Behind my smile is everything you’ll never understand

Chapter 2

RAIN

Rain waited till Jong left and then he walked out of the practice room. Joon was leaning on the wall, looking like he needed the additional support  ´cause his legs wouldn´t hold him anymore.

„Hey.“

Joon looked up and noticed his presence. If it was possible his face paled even more and his pupils dilated in surprise.

„H-hyung. What are you doing here?“

„Well, you probably won´t believe me, but I was actually waiting for you.“

„F-for me? Wae?“

„Why are you so nervous Joon-ah? Do you think, I will scold you again?“

Joon blinked. His teacher was smiling at him, but it was a smile, that made you shiver in fear.

„You know, Seungho talked to me about how I am being too strict with you and I acknowledged he is right. I was criticizing you a lot and I wanted to apologize for that. You deserve to be praised as well. But you see... While I was waiting, I heard something interesting about you and Jong meeting tonight. Care to enlighten me why would you agree to meet him when you are obviously not in the condition to do so? Do you actually believe what he said? Are you really that stupid? How could you not tell me about this?!“ Rain´s voice was getting louder and he was slowly loosing control. The whole situation was just too surreal. He couldn´t believe his dongsaeng was being abused and he had no idea about it! How could he be so blind? He knew Jong was a jerk. He met him a few times and he could tell, he was bad news. Unfortunately, he was quite rich so Rain didn´t have a choice but to leave him in his position. He tried to avoid him as much as possible, though. But how did Joon even met Jong? And why the hell, Joon didn´t come to him?

 „And if you think, Rain would stand up for you, think again. He is not exactly very fond of you, now is he? You know, his criticizing is not a secret in this company„ Jong's words suddenly came back to him. Could Joon really believe he didn´t care about him? He looked at his hobae and he saw fear in his eyes. He cursed inside. What has he done?

„I... I...“ Joon was stuttering and if the situation wasn´t so serious he would actually find it cute.

Rain took a deep breath to calm himself. He grabbed Joon´s arm and dragged him back into the practice room. He closed the door behind them and turned to face the younger male again.

„How many times?“

Joon gulped.

„How many times what, hyung?“

„Don´t play stupid. You know very well, what I am asking. How many times did that sorry excuse for a human you?“

Joon winced when he heard the word .

„What? Do you disagree? As far as I know, when someone forces someone else to sleep with him against the other person´s will, it´s called . You didn´t want to sleep with him, did you?“

Joon shooked his head.

„Of course not, but ...“

„You haven´t answered my question, Joon.  HOW. MANY. TIMES?“

„I can´t tell exactly... It was about three times a week for the last five months. Well, with the exception of the last two weeks, when I´ve tried to avoid him.“

„Five months? FIVE MONTHS?! That was your for five freaking months and you haven´t told me anything? How long were you going to let him do this if I haven´t found out?“

JOON

Joon was confused. Why was Rain getting so worked up? It´s not as if he really cared about him...

„I... I don´t understand why are you so angry. You can´t do anything about it anyway and I can´t let my members down...“

Rain grabbed Joon by his collar.

„What the hell do you mean by I can´t do anything about it? I can do EVERYTHING about it. I am the f****** owner of this agency and even if I wasn´t, I am a citizen of South Korea and I have a right to report him to the police. What is exactly, what you should have done after he threatened you.“

„But I don´t have a proof! Jong is not an idiot. He has been very careful with all of this. But please, I don´t want anybody to know. If this gets out, my career is over. MBLAQ won´t be able to continue and I can´t take that. I just can´t...“ Joon was getting teary eyed. He was tired and hungry and he didn´t have energy for this fight. He didn´t want to talk about it. It was difficult enough for him to live through it, he didn´t needed to be reminded.

„Look, I still have a schedule to keep today and I just can´t talk about this right now. I just really can´t.“

Rain was furious. With his dongsaeng for acting like it wasn´t a big deal he was ually harrased. With Jong for daring to hurt his Joonie (wait a moment, when did he start to refer to Joon as his Joonie? Rain wondered.). And most of all with himself for being such a terrible boss and hyung.

„I will cancel your schedule. You are not gonna do anything until I decide you are well enough to work. And you are going to tell me everything. Right now.“

Joon wanted to argue but he could feel the fatigue catching up with him again so he just let Rain call his manger and deal with the current situation. As soon as Rain hanged up the phone, he turned to Joon.

Joon sighed and was about to start talking when his vision got clouded. Cold sweat appeared on his forehead and his breathing got shallower.

Rain was immediately by his side, supporting him and asking if he was okay. Joon wanted to answer, but he had no strenght left. His world got black and he passed out.

RAIN

Rain didn´t expect Joon to suddenly collapse into his arms but that moment was eye-opening for him. Seeing Joon so hurt, looking so fragile, his heart clenched in pain and he realized he was actually in love with his dongsaeng. There was no other explanation for the feelings he had. He was a strong man, but seeing his love unconscious has brought tears into his eyes. He was very close to submitting into his own abyss of despair and selfloathing but he needed to help Joon first. Therefore, he picked him up and carried him into his car. While he was driving to the hospital, he called his private doctor to set up a room for Joon and to keep everything confidential.

Joon was right about one thing. The public couldn´t know about this. If it leaked out, it would stay with Joon for the rest of his life. He would be always reminded of it without a chance to forget and fully let go. The people would no longer see him as a great dancer and singer, but as a victim of this cruel society. They wouldn´t see his true character, the incredible strenght he possesed. He would always appear week in their eyes, as someone who was beeing used. A+ would probably go crazy. Some of them might even try to kill Jong. He wouldn´t be suprised if that happened. He himself, was having a hard time resisting the urge to go kill the man right this instant. However, he knew Joon would blame himself for everything, he would worry about the fans more than his own beeing and Rain didn´t think, he could handle that. Not after he realized, what Joon meant to him.

When they arrived at the hospital, everything was already prepared and Joon was taken by the doctors. Rain was left in the private waiting room with nothing else to do, jut letting his mind torture him. The rage and fury came back and he was visibly shaking in anger. He cursed, punched the wall hard enough to make his knuckles bleed, took a few deep breaths and then he got his cellphone. He dialed Jong´s number. After a few rings, Jong picked up.

„Good evening, Rain-shi.“

„Jong-shi.“ Said Rain with a voice, that could make a weakhearted people have a heart attack.

„We need to talk.“