Realization
The Runaway (Hiatus)
Torture. That's prety much the only word I can use to explain this.
4 years ago, if someone told me I'd be walking through a market with TaeMin, a hand carrying a bag full of food and sweets, I'd laugh so hard I'd probably die. But it's happening, I'm not laughing though. I'm enjoying it and I hate it.
"Hyung, I mean MinHo! Look! What is that!?" TaeMin asked pointing at a walking ball of white fur as we reaching the wooden exit sign of the market.
"Ho ! Is that a chicken!?" We both stopped and stared. The fur ball suddenly looked up at us and clucked. TaeMin let out a high pitched squeal.
"I don't know I don't know I don't know!" I could tell just by glancing at him from the corner of my eye that he was frightened by it, although at the same time curious. Sighing, I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the... thing.
"Ahh! Stop! Too close! We're too close!"
"Oh c'mon," He yanked and pulled trying to get away. I hope he doesn't expect to get out of my grip. Cuz he won't. "It's just a chicken covered in cotton candy." I tried as a joke. He didn't laugh though, just kept trying to get free.
"Noo! It's fat and ugly and HUGE! What if it attacks!?" I couldn't help but laugh. TaeMin is such a scaredy-cat sometmes. I remember on our first night away from the orphanage, we had to walk through the woods to find a park I heard someone talk about before. TaeMin jumped and squealed at every twig snapping, every owl hooting, every bug- even a butterfly- flying past. It drove me insane! Seriously, I had half a mind to tie him to a tree and leave him, but of course, just when I had out my rope, he started crying.
"MinHo, I'm scared."
"Then go back."
"I *sniff*... I can't..."
"Then it up and let's go!"
"It's so dark,"
"Use the flashlight."
"Can... you..."
"Can I what?"
"C-can you... *sniff* C-ca-c-"
"God damnit TaeMin! Spit it out!"
"Can you h-hold my hand?"
"What do I look like, your boyfriend or something?"
"N-no. I'm just-"
"Then act like a man and not a little about being in the woods."
"But I'm-"
"Forget it. I see the park. Hurry the up."
"Okay..."
Now that I look back, I realize what I total I was to him. Maybe he's right. Maybe we should be friends... At least not enemies.
I'll turn over a new leaf then. Yeah! I'll... uh... be kinder to him. He's already nice to me, so I should... return the favor, right?
"HYUNG! PLEASE IT'S COMING CLOSER! EWUGH! TAKE ME BACK!" TaeMin flung himself into my arms, latching himself with a grip tighter than the one I had on him. The force of him made me stumble back against a scratchy wooden poll. His hands locked into fists behind my back, his head buried cowardly into my chest.
Holy. .
The same heat I felt before is back. Only stronger. My cheeks feel like they just burst into flames the second I felt him press against me. He's so warm compared to the cold nipping at my neck and nose. He's so soft compared to the rough poll I'm pushed against. He just feels all too good. I... I don't like that I like this.
"It's just a chicken..." I whispered, voice somewhat hoarse. He mumbled a 'no' in my chest, shaking his head.
Heat... too much heat.
"Let go and we'll go back to the cabin, okay?" I tried bargaining. He shook his head, murmuring something I didn't catch. "Huh?" He pulled his head up and looked at me through watery eyes.
Tears? Are there tears? Here? Now?! I made him cry? What did I do?!
"Can you hold m-my hand... Please?" I gulped and all he did was continue to stare up at my with his big brown watery eyes. I don't like where this is going.
I reached behind me and unlatched his hands, pushing him off my chest. A frown was more than just showing on his face. It was like it was permanetly drawn on his face, keeping me from seeing the smile that was so seldom, so rare, and so beautif-
...
I couldn't help it anymore. I slowly moved my free hand to his and hooked our pinkies. TaeMin's eyes, still cloudy but no longer sad, widened at the sight of our hands making contact. Well, our fingers, but he's still shocked I actually did it. I'm still shocked.
"MinHo?"
"G-gosh. You can be such a four year-old sometimes." He laughed, finding the sarcarsm in my voice.
"If I'm four that makes you six!"
"I'm not a six year-old! Far from it!"
"I'm far from a four year-old!"
"You don't act like it."
"Neither do you." I chuckled, adjusting the bag in my other hand.
"You're such a kid." He sighed. I didn't make to much of it and we continued our walk back to the cabin. It was just a few seconds later, that I noticed TaeMin removed his pinky from mine only to slide his fingers carefully into the palm of my hand intertwining with mine.
"You're a kid too, we both are." I looked down at him, then at our hands, then him again. He had his smile back and at that moment I realsized that's all I want to see him do. Smile. No tears, no frowns, no nothing! Only smiles. Maybe, I can learn to smile again too. Maybe.
I was under that empression that only children, naive children, smile at everything. Laugh and cheer at everything. But that's how TaeMin is. That's how I want him to be. I guess being a kid isn't so bad.
Maybe I don't have to grow up just yet.
~~~~~~~~~
MinHo no! You're falling for him,aren't you?! NOT YET!!!
My A/Ns have gotten very irrelevant, haven't they?
OnKey is coming!! *insert Jaws theme music here* It's a chapter I'm wanting to write... mainly because I've never written Onkey before. I'm excited!! Whooooop!
That's all. So I guess this is g'bye...
G'bye!
I can't look at this and not laugh! Yesung!? Wtf bro?
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