Chapter 6

 

The third class’ saloon was pretty empty by now; one drunken guy or another playing a violin, dancing alone or just sleeping in a corner.

Donghae was lying down with Hyukjae on a small sofa with cheap, uncomfortable fabric, but they couldn’t feel more comfortable at the moment; leaning to different sides but still interlacing legs and chatting about everything and anything.

The artist was completely lost at how many times Hyukjae had openly laughed with his words. It was so easy to make him smile and laugh by now and Donghae needed to admit that he loved this side of the redhead way better than his usual self.

“… And my mother realized I had been hiding in the fireplace the entire time. You should have seen her face.” The older was lost in laugh with his own story. “She didn’t lecture me, though. The fault always belonged to my nannies or to the house workers… She’s always polite with me and my friends but she has hat tone… Have you noticed it?”

Donghae smiled, biting his lower lip.

“Yeah. I noticed the tone. I also noticed that you’re quite a brat, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“I am not!” the redhead defended himself, speaking way louder than usual – the beer running his veins helping with his reactions. He smiled softly, calming himself down as he played with his own fingers.

“I never felt like I belonged to somewhere, you know… I didn’t care much about fitting in because I always knew I was different.”

Donghae swallowed hard and grabbed one of the older’s hands.

“You belong with people who like you, Hyuk.”

Hyukjae met the brunette’s glistening eyes, in self wonder.

He sighed.

“I don’t think I belong in any place… I think I’m just always trying to run away because I was born in the wrong century… Wrong place, wrong time, wrong… Wrong everything.”

“You’re not wrong, Hyukjae!” the younger retorted, suddenly upset. “If you were born in any other place I would have never met you.”

Hyukjae’s eyes widened for a second, before a sad smile graced his lips.

“How can you be okay with this?”

“With what?”

“With knowing you want to stay with a guy when everyone else thinks it’s sick.”

Donghae blinked.

“I don’t care what other people think…”

“How can you not care? How can you be like this?”

“I just am. How could I ever be afraid of liking you and fight against it, Hyuk?” Donghae answered simply.

There was a creeping silence for a moment and Donghae started to realize what he had just actually voiced. Hyukjae felt his heart beating too hard against his chest and he wondered since when Donghae had such a power on him.

“W-what?”

Donghae swallowed hard and leaned closer to the redhead, caressing his cheek for a second in a sweet gesture.

“You heard me. You’re that kind of person who gives me no regrets for being different.” He shared softly and Hyukjae could only stay quiet for a moment, studying Donghae’s features.

“How can you turn my life upside down like this?”

The brunette only smiled and leaned closer but Hyukjae laid a hand on top of his chest, smiling uncomfortably. Donghae smiled too, trying to hide the disappointment.

“It’s because of him, isn’t it?”

“I’m sorry…”

Donghae sighed, caressing the redhead’s hands.

“You don’t love him, Hyukjae.”
“It doesn’t matter, Donghae. I can’t do this.”

“I understand.” Donghae smiled. Hyukjae got up, not able to stand that situation any longer. How could he feel so lost and confuse?

Donghae had a power on him he had never experienced and that scared him beyond imaginable.

“I need to go. I’m sorry.”

 

****

Today was a shining warm morning, contrasting with the cold Atlantic nights.

Hyukjae and Andrew were taking the breakfast together in their private promenade deck, as the ladies had gone to take their tea at the salon to talk about the marriage preparations.

Hyukjae was paler than usual, tired orbs focusing on his cup of hot milk.

Andrew cleared his throat before speaking.

“You hadn’t met me yesterday. I waited for you.” He shared with a calm but slightly upset voice.

“I was tired.”

Andrew nodded with understanding in a sarcastic gesture. 

“Your activities some decks below were no doubts exhausting.” He mocked. Hyukjae eyed him for a moment before heaving a harsh sigh, leaving his cup on top of the table.

“I see you had that undertaker of a manservant following me last night. How typical.” He scoffed. Andrew ignored him.

“You’ll never behave like that again, do you understand, Hyukjae?”

Hyukjae laughed bitterly.

“Who do you think you are to tell me how I should behave?” he attacked. Andrew laughed, biting his lip.

“Who do I think I am…” he mocked. “Who do I think I am?!” the rage came out in one go, Andrew getting up from his sit. “I’m your lover!” the breakfast was on the floor crushing around with a harsh move, table falling to the side and scaring Hyukjae who gasped in fright, eyes widening in horror. Andrew breathed heavily. “I’m the one who is with you and I won’t let that poor artist change that!” he raged grabbing the chair’s arms where Hyukjae was frozen, his face right in front of the redhead’s. “I’ll not be made a fool! Am I making myself clear?”

Hyukjae swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Y-Yes…Yes.” he tried; the air escaping him.

“Great. Now, excuse me.” said the blonde with his normal tone again, and walked out of the private deck.

Hyukjae was able to breathe again, air filling him in quick gasps and the redhead stood up from his seat, ruffling his hair to try to calm down.

What the hell had just happened? 

He grabbed the table, putting it straight again as he fought his tears.

This was why it was impossible to run away.

Andrew was dangerous. He had no idea what he could do to him, Emily or even Donghae.

Right now he was scared.

Really scared.

 

The morning had come to an end when he finally saw his mother: the guilty one of this entire situation.

He ignored her when she entered his room, keeping his reading.

“Hyukjae.”

“Let me guess. You gave up on the marriage. If that’s not the topic then we don’t have anything to talk about.” He answered coldly, not taking his eyes from his book.

She puffed her cheeks.

“You’re not to see that boy again, do you understand me?”

Of course that the “Donghae business” was still bothering her.

“Why? I think he’s a great person.” He kept his tone, still focused on the book.

“Hyukjae! Please, don’t test me. That boy is not one of us. You must keep yourself away from those people! Do you hear me? I forbid you.” She demanded. Hyukjae rolled his eyes.

“Oh please mother. Just stop it. You’ll give yourself a nosebleed.” He sighed.

The woman grabbed his book, forcing him to look up at her.

“This is not a game, Hyukjae. We can’t play with our situation. You know the money is gone.”

“Of course I know it’s gone!” he ragged stepping up. “You remind me every day.”

“Your father left us nothing but a legacy of bad debts hidden by a good name. That name is the only card we have to play! Do you want to dirty it, associating with the wrong people? You keep doing all this to test me. I don’t understand you! It is a fine match with the Bouquet family, it will assure our survival!”

Hyukjae frowned.

“How can you put this on my shoulders? It’s not my fault what dad did!”

“How can you be so selfish?” his mother breathed, outraged.

“I’m being selfish?!” he laughed bitterly. “I’m doing this for you! Not for us.”

Mrs. Lee blinked her tears.

“What do you want then, Hyukjae? Do you want to see me working as a seamstress? Is that what you want?” she asked. “To see our fine things sold at auction? Our memories scattered to the winds?” she cried, a hand covering .

Hyukjae sighed, ruffling his hair.

“I’m marring Emily already, am I not? You don’t need to worry about anything else.” He groaned, falling to his chair once more.

his life.

He was just going to give up and be the pet everyone wanted. At least he was the only one suffering.

End of story.

 

***

Donghae went down the main staircase of the first class where he had been a few hours ago. But now everything was different. Now he wasn’t a well dressed royal. Now he was a poor guy of the third class, dressed in plain, old clothes.

But he couldn’t care less. He wanted to find Hyukjae and that was the only thing that mattered now.

After yesterday, he needed to talk to the other. They couldn’t stay like that.

He tried to enter the saloon where most of people were now, listening and praying with the priest, but he was stopped at the entrance by the same workers who had bowed at him last night.

“Sir, you’re not supposed to be in here.” The garcon explained with a delicate and almost feminine voice.

“I just need to talk with someone for a second.” The small Asian pleaded but the man grabbed him, preventing him from walking into the space.

Mister Lovejoy, Andrew’s butler, glanced at the entrance and quickly moved to the place.

“I was just here last night. You don’t remember me?” Donghae curved an eyebrow as the man denied ever seeing him. “There! He’ll tell you.” Donghae snapped, pointing to Lovejoy who opened the saloon’s doors to step outside. “Hei, I really want—“

“Mr. Lee and Mrs. Bouquet continue to be appreciative of your assistance.” The man interrupted, stepping in front of Donghae and looking way bigger than him but not intimating the younger man a small bit. “They asked me to give you this in gratitude.” He shared softly, grabbing some notes from his pocket.

Donghae sighed.

“I don’t want your money, please, I just want-“

“Also, to remind you that you hold a third class ticket and your presence here is no longer appropriated.” Lovejoy interrupted again.

“Please! I just want to talk to Hyukjae for one second.” Donghae whined.

“Gentleman, would you please see that Mr. Lee gets back to where he belongs...” Lovejoy instructed to the workers, giving them the money he had in his hand as Donghae pleaded more. “…And stays there.”

“Yes, sir.” The two men nodded and grabbed Donghae by his shoulder. The younger guy nodded with a frown, glaring at the butler before pushing his body from the men and walk away.

Inside the saloon, Hyukjae was reading his praying with the rest of people, absolutely unaware of such happenings, right next to his future wife.

 

***

“And why do you have two steering wheels?” Mrs. Lee asked the Capitan, very interested in their tour around the ship, as an officer entered the navigation room to give his superior records of the sea.

“We really only use this one near shore.” Mr. Andrews, the designer, explained with a smile as the commandant nodded.

“Excuse me sir.” The officer stepped next to the crowd of people and handed a note to the white haired man. “Another ice warning. This one is from the Noordam.”

“Thank you, Sparks.” The commandant said blankly, reading the note and the young man quickly stepped away as Hyukjae eyed the commandant with a curved eyebrow.

The man looked up at him and smiled after observing his expression.

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s quite normal in this time of the year. In fact, we are speeding up. I just ordered the last boilers lit.” he smiled and everyone nodded.

 

A few meters from there, Donghae climbed the fence to the first class, stealing someone’s lost jacket and hat to cover up his identity. He needed to find Hyukjae and no one would stop him.

 

“Mr. Andrews… Forgive me…” Hyukjae interrupted the older man as they walked in the boats’ deck. “I did the sum in my head… And with the number of lifeboats times the capacity you mentioned… I’m sorry, but it seems that there are not enough for everyone aboard.” He shook his head, confused.

Mr. Andrews eyed him with a proud admiration.

“About half in fact. Hyukjae, you miss nothing, do you?” he smiled. “Actually, I put these new-type davits which can take an extra row of boats inside this one. But it was thought.. by some.. that the deck would look too cluttered…” he smiled sadly. “So it was overruled.”

“A waste of deck space as it is in an unsinkable ship.” Andrew Bouquet scoffed.

Mr. Andrews smiled.

“Sleep soundly, young Lee. I have built a good ship, strong and true.” He assured the redhead who smiled nodding. Since they have became behind the group, Mister Andrews ran a little ahead to guide the crew to their next stop, leaving Hyukjae behind, still worrying about the boats.

But the next second he was jumping in his place as Donghae appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his elbow.

“Come.”

Hyukjae glanced at the group before following Donghae inside a door of an empty saloon.

“Donghae, I’m sorry but I can’t see you.” The older reasoned the moment Donghae closed the door.

“I need to talk to you!” the brunette pleaded, stopping him from walking to the door.

“No, Donghae. No!” Hyukjae retorted coldly but then he regretted it. “Donghae… I’m engaged. I’m marrying Emily. The end. I love her so I’m staying with her.”

Donghae eyed him tiredly.

“Hyukjae… You don’t lover her like that and everyone knows. Why are you doing this? Why are you afraid of him?”

“I’m not afraid of him! I’m doing what is right!”

Donghae sighed.

“Hyuk you— Gosh! You’re no picnic alright? You’re a spoiled little brat!” he bragged and sighed. “But under that… You’re the most amazingly, astounding wonderful guy… Man.” He corrected, closing his eyes. “I’ve ever known…”

“Donghae, please!” Hyukjae tried, fighting against his arms but Donghae pushed him gently against the wall next to the door.

“No. No. Please, let me try and get this out! You’re everything I’ve dreamed…” he tried but sighed closing his eyes for a second. “I’m not an idiot, okay? I know how the world works.” He gesticulated. “I’ve got 20 buckets in my pocket and I have nothing to offer you. I know. I know we can’t stay together and society want us to burn in hell for our choices but I was born like this and even if I try I can’t stop thinking about you. I know Andrew has everything in his favor and he won’t let you go. He will use this marriage to take you and he will succeed because he has everything I don’t but I won’t give up. I’m too involved now... You jump, I jump, remember? I can’t turn away without knowing you will be alright.” He almost whined, stepping closer to the taller man. “That’s all I want.” His voice was a small whisper by now.

Hyukjae swallowed hard, trying to keep his eyes on the brunette’s. It was hard with his inviting lips almost breathing against his.

“Well, I’m fine. I’ll be okay. Really.” He tried to sound confident but he was failing miserably.

“Really?” Donghae met his eyebrows in a hurt expression. “I don’t think so… They’ve got you trapped, Hyukjae. And you’re gonna die if you don’t break free… You’re strong so it will take time but… But sooner or later that fire that I love about you…” he fought against his tears for seeing Hyukjae breaking in front of him, his tears filling his eyes. He was such a liar. He would never be okay. “That fire is going to burn out, Hyuk.”

Hyukjae swallowed hard, controlling himself to dry the tears burning in his eyes and pushing Donghae from him.

“It’s not up to you to save me, Donghae.”

A nod.

“I know. Only you can do that.” The younger whispered softly. Hyukjae sighed, fighting against the desire of kissing the boy in front of him and he turned to the door.

“I’m going back. Don’t look for me.” He shared coldly and opened the door, stepping outside without looking back and leaving Donghae alone with only his own despair.  

 

***

“Where have you been?!” Emily stormed inside the redhead’s room, furious. “You disappeared from the tour like that! Are you crazy?! Your mother is furious.”

Hyukjae buried his head on the book he was holding. He was laying in his bed, stomach down and trying to take his head out of things (called Donghae) but he couldn’t and he was going insane.

“I’m so sick of this…” he whined hopelessly and Emily lost her frown, running to sit next to his friend. She curved her body on top of his body, caressing his red hair.

“What is going on..?”

“Everything’s going on… I’m don’t know what to do… Why is everything being so complicated lately? If he hadn’t appeared everything would be easier… I wouldn’t know there was something better out there…” he spoke through the book.

Emily smiled sadly.

“Is this about Donghae?”

“Why is he doing this to me?” the redhead whined again.

“Why don’t you just stay with him? Is this because of Andrew?” she asked and Hyukjae snapped his head up, staring at her in shock.

“What?”

“I’m not blind…” she smiled softly.

“So… So… You always knew?” he tried, turning to her and sitting on the bed.

“Yes…

“Oh my god, Emily, I’m so sorry.” He breathed in panic, grabbing her hands. She shook her head, chuckling softly.

“It’s okay. It’s not like I did not know your preferences.”

“Still. I’m sorry for not telling you.”

“I understand. I would have not, either. And, I also see how different you look with Donghae. You really like him, don’t you?””

Hyukjae sighed, looking down at his lap.

“Yes… I like him so much. This is crazy, I mean, I know it’s just passion since we just met but it’s so strong that I don’t want anything else. For once, something is out of routine in my life, you know. I’m sick and tired of thinking and behaving and all that… I want to have a life like Donghae. I want to be free and fight for my dreams. I don’t know if what we feel will disappear but actually, I don’t care. I want to give it a try. I want to risk for once in my life. I know I can’t be with you either, Emily. This marriage… It’s wrong, it’s just wrong. I know you also want to be free and go have your life so I can’t do this to you. I can’t do this to us. We need to fight against them and make our own destiny.” He shared with confidence. She smiled.

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough just yet. But yes, I want it. And if this is your turn, just grab it and go for it. I just want you to be happy. I also don’t know if Donghae is the perfect choice but… I see the way he looks at you and I must say it’s not very common. I know he can help you achieving your dreams and I know he likes you, maybe more than you like him.”

“But Andrew…”

“Andrew can’t do anything.” She assured. “We won’t let him.”

Hyukjae chuckled softly.

“He’s your brother.”

“He is. And I love him. But you have been always even more of a brother than him. I want to see you happy. And I know your place is not with us. Andrew needs to accept that too.”

The redhead nodded, meeting his eyebrows in a confident expression.

“It’s my life. I deserve to choose my destiny.” He muttered almost angry and he hugged the blonde girl. “Thank you, Emily. I love you.”

“I love you too. Go find him.” She chuckled and then Hyukjae was gone. She shook her head, grabbing his book.

Seriously, and she was the seventeen year old brat.

I’m surrounded by crazy people…, she thought as she lay on her brother’s bed to read his book.

 

***

It was sundown when Hyukjae found Donghae; the sun meeting with the sea in the horizon and painting the sky in soft variations of red and pink.

The environment was calm, people joining to dinner and the ship cutting the calm sea with an unnoticeable speed.

Donghae was in the bow’s fence, hoping to find dolphins again when he heard a soft voice.
“Hae.” The redhead nicknamed him for the first time.

The small blonde looked back, finding the only man he had fallen in love with.

In two days…

How come was that possible? He had no idea. But Hyukjae was definitely the most passionate human being he had ever known.. And he had known an awful lot of them.

 

“Hyukjae.” A gentle smile as a quiet breeze touched their hairs.

The older one smiled too.

“I’ve changed my mind, Donghae.” He began but Donghae cut him off, bringing a finger to his lips and sharing a soft “shh.”

He gave his hand for the other to hold.

“Come here.”

_________________________

 

And... It shall be continued! xD
I'm so sorry for ending like this after disapearing for so long but I had a Titanic block and then I forgot that had actually ended the chapter already -.-
I , I know. But I'm going to try and finish the next chapter really quick and give it away after the weekend! 

Thanks again to Myeol-Chii, for always betting this work ^^

And to be a ing tease and prove I'm working on this fic, I'll leave here a preview of the next chapters because I LOVED to write this scene!

 

 

«“As a paying costumer… I expect to get what I want.” He mocked softly, smiling slightly as he stepped back to give Donghae a full view of his body. He was acting all cool and full of himself but that was just a big fat façade to cover up his nerves.

He was sure he had never felt this nervous before.

His hands touched the robe’s fabric and, with a light gesture, he forced it out of his shoulders and made it fall to the floor. He swallowed hard, never leaving Donghae’s stare as the boy looked at him with big, nervous eyes; his mouth falling a little agape.

Donghae swallowed hard, his eyes covering every feature of his lover’s body before he breathed again, moving uncomfortably on his seat.

Okay.

Maybe Adonis was a good description.

He looked at the couch, pointing at it as he felt completely stupid.

“Over there. On… the bed. The couch!” he corrected quickly, trying not to blush.

Hyukjae fought his smile.

Cute.»

TRALALALA

Adios!