Reality was never bright for Jinki. Reality never liked him, constantly bullied him. He was a smudge, a stain that couldn't ever be removed. And he would forever be reminded of his unwanted existence. 

Except in his dreams. 

In his dreams, Jinki was Onew. He was an amazing singer, a little clumsy with his feet, and free. That was all he needed to stay in this majestic world. This peaceful land where the sky is your ground and the ocean is your sky.

Onew likes jumping on the stars, one by one, twirling on the brightest puff of smoke. There are clouds here, too. Clouds full of pixie dust that make his skin sparkle. And as he twinkles along with the stars, Donald Duck welcomes him with a squeak and quack, winking. Onew hears something along the lines of 'Welcome back, Ondubu. I'm glad you weren't injured today.'

Onew sends him a quack of gratitude, pulling Donald in for a hug. As soon as their skin touches each other, Donald disappears, and Onew is left to hug himself. He shrugs off the empty ache in his chest and laughs as he chases after his friend. He stops a few miles away to wave to the moon, Luna. "Chess, next time, okay?"

Luna smiles and nods, watching him go. Onew can't help but notice that her smiles are always sad. A beautiful work of art should smile with crinkles around her eyes, shining with a b ecstasy. Onew looks back to smile at the moon, making a rash decision. "Donald won't mind; how about we play a quick game?"

Donald doesn't mind, and after losing in a difficult tug-of-war of inconsistent good and bad moves, he and Onew drift towards the sky. Onew sees past the clouds and scans over the ocean. The continents, little paper shapes, delicate and fragile, smile down at him. Onew smiles back, feeling the brushes of warmth. He sings to them, rich voice igniting a soft kindle in the stars. A movement from the corner of his eyes catch his attention. A star? No, brighter than a star, almost like a jewel.

The corners of his lips pull down into a frown.

And there are his parents, angry features sketched on the thin sheets of paper. Onew reaches out his arms, trying to reach them, trying to erase those angry faces and replace them with smiling ones.

And when he lies down on his bed, Onew is lulled to sleep by the ocean. Soft waves crashing against each other, soothing and so blue it hurts his eyes to look for too long. There are white clouds just before the ocean, and his best friend tells him that if he can pass them, he can touch the ocean.

Onew would like that. To touch the sky. But when he tries to pass the white clouds, the ocean forces his tired eyes to close and he sleeps.

Or in reality, he wakes up.

Onew can hear Donald Duck's sad goodbye, squeezed syllables spelling out a 'good luck'. And then Onew is back to being Jinki. When Jinki wakes up, he finds himself yet again in a fetal position. He uncurls himself, stretching his stiff limbs and grunting at the strain of his pained muscles. When Jinki lifts his head, he is met with the metal bars of his under bed.

Jinki slides out, coughing at the dust in the air. They coat the atmosphere, choking him and locking him between life and death. He stands there for awhile with teary eyes and a tired body. He wants to crawl back under his bed and sleep again, the daylight peeking through his curtains too unwelcoming. He saw someone in his dream and he meant to talk to her; maybe next time he'll get a chance to. The floorboards creak as Jinki trudges towards his bedroom door.

The moment he opens it, a wave of rusting metal and more dust hits him. He peers over the staircase and sighs when no sign of any other human being is detected. With light footsteps, Jinki edges down the stairs. Their couch is overturned, blood smeared on the carpet (so that's what the metallic smell was), and the was TV scarred with jabs of random objects. Judging by what laid around it, it was either a hammer or a wrench. It could be his second grade spelling bee trophy, dented and forgotten in the middle of the hallway. The drapes on the windows are now draped across the floor. Picture frames scatter the carpet, broken and cold.

The kitchen is left untouched.

He used to hide in one of the cabinets, safe only as long as he didn't move, didn't make a sound. Jinki was grateful he had been in his room studying. As soon as the shouts resonating past the stairs, he had hidden. The fight must've ended early, for Jinki was still in one piece. One breaking, scratched piece.

He gets ready to go to work, also grateful that it was a Saturday. Jinki hated school, even if he was the second in the entire building. In this small town, people weren't the smartest batch. His back hunched and a hood covering his growing hair, Jinki started his walk towards the town's dock. He can smell the sea from here, can hear the screeching of seagulls and the quiet, vibrating coos of the pigeons.

When Jinki arrives, his seventeen year old body quite strong for this kind of job, his manager greets him warmly, dressed in a neat sailor uniform, collar wrinkle-free and buttons on his jacket gleaming. Jinki waves his greeting, lips pulled into a firm, straight line. He changes into his uniform, which consisted of thick overalls with a plain t-shirt under. Instead of a vest, Jinki chose a heavy jacket and stepped into his rubber boots, grabbing his gloves on the way.

"My son is coming back from the army today," his manager announces proudly. "Times are hard, but I'm glad my boy will come home safe. They don't need any more kids up there. If you're thinking about joining the army, Jinki, I'm hunting you down and dragging your back here." The warning made Jinki unconsciously cringe, though it was supposed to mean that his manager cared about him.

But the army meant away from here and Jinki would do anything to get away from here.

Why would you make me stay in this hell place?

He went about his work, tying the incoming boats to the dock and untying the leaving ships. Sometimes boats would come back with loads and carts of fish and he'd help clean them and drag them to the nearby supermarket. Jinki sometimes took a swim and picked up any litter he saw in the ocean. The sun burned his skin, made it almost impossible to open his eyes.

When it was finally break time, Jinki hid in his corner, facing the sky with tired eyes. His muscles ached, his fingertips felt like they'd fall off any moment. With knees pulled up towards his chest, he laid his arms across them, mildly looking at the clouds. The blue sky resembled the blue ocean in his dreams. Could he touch the sky if he tried? Or would it be impossible, like touching the ocean in his dreams? Jinki quickly looked away, mesmerized, and switched to the sun.

For some reason it didn't hurt to look at the sun, it almost felt... nice. Like he was meant to look at the sun. It was so warm, kissing his skin with streaks of its rays. It mimicked a hug, a hug he's never felt before.

Jinki didn't know how long he was staring at the sun and just when he's about to close his eyes to take a nap, a dark shadow interrupts his vision, towering over him. He couldn't see who, blinded by the sun. When he opened his eyes once again, the person was still black, but outlined by the sun's pretty rays.

A star? No, it's brighter than a star, almost like a jewel.

Oh, so I must be asleep now, dreaming again.

"You shouldn't look at the sun for too long, you'll hurt your eyes."