"Oppaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," a loud screech rings through the hallways of SM Academy, cutting sharply through the obnoxious screaming and hushed gossips of the school's typical highschool students. Everyone turns their heads towards the source of the ear-shattering screech, which, unsurprisingly, is a snooty looking glammed up doll in her mini skirt and 4 inch heels. 

With her s jiggling like jello in a trampoline, she throws herself at her so called oppa from behind. Cakes of eyeshadows falls off her face and smears a glittery green on 'oppa''s leather jacket.

Said oppa is tall and blonde from behind, and upon turning to see his intruder, handsome and beautiful from the front. Looking bewildered and confused, he twists his torso and tries to pry the unyielding octopus off. (In reality, she's actually more of cat, one with long nails that scratches long and painful at his milky skin.) The girl actually seems to have hugged him tighter for a while before finally letting go.

"Oh hi.... Tiff... Jess...," he clears his throat and simply coughs, obviously racking his brain of any clues of who might the overly made-up Barbie doll is.

Her laugh is just as annoying as her voice, but her name just might be able to compete with that. "Krystal" just smiles and flips her hair behind her shoulder, dropping a Juicy pink purse and jumping up to hug the tall man. "I have something to shoooow you!!!"

"Oh really," he says as he stands still, arms awkward and open as he lets her hang from his neck, "exciting." He plucks off a strand of her unnatural blonde hair from his jacket, excitement dripping form his words like sap from a tree. Poisonous sap. Poisonous yet cautious sap.

For a second time, she screeched and grins at him. Glitter might as well flow out form her excited nostrils as she undoes her belt and tugs her mini skirt off, showing a pair of blue and green boxers underneath. "Ta-dah! You forgot your underwear last night! Found it this morning and thought I'd wear it to show that I'm only yours. Look," she brandishes out her nails, fanning her fingers in front on his face, "I even painted my nails the same color and..." she leans in on her tiptoes and removes her sunglasses to reveal, what do you know, blue and green contact lenses. One color for each eye.

Oppa just stood there, not even fazed by all the extreme actions and blinked. He looked around. "That's wonderful, Katy, uh.." he clears his throat. "Would someone mind helping this... uh.... erm," and pointed to the girl's entire body, "this...?" A few bystanders hurried to take her away but he barely waits for an answer before turning around and giving his friends a shrug. 

"Wow Kris, that chick has got to top the Weirdos list," a thin but well built, dark-skinned teen mutters as he pats his friend on the back.

"Yeah, I think this... Krystal, her name is by the way, tops even Ms. Pre-sssaaaaaay," another teen with light brown hair and excited eyes emphasizes the last syllable, imitating the cheerleading president's nasal voice. "This chick's way crazy, man. Actually, pretty much all your s are," he says, jabbing a finger at Kris's chest. 

"Crazy ones are the best in bed, my man" Kris chuckled, putting his books in his locker. He was about to slam the locker door shut when a distinct laughter enters his ears. A chuckle high and golden rings in the hallways and he pushes his giant self behind the locker door, hiding in vain as the source of the laughter comes closer.

His friends Kai and Chanyeol grins at each other. They don't even have to look.

"You know Kris, for someone who just got attacked by a psychopath of a and leave with but a blink of an eye, you sure are a sissy when it comes to him," Kai utters, a bit louder than normal speaking tone and Kris flings his large foot at Kai's leg, hoping to shut him the hell up. Unfortunately, a passing teenager tripped on his leg and fell, splaying papers and books all over the floor. Typical scene from a typical teen movie.

The laughter stopped and was replaced by a cry of worried "Oh no!" Then follows hurried footsteps and before Kris can blink, his crush is crouched at his feet, helping the poor victim pick up his papers. Said crush looks up at him and he jerks in surprise, accidentally hitting his head on the metal edge of the locker door. 

Pain. Ow.

Gasp. Ow.

Crap.

There's two of him now.

Blurry.

Blurry.

And almost in the comedic way that a mosquito drops after being hit by a flyswatter, Kris drops on the floor, brow and foot twitching before he falls into unconsciousness.

"Dude."

"Dude."

"Dude, wake up."

"Dude."

"C'mon dude."

"Why you-" 

"Kai, calm the down. Here let me try."

"Kris."

"Kris."

"Kris."

"Kris?"

"You got Krystal pregnant."

...

"You got Ms. Song pregnant?"

...

"Uh... you got me pregn-"

"CHANYEOL WHAT THE ."

"WELL WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY"

"YOU HAVE NO VAGI- oof!" The two arguing friends stop as they were both hit by a pillow.

"Shut up you two..." Kris mutters, voice doused with sleep. Chanyeol's trademark smile was the first thing he sees as he cracked his lids open and in the far distance he hears Kai call for their maid.

"Broooo! You've been out for 3 days! Got us all worried sick!" Chanyeol energetically sits himself on the bed, making it bounce and poor Kris's headache worse. Too bad he's too tired to hit the crap out of the guy, so he glares instead in hopes that his groggy state doesn't affect intimidation powers.

Apparently it does, because Chanyeol continues to ramble on about school and all the stuff he's missed. Something about how Ms. Pressa- oh god not that name, calls every 15 minutes to check up on him and how there's a project due, and how oh haha Luhan's being sold or something and how...

Wait, what?

Kris jolts upwards at the mention of his name, "Luhan's doing what?"

"Chanyeol, you idiot," Kai interrupts and turns to Kris, "he's not being sold. There's going to be an auction to fund this year's Cinema Festival. Luhan's apparently being auctioned in exchange for like dates or something." He walks towards a nearby chair where his backpack sits and pulls out a flyer, "in exchange for seven dates. Wow."

Kris swears he could hear his heart beating wildly. Here's his chance to score on his baby and finally get him to go on a date with him. Six years he's been hiding behind locker doors and garbage cans and love letters and flower bouquets and nothing has prevailed.  "I only need three and he'll be shouting my name in bed," a slow grin creeps up his face and color is back on what was once a deathly pale face.

"No. No. No. No. NO," a panicking teen chants, standing up from his chair and rushing towards the stage where his bestfriend stands with a clipboard and a smug grin, "you will not do this to me Baekhyun. Absolutely not. No."

"Don't worry, honey bun bun and glitter poo, Lay's got it all under control," the boy says, scratching his greasy hair with a pen, "in fact, why don't you go harass him instead?" 

As if on cue, a wide-eyed teenager bursts through the auditorium doors, all the shining glory of the sunlight behind him announcing the arrival of the diva. "I'm baaaaack my lovelies!!!" he hollers, "Oh Baekhyun honey, that banner is  bit crooked and that- oomf!"

Luhan jumps on his bestfriend and tackles him to the floor, "Lay. Lay. Lay. LAY. PLEASE tell me this isn't happening."

Lay rubs his head and stares back at the teary-eyed boy in front of him. "This isn't happening," he says stoically, "now get off of me."

"You idiot, you don't even know what I'm talking about don't you?" Luhan pouts and presses his body harder on Lay. He even makes an effort to rub his cheek against Lay's hair just because he knows it'll piss him off even more. A sweet revenge small steps at a time.

"Nope, no idea and ack- LUHAN!" Lay shoves said boy off his body and in an instant, pins him on the floor by sitting on his trashing torso. He immediately pulls out a mirror and checks his hair, pouting when he sees that his perfectly styled poof is now flat and limpy. "What was that for?!" he flicks Luhan on the forehead, successfully stopping him from trashing.

"For teaming up with that monster," he shrieks and points an accusing finger at the grinning Baekhyun, "and setting me up for the auction!!!"

Lay's face brightens up and he jumps, clapping his hands together. "Oh yes! Luhan, you'll be the grand star of tonight! The biggest, shiniest trophy that'll have everyone competing for!" The excited boy spreads his arms wide, eyes twinkling and dimples showing as he smiles enthusiastically at the pouting boy.

"And there's absolutely no doubt that Kris will show up and sweep you off your feet with his huge stacks of money!" Baekhyun high fives Lay and they both look down on the pouting, teary-eyed Luhan still lying helplessly on the ground.

"Oh look at our helpless baby," Lay coos but then regains himself and nudges at Luhan with his foot, "but there's no turning back so get up and help us with the preparations!"

Luhan fiddles with his fingers as he sits legs together and shoulders straight on the stage. Lay's loud voice echoes through the auditorium, hollering numbers and calling people as they bid higher and higher and higher. The current offer is a talented girl from the sophomore class. Long hair and long legs, an envy of everyone. Luhan doesn't remember seeing her around but Baekhyun had whispered that she didn't usually dress up, being in the Martial Arts Club and all. 

"20 thousand dollars for our lovely Victoria Song!! Congratulations Mr. Horvejkul!" The audience applauds and the lucky gentleman stood up to timidly his lady down the stage.

"Would you look at that, Lay, a wonderful sight. A match made in heaven? Inform us after seven dates!" Jinki says as he waves the couple farewell.

Lay laughs and clears his throat, "now ladies and gentlemen! The moment you've all been waiting for! Our last offer for the night! Now, now calm down, it's his first time so please welcome Luhan!" Luhan stands up as the spotlight shines on his seat. He walks towards the front just as they practiced. Spine straight and with a little jump at every step, he follows Baekhyun's reminders in his head. He smiles at the applauding (and some whistling) audience and was in the middle of raising a gentle hand to wave when suddenly the doors directly in front bursts open. In comes was a huffing tall figure bent over. Kris.

"Wait! I offer 50 thousand dollars for Luhan!" The audience gasped, that's the highest offer anyone ever bidded for the night and the bidding on Luhan hasn't even started.

Luhan's looks over at Lay with wide eyes, pleading him to not let this happen. Not him please, don't let this happen, his doe-eyes says, frantic and looking everywhere but the slowly approaching Kris. His clothes are disheveled, his hair even more so. Lips red and pants ped, Kris looks like he just came back from a ual adventure, which undoubtedly he did.

"60 thousand dollars!" another person raises his number. 

"65 thousand dollars!" Kris counters. His voice is calmer than the other, determined to not let this opportunity pass.

"Ohohoho! As expected, we're getting golden offers on our most valuable item! Remember ladies and gentlemen, seven dates with this baby-faced honey!" Lay winks at his bestfriend and ignores the scarlet color creeping up his face. He continues the bidding and upon reaching a hundred thousand, the battle seems to have narrowed down to only Kris and number 36, a gentleman known as Sehun. "Current offer is 100 thousands dollars. Going once...," he raises his hand, "going twice..."

"150 thousand dollars," Kris shouts and Sehun sits with a defeated huff. The audience and even Lay stares wide-eyed at him.

Nothing is heard but a faint "SOLD!" from Jinki and the next thing Luhan knows, a warm breath ghosts over his neck. "Can't wait to have your writhing under me, babe."

Yeah so my chapters are pretty long.

Thoughts? Comments? I'll be camping this weekend but hopefully  I get enough

encouragement to post the next chapter once I come back ^^