A note - this one's fairly personal.

It was weird when Kyuhyun’s daughter asked him what kind of man he liked. He took a minute to answer, finishing washing the glass he held in his hand with the cloth. “What kind of man I like, sweetheart?”

She nodded, her eyes, so like his, staring back. She pressed her lips together, a legacy from her mother, as she waited for his answer. “I’m just curious, daddy.”

Well, what to say? He wasn’t sure if he could admit that the first image that had come to his mind had been that of a large nose and huge smile with a pair of gangling limbs, and a whispered ‘Kui Xian’…

His daughter, bless her, would not understand the depth of his feelings for that man, not at her age. Although she might be fourteen and mature for her age, he could not put into words how it had affected him. He also didn’t want to make her think that her mother had been a mistake. He might have realised he was truly gay, a few years too late into the marriage, but for what it was worth, he had loved Yoona. She was a wonderful woman, and although they might fight all the time, she was still the only person to ever get underneath his skin.

Apart from Zhou Mi, of course.

But what to tell his little girl? She was watching him expectantly, and he set the glass down on the sideboard. “Hmm. I guess I like them…tall? Taller than me.” He turned away, hiding a bittersweet smile.

She gave a laugh. It was surprisingly musical, and held hints of his own sardonic chuckle. That made him feel strangely proud. “But dad…practically no one is taller than you.”

He gave a laugh of his own. “Don’t be silly. There are plenty of people taller than me. You’ll be taller than me soon!” He leant over the counter to ruffle her long hair.

She rolled her eyes. “Dad, don’t be an idiot. I’m done growing, I think.” She grinned, flashing her slightly crooked teeth behind braces. “Anyway. That can’t be all you like.” She pressed, clicking play on yet another song on her laptop.

The low sound of a baritone male voice filled the room and she smiled. He didn’t recognise the voice. He rarely did, what with his daughters music tastes being different to his own, and slightly obscure. Well, to him, anyway. Yoona assured him that she knew most of the bands their daughter talked about.

He let out a chuckle. “No, it isn’t. I suppose I like a nice smile and someone…slim?”

“You’re so shallow.” His daughter sighed dramatically. “Honestly, why want someone thi-”

“I’m shallow?” He interrupted, raising an eyebrow. “Then what about your little obsession with that actor who’s always half-?” She blushed, deliberately angling her laptop away from him.

“But he’s gorgeous.” She protested, and then narrowed her eyes.

He raised an eyebrow again. “To you, my dear.” It was an old argument, one that had started when her thing for the actor in the drama that had been a big hit a couple of years ago began. He couldn’t remember the name of the drama, or the name of the actor, but he knew the man’s face (and abs) by heart, because he was plastered over almost everything his daughter owned.

She would have continued the argument further, he could see, if he hadn’t carried on. “Besides, I didn’t mean anorexic or anything…” No, his Mimi had never been anorexic, despite his ridiculous skinniness. He had been…beautiful. Always bright and happy, and a wonderful singing voice, quite different from the man singing in the background right now.

“Good. “ She told him, sounding so like her mother for a second, he thought that Yoona had come back. “But I agree with you about the smile thing, daddy.” Her own smile flashed back at him, and as always, he found fatherly pride in his pretty little girl flowing fondly through him.

“Oh, so it’s not just abs you like, then?” She glared as he snickered.

“I am not going to dignify that with a response, father dearest.” God, she really was like her mother sometimes. Although Yoona would say she was being like him when her snarky side showed up.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He hid his smile, trying to look repentant, as she peered up at him to check for real remorse. She was obviously satisfied because she nodded. “Why did you want to know?” He asked, wondering if someone had commented about Zhou Mi to her. He didn’t think they would, but you really never knew, and he wasn’t quite ready to talk about Zhou Mi with her. Not yet.

“I don’t know…” She shrugged. “It’s just I know mum seems to like guys similar to me, so I wanted to know if you did.” She was so…cute sometimes, he thought. It was such a typical answer from his daughter.

“Well, now you know, honey.” He said, picking up another glass to wash. He wondered if she would ask any more questions. Not that he would mind answering them, it would just be a bit of a strange weekend with her if he was consumed by thoughts of Zhou Mi. And he liked his weekends with his daughter; she was well behaved, and as long as he remembered to feed her and take her out on Saturdays or something, she didn’t mind it when he disappeared to is study to do work or have a client over for a vocal lesson, as he sometimes did.

Actually, she liked it when the clients came, because they usually thought she was sweet and she found that flattering. Her singing voice was good, too, and sometimes she would sing along with whatever he was trying to teach his student. Although he told her off for it, and ostensibly found it annoying, really, he found it endearing. And if he was honest, it reminded him of Zhou Mi in a strange way, because he had always been singing, too.

He didn’t think about Zhou Mi all the time, and much less than he used to. Fifteen years ago, all he could think about was Zhou Mi. And then Yoona had made him think about her as he pushed the idea that he might be gay to the back of his mind. When Yunhee had arrived, any grief that still lingered had had to be pushed to one side as he tried to be a father. After she had turned four, he’d realised he couldn’t lie to himself anymore, and had left the perfect little family he had created with the loss of Zhou Mi.

If only it had been so easy, because he had caused so much pain and suffering when he told Yoona he didn’t love her like that, and had taken away the stable family that Yunhee had grown up in for the first few years of her life. He was more settled now, more accepting of what he truly was, but it wasn’t perfect.

He shook his head, trying to stop thinking so morosely. “What do you want to order?” He asked Yunhee. He had never learnt to cook without ruining the food, so he’d just given up. He suspected that half the reason Yunhee liked it at his house was because he only ever ordered in food and let her eat what she wanted (within reason, of course. He wasn’t that bad at looking after his child).