Trains

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Trains

Jongkey

“I think about scrawling “I miss you” all over subway walls and trains I know you often take.

But I imagine you’d look right past time, as anyone would, never knowing they were

Written for you.

Even though my words are.

(They always are)”

Trains.

Kibum hates the train because it’s filled with pee on the edge of the door. He hates it because when it’s crowded, he has to stand and it feels icky, especially when their elbows hit him on the side of his stomach. He dislikes it when theres garbage on the floor.

Today, however, is a special day because the boy is there. He stares at the boy that he’s loved since the day he saw him. Kibum remembers everything they use to do, used to talk about. The boy, Jonghyun, was covering his eyes with his hat, listening to music. Kibum almost calls out his name until he realizes he can’t. He shouldn’t.

The train stops and Jonghyun leaves.

Kibum sees him again, the next day. He’s sitting on a chair, staring at nothing, waiting for the train to come. Kibum takes a deep breath and tells himself that there’s no turning back. He’s walking closer to him and stops. The train came and Jonghyun gets in.

The day after that, Kibum doesn’t see him. He’s relieved, but not really. Kibum wishes to speak to him again, he misses the feeling of their friendship, the feeling of his hugs, he misses everything.

“I miss you,” he writes on the subway wall, hiding in a corner where no one could see. “Speak to me, please.”

He gets on his train and writes on the seat Jonghyun usually takes, “Look at me for once, I miss you.”

Kibum sighs and shuts his eyes in frustration.

“He’s never going to notice,” he thinks and throws the marker on the way out.

The following week, Kibum finally sees him, his heart was beating erratically, hoping that Jonghyun will see it. They’re sitting on the seats they normally sit.

His heart breaks when Jonghyun ignores it, knowing their friendship would never go back to the way it used to be