Unexplained Emotions
Connections
I sat in class trying to pay attention to the lecture before me but my mind kept drifting to my friends and how much fun they must be having without me. I don't even know how long it's been since I've hung out with them other than at school. Ever since this year started my extra lessons and tutor have been keeping my schedule packed.
"You ready to go?" A voice asked from behind tapping me on the shoulder to pull me out of my thoughts.
"Ah... Seung Ho. I don't really feel like studying today." I sighed and slowly got up to pack my belongings.
"When do you ever want to study Min Ae?" He chuckled and grabbed a few of her books as they went out to his car.
"I guess..." I threw my things in the back and sat in the passenger's seat just staring out the window.
"Is everything okay? You seem to be a bit off today." He asked hesitantly and placed his free hand on mine.
...Seung Ho. He's always worrying about me. I feel like a bother to always cause him such grief. He's helped me so much over these few months, and I wouldn't have gotten to my current rank if it wasn't for him tutoring me in secrecy... Unless it involves school he doesn't need to worry, I shouldn't bother him with my trivial problems.
"Well, I did skip lunch to studay again..." I lied. Well technically it's a true statement. It's a usual thing but not the reason for why I'm out of it today.
"Aigoo, what will I do with you?" He squeezed my hand lightly then reached over to pull a candy bar out from his secret snack stash.
"You're a life saver, thanks Seung Ho." I smiled and savored the sweet chocolate.
He smiled and stopped the car as soon as we arrived. "Well, time to study."
Seung Ho went around the car and opened my door while taking all of our things out from the back.
"I'll carry my things." I offered but he shook his head and just told me to open the door from him.
I did as he said and in a matter of minutes our study session began with our eyes glued to the textbooks. We must have been working for at least an hour because when I pulled away from the book, the sun had almost completely disappeared.
I sighed heavily and threw my pencil down in defeat to massage my temples.
"Do you want to take a break?" He looked up from his book and I shook my head.
"It's okay, I'm fine. We should continue." I smiled sheepishly while gathering my studying materials once again. But before I could reach my pencil, Seung Ho snatched it up and held it out of my reach.
"No, you're tired! I bet you can't even get your pencil from me." He held his arm up and rose to his feet taunting me by sticking out his tongue.
I glared at him for a second before standing up and thinking of a way to get my pencil back. And why does he need to emphasize my short physique?
Then, an idea suddenly came to me. I should pretend to fall and while he's distracted with helping me I'll take it from his grasp.
"Yah, give it!" I demanded before stepping forward and deliberately tripping over myself setting my plan into action.
...But I didn't realize that it would turn out more like me tackling him and us tumbling over one another.
I ended up on top of him. Our faces were just inches apart and I could feel his heart racing and his unsteady breathing as he looked up at me.
I stared into his eyes for a while, just examining this side of Seung Ho I've never seen before... And before I knew what was happening I heard the pencil fall to the ground as he caressed my cheek while gazing into my eyes.
He slowly closed his eyes and the distance between our lips. It was a strange feeling, really. Something sweet, soft, and very unfamiliar. But somehow, it all semmed to fit perfectly until a clicking sound accompanied with quick footsteps emerged from the still of the night.
I quickly broke the kiss and he pushed me off of him.
But it was already too late. His brother stood there wide eyed with his jaw wide open.
"AH! Sorry Hyung!! I'll go upstairs, just resume whatever you two were doing." He said quickly while blocking us from view with his hand and ran up the stairs.
Seung Ho ran up after him and I packed up my things to leave. I don't think I'm ready to talk to him about any of this just yet...
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"Tae Gyun, are you going to stay with this guy?" I asked as we entered one of the private room and glared at Jun Hyung.
He slipped on a jacket different from our school's uniform and looked back at us. "Just for a bit I have somethings I have to take care of."
Just then Jae Hee nudged my elbow. "Eun Hye, it's getting a bit late... Maybe we should just go?"
He checked his appearance in the full length mirror beside his friend and smoothed out the invisible wrinkles in the familiar jacket. It must be one of his old ones...
He turned to us with an arrogant smirk plastered on his face, "You two are more than welcome to borrow something a bit more comfortable and stay for a bit..."
Was it me or did his personality just take a 180 degree spin? I rolled my eyes; Is he being serious? He ruined my plans with my best friend who I only seem at school. She never goes out with me anymore because of her boyfriend...
And just like that, I exploded. "So, this is the kind of guy you were all along, huh?"
He looked up from his self-primping as I went on, "You work in this kind of place? I know exactly what guys like you do, and it makes me sick!"
Jae Hee was trying to calm me down but they needed to know what kind of people they are for doing these types of things. "Guys like you lead women on. They woo them and flirt with them so they willingly give up money and other things to see and spend time with you."
I could see Tae Gyun, Jun Hyung, and the rest tense up at my words. It was a reality that they didn't want to admit. They lie and use people for their own personal gain. "Then, when the girl you're playing thinks that she might even be in love with you, she finds out what kind of place this really is and starts to hate you. All of the things you said to her and did with her will all be worthless. She will never trust you again and wont even want to see your face."
I didn't realize until the end of my words that tears were falling from my eyes. Everything, I remembered everything about him in that one moment. I had tried so hard to forget about him and just go on with my life, but his jacket Tae Gyun was wearing, this room, this club... Everything just triggered my memories of him.
I couldn't stay here after causing such a scene, so I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and briskly walked towards the exit.
Unfortunately, I was stopped right at the door way by the person I hated seeing. The person I was currently thinking about. The person who ran such a scandalous club, Park Tae Jun.
"And the worst part of it all is if you really loved this girl, she would never know if you're telling the truth or just trying to play her again..." He said with sadness in his eyes as he brushed a few stray hairs from my face.
I slapped his hand away in a heartbeat and glared at him through my tear filled eyes. My voice was strained from crying but the venom in it was still clear as I told him, "How can I believe you when you run this type of business?"
I pushed past him and ran down the back stairwell into the alley. My legs gave out once I was through the doors and I fell on my hands and knees sobbing.
My heart left like it was going to burst. Why does seeing him bring back so many feelings? Anger, sadness, joy, hope, longing...
Yes, I longed for his touch, for his voice, his smile. I still love him, even after everything that happened and all this time. No other boy I date can make me love them like how I love Tae Jun. Everything about him haunts me on those cold and lonely nights...
I grabbed the chain around my neck and squeezed the pendant in my hands.
Just then the door opened. "Let me take you home, There's something I think you should know."
I looked up to see Tae Gyun's outstretched arm with a concerned look on his face.
"Fine." I said after a moment of comtemplating and took his hand. I probably shouldn't be following him again because this was all of his fault... But I think knowing something else would help take my mind off of the other events that occured tonight.
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