I closed my laptop after I had finished talking with Derek. He was still in Canada teaching some dancing classes and going to some T.V shows. Both of us were so anxious about the release of the movie since we finished the recording, and we couldn’t wait for it to be in the cinemas.

I smiled remembering our funny conversation and as I put my laptop aside and I wondered how we could become friends so fast…I know that we had spend a lot of time together for the shooting but I knew since the beginning we would get along.

Normally things were like that with everyone since I tried to work happily with each person, but there is always a special case. Like the one with some special guy that even with his heart of gold made the first meeting so awkward.

I smiled again, but this time sadly, because I knew things weren’t like they used to be and I wondered if one day they could be like before.

I wanted us to talk just like I had done with Derek, without worries.

I stood up from my chair and walked to the balcony. It was late but I was glad that the next day I didn’t have a tight schedule.

I saw a group of friends walking on the streets laughing and pushing each other playfully. The smiles on their faces were so familiar and at the same time so distant.

In my group of friends there had been a moment when all those smiles seemed to fade and we were only recovering from all of it now…

And that made me think of my trainee days.

I was young, training for doing what I liked the most and still free to walk through the streets without being chased. And there was that special place. That restaurant with the middle age lady that was always with a smile on her face and listened to me when I excitedly told her about my training routine or my anxiousness regarding my debut. I went there many times before debuting and a couple of times after that with other trainees.

In there I built a lot of friendships including the one with those five guys that amazed me with their talent behind that shyness and quietness the first time I met them. Most of all the one with big brown eyes and black hair that looked more like a character of a manga and that sometimes said things that didn’t make much sense. Or maybe it was me that didn’t understand him at that time.

And as I was lost in my thoughts I was already in my car driving to that place. I knew I shouldn’t be doing that because the neighborhood it was in wasn’t a pretty one, it was late and I wasn’t supposed to be out, but I didn’t care.

It was a night in which I wanted to enjoy the memories. The happy ones, the sad ones, because that made me feel close to all of my friends now that things have changed more than ever. And mostly to him, because I haven’t talk to him in so long and I knew it was partially my fault.

I sighed and stopped my car almost in front of the restaurant. The street was almost dark with just one lamppost on the corner and it was only the restaurant that gave life to the empty street.

My window was closed but I still covered my face with my scarf as I saw some people leaving the restaurant.

I bit my lip and sighed…how long has it been since I had been here?

I let myself observe the restaurant in silence before I saw a car pulling over the side of the restaurant. I noticed it was a luxurious car making me think of another singer or actor from the same company.

I had actually met some of the now famous actors in this place when they were just starting their careers and I wondered if I wasn’t the only melancholic this night…

I continued staring at the other car trying to remember who it belonged to or where I had seen it, but it wasn’t until another car crossed the street lightening the person hidden in the shadows that I discovered who he was.

It was that face that I would be able to recognize anywhere even now when it it was almost covered by glasses and a scarf.

I looked down feeling my heart aching.

Haven’t I wanted to meet him again?

To be able to talk and laugh?

Then why was I feeling so much pain?

I looked up again but his face was covered by the darkness of the street and I looked at the restaurant again.

The now older lady stood at the door as if knowing who were the ones inside the cars and was waiting for us to come in with her soft smile.

Her eyes met mine making me jump in surprise but before any of us did something the door of the other car opened and he walked away from it until he was in front of her.

After a short conversation that I couldn’t hear he walked inside the restaurant that now seemed free from any client except him.

I sighed and shook my head.

Was this even real?
It was too good to be true that we had finally had the opportunity to meet like this. So fast, so easily, as if nothing had happened, as if nothing had changed.

But as I fought inside my mind, the old lady approached my car.

“BoA-sshi” She said with her calm voice knocking on the window.

I let the window go down and looked at her in disbelief as she invited me to eat inside.

“If you can’t it’s ok, maybe another time?” She asked softly.

And I didn’t know what to say…I knew the invitation wasn’t only for the food. I knew that from her eyes going back and forth between me and his shadow inside the restaurant.

So after sighing I accepted her invitation smiling.

“It’s ok; I’ll be there in a minute.”

And she nodded walking inside again, but on the contrary I sat even lower in my seat putting my head on the steering wheel.

I didn’t know why I was so nervous…but I knew I was…

Was it because he was still the one that could read my mind like a book, but could trick me with his complicated one….or because I was afraid he couldn’t do that anymore and we had nothing to talk about?

I felt my heart racing as I walked to the restaurant. Only some steps seemed to be a thousand and when I stopped at the door looking at his back view I gulped.

We had been so close, so close that it seemed unreal how much we have drifted apart…

But what would be his reaction?

Will he be angry?

Will he still consider me a friend?

Was I still his friend?

Was I even a friend?
 

And I sighed again feeling my heart aching again.

What kind of friend was I that I didn’t know how much he was hurting, that was never there to listen to his problems being too busy with my own career, that was too late to console him, that couldn’t even defend him publicly, that couldn’t and even now can’t contact him after all?

And as my feet took me near him I felt more nervous than ever.

To see his disappointed gaze on me would be really painful because I had realized how selfish I had been …where had our friendship gone to? Where had I let it fly away?

 “BoA…” His melodic voice called me and I looked down where he was sitting meeting his eyes in the process.

“Jaejoong…” I said his name feeling it so distant…it has been so long since I called him by his complete name.

“Aren’t you gonna sit?” He asked as I stood there as a statue beside him.

I smiled nervously before taking the seat in front of him.

We sat in silence for what seemed like hours but I didn’t dare to look at his face.

The food arrived and we thanked the woman before being left alone again.

“It’s been a long time since I ate this…” He said and I looked at his hand holding the chopsticks and picking some food. And I bit my lip remembering how I because of his unique way of holding them…

I did the same as him before flinching at the sudden change of tone in his voice when he started talking.

“Could you look at me?!”

I had never been afraid of him, on the contrary I had always felt safe by his side, but this time I felt ashamed of myself because it was me the one causing him to use that tone.

When I gathered the courage to look up I found a different guy from the one I had met long ago.

He was still Kim Jaejoong.

The almost one year older than me.

With his still deep brown eyes.

Again with his black hair.

But this time he had that mature aura.

And I could only imagine how much he had been through on the inside…and how much I didn’t know about him now…

“Are you ok? Are they ok?” Those were the first questions he asked since I had only looked at him without saying a word.

“They are fine.” I answered smiling a bit. ‘They could be better, they have been better’ I would have liked to say but I knew what had happened between the five of them wasn’t something I could control.

He was still looking at me with that questioning face knowing I was avoiding answering about myself, and that made me smiled a bit more.

“I’m fine too…” I answered not knowing if I was in the position to ask the same…

“I read that you have finished recording your movie, it seems interesting.” He said and I nodded absentmindedly wondering how he could act so normal as if nothing had changed…like when he told me about his movie…just like in the past…

“Did you see Junsu’s cameo on Scent of Woman? He is excited to appear again…” He continued saying and I nodded again with more questions appearing in my head until the sound of his chopsticks against his plate pulled me back to reality.

“Are you even listening?” He said and I sighed feeling guilty for not listening to him again.

“I know things have changed, but…” and I couldn’t even finish listening when my tears started falling and I stood up and went to the other side to hug him.

How much had I missed him…

How much had I wanted to see him again…

“BoA” He called my name gently patting my back.

“I miss you so much…” I said almost chocking with my tears.

“I have been so selfish and I’m so sorry for that …and I have also been going crazy….it hurts so bad to avoid you, to not be able to congratulate you for everything you have achieved and all the things you have overcome….” I continued crying knowing that it wasn’t going to be easy finding another time to do this.

He continued patting my back and my head in silence until I broke the hug.

I looked at him with my teary eyes and he tilted his head to the side with a soft smile.

“Don’t cry, ok?” He said grabbing my hand.

“My little giant has to be strong.” He said but I heard how his voice cracked a bit and his eyes were a little more shinny than normal.

But even with this I smiled at him and he smiled back.

“So why are you wearing this horrible scarf?” he asked suddenly, me knowing how hard he always tried to avoid this crying moments, and I looked at where his finger was pointing.

“Yah~!” I shouted slapping his hand away. It was a scarf I had always liked but he didn’t and we had always fought about it.

And he started laughing putting his arm around my shoulder motioning me to continue eating.

For a moment I felt kind of uncomfortable with his touch, but I realized that these moments were the ones that made me believe that things would eventually get better and even when things were still a bit awkward between us we knew our friendship was beyond all the problems, we were the only ones responsible for keeping it alive and strong.

We continued eating and laughing a bit when he asked me something that put me in the spot.

“So, what drama have you been watching recently?” He said with a tinge of hope and with a bright smile.

“Well….” I started with a teasing tone “you know I have been busy…and well….Yoochun’s dr…” and I couldn’t even finish because of his hand in my mouth and his angry pout.

I started laughing in his hand but I knew it was true…I had been busy with concerts in Japan and interviews and also because I didn’t know how to watch him… how to watch them, since I haven’t watched any of their recent dramas….

And it was when his hand let go of my mouth that I looked at him in an apologetic way.

“I’m sorry Jae. As always I’m the worst friend ever…”

And I thought he was going to react like before sticking out his tongue or tickling me but he had a serious face.

“I’m sorry too. I kept so many things inside even when I knew it would have been better if I shared them with you.”
 

I heard him sigh heavily and I held his hand.

“Then do it. Tell me about you. Let’s keep our friendship. I’m not willing to let it waver like before.” I said almost angrily because I knew it was my fault and I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again, because it was this person in front of me the one who consoled me in my worst moments and I had promised to do the same in the past; however, I didn’t fulfill it back then.

“I know it’s gonna be hard but as long as we can be there for each other everything will be better. In the past it wasn’t like we were always in the same place, even in the same country and we could still rely on each other….we can do the same again, right? Right?” I asked with a hopeful look and even if his smile didn’t show he was completely convinced I saw that spark in his eyes.

“Let’s give it a try…maybe next time I could bring the guys…” He said and I knew that even when his tone didn’t sound as excited as I felt, I knew that for him it was a new beginning. In fact our friendship was beginning again, and just like when we met for the first time he hid his emotions until he felt secure again.

But as we continued talking he started opening up again. And we didn’t stop in what seemed like hours, or maybe they actually were, since the old lady had fallen asleep on one of the couches at the back of the restaurant. And we decided to leave thanking her for everything, knowing she wasn’t going to tell anyone about this.

Then we decided to part. But before I could reach my car he hugged me with a smile on his face, and I smiled back knowing this wasn’t going to be the last one.

“Bye Little Giant” He said softly pulling my scarf to the side and smirking.

“Bye Jaejoongie” I replied fixing my scarf and sticking out my tongue.

We smiled at each other before waving goodbye.

And I entered my car still not really believing this had been true, but I knew that this encounter had given me a new perspective.

I wasn’t going to stop fighting for our friendship. I was going to listen and be there for him in everything because only those actions would make our smiles be back in our faces, because in every challenge only real friendship could help us and heal our broken hearts.

~~~~~~~~~

(A/N)

Hi! It’s been a while, no? I hope all of you are still there and hopefully you will comment XD….Thanks for the comments for the last one shot btw! :)

*madz67: Thanks for the comment :) I finally found time to update….and well, I hope you liked the last one shot even if it was sad, and also hope you like this one. 

*meeeyi: Thanks for the comment! I know we already talked about your comment, which I appreciated a lot. I hope this one shot did cover a lot of emotions that correspond to the situation hehe….XD

*linita-chan: Thanks for the comment! :) I’m glad you loved the previous one shot….and I’m glad you found it sweet even if it was sad. And I do have to thank you for commenting…comments are inspiring for an author, and thanks for saying that, but I know that there are better writers than me, I just like to write….and I love Bojoong kisses too! Lucky BoA! Hehe…..yeah, we shall read and write fanfics until this couple is publicly announced hehe…Thanks for the comment again!