Kyungsoo arrived home at 4pm as he finished his singing practice. He was about to informed his arrival as he opened the door, but the bickering voice came from his hyung inside startled him. He stopped midway, looking back and forth between his hyung and Baekhyun hyung.

“Why are you going accept him back, Baekhyun?”

“He’s my boyfriend, not you Chanyeol!”

“But he left you, damn it!”

“No, he didn’t!”

“Are there really no more space for me in your heart Baekhyun-ah?” There was a hint of sadness in his tone. “I always hold onto you but you kept running away from me.”

“I didn’t even ask you chase me all this while, to hold me, to lead me everywhere you wanted to, to touch me as you like. You even declared me as yours as you like.”

Kyungsoo stared at those two with wide eyes, why are they bickering? He itched to ask but he knew better to be silent for now and tried to understand the situation.

 “So you never love me?” Chanyeol asked while tears rolled down to his cheek.

“I… don’t…” know. Baekhyun ends his word with whisper causing Chanyeol to just hear his I don’t.

 “Fine, if it’s like that. I won’t hold onto you anymore.”

“You should have said that earlier.” It obvious to Kyungsoo that Baekhyun tried to look calm. He looks up to Chanyeol for the last time and bowed as a thank you then bid a good bye to both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol left to his room as Baekhyun turns to walk out of the door, out of his life. Dropping his bag, Kyungsoo chased for Baekhyun to seek for explanation. Baekhyun look calm compared to his hyung who’s drown in tears.

“Why are you doing this to Chanyeol hyung, Baekhyun hyung?”

 “You heard it right? He breaks off with me.”

“But it’s you the one who said that you don’t love him.”

“Yes, I don’t.”

“No, it can’t be! Baekhyun hyung, you love Chanyeol hyung. If not, you won’t--”

“I’m sorry.”

He then left Kyungsoo stunned alone at the roadside, thinking what goes wrong and who’s at fault, before he decided to return home. He startled for second time today as he enter the house. A loud ‘thung’ was heard, came from upstairs. He hurriedly goes upstairs just to be stopped by locked room.

 “Chanyeol hyung, are you okay? Open this door, hey!” He kept banging the door continuously.

“I’m fine, Kyungsoo-ah.” He heard Chanyeol whispered weakly.

It’s been a week that since Baekhyun left and the house has been awfully quiet. Usually, Chanyeol and Baekhyun will be on their nth attempt to annoy Kyungsoo or they will be loudly laughing at the sofa while watching some gag movie. Or Chanyeol will be receiving his nth knock on the head by Baekhyun because of his cheesy words. But now Kyungsoo missed those because he could no longer throw a pillow or wrestling them because kept annoyed and disturb him studying his major. While Chanyeol looks like a walking dead because eyes beg under his eyes. Kyungsoo understand how precious Baekhyun were to his hyung, but right now his felt useless because he can do nothing.

He recalls a scene he saw today while going home. Baekhyun was in other guy arms which was his first love. He then knew that that guy caused Baekhyun to left his hyung. He had the urge to punch them till coma but he held on because he didn’t want to end up prisoner because of being stupid. He was no match to them even.

He punches the remote button, trying to looking for something interesting when Chanyeol joins him on the sofa.

“What are you doing?”

“Hyung!!! Finally you talked to me.”

“Kyungsoo, I am not a mute okay.”

“Aw… hyung can even crack a joke!”

“Since when I become a joker?”

“Hyung, don’t do that expressionless face in front of me. It’s not suit you.”

“Yes, I am like this. Cold, stupid, bastard, failure---”

“No, no, no okay!  You’re my hyung and you’re perfect, well after me of course.” Kyungsoo giggles before awkwardly hugged Chanyeol, and then he heard Chanyeol burst into laughs.

“Didn’t you felt awkward hugging me?” Chanyeol asked breaking the hugs.

“Quite, the last I hugged you was when we’re kid. Look all that I do for you. ”

“Now treat me dinner because I’m hungry.”

“Sure thing, hyung! I’ve only been eating ramen for these weeks.”

Baekhyun glance at Kris beside him whose enjoying his ice cream. It’s been a week, he thought but his head creep up to where he heart was and clutches it, but why was it hurts?

“Baekhyun, say ah.” He startled from the thought and withdraws his hand.

“Ah it’s so cold, cold!” Baekhyun jumps while rubbing his cheek trying to ease the coldness in his mouth. “You feed me too much, Kris!” he slapped Kris’ arm teasingly. They were laughing when Baekhyun gaze suddenly landed on two people walking towards them. His breaths hitched as he realized it was Chanyeol and his brother laughing. Are you happy without me now, Chanyeol?

Startled by the thought and having Chanyeol to look directly towards him caused Baekhyun to drop his ice cream cup. Their gaze locked for a few seconds before Chanyeol finally turns and runs away. He felt like chasing Chanyeol, as his moves two steps ahead, Kris’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“What’s wrong Baekhyun? Why you dropped it?”

And suddenly Kyungsoo was in front him looking furious, “Out of thousands ice cream parlor in Seoul, why you got to be here?”

“I… I didn’t mean to… I--” But Kyungsoo didn’t even give him a chance to explain and dash away.

Kyungsoo was right, why did I first place asked Kris to bring me here on this cold night?  He stare at the path where Chanyeol disappear, it was the same road they walked those nights when they went out to ate ice cream. A same route where Chanyeol pulled him closer when he know he was cold, and where Chanyeol stole a bite of his ice cream again and again till there was no more left also where Chanyeol suddenly peck his lip as they walk through one broken lamp post.

“Who’s that guy? Are you okay Baekhyun?” Kris held both of his shoulder, trying to calm the shaking Baekhyun.

Chanyeol slowed down his dash as he passed the lamp post. That lamp post still didn’t lit and it was still dark but Baekhyun wasn’t there by his side. He thought bitterly to their memories along this trail because he can’t hold onto the smaller guy anymore. Baekhyun wasn’t there to lighten this path too.

He entered his room just to be welcomed by a picture of them hanging at the wall. It was too large and there’s no way to ran from looking at it. I should just throw this. Chanyeol then punched the large frame causing it the mirror to crack but the frame didn’t budge, it stays where it was. So he kept banging and punching it till his hand bleeding. He then slumps in front of the frame, bawling.

“Hyung, what you have done?” Kyungsoo looks fanatic, he then snatch the shirt on the floor and wrap Chanyeol right knuckle.  “Stop being stupid, why are you hurting yourself?”

“It hurts Kyungsoo-ah, tell me what to do. Tell me, please.”

“But hurting yourself aren’t making things any better, he’s not coming back here to take a pity on you hyung! Please, stop hurting yourself.”

“I don’t want to lose him. I love him, Kyungsoo. I love Baekhyun.”

“I know but don’t do this. I don’t want to lose you. Hyung is the only family that I got.”

“I’m sorry Kyungsoo. Forgive hyung.”

Chanyeol finished his class early today, as he about to exit his college gate he bumped into someone. He’s about to apologize when he saw he’s bumped into Kris and not to mention, his boyfriend beside him. Chanyeol swallow back his word.

“Watch where you’re going!” he growled instead.

“I’m sorry okay?” Kris said.

“Are you blind or what?”

 “My bad, I already said sorry right?”

“Next time, look where you’re going. Don’t just keep lovey dovey with your boyfriend right there.”

“Hey, he doesn’t have to do anything with this.”

“So it’s my fault? While you the one who kept looking at him not where you walked to.”

“Watch out your mouth. What the wrong with you?”

“It’s mine so I can say anything with it.”

“Let’s go Kris.” suddenly Baekhyun said. Chanyeol was never like this.

“Oh look here, your so-called-boyfriend needs you now.”

“What the that you want dude?”

Out of sudden, Chanyeol grabbed Kris’ collar causing Baekhyun to astonish of his action. He didn’t realize it but he then pushed Chanyeol away from Kris causing him to stumble backward. Ah, Chanyeol yelped as his hand met the floor as he breaks a fall.

“That’s enough, Chanyeol!” Baekhyun raised his voice at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol look up into Baekhyun and tears escaped his eyes because of Baekhyun’s action and damn it, his hand was hurting again.

As Chanyeol leave them, Baekhyun heaves a sigh. He was stun by his own action because he didn’t mean to push him. He just wants to stop Chanyeol from doing something stupid. That wasn’t the Chanyeol he knew. The tears, what’s that meant?  Baekhyun left Kris to chase Chanyeol; he didn’t want Chanyeol to hate him. He was about to catch Chanyeol when Kyungsoo approach the taller. He saw the worried look on Kyungsoo’s face and he holds Chanyeol’s hand.  Wave guilt washed him as he realized that Chanyeol’s hand was bleeding. I’m sorry, I’ve hurt you again, Chanyeol.

Baekhyun just let them walked away because he didn’t want to hurt Chanyeol anymore and he didn’t want Kyungsoo mad at him again. Then Kris approaches his side.

“You know them?”

But he wasn’t bothered to reply, his head just full of Chanyeol. What he’s done towards him. He looked up to Kris and stares his face for a while then suddenly a question came out to his mind. “Did I still in love with you, Kris?”

Baekhyun went home feeling numb, he didn’t know what to think anymore. He missed Chanyeol, so much and he missed staying over their house. Teasing Kyungsoo, watching midnight movie with tasteless popcorn Kyungsoo make, fighting over place on the sofa with Chanyeol which he will end up on Chanyeol’s lap most of the time. He took out his phone, looking through their pictures together and his tears fall. I don’t know why I pushed you away, Chanyeol. I had never been happy with Kris as I am with you. I don’t understand why did my heart so hard to admit that I love you.

He didn’t know why he kept denied his love towards Chanyeol, he kept ignoring Chanyeol’s confessions because he thought Kris still love him and will come back to get him. It was Thursday night when Kris left him alone at the park after sudden breaking up with him. He was in crying mess when a guy gave him a tissue and a bar of chocolate.  I saw you crying for quite long. No, I wasn’t staring… just… uh, and this is all I have. Some saying that chocolate makes people happy. He was just a stranger that time but Chanyeol stays with him till he finally stopped crying.

Chanyeol never gave up confessing his love towards Baekhyun because he’s sure Baekhyun will said yes, one day. His hands always led him where ever they walk because he didn’t want to lose Baekhyun. Chanyeol was full of affection, happiness, fluffiness, skin ship and cheesy words that he’ll never get tired and want to explore and have that bit of Chanyeol everyday to makes his life whole better.  

Baekhyun stares at the picture of Chanyeol smiling widely. He’s been aching to see that smile again. Chanyeol’s smile was a lot more better then a ray of rainbow.

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol want to avoid Baekhyun at any possible but it seems that fate was against him because he met Baekhyun at the corridor of his college building. His heart still aches because of yesterday when Baekhyun pushed him. He didn’t want to meet him now moreover with Kris beside him. Why did you push me away, Baekhyun? It should be me who’s beside you, not him.

He got a huge urge to push Kris away and took Baekhyun away from him. But he’s afraid that Baekhyun will just push him aside again like yesterday. Chanyeol forced himself to look away as Kris pinched Baekhyun’s cute adorable soft cheek.  He wanted to be the only one who can touch Baekhyun. With throbbing heart, he walked passed that couple but the back of his hand brushing against Baekhyun’s.

Baekhyun met with Chanyeol again the second time that day as he rushed home after his class. He almost bumped into Chanyeol as he make a turn at a corner but luckily that boy step backwards as their almost into contact. Baekhyun gaze bore into Chanyeol eyes where he clearly could see sadness inside. He wanted to hug the taller so bad but the blank face of Chanyeol stopped him. It was painfully silent as Chanyeol kept staring at Baekhyun, both not wanting to move and either waiting for each other to make a move.

“Chan—” As Baekhyun about to say something, Chanyeol decided to walk off leaving Baekhyun with his word hanging alone.

Chanyeol regretted as soon as he take off from Baekhyun. He should just take that small boy into his arm and never let go of him anymore. His heart was torn apart when Baekhyun call his name. How he miss that voice.

Kyungsoo realized that his hyung went gloomy again. He wanted to prevent Chanyeol and Baekhyun from came across with each other but it was impossible since they were studying at same college. He thought darkly, I should beat them into pulp or buried them alive. He shook his head to stop thinking for stupid idea. That would just make his hyung sadder because losing Baekhyun forever.

He’s been spying of that tall guy for a few minutes from table in front. He can’t help not to critiquing his facial expression while eating ice cream. Eating ice cream with that mad face? Is he fine? A guy as cold as ice cream, he laughs alone like a lunatic. But it’s a great chance to ambush so Kyungsoo jumped in front of Kris and settle on empty chair in front of him. Meeting Kris maybe the most stupid idea (after killing idea of course) but there was no way of running when Kris attention was all on him.

“Hey there ice cream kiddo!” Kyungsoo finally said as Kris kept staring weirdly at him. He held the urge to slap himself, bad choice of words Kyungsoo. Having to stare at Kris quite long making Kyungsoo realized that his guy quite handsome but his hyung more good looking.

“What did you say? Kiddo, I saw you’re more kid then me. ” Kris narrowed his eyes.

“Leave Baekhyun alone.” Kyungsoo blurted.

“Is this an order or what, kid?”

Kyungsoo closed his eyes, shielding himself from getting mad. “Can’t you just break up with him? He loves my hyung but out of no where you came snatch him from my hyung.”

“Chanyeol?”

“Yes, Chanyeol!”

“Here listen; I didn’t know that Baekhyun was belonging to Chanyeol. I came to explain that I didn’t mean to leave him just like that before. As for making things better, I asked him to become mine again.”

“But-

“I’m not done yet, kid. I’ll talk to Baekhyun okay?”

“But-

“Everything would be fine.”

“Stop cutting me, damn it!”

Kris laughs, “Okay, sorry.”

“I trust you for a better outcome, adios.” Kyungsoo rise from the chair. As he about to leave, Kris called him.

“Hey kid, I’m Kris. You’re?”  

He just squinted and poking his tongue to the taller before leave. “And I’m not a kid, you tower!”

Kris was about to talk to about Chanyeol with Baekhyun when suddenly the smaller burst into tears. He cried as soon as he said that he wanted to break up. Kris pulled the smaller into a hug, trying to calm him down. He knew Baekhyun well, he must be feeling sorry.

“Baekhyun, you love Chanyeol don’t you?”

Baekhyun surprise at Kris word, he look intently at the taller as if trying to seek for an answer.

“If you really love him, you should confess to him. Don’t hurt him anymore. He loves you, I can see it and I think his brother cares about you too. I’m sure he’ll forgive you because he loves you right.”

“How about you, Kris?”

“You really never changed right? Stop worrying about someone else! I’ll be fine because I know you’re with people who love you. Right now what most important to you is Chanyeol. Go get him back.”

“I love you Kris. You’re the best--”

Kris continued Baekhyun’s word. “--friend you ever had. Keep the word ‘I love you’ for Chanyeol it will be more meaningful.”

Pulling away from Kris, Baekhyun rushes towards Chanyeol house. He can’t wait to meet him and confessed that he loves him, so much. He knocked the door hard, and luckily Chanyeol was there. But a smile from Chanyeol’s lip disappeared as he saw Baekhyun standing in front of him. He wore that motionless face once again.

“Chanyeol-ah I’m sorry.” He’s about to reach for Chanyeol but the taller move backward.

“Get out from my sight, just enough all pain that you gave to me this while.”

“But... Chanyeol-ah, I wanted to--”

Without able to finish his words, Chanyeol closed the door on his face. Baekhyun kept banging the door while begging for Chanyeol to open up and let him explain. After a few minutes, he decided he’ll just confessed from outside because maybe Chanyeol will listen to him and finally open up.

“I get it you hate me but please Chanyeol, listen to me. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I kept hurting you and pushing you away from me. But I regretted it; I didn’t realize that I’m in love with you, Chanyeol. I miss you. Chanyeol-ah, I love you!”

But Chanyeol didn’t open the door or making any noise. Baekhyun kept standing outside even the snow were pouring heavily. He’s sure that Chanyeol will forgive him and take him back.

“Hey, Baekhyun hyung is it you?”

“Kyungsoo-ah…”

“What are you doing outside in a snow like this? You’re no less like a snowman now.”

“Chanyeol, he didn’t forgive me. Kyungsoo-ah, Chanyeol hates me now.”

Kyungsoo dusted all the snow over, he’s struggled between his begs and Baekhyun. And then suddenly Baekhyun slumped against him. Oh my god. Kyungsoo ran upstairs to get his hyung because Baekhyun indeed has fainted because of the cold.

“Yah Chanyeol hyung, what have you done? Come with me right now.”

“I don’t want to.”

“If you want to let your boyfriend frozen and die, then stay.”

By then, Chanyeol sprinted downstairs picking Baekhyun who’s against the door. Kyungsoo was amazed of his hyung, he’s quite strong to picked Baekhyun as if he just a feather weight.

“He’s burning hot, take wet towel.” Chanyeol said as he settled Baekhyun on the sofa.

Kyungsoo huffed, “He wouldn’t be snowman if you didn’t leave him out there.”

“Hurry up, Kyungsoo-ah!”

Baekhyun awake an hour later. He was surprise to be greeted by a handsome face of his Chanyeol along with that husky voice, he miss to listen.

 “Baekhyun, you’re awake.” He was about to apologized when Chanyeol suddenly pulled him into his arms.

“I’m sorry for leaving you out of cold outside. I was stupid.”

“No Chanyeol-ah, it’s my fault. You can punish me for hurting you so much.”

“How can I punish the person that I love? It’ll cause a whole lot more pain to me.”

“Chanyeol-ah?” Baekhyun cup Chanyeol’s face in his palm. “I love you Chanyeol, so much.”

 “I’ve been longing to hear that words from you, Baekhyun.”

“Am I forgiven now?”

"Nope, not yet. Until I do this--” Chanyeol then kissed Baekhyun full on the lip. “And I love you, too.”

Extra:

“Chanyeol-ah, if I say that Kris like Kyungsoo, what says you?”

“What? I can’t let that jerk going out with my brother.”

“He’s not a jerk if you knew him.”

“He took you from me.”

“Well, but he like Kyungsoo now. I’m sure you two will get along if you know him.”

“Okay, he had to wait till we get along then I’ll approve.”