Zhou Mi sniffed, trying to keep from making some sort of horrible noise as he swallowed back tears. There was no point to them-they weren’t going to make it better, and they weren’t going to bring Kyuhyun back. Super Junior had ended, for good, and with that, their relationship was terminated. Null and void. Please renew your contract, sir.

Except Kyuhyun didn’t want to renew their ‘contract’. He wanted to leave what they had and find someone else. And that someone else would be a beautiful girl, probably, who wasn’t tall and gawky like Zhou Mi, and wouldn’t have an awkward nose, like he did. Kyuhyun had called him beautiful; the smile, when he said it, hadn’t been snarky or cruel. It had been a simple statement of fact as if he really believed it, and after a long day in the studio, it was something he needed to hear.

He would miss the little things most. Kyuhyun and Super Junior had given him a purpose, and now that was gone, he didn’t have much to look forward to. He’d go home to Beijing, he supposed-maybe become an MC again. Or he could stay on with SM as a composer. He did have options. They just weren’t what he wanted. He understood why Super Junior, and therefore SJ-M were over. Everyone was going into the army, getting older and wanting to settle down.

Heechul-hyung had found someone while in the army, and Shindong had been waiting forever for Nari. It was only fair. But he couldn’t deny that some part of him had wanted Super Junior to go on forever so he could carry on his relationship with Kyuhyun. They had both known it couldn’t last, but the stolen kisses and illicit-hotel room were worth it. So worth it.

Falling in love with him hadn’t been the plan, but Zhou Mi honestly didn’t mind. If he were to fall in love with anyone, Kyuhyun seemed the best choice. He was sarcastic, sweet and occasionally utterly oblivious, but he was Kyuhyun and that was what made him so attractive. And now he would be gone, once Zhou Mi packed his bags and left this desolate dorm. He didn’t want to go. It was his last tie to Kyuhyun, and once he went, there would be nothing.

The most they would have would be texts and the infrequent meet-ups everyone had planned. There would be no more promotions, no more shared schedules and appearances on Taiwanese reality shows. Kyuhyun had joked that he’d be safe from all his anti-fans now; they had nothing to hate him for. But he knew Kyuhyun was wrong. They would still hate him, and now he had lost the warm embrace of Kyuhyun’s arms to shield him from the cruel, undeserved words.

Maybe Kyuhyun hadn’t loved him that much. That didn’t make it easier, as he placed a cardigan in his case and stared around his almost empty room. He could smell one of Yesung’s cigarettes as he smoked on the balcony, and he sighed. Not that he liked the smell of smoke, but he would miss it, simply because it was a reminder of all the members and the home he had created here. If he still used his Weibo, he would have uploaded a picture of the room, along with some sad emoticons, in the hope that a sweet fan message would make it better.

But it wouldn’t, because he didn’t go on it anymore, and no one could give him advice about this Kyuhyun thing. It was what it was, and now it was done, and he was left with some nice memories and a goodbye kiss on the cheek in a café. Ryeowook had pressed him to tell Kyuhyun he really did love him, but there was no point. Kyuhyun didn’t want baggage-it was time for him to go out into the real world and leave Zhou Mi.

He had an exciting chance to be a solo singer now, and to keep KRY going. Zhou Mi wasn’t part of all that, and he could disappear from Kyuhyun’s life easily.  He’d find something to do.