[Flash back]

                I remember how this nightmare began. The older three had gone off somewhere and it was just us. "Hyung" I called, hearing nothing but the echoes of my voice in the halls. I hurried to the other rooms, hoping to find him. "Where are you?" I asked, expecting an answer, but of course not receiving one. I persistently looked and looked. I walked down the narrow hall and passed the guest room. I took a double take and backed up a bit. There he was spread out across the bed. I ran and jumped on him, waking him up.

“Hyung!”

“Taemin-ah” He said as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, a smile grew on his face.

“I was looking for you” I laid on my back staring at the ceiling.

“Ahh I thought I would just take a short nap and then go take a walk for a bit, get some fresh air” He got up and grabbed his jacket off the chair.

“Can I Come?”

“Ha ha sure, go bundle up, it’s cold out” He said as he walked out the room.

I went upstairs to my room to get a coat and met Minho at the front door. We stepped foot out into the cold, snow flew slowly over our heads.

“Follow me” he said as he started walking towards the woods near the frozen lake.

Walking up that hill was no joke, there was ice and snow. I quickly grabbed onto Minho’s hand so that I wouldn’t slip or fall. He looked at me with a small smile and then back at the path we were on. It was freezing but that smile warmed me up a bit inside.  He let go of my hand and started running.

“Hyung! Wait for me!”

I started running after him, dodging rocks and branches. He disappeared out of sight.

“Hyung? Where are you?” It seemed as if he liked hiding from me, it became some sort of game.

The sun was setting, it was getting dark and I needed to find Minho so that we could go back home, I was sure the others were back. Time was passing and I was getting impatient. It was so cold and I didn’t know my way back, Minho only knew this path. I stood next to the big oak tree he left me at, knocking icicles off with a stick I found on the ground. It became dark, the skies were black. I sat down at the base of the tree.

“HYUNG!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I didn’t know where he was. I couldn’t feel my toes now, and I was to frozen to try to get up and search for him. I would risk getting even more lost; at least he will know where to find me if I stayed here. I was dozing off; I rested my head on the bark of the tree that stood behind me.  “Just for a few minutes” I whispered to myself.

“Taemin!”

I opened my eyes a bit and Minho was right in front of me.

“Wake up” He said as he shook me a bit.

My face was pale and my lips were a bit chapped from the cold air. He helped me up onto my feet and put his arm around me.

“No!” I yelled, “Its freezing out here and you go and run off like this is a game?!”

“I didn’t know, I thought you were behind me this whole time” he tried to explain.

I pushed his arm away from me and started off down my own path down the hill.

“Taemin!” Come back here!” he screamed at me.

I ignored him and kept walking.

“Taemin! Don’t make me-“  

I stopped and turned around.

“Don’t make you what?” I cut him off before he could finish the sentence.

He walked down to where I was and pushed me. I stumbled back a bit.

“Hyung” I said coldly.

He pushed me again and this time I tumbled backwards down the hill. A small tree stopped me from going all the way to the bottom.

“Get up!” He yelled down to me.

I looked up, “why are you doing this?”

I didn’t get up so came and got me and dragged me back up the hill. He took me to an opening, surrounded by trees and threw me in the snow, face first. My face was red and had a few scratches. I tried to get up but he pushed me back down.  He began to unbuckle his pants.

“Hyung, what are you doing??” I said frantically, nearly out of breath.

“Just shut up!” He screamed at me.

I’ve never seen him like this. I was scared. Minho was on top of me, the start of my jeans reached my knees.

“No hyung, no don’t do this!” I tried to stop him, hitting him and kicking him. It didn’t work.

My vision became fuzzy and dark and my hearing became muffled from all the pain.  In my head all I thought of was the pain. My body became numb. I no longer felt anything; I just laid there until he was done. He finally got off of me and fixed himself.

The salty tears streamed down my face into the snow, turning it into slush. I cried to myself. He just stood there. His face was cold. He just stood there.

“The path is there, just walk straight down” he said and then disappeared.

My murmurs became louder and my soft screams became solid as they broke out into the empty atmosphere. I hit the ground with my fists a few times. The anger raged through me like electric currents. My body ached as I tried to get up. I finally stumbled to my feet, gaining my balance. I buttoned my jeans back up and tried to regain composure, it was difficult to do. I felt dizzy. I used the trees that lined the path as guides to help me walk down the hill. When I made it to the bottom of the hill I lost my footing and feel onto the gravel entry to the house.  I got back up and slowly walked towards the door, my head down. I opened the door and walked in, the light from the bright living room ceiling stung my eyes. I walked down the hall and past the kitchen. Minho sat at the table, drinking something out of a glass cup along with Onew.

“Taemin-ah!” He plastered a smile on his face.

Sick bastard

“Whats wrong Taemin?” Onew asked.

“Oh, I’m just tired, I went for a jog, I’m going to bed now” I can’t believe I lied to hyung.

I felt disgusted and dirty. I reached my bedroom and slowly curled up into a ball on my bed. I just wanted it to be all over. I closed my eyes.

[End of Flash back]