Behind my smile is everything you’ll never understand

Chapter 3

RAIN

After the call, Rain sat down and waited for the doctors to come and tell him about Joon's condition. He was really woried about him. He feared Joon pushed himself too far. MBLAQ's comeback was scheduled to be in a few months so the boys will need to start practicing like crazy soon and he was scared, the hard training will only hurt Joon more. He knew he couldn't let him slack off, though. The cooperation of the group was one of the most important things when it came to perfoming and being in sync could be achieved only by training together for a long period of time. However, he promised himself he would cancel the additional work, that Joon had. Promotion was important, but it was not worth the health of Joon. Variety shows, commercials, interviews, etc. It all could wait. Right now, it would be more than enough for Joon to just focus on the comeback. He will need to check on him more and make sure he is not skipping meals or loosing sleep again. His thinking was interrupted when the doctors came.

"Well, I have good news and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?"

Rain sighed.

"We may as well start with the bad ones."

"The examination confirmed what you had said. Joon has been repeatedly taken by a male. The traces are almost gone, though. So it didn't happen recently. However, what troubles us the most is the blood test we took. It showed traces of various chemical supplements and anti-depressant pills. It looks like he has been taking them for a while."

Rain paled. He knew how dangerous these things may be.

"Here comes the good news. We don't think it caused an addiction, yet. It looks like he himself didn't know what he was doing and he repeatedly changed the brand. Even though, this could have been more dangerous and it could lead to overdosing or other unpredictable scenarios, but since it was discovered soon enough, it actually saved him from addiction. SInce he wasn't taking the same pills, his body didn't have time to grow dependant on them. The sad thing is, he actually felt he needs to take those to be able to go on so you need to talk to him and explain, it's not a right choice and it could be fatal so he needs to stop taking them. Also, he collapsed from exhaustion. He has a slight fever but we firmly believe it's only due to overworking himself so with enough rest he should be fine."

Rain calmed down a little after hearing the explanation but he was really upset. He painfully realized, he also played a big role in making Joon to become like this. 

"Is he awake? Can I go see him?"

"Yes, he is awake but we hope he would sleep again soon so you can go see him, but don't take too much time. He needs to rest."

Rain nodded and walked past the doctors towards Joon's room.

JOON

Joon woke up in a hospital bed. It wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. He didn't particularly ached but he felt drained and tired. He figured he probably passed out and that's why he ended up here. It didn't suprise him. He knew, he was heading to something like this. He just hoped he would last longer. The thought, that he collapsed when he was with Rain made him worry. He was such a failure. He couldn't protect himself from Jong and he was only a hindrance to the group like this. How could he be so weak? Rain went through a much harsher training in the U.S. but he could take it without complaining or fainting. So how was he supposed to face him now? He just prooved, he was really not worthy of being given such a precious chance to debut and train under someone like Rain-sunbaenim. Suddenly, the door opened and Rain walked in. 

"Hey." He smiled a little and Joon was confused. Wasn't he angry with him?

"How are you feeling?" asked Rain.

"I'm fine. Honestly. Just got a little dizzy."

Rain let out a dry laugh.

"Yeah, right." He awkwardly looked around the room and decided to sit down on the chair next to Joon's bed. Once he was sitted, he sighed.

"Look, I'm really sorry. I know, I've been pushing you too much and I want to properly apologize for putting so much pressure on you. I should have known you are not someone who would skip practice just because he got a little bit more busy. My driving force may be a criticizm, but I shouldn't have expected you to be the same. I should have praised you more and encourage you more. I should have noticed what was happening between you and Jong and I should have stopped it sooner. I can not even explain how dissapointed and angry I am with myself. So please, don't blame youself  'cause I know you are doing it right now. None of this is your fault. Do you hear me, Joon. NONE. It's all mine.." his voice broke and he couldn't continue anymore. His eyes were teary and his lower lip was trembling.

Joon could only stare. He was sincerely surprised by Rain's reaction and seeing him so upset has scared him much more than his own condition. He could take everything. The packed schedules, the long training hours, Jong using his body... but he could not take seeing Rain crying. Especially not because of him. He hesitently put his hand on rain's shoulder.

"But I thought, you hated me." he said quietly. Rain sobbed and it broke Joon's heart. 

"Hate you? How could I ever hate you, Joon-ah, when I love you so much?"

Joon's eyes widen and he froze. Has he really heard properly?

"You... you... l...love me?" Rain nodded.

"Yeah. I love you very much so please stop hurting yourself. I've heard about the pills you are taking and you must stop that. Do you understand? You absolutely can't  take them. Ever again."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, just promise me, it will never happen again."

"Yeah, I promise. I will stop."

"I'm glad to hear that. I promise you, I will never fail you again. I know, I am at fault for making you misundestand me but now, when you know the truth you have to come to me if something happens, okay? No matter how trivial it is."

Joon nodded. He was so happy right now, he could just die. He has never even dared to dream about Rain loving him. It was such a surreal thing, he was scared it was only a fantasy. He wished he could stay awake longer but he felt his eyes closing.

"I love you, too." He whispered before the sleep could take him away again. 

Rain looked at Joon and lovingly his hair. Ah, how much has he hurt him, how can Joon still love him? He would lie, if he said it didn't make him happy, though. He didn't expect Joon to return his feelings so he was extremely happy right now. However,  it didn't calm his anger. 

"You just rest. Hyung will take care of everything.You don't need to worry anymore. I promise, I will protect you from now on." He kissed sleeping Joon and left the room, fire shooting from his eyes. Someone was going to die. 

JONG

Jong was really surprised when he got a call from Rain. He knew, the other didn't like him and tried to avoid him as much as possible. Rain didn't specify what was the meeting going to be about and Jong just hoped, it would end soon so he could have some quality time with Joon. When he arrived at the office, it was dark and it didn't look like someone was there. He suddently got a bad feeling about this. Why would Rain called only him, especially so late? He entered the conference room, where the meeting was supposed to be held and the lights. He almost got a heart attack. Rain was calmly sitting on  one of the chair with a completely blank face. Jong didn't understand why would he choose to wait in the dark instead of turning the lights on and the bad feeling only increased. He didn't want to appear scared, though. So he decided to act annoyed instead.

"Ah, good evening, Rain-shi. May I ask why did you have such a sudden need to see me? You know, I'm quite a busy person so..." he didn't finish the sentence since Rain interrupted him.

"Oh, I certainly believe so but I didn't know it would be such a problem for you to meet me tonight. Or have you already made other plans?" There was something about the way he asked to question... as if he knew... Jong was puzzled.

"Actually, yes. I have already made plans so if it's not something important I would appreciate if it could wait."

"I'm afraid, this can't wait."

Jong was getting angry himself.

"Oh really? And what could possibly be so important that you would need to tell me and only me about it at such a late hour?"

Rain laughed. It wasn't a happy and cheerful laugh people were used to hearing from him. No. This one sounded cocky, arrogant, more like someone was choking than laughing and Jong was really nervous. Something was wrong. Something was very very very wrong.

"Ah... I don't know. Perhaps the fact, that you charge more hours than you actually work?" Jong smirked, so it was about his pay. He could deal with that. Everyone was lying about the working hours anyway... it was not a big deal.

"Or maybe the fact, that you don't pay half of the taxes, you should?"

"So what?" Jong was back to beeing arrogant and confident. Rain obviously didn't have any idea about was happening between him and Joon so there was nothing to really worry about.

"Do you have any idea how rich I am? I know people. People on very high places. So what if I charge a little more than I actually work. It's not like the company is going to go bankrupt because of it. And even if I don't pay all the taxes, who is gonna report it? You? And do you honestly think, they will sentence me? Come on... they all practicaly owe their positions to my dad." Rain just ignored him and continued.

"Or maybe the fact, that you are one of my artists?" Jong paled.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh really? Well.... I believe, you were supposed to meet with Joon tonight. But you see... I think it would be quite difficult for him to make it... you know, with him being in the hospital and all that...." Jong got nervous. This was not good. He could see the anger in Rain's eyes and he knew he was screwed.

"Well, first of all, you are fired. I don't care how much money you have or who do you know. I've been in this industry for some time as well, so I am not poor myself and believe me, I know people too. Not to mention, that this is my company, I own the controlling shares and everything's going to be according to my wishes. I only tolarated your presence because I actually respect your father but I have made a mistake. You are not fitted to be a part of my agency. I may not be able to proove what you've done to Joon, but I have recorded our conversation with you kindly admitting to your crimes regarding taxes and unfair wages. I believe, it will be enough for the court to sentence you at least a few years in prison. However, if you think, I am letting you go so easily, think again. You may not be able to pay for all of your crimes legally, but tonight, I am making you pay and I strongly suggest you start praying, if you know how. 'cause I am not sure in what state you are gonna end up."

Jong turned around and wanted to escape but before he could take the first step, Rain has already grabbed him from behind. He was quick and precise. He finally put the years of learning martial arts into a real use. It took only just a few minutes but once he was finished, Jong was beyong recognition. Rain didn't even broke into a sweat. He had a very dangerous look in his eyes and his smile could only be described as evil. He crunched down, when Jong was lying, coughing up his own blood.

"If you wanna sue me for assalut , go ahead. But I doubt there will be any proof. It's just your word against mine and who do you think they will believe? Someone sued for fraud or a world star?" Rain laughed and left, leaving Jong in pain.

JOON

When Joon woke up the next day he found Rain sleeping in the chair next to him. He smiled and continue to watch him sleep. After a few minutes, Rain also woke up.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too." 

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, really really really good."  Rain smiled. Joon hated to destroy the mood but he had to ask.

"What's going to happen to Jong?" Something flashed though Rain's eyes, but it was soon gone.

"You don't have to worry about that. I took care of it." 

"You what?"

"I took care of it. He won't be able to hurt anyone anymore."

"Please tell me, you didn't kill him."

"oh, I wanted to, believe me but I am unfortunately not that stupid. He is a bad guy, Joon-ah. He had other things to be responsible for. He messed up with the payments and taxes, so I guess, he will rott in prison for a few years."

"So you didn't do anything to him?"

"I've never said that. He hurt someone very precious to me. Do you honestly think, I would just let him be? I don't think, his own mother could have recognize him after I was done."

Joon wanted to be angry at Rain for doing something so dangerous but he felt protected and loved and ... he didn't have time to finish that thought, because Rain suddenly leaned in and kissed him. And he gladly kissed him back. 

Life can sometimes be hard, but it can also be wonderful. Afterall, a rainbow can appear only when it rains....

THE END