(Listen to 고백합니다 by FT Island : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va-6vT9gCqw)

His arms were folded and his one leg was propped up behind him. Upon seeing me walk out, he pushed himself off the wall and slipped his hands inside his pockets.

“I’m guessing my sister blabbered out everything.”

Not knowing what else to do, I mutely nodded. Both of us remained in silence and using the time I had, I studied his face. Jae Hyo was good looking, but would an admirer ever face his recipient of affection with so much of coldness? Of course, he was over me. It was like stating the obvious. But I remembered his face upon seeing Woohyun and me together and Da Hae’s words echoed in my mind.

“I’m glad you and Jae Hyo met. The boy can finally get some closure.”

“Follow me,” he said and I nodded. He wanted to talk and he deserved to have me listen to him. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. I was too absorbed with my craziness and he obviously didn’t want to be seen with me. One last talk, nothing else.

Jae Hyo led me to the kitchen and I wondered if he had missed the ‘STAFF ONLY’ sign. Realizing that his father owned the club, I followed him down the stairs, that wound right back up. He opened a steel door and the cool air of the night froze my senses.

“It’s cold,” I murmured, hoping that for once, I could contribute to small talk. Jae Hyo looked at me with such raw amusement, I decided to be myself for this moment. He wants me to listen, I told myself and mentally zipped my lips.

“Take this.” I looked at him and bowed, slowly taking the jacket in my arms. I let it hang across my shoulders, only to have him read my mind.

“It’s not just a hello and goodbye. I recommend you make yourself comfortable.”

I obeyed and hurriedly slipped my arms through the woollen sleeves, tightening the pashmina shawl I was wearing around my neck. I gave him a small smile and nodded for him to continue.

“I’m not over you.”

The deep breath I had taken in to prepare myself turned itself against me. I coughed and once done with the fit, bit my lip in embarrassment.

“I know,” he said with a small smile on his lips. “You probably think I’m coming on too strong but for once, I want to cut to the chase. I spent three years admiring you from afar, with nothing but a note and a small gift as a token of my feelings.”

I noticed how he said ‘feelings’ rather than its oft-used equivalent. The four-lettered word would have thrown me into a maze and I felt eased knowing that that wasn’t his intention. But my mind went back to the word gift and forgetting the promise I made to myself, I asked, “Gift?”

Jae Hyo glanced at me. His smile disappeared but it didn’t turn into a frown. He pursed his lips and looked up at the starless sky of the city, staring at the darkness. Suddenly, he started singing the Three Bears nursery rhyme.

I spun around and blinked at him as his gaze shifted from the sky to the ground and as he sang out the last line, his eyes fell on me. The coldness from before had literally been wiped out as he softly smiled.
“Remember now?”

Of course. The teddy bear.  The only gift I had ever appreciated from the bottom of my heart. The only thing that spoke a thousand words without moving from its place.

“It was you,” I whispered.

“Do you know?” he continued, almost as if he wanted to humour my shocked expression. “The first time I saw you was at the Chuseok celebration of 1997?”

“That’s a long time back,” I murmured. Jae Hyo’s smile didn’t falter as he continued, “Really? For me, it’s just like yesterday. The first time I saw you, when you took over the microphone from JiHyun and decided to sing the Three Bears nursery rhyme.

“It’s not like I knew your name back then nor did I develop feelings for you. But years later, when I saw you posting the notice for the choir, I could feel something click into place. I tried to be invisible, hoping not to be noticed by you. It was only later did I realize that you yourself were hardly interested in the spotlight. I read your name and asked my mother if she knew you. She was bloody well overjoyed. She told me of how your mother and Hoya’s mother had saved her life once. It’s a different thing that she isn’t with us anymore.”

“Sorry,” I murmured and Jae Hyo shrugged. “What happened to her?”

“Virus encephalytus. She could have suffered from a simple memory loss. Instead she slipped into a coma and never returned. A part of me feels that was the less painful path for her.

“But tonight’s not about me. As a matter of fact, it’s all about you.”

“Me?” I pointed to myself. “I thought you wanted closure…” I slapped my hand on my mouth and immediately looked ahead.Why was I acting like such an idiot in front of this guy?

Jae Hyo looked down at his shoes, his mouth half open. “Closure…No, nothing like that. I guess my feelings haven’t run their course yet. They wouldn’t any sooner, that’s for sure. When I saw you with that man… I did feel a bit…”

Jealous, I thought to myself. What else? Maybe he’d take the polite path and say ‘happy for you’.

“…protective.” I looked up at him, but he continued staring at the ground. “Surprised, right? Even I am. It’s not like I was striving to keep my feelings alive. But when I heard of you residing in Seoul permanently, I only wished for your happiness. That was three years back. Today, when I saw you with that man, feelings rushed back the way adrenaline rushes through an adventurer’s veins. I was used to the feeling but everytime I felt it, it never failed to defeat me. Today, I was conquered.”

Jae Hyo steadily moved towards me, maintaining his distance. “Look at me.” I turned to face him and raised my chin. His big brown eyes didn’t hypnotize me, I’m not that easy. But I also didn’t let myself make any judgements. He was full of sincerity and this wasn’t a conclusion I had made at the end of a three minute reunion. This was something I had seen long ago, on the face of a flawed but passionate pianist.

“Are you happy… no wait. Let me frame the question a bit more accurately.”

He searched my face, almost as if it was hidden in the wrinkles of my forehead. He took a deep breath and asked again.

“He loves you for who you are, right?”