes me feel bad suddenly because the previous snap.

                “Ah, it’s fine. I’m sorry for angry at you earlier. So, what’s happen? Why you call?” I ask him, because it’s not usual for her to call me at this late hour. And I suppose she is at her dormitory, right?

               “Ahh, it’s… actually I want to ask a favor from oppa. Could you grant it?” I could hear her hesitant to words thing out.

                “Tell me first then…”

                “No~~ promise me first that you would grant it and I’ll tell you…” She’s already sixteen and still whining like six years old. Isn’t it amazing?

                “Okay, fine… What it is?” I give up on her request, like I usually do.

                “Promise?”

                “I swear I’ll do it… Now, tell me…”

                “Oppa, could you take me to Seoul Cemetery this night? It’s almost midnight and Kibum’s death anniversary. I like to go to the cemetery to visit him. Please, oppa…” Her words are like a lightning struck to me. My tongue looses its ability as my brain work hard to remember the date. How could I forget? It’s almost one year from that accident. Accident...? How naive all those people to judge the situation as an accident.

                “Oppa...? You’re there...?” Jiyoolie voice brings me back from those horrible memories.

                “Yes. I’ll send you there. In fact, I’ll accompany you to visit him. But I want to ask you one question. Why you still want to visit him? He broke up with you in a bad way, and here you are still want to go to his grave.”

                “Oppa, I know this is ridiculous, but I still love him even though he actually didn’t love me back and just use me. It’s funny to hear me say this thing about love when you are the older, but even though we break up in a harsh way, he still care about me and told me honestly about his preference. I... I’m the one who told him to being friend with me. But he refused kindly and said something about don’t want to give me any hope.”

                “Aish... You know I’m older but still give me some speech. Fine... I’ll call you when I arrive there.” After saying our goodbyes, finally I ended the call and stare blankly at the white ceiling.

                Accident...? What a naive... There will never be an accident if he is so honest like Jiyool said...

It's almost ended and here I am, still don't know which one I should pair with Su or how this would end... ;p

I hope all of you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed wrote this...

I do expect some comments to cheer me up for a bit^^