****                                                                                                                                                                         06/20th/2012

Dear Secret Love:

It's incredible how fast time has gone by, it's already a year since the very first time i dared to write you a letter; I can remember perfectly that day.

That day you talked to me for the first time, it's kind of stupid because you just said hi and bowed while you where passing by but it was just enough to discontrol my heartbeat....after that you just have talked to me a few times and you uncontiously have said the same words and bowed over and over again.

I've never told you this but...just to let you know, i've never expected you to read any of my letters, maybe you just throw this piece of paper with the trash every time you get it, if you really get it, by the way...do you remember the first letter i sent you? it was pretty funny and awkward at the same time, once i sent the letter i wanted to get it back, i really regreted doing it but then i made up my mind, it was not just a letter to make my feelings go out...it was more about making you smile if you were feeling down, it was about making you feel loved whenever you need it, by the way, why am i writing in past when it stills being the purpose of  my letters!? yeah i know i'm a little too much crazy, right? but i don't care because when i write you is the only moment when i'm able to smile and feel happy.

Guess what?!, I still can't find my father...it is so awkward to say that word, maybe because i'm not used to say it. You know...sometimes i wonder how would it feel to have a father, i bet yours is a good one and that's why you're a hardworking man, i guess your father and your mother raised you well, they must be so proud of you.

You might be wondering why i want to find my father, honestly i actually don't have a plan, but i just want to see his face and somehow make him pay for leaving me and my sick mom, for not being there when we needed him the most. Well, i better stop talking about that man or i'll ruin this letter with my harsh feelings.

Sometimes when i'm writing i look up to the sky on those lonely nights and i wonder how it feels to live, i mean, have friends, that kind of friends that love hanging out with you but also are always there when you need them, i also wonder about how would it be to have a family, something you want to protect with your own life....in cases like these i would like you to answer me, because i'm sure you know how it feels to live, but it doesn't matter which my fate is because i know that i will still loving you even when you have no  idea of who i am...

PS: i hope to see you tomorrow, i'm so excited!

                                                                                                           Sincerely yours, Your Secret Lover.****

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Kikwang's POV:

I took a deep breath after reading that last phrase ''Is there a secret lover? Does she really exist? Or is it just a fan trying to call my attention?''

I couldn't handle the doubt anymore so you decided to talk to the other members of the band, I handn't talked about this with anyone yet but i needed somebody to take all the doubt out of my mind. I went downstairs and found Yoseob, Hyunseung, Junhyun and Dongwoon watching tv in the living room, then i went to the kitchen where Doojoon was making dinner.

''Hyung, do you need help?'' I asked, then Doojoon turned so see my face and said ''Yes, could you cut the veggies for me please?'' Without answering I stood beside him and started to cut the vegetables and after a silent moment i decided to break the ice.

''Hyun, umm...there's something i have to tell you''  i said in a low voice. ''For real?'' he said looking at me interested ''Since you stepped in this kitchen i've noticed you in a weird mood, so i guess it has to do with what you want to talk about, right?'' He said.

''Is just that i've been reciving letters from a girl'' I said.

''Nice, is she a fan?'' He asked while he poured the vegetables i had cut in the pasta and then mixed it all.

''No, well...I don't know atually...but i've been receiving those letters for about a year and she doesn't even write her name nor address'' 

He looked at me with a *For real?* face but automatically his espression softened ''But she has to write something, how does she sign then?''

I sighed and then said ''She signs as Your Secret Lover'' i was blushing ''But i'm telling you this because i want to know if there's  a girl in love with me or if it's just a fan, i thought that maybe you could help me with it''

''If you show me the letters i could help you to figure it out'' he said without looking at me.

''Well, i will show them to you after dinner but you have to promise me that you won't tell the guys about this''

He smiled and said ''I promise'' and in that moment the kitchen's door opened and the rest of the members went inside laughing out loud.

''Hyung has a Secret Lover!!'' Dongwoon yelled while the other guys couldn't stop laughing at it.

''What's her name?'' Hyunseung asked.

''This is unbelievable!! why the hell can't i have a private conversation in this house!?'' I said while my hands became fists and then i went out to the back yard.

I sat in the grass and started to think...this is not funny anymore, first it was normal for me, there were always girls trying to flirt with me, but this girl was just different, she wasn't trying to flirt with me...i felt it more like she was lonely and she took this ''love'' like a shelter to express herself. After a few minutes i went back inside and the guys were all sitting on their chairs waiting for me to eat, i took a sit and said ''I'm sorry guys...for my reaction...i'm just kind of stressed with this situation''.

''it's okay, it wasn't our intention to make you mad, we didn't know this was so serious'' Hyunseung said.

''Yes it is, that's why i wanted to talk with hyun about it, but now that you also know it, i hope you to help me to put all my thoughts in order''

''Tells us more about it and about her'' Doojoon said.

''Well, as you heard, i've been receiving the letters for about a year, the letters used to arrive one per month but then she started to send letters more often...she writes about her life, it hasn't been easy for her...his father abandoned her and her mother died when she was just 4, now she wants to take vengeance of her father, she thinks he is guilty of her mother's death..and she..she also says that the only thing that will keep her alive after the vengeance will be the love she feels towards me''  i said while i was crossing my fingers through my hair.

''I think it wouldn't be correct to read the letters, it's her life what is written there and it is something really personal but i can tell you that these are not things that a girl trying to flirt or conquer you would say, in my opinion somehow this girl fell in love with you and she seems to be closer to you than what we could imagine''  Doojoon hyun said while he was standing up to take his plate to the kitchen.

''Hyung is right, and i know this will be a weird question but...do you like her?'' Junhyun asked looking straight at my eyes.

In that moment i felt their eyes over me, and then i said ''No, i mean, you guys know me very well...i don't know this girl, how am i suppossed to like her if i don't know her'' i felt sweat running though my neck, i don't know why but i was not sure of my answer''.

''Of course you have to know something about her personality...she has been writing you for an entire year!!'' Yoseob said.

''She loves you, she also seems to know you and you probably know her too...end of the story'' Dongwoon said as he stood up an then said ''By the way, Yoseob it's your turn to do the dishes'' Yoseob made a face of frustration but he took all the plates to the kitchen an did the dishes without complaining.

That night i went early to bed, thinking about that girl, what would be she doing at this time? will she send another letter tomorrow? will i see her without realizing? i thought about all these things when suddenly my cell phone rang, it was Hyuna.

''Hey pretty, do you have plans for tomorrow night?'' i said when i picked up the phone.

''Hey oppa!'' she chuckled and then said ''what a coinsidence, i was calling you to ask you if you were free''

''Sure pretty, you know i'm always free for you'' i answered ''Do you want to go to take a drink?''

''Yeah oppa! that would be great!'' I could feel the excitement through her voice.

''Will i see you tomorrow at the company?'' she suddenly asked.

''Yes, tomorow i have to be there in the morning''

''So...see you around then!, i better let you sleep so you can wake up early'' she said and then we said our goodbyes and hung up.

I spent the rest of the night thinking about what the guys said...i should know her very well because she talks to me about her life and her likes everything, so, they were right I know her, I do...I chuckled and said ''I know a stranger, what an irony'' and minutes after I fell asleep.