"You said you'd tell me something right?" I asked Minji as she brushed her teeth. "Back in the car. You remember?" 

"What?" Minji said, through a mouthful of toothpaste foam. 

"Remember when Chaerinnie was looking out the window, and I tried to talk to her? You motioned not to, and that you would tell me why later." 

 

Minji paused and looked down before pulling her toothbrush from . She held up a finger for me to wait, and then rinsed. The white foam disappeared down the drain and she wiped her plump lips warily. 

 

"Sit down," she said, quietly. "And we have to be quiet, too, because Chaerin is still very, very stressed." She leaned against the marble tiled wall, crossing her legs gingerly and I followed, dropping against the cabinet. Her dark hair framed her smooth jaw as she talked. "Back when Dara broke her leg on stage, she was carried back to the waiting room. Chaerin stayed behind to find me and bring me back." Minji sighed. "But they didn't take her immediately out of the waiting room because at that time they didn't exactly know what happened to her. They thought she just fell. Remember, they were watching from a monitor so they couldn't see how her leg got twisted around." 

 

I nodded, with a wince. Minji continued. "But she was hurt, and hurt bad. The only reason she didn't cry was because she was so shocked. I guess Jiyoung noticed that quickly, but the President didn't. YG was angry, because this was our comeback performance and that we failed this one meant a lot." Something about the way her eyes were dropped to the floor told me that Minji was sore. Not exactly mad at Dara or anyone in particular--Minji was too good for something like that--but she had wanted this performance to go well to show her family. "And then Jiyoung stepped in..."

 

"Yes?" 

 

"Jiyoung... defended Dara. In a strange way. I guess it was a strange way to confess, but he told YG that if he made Dara quit, Jiyoung would quit with her because... well... it's kind of obvious, seeing how he looks at Dara. And that was what me and Chaerin came back to--Jiyoung, defending Dara as if she was his lover. Chaerin snapped." 

 

"Mwo?" I asked, incredulously. 

 

"She screamed at him--Jiyoung--that she was fed up, that she had been stressing out and worrying about him for nothing, so much that it hurt, and she had told him how she felt about him. She said that she couldn't understand why he didn't care and that he was a baram, a player. Chaerin was stressed out from being overworked, her heart hurt and you could tell she was jealous." 

 

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. "So that's why..."

 

"Why what?" Minji asked, her eyebrows knitting in curiosity.

 

"That was why she was blew up in the car when I told her that Dara would be okay." I shook my head. "No, not by telling her that Dara would be okay. Just mentioning Dara." 

 

We sat there quietly. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Hey guys--" Chaerin called from the other side, and we both tensed. "Minji, you have to go out for a excercise session. Bom, you get to stay home." 

 

Minji sighed and got up. "Have a nice time at home," she said, sorely. 

 

"Umnh." 

 

Minji called back to Chaerin. "Coming, unni--" She bolted through the door, brushing her short pixie cut frantically. I heard her footsteps fade, and I followed. "Chaerin, uri jigeum gaja! Let's go now!" Minji called again, pulling on a pair of shoes. "Wait, these are Bom's--" she mumbled, and kicked them off. 

 

"Hey, be careful with those!" I said, picking up my shoes with a small chuckle. 

 

"Arasseo..." 

 

Chaerin swept past me. Her makeup was done well and she looked regular, except for the dark circles under her eyes. "I made breakfast for you, don't eat too much," she said, pulling on a light windbreaker and hoisting her tote. 

 

"Alright," I said, rolling my eyes. 

 

"Annyeong!" Minji and Chaerin said, and when the door closed behind them I sighed and turned back to the kitchen.

 

"Oooh, what did she make?" I wondered, sniffing the air. I hurried into through the kitchen and towards the white table, but recoiled in disappointment. "Rice... and kim... with dubu on the side..." I sighed. "That's it..." I sat down and sulkily took a piece of dubu. Dunking it in soy sauce, I huffed, and stared at it. "Chaerin didn't have time to make breakfast, so I have to eat dubu... we had corn in the refridgerator though..." I sighed, and took a bite. It was soft and fell apart between my teeth quickly. I let a smile float over my lips. 

 

And then it was there again, an overwhelming, throbbing mess of pain and jealousy searing and ripping in me. I froze and stopped chewing, but the subdued, dull pain didn't stop until I spit it out into a napkin. 

 

I frowned in confusion. "That's the same feeling as last night," I murmured. "When I ate the noodles..." I shrugged. "You're being silly." I shook my head from side to side. "It's okay." But the nagging feeling of discomfort didn't go away. Twice it had happened, but I didn't know what it meant. I shrugged and took another pale square of dubu (***A/N: Korean for tofu***) and ate it. Once again, the feelings returned, and I gagged. 

 

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered, frantically. "Why do I feel like this?" I stood, throwing the chair back with a screech of wood on marble. Hurrying away from the kitchen, I threw myself onto the couch. "I don't have anything to be sad about, no one to be jealous about, nothing to feel angry because! But yet... I feel so stressed, so tired, so heartsick and so envious."

 

My eyes widened, and Minji's voice echoed in my head distantly.  

 

"Chaerin was stressed out from being overworked, her heart hurt and you could tell she was jealous."

 

"But what does this mean?" I wailed, softly, hugging a cushion to my chest and rubbing my face into the soft fabric. "It can't mean anything." I straightened. "I'm just tired and stressed out. Maybe those are my feelings." I felt a smile break over my face in relief. "They're not Chaerin's feelings, they're mine." I said, softly. Maybe they were, it was just I was too foolish to realize. My smile grew bigger. "I'm stressed... because I can't eat as much as I want to..." I snapped my fingers. "I can't eat corn! And my heart hurts because we failed our comeback! And... I'm jealous because..." My mind raced, but I was as blank as a sheet of paper.

 

I stood and threw my pillow across the room. "Who am I kidding?" I wailed. "These aren't my feelings... they're Chaerin's!" 

 

I stood and ran to the kitchen and threw open the refrigerator door. "But how am I feeling them? I get them when I eat... Should I stop eating?" I stopped rummaging through the refrigator. "But you'll starve," I said, numbly, stating the obvious. "Then... I'll try eating different things." I pulled out a container of fish stew and without even microwaving it, I dipped my spoon in. I hastily shoved it into my mouth. Instead of the overwhelming pain, I felt surge of ballooning hope. I froze in confusion. "What?" I gasped. I then pulled out a container of cooked but refrigerated ramen. It was probably something Dara saved from several days ago, but I didn't care. I shovelled a roll of noodles in my mouth, and then groaned as guilt weighed down on my stomach, as well as a strange, secret satisfaction. Growling, I took another glass container, and found it full of leftover galbi, which brought back again the searing jealousy. The rice had the same jealousy, but the cucumber soup had yet again that hope.

 

I piled the food into groups, mindlessly trying each. Guilt-bringing food went into one pile and hope went into another. The jealousy was piled on the kitchen table. At last, there was nothing but a glass container of corn. "The trainer said not to eat corn," I said, suddenly feeling wistful. I looked around, and opened the top cautiously. The ripe, plump, buttery yellow kernels were so enticing, and I took a taste. A small one. 

 

"Hmm, this one... There's nothing." 

 

I put it back, and then realized something. 

 

"I made that. I made the corn." 

 

I looked back and slammed the refrigerator. We had kimchibokumbap for a treat two nights ago. Next to that was the fish stew, and the cucumber stew. All of which had brought me hope. "Minji made those. She made all of that," I said, softly, and then looked at the pile to its left. The container of old ramen noodles was still open, and the only one who ate ramen regularly out of us was Dara. Next to it was a box of leftover cookies that she had made for the President last week. Both of them had brought guilt. "And Dara had made those."

 

I looked at the mountain of food and remembered each wave of angst it had brought. "Chaerin made all that. And..." I opened the refrigerator to look at the lone container of corn. "I made this." 

 

I threw everything back to the refrigerator. "And what does this mean?" 

 

It means you should cook more, a voice that sounded a little like Chaerin's said, snidely.

 

I felt like a big idiot that was missing out on something, and I sat and thought. I decided to recount everything I knew. "The problem is... that when I eat things, I feel emotions. The feelings change according to who made what. Dara's gave me guilt, Minji's gave me hope, and Chaerin's gave me angst." My eyes widened slowly. "Chaerin is feeling angst, jealousy, and pain... and when I ate her food, it gave me angst, jealousy and pain. So... I'm feeling what they feel." 

 

I got up and rushed to the door. "I have to go to YG." 

 

----------------------------------------------------

 

I burst into the recording room, and 5 heads snapped up. "Annyeonghaseyo," I said, quickly.

 

"Bom-nuna, what are you doing here?" Seungri asked from the couch at one side of the room, riffling through a magazine absentmindedly. 

 

"Oh..." I looked around. "Have you seen Seunghyun-ah anywhere?" 

 

"TOP?" Kush asked, from the computer. "Oh... he's actually in the recording booth right now."

 

"Then... Taeyang-ah, are you finished recording?" 

 

Taeyang nodded quietly. "Why?" he asked, voice soft, as always. 

 

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked, breathlessly. 

 

"Ah... what type of favor?" 

 

I needed someone, anyone to make me something to eat. To prove my theory, that I could taste people's emotions, as weird as it sounded. I noticed the door opening and Seunghyun coming out, looking tired. Once he saw me, his lips curled into a easy grin. "Yah, Bom-nuna," he called. "Wae yogie isseo? (Why are you here?)" 

 

Taeyang wouldn't work--he was too shy and if I asked him how he felt, I knew that he wouldn't answer completely honestly. I turned to Seunghyun. "Are you finished with your recording?"

 

He raised his eyebrows. "Well, yes, but--"

 

"Do you have anything to do after this?" I asked, trying not to sound too desperate. 

 

His smile grew. "I can make time." His dark brown eyes locked on me.

 

I latched onto his wrist. "Okay then. Let's go somewhere." He followed silently, walking down a flight of stairs with me in silence until he cleared his throat. 

 

"Why are we going somewhere?" his deep voice said, looking at me with a small smirk. I felt myself drown in his deep brown eyes until I realized my purpose. 

 

"Can you make me something to eat?" I asked, quietly. 

 

"What?" He gawked. 

 

"I'm just kind of hungry and... I wanted someone to make something for me." I winced inside, knowing that I was just using him, but part of me wanted this.

 

Seunghyun studied my face, his eyes softening and then he smiled, gently. "You're unbelievable," he said, softly, and then pulled me down to keep going to the ground level. "Are you sure that you want me to cook something, not just buy something?" He looked at me quickly, and then his gaze dropped to the ground. His smile turned bashful, something relatively unusual for someone known for being so distanced and charismatic. "I'll try to cook, but..."

 

"I would like it if you cooked for me," I said quietly.

 

His smile deepened. "You would?"

 

"I would."

 

"Then I'll try." 

 

 

 

I watched him pour coffee for me and tea for himself at the YG complimentary cafe. "Sorry I couldn't make you anything," he said, awkwardly, staring into his cup and absently mixing tea with a plastic spoon. 

 

"The coffee is good enough," I said, softly. Seunghyun looked up, eyes narrowed in a childish grin. "I just wanted to talk, that's all." 

 

"Well then... what did you want to talk about?" He brought the cup to his lips, and the planes of his throat rippled mesmerizingly as he swallowed. The clink of the cup brought me back to reality. Seunghyun noticed that I was staring and chuckled softly.His expression suddenly became warm with something I couldn't lay a finger on. 

 

"How do you feel?" I asked. 

 

"Good," he answered. "Maybe a little too good for YG to be happy with me." 

 

"But what... what exactly do you feel? Like at this moment?" 

 

"What do you mean?" he asked. 

 

"Well..." I blushed, and scartched my neck embarrassedly. "Well..." I thought. "I'm stressed that we messed up on our comeback stage." I remembered him hugging me in the darkness and hoped that my blush didn't deepen that much. "I'm anticipating the next Inkigayo so we can prove ourselves. And... I'm glad I found someone to make something for me."

 

Seunghyun studied me. "You really are an alien," he said, shaking his head. 

 

"Seunghyun--" I protested. 

 

"I feel worried for Sandara-ssi and for 2NE1 because of the Inkigayo incident. I'm glad that Bigbang is working harder than ever. And I'm happy that Park Bom asked me out for coffee," he said, one handsome eyebrow raising with a devious albeit content smile. 

 

"How happy?" I muttered, under my breath and he laughed. 

 

"Very happy."

 

I let out an embarrassed chuckle, and ran through what he had said in my mind. Worry and happiness, remember that. I raised the coffee to my lips and took a sip. 

 

The warm, bitter liquid was thick and milky, with a touch of chocolate at edges. But the taste began to fade away as I felt a rush of new emotions. Something warm, like syrup, filled me up to my toes and swelled smoothly in my heart, making it beat faster, making my lids flutter with content. A fierce blush opened up over my cheeks and a low, contented sound bubbled in my throat.

 

Seunghyun watched, his head tilted to one side and a contented, almost adoring smile graced his lips. "Bom-nuna, I didn't know you liked coffee so much."

 

"I like your coffee," I said, the words spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them. Bom, you usually don't say those things...  a voice said at the back of my head, but with my current mentality of happiness--or rather, Seunghyun's mentality of happiness--I had, I couldn't help myself. 

 

"I like you." 

 

The warm feeling faded away and I tensed. "Mwo?" I asked, tilting my head to see if I heard right.

 

"Never mind." He looked away. "I was joking."

 

"Seunghyun-ssi..." I remembered the wash of feelings that had made me feel so good. "You're a liar. You aren't worried at all right now."

 

"How did you know?" he said, eyebrows raising. His eyes widened. "Oh, wait--"

 

"It's okay."

 

Seunghyun laughed lightly, taking another sip of tea. "Actually, I did lie. I'm not really glad that Bigbang is working hard again or worried about Sandara Park just right now." His eyes found mine, and a lazy, soft smile played around his lips. "I'm just happy to be with you."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

 

 

 

Hey guys! 

I'm sorry about what's been happening with my chapters so far--my computer is going in and out which makes updates come out in weird ways. I had to delete the last two chapters and write them again... (+__+) I also changed the first chapter to add on more.,,