---

“We meet the people we're supposed to when the time is just right.”

---

 

He smiled warmly the moment he stepped into the bride's room.

In front of him stood a blissful bride, beaming as she looked at herself in the mirror. His eyes fell on the sophisticated gown she was wearing; an ivory dress with intricate lace details around her waist, complemented with her braided dark curls that landed flawlessly on her shoulder. She was indeed the epitome of elegance, femininity and beauty.

As soon as the bride turned around, she was met with a pair of deep hazel eyes that belonged to a dashing, gallant gentleman man who stood at the doorway silently. Almost instantly, a gentle smile formed along the contour of her lips as she called out to him.

“Kyuhyun!” She called out, gesturing him to enter.

There was a rush of mixed emotions when she saw him. Poignancy, agitation, happiness and relief were evident in her voice as she held his hands tightly. Her lower lip quivered slightly while tears brimmed in her beautiful doe-like eyes.

He came.

He came for her wedding.

“You know,” He spoke tenderly while ruffling her hair softly. “You really have to stop being such a cry-baby.”  

“Kyuhyun,” She pouted at him for messing up her hair, before tinges of worry exuded in her eyes. “Y-you-”

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine.” He assured her while a sincere smile formed on his face.

For a moment, she saw the grief in his deep dark eyes. She bit her lower lip to prevent the tthreatening tears  from spilling out of her eyes.

“Is that so?” She croaked, trying hard to suppress those tears. “I’m really glad to hear so.”  

“If he ever bullies you, you’ve to tell me right away.” He wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her into a warm embrace.

It was that familiar jasmine scent he adored.

“Thank you.” She nodded gently, hugging him back tightly.

“We’re best friends, aren’t we?” He chuckled lightly, or maybe bitterly.

And, a single tear escaped from his eye as it rolled down his cheek.

Best friend.

Goodbye, my first love.

 

---

 “Korea’s top singer, Cho Kyuhyun is said to be withdrawing from the music industry temporarily due to a mental breakdown. Though their company had denied all rumors, it was found that the talented musician is currently recuperating in a private ward, according to reliable sources in Korea. The popular idol has yet to make a comeback this year and fans are-” 

---

 

Day 001

The day Kyuhyun was admitted into a private hospital was a rainy day; dark and gloomy. His alarmed supporters cried and shed buckets of tears for him. But, he never did cry once.  

He was dazed.

Kyuhyun loved Yoona deeply but he had given her up the day he left her to pursue his long-awaited dreams in music. He sang for her but she could never hear it for she was marrying another man. He was a man who would stay by her side, a man would protect her, a man who would love her endlessly.

That was the day he heard his world crashing down. He yelled, he hurled vulgarities, he threw his dreams away, and he hurt himself. He knew he could no longer turn back the time. He knew he could longer have her back in his life.

His company had arranged for a psychiatrist to improve his condition. However, no matter how the professional coax him,  Kyuhyun refused to speak up. Throughout the treatment session, he did not utter a word for the only reaction he gave was a smile; a very weak smile.

It was noted on his report that the patient suffered from acute depression, facing severe mental stress. He’d need more time compared to other patients suffering from such depression.

When he returned to his ward, all he did was stare at the ceiling blankly. Thoughts that went through his mind were nothing but hatred; Kyuhyun did not hate her; he truly hated himself.

He could never forgive himself for the one mistake he had made in his life.

He regretted.

He regretted so much for leaving Yoona.

 

Day 002

“Kyuhyun,” The psychiatrist tried to get his attention as he stared blankly at the ivory tiles of the room. “Are you still with me?”

His forlorn gaze remained fixed on the tiles, refusing to look at his attending psychiatrist. Even when the psychiatrist walked towards him to give him a light pat, he gave no response.

He refused to follow all the instructions given.

On his report, it was noted that lack of cooperation from patient resulted in delay in recovery. There were signs of self-inflicting of pain to numb himself as well. It was concluded that patient would require more time to recover. 

 

Day 003

Ivory was the only colour he could see for the high ceiling was painted in pure white. His bed sheets were white, his blanket was white and his patient clothes were also in white.

Ivory was Yoona’s favourite colour.

He stared at the ceiling above him blankly. There was not a single expression on his face, but at that moment, he could actually feel his chest tighten. It was so suffocating that he could no longer breathe. 

He was in pain.

Unconsciously, he gripped his ivory blanket, drawing it closer to his skin. He couldn't help but to think of her again. That one girl he had given his heart to, that one girl he could never live without  was just about to disappear from his life.

He knew he had to give her his blessings, he knew he had to forget her, he knew he had to let her go. He knew he had to accept that fact that she was getting married and he wasn't the groom.

He couldn’t.

“Kyuhyun, your wound is opening up again!” One of the nurses shrilled, as she took quick steps towards him anxiously. “Let go of the blanket.”

He was in despair.

Closing his eyes, he loosened his grip and smiled at her. A fool hides its pain in his eyes, while brilliant  hides it in a smile.

His smile was nothing but a façade. 

“You’re bleeding.” The nurse looked at him with sympathy  as she bandaged his wound carefully. “It’s painful, isn’t it?”

He smiled, again.

“Your hands are precious, Kyuhyun.” The nurse patted him gently, in hope to ease his pain. “Don’t hurt yourself again.”

She murmured a prayer for him to sleep well before leaving the ward.

He told himself he was the one who made the mistake, and he told himself that he did not deserve to shed a tear. It was his fault; he blamed himself.

But as soon as the door closed, a single tear rolled down his cheeks. He looked at the white curtains that covered the dark gloomy sky outside.

If only he could turn back the time again, he would choose her. He would definitely choose her. There was no doubt to it. 

Once again, the cycle repeated itself.

 

Day 004

In his ward, Kyuhyun laid on the hospital bed lifelessly. His condition deteriorated rapidly for he refused to receive any more treatment from the psychiatrist. He refused to move and he refused to eat.

His face was pale white and judging from his cheeks, it was obvious that he had lost weight. The company and his attending psychiatrist had tried all means (from patient coax to professional medical treatment) but he refused to listen. He refused to receive treatment.

“Kyuhyun, you’ve to eat.”

He stared at the ceiling above him silently.

“Kyuhyun, you’re a celebrity. You can’t do this.”

He refused to listen.

“Why are you being so stubborn and irresponsible?”

He refused to answer.

“Kyuhyun, all of us are worried. Your supporters are waiting for you.”

Still, there was no response from him.

Nobody was able to understand the pain he was going through. Nobody bothered to understand him. He was special. They were only concerned of his status. After all, he was a celebrity.

Just a celebrity.

He chuckled.

Nobody noticed.

Yoona.

 

Day 009

That day, he thought he was hallucinating.

He blinked his eyes once, twice but in front of him stood a beautiful lady with her long chestnut-brown hair swaying lightly in the air. The familiar jasmine scent in the air reminded him of her.

His eyes widened and a train of thoughts rushed through his mind. He was agitated and confused that she’d be in his ward. His company had clearly ordered no visitors during the period of his recuperation.

How could she be here then?

The young woman who wore a white simple dress tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ears before she drew the curtains. She took a deep breath of the morning fresh air before turning her head around slowly.

The light was blinding; so blinding that Kyuhyun thought he just saw an angel from heaven.

“Yoona.” He murmured.

For the first time during his stay, he had uttered a word.

Her name.

Yoona.

“Hi,” the bewildered lady who was startled by him paused for a moment, “I’m Seohyun.”

He was disappointed.

How could she possibly  have come?

He sighed.

“Mr Cho, do you mind if I address you by your name instead?” Seohyun asked politely.

Upon getting no response, she tried to get his attention.

“Mr Cho?”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes. Her soothing voice had reminded him of Yoona, again. He could imagine Yoona standing in front of him right now, as she called out his name gently.

“Kyuhyun?” She waved her hands in front of him.

That voice.

He looked at her.

“Yoona.” He spoke, again.

“I’m-”

Before she could explain, Kyuhyun held her tightly, just like a lost child hugging his mother. He embraced her, feeling the familiar warmth he had longed for. He wanted her to know how much he loved her. He wanted her to know how much he didn’t want her to get married. He wanted-

“You’re mistaken.” She patted her gently.

As he released her from his embrace, he avoided her gaze awkwardly.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

However, her next action had totally caught him off-guard. He was completely surprised. She had pulled him into a warm embrace before patting his back gently.

It was an unfamiliar yet comforting warmth. 

“You-”

“It must have been hard on you.” Seohyun continued to pat his back gently.

Like a baby, he clung onto her.

“Everything will be all right.” She reassured him.

And for the first time, he broke down.

He cried.

Finally. 

 

Day 014

Im Choding Deer Yoona Alligator Yoong Im Yoona

Im Yoona

Yoona, I love you.

 

Seohyun remembered catching a glimpse of the piece of paper that had been blown to the ground, unintentionally. He had been scribbling on it throughout the whole afternoon that day. No matter how curious she was, she did not ask him for she knew it would bother him. She respected him.

Yoona.

That name was awfully familiar though she was certain she had not met her before. That was then did she recall being mistaken for her when she first met Kyuhyun in his ward.

She was filled with sympathy as she gazed at the patient whose chest moved up and down, matching the rhythm of his breathing. It had been several weeks since Seohyun volunteered at the hospital and it was the first time he was peacefully sound asleep.

She sighed, almost silently, as she pulled the blanket closer to Kyuhyun lightly.

She scribbled something on the same piece of paper she had picked up, before putting into his hands cautiously. She was afraid she would wake him up.

Don't forget to love yourself, Kyuhyun.

 

Day 016

Seohyun began to paste colourful post-it notes all over his ward to brighten up his day. She thought a depressed and gloomy patient shouldn’t be staying in an empty and dull ward. Though Kyuhyun did not express anything as usual,  at least he didn’t protest and Seohyun was glad that he accepted the change.

“It’s your dream to be a musician.”

Even though she had received no reply, Seohyun continued the conversation unwaveringly even if it seemed as though she was speaking to a emotionless wall.

“You love singing, don’t you?”

She stopped talking.

For she saw the answer in his eyes; those dark and forlorn eyes.

“Kyuhyun,” she continued.

He turned to the other side of the bed as he covered himself with the blanket, refusing to face her. Maybe it was because she was too persistent. Maybe it was because her face reminded him so much of Yoona. Maybe it was because-

“Nobody will be able to help you except yourself.”

Yoona.

 

Day 017

‘If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it was never meant to be.’

He remembered picking up the piece of post-it that was flown to the ground by the wind. He read it once, twice and began to truly understand the deep meaning behind those words.

That day, he picked up a blank piece of paper and started sketching on it.

Seohyun smiled.

She knew he wasn’t going to hide from the world anymore. She knew he wasn’t going to escape from reality anymore. She knew he wasn’t going to suffer alone anymore.

She knew he had decided to take the first step out.

She could truly see the hope in his eyes.

 

---

 

“You look like someone I know.” He began.

“Really?” She tilted her head skeptically.

“Yes. You resembled her a lot.” He continued earnestly.

“This sounds like a cliché pick-up line, you know?”

“…”

And he smiled too.

She made him smile.

 

Day 022

It had been more than a week since Kyuhyun had attended his last session with the psychiatrist. Unlike the past when he’d only nod and smile, he could answer his questions honestly now.

“How are you feeling today?” His attending psychiatrist asked politely.

“Good,” He answered politely, “The cooling weather is nice.”

“Yes, it’s going to rain soon.” The psychiatrist smiled pleasantly at him.

“Rain?” He scoffed and remained silent throughout the rest of the session.

On his report, it was written that his condition was fluctuating though there were positive signs of recovery. It was also noted that Kyuhyun had a certain disinclination towards ‘rain’.

 

Day 026

“I love you.”

He was dumbfounded as he stared at Seohyun who was slicing the apples nonchalantly.

“Is that what you’ve been wanting to hear from her?” She continued.

He shook his head and smiled. Seohyun was the kind of girl that he could never grasp her thoughts. For a moment, he thought it was a confession from her.

But he shook it off, thinking that it was impossible.

“I regretted not telling her that. Even today, I regretted not telling her that.” He gazed solemnly at the beautiful sunset outside his window. 

“Nothing’s too late, Kyuhyun.” She shifted her gaze to the same scenery Kyuhyun’s eyes were fixed to.

“The sunset is beautiful.”

“One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you, loving someone else.” She whispered gently as she held one of the post-it note she had written for him.

Kyuhyun nodded, though he had kept silent throughout.

Seohyun agreed too.

 

Day 029

“I heard you major in fine arts.” The psychiatrist asked. “Are you good in sketching?”

“I specialize in performing arts actually,” Kyuhyun replied, “But sketching has always been one of my hobbies since young. I’ve sketched a few during my stay here too.”

“That’s amazing. Why don’t you show me some of your sketches someday?” He prompted.

 

---

 

Kyuhyun looked intensely at the psychiatrist who was viewing the pieces of sketches he made during his stay. From the first piece till the last piece in his sketched, they were all portraits of a woman. The beautiful woman had long dark hair with a willowy silhouette.

“Kyuhyun, what make you sketch these portraits?” The psychiatrist asked.

“I’ve barely nothing to do here, so …” He shrugged.

“Is the woman related to you?”

He shook his head lightly.

As the psychiatrist flipped through his sketched, a smile dawned on his face. The last sketch was of a woman, with clearly different features. Kyuhyun had finally found something –or someone that was worth living for.

On his report, it was stated that the sketches (though fuzzy) had reflected his mood, his condition and most importantly, his progress of recovery. He was recovering well. He found his hope.

 

Day 034

Seohyun brought a pink guitar to his ward unexpectedly. 

How long had it been since he threw away his music, his career, his passion, and his life?

As she played the melody on her guitar, he recognized the notes of the song. He realized it was the first ever song he had written when he first pursued his music. With a stable and graceful voice, Seohyun began to sing along. 

His eyes brimmed in tears as he listened to the song that he had written to convey his longing for Yoona while he left her in Korea a few years back.

It was then did Kyuhyun begin to wake up from the dream; the nightmare he thought he had always been in. He shouldn’t have agonized over Yoona’s marriage. Instead, he should have felt happy for her to find her lifelong partner.

As Seohyun finished the song and strummed the last note, a tear fell from his eye as he uttered the only two words he could find.

“Thank you.” He croaked, tears staining his cheeks.

Yoona was his past.

Only memories from yesterday.

Then, he saw a small post-it note handwritten and pasted by Seohyun from the corner of his eyes.

Unexpectedly, he clapped his hands and smiled sincerely at her.

Cherish yesterday.

Live today.

Dream tomorrow.

 

Day 042

There was a change.

Kyuhyun began to sketch with colors; very bright colors. On his sketch, the sky was painted mainly with blue, orange, pink and red.

“A sunset?” The psychiatrist looked at him inquisitively.  

He nodded.

“You like the sunset?” He asked again.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

He smiled, gripping the same post-it note Seohyun had held the other time. When the session ended, he pasted the same post-it note onto his sketch.

One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you, loving someone else.

 

Day 049

“Seohyun,” Kyuhyun called out abruptly.

“Yes?” 

“You'll never find the right person if you don't let go of the wrong one.” He hinted at her. 

“That's true. You've become philosophical now.” She remarked.

“I-I have something to s-say-” He stammered helplessly as he looked down at his sweaty palms. 

“What's wrong with you?” She asked with concern.

“I've a gift for you to thank you for helping me all this time.” He presented a beautiful sketch that was well-framed to her. It was a sketch of Seohyun and he proudly proclaimed it to be his best artwork.

Of course, she wouldn't know. After all, it was a secret between the psychiatrist and him.

“This is for me?” She gasped in surprise as she marveled at the spectacular sketch.

He lost count of the number of days he took to make the sketch. He did not remember the amount of effort he had put in to sketch her portrait over and over again before he was finally satified with the outcome. He forgot the number of sketches he threw away before sketching the final one which he deemed perfect. He couldn't believe the amount of courage he needed to pluck up before giving her the sktech.

It was all worth it.

The smile on her face was just enough for him.

 

Day 057

“I can be discharged tomorrow?”

Kyuhyun raised his eyebrow sceptically as he looked at his attending psychiatrist with doubts.

“Yes, Kyuhyun.” He assured him kindly.  

“I see.”

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he felt the butterflies that formed at the pit of his stomach. He attributed his anxiety to his return to the world stage and Yoona’s visit. 

However, as soon as he returned to the ward and was met with the beaming smile of Seohyun, he knew he was awfully wrong.

The fluttering butterflies in his stomach was because of Seohyun.

 

---

 

“You’re leaving? Why? Where?” He bombarded her with various questions as he received the news from her.

“Yes, Kyuhyun. Aren’t you aware that I’m a college student? Of course, I’m pursuing my studies to become a future all-rounded psychologist. And besides, I’m just a volunteer here.” She replied nonchalantly. “And you’ve already recovered.”

“But I…” He stuttered helplessly as he couldn’t find the right words to complete his sentence.

“What?” She tilted his head as she could not make up his gibberish words.

Unlike Yoona’s twinkling doe-like eyes, Seohyun had a pair of crystal-clear eyes that always stared back at him unwaveringly. Unlike Yoona’s unladylike alligator laughter,  Seohyun’s lips would only curl up slightly to form a gentle smile.  Unlike Yoona’s beautiful slender fingers, Seohyun’s fingers had rough calluses from playing the guitar. He loved her for who she was and not because she resembled Yoona.

He was just three words away.

It was now or never.

He bit his lips and plucked up all of his courage before opening his mouth again.

“But, you’re already an outstanding psychologist.”

 

---

 

The guests in the room hushed as the beautiful bride finally entered.

Walking down the aisle was Yoona who was grabbing onto her father’s arm tightly, and standing in front of the priest was the groom who smiled affectionately at them, waiting for her father to hand over his daughter’s hands to him.

“I’m handing over my daughter to you, Donghae.” His voice trembled slightly as he gave her hands to the groom. “Please take good care of her.”

“I will.” He assured him as he held her hands; holding on to them dearly as if they were his life.

Yoona smiled at him beautifully; very beautifully.

The well-matched couple, who stood in front of the priest, smiled as they waited to exchange the sacred marriage vows. Kyuhyun smiled for he was glad that Yoona had found a good man; the right man.

“Lee Donghae, do you take Im Yoona for your lawful wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?”

 “I do.”

“Im Yoona, do you take Lee Donghae for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”  

As the bride and groom exchanged their sacred marriage vows, Kyuhyun moved his hand over and gently placed it above those hands that lay beside him.

Seohyun, I love you.

He recalled how she for being such a silly boy for crying while pleading her to stay during her departure at the airport. He was extremely embarrassed when the young woman calmly answered him that she was only going for an overseas exchange programme for a week.

 

“I love you too, Kyuhyun.”